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Square Enix Final Fantasy Album Screws Up Human Eyes
Posted by Brian Ashcraft at 7:00 PM on June 18, 2008
See that? That's the top of Square Enix music album Final Fantasy Remix. We are putting the rest of the album behind the jump — not because it's risky or anything, but because it will give you a headache into enternity. The actual CD features piano "remixes" of Famicom, Super Famicom and PlayStation era Final Fantasy tunes. On sale this August, but the exact title list is still being finalised. Hit the jump for the full album art and regret it for the rest of your life.
Two minutes, that's all I can last before getting angry and feeling like throwing up.
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
DutchOtaku
Posted 7:32 PM 18/6/08
Oh god, after watching that for over thirty seconds i seriously began seeying dots :S...
DutchOtaku
scuba2steve
Posted 7:25 PM 18/6/08
aaaaaaahhhh..... i bet someone's gonna find Jesus in there if they look long enough...
scuba2steve
Channing
Posted 7:24 PM 18/6/08
Wow, even when I close my eyes I can still see it.
Channing
108
Posted 7:24 PM 18/6/08
Bashcraft, I think you missed the BIGGER NEWS here:
The fact that the press release literally contains this line:
"The track list is yet to be announced; however, we are pleased to present you with a picture of the cover art."
Is that not Square-Enix of the Modern Era in a nutshell, or what?
"Any details regarding the story or gameplay of Final Fantasy XIII are yet to be confirmed; however, we are pleased to present you this computer-generated image of a woman's face."
108
chip5541
Posted 7:23 PM 18/6/08
It's one thing to look at it but if you scroll down the page and watch it go past ... HOLY CRAP!!! I'm dizzy now and my eyes are twitching.
That being said I wonder if this is from the guy that did Final Fantasy Reborne? I have been listingin to his stuff for about 7 years.
chip5541
Handbanana37
Posted 7:22 PM 18/6/08
God it hurts my brain!! It's probably even worse since I'm sick.
Handbanana37
archibaldleech
Posted 7:20 PM 18/6/08
Oh these silly Magic Eye 3D puzzles. I can never get them right.
archibaldleech
JayD16
Posted 7:20 PM 18/6/08
Whats the big deal? Seems fine to me.
JayD16
underground_slacker
Posted 7:16 PM 18/6/08
ah man, thats horrible, my eyes are screaming.
underground_slacker
mynameisob3l
Posted 7:15 PM 18/6/08
if you stare at it long enough, you can see the dolphin!
mynameisob3l
Garo
Posted 7:15 PM 18/6/08
Hey look, a Bomber... ummm... /throws up
Garo
Shiryu
Posted 7:13 PM 18/6/08
Must... smash... destroy!!! :[
Anyway, whatever you do, do not kill it with fire, it will explode and take our party out!
Shiryu
Chirish
Posted 7:11 PM 18/6/08
Further proof of the Japanese secretly hating the rest of the world. I can assure you that their country's album cover shoots out a rainbow that massages the eye balls. Clearly this was no work of love.
Chirish
Ghede (Follow me for no raisin)
Posted 7:10 PM 18/6/08
Oh shitfuck. Nosebleed.
...
Wha? Earbleed too?
OH GOD I'M CRYING BLOOD.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY BRAIN?
Wait. Nevermind, It's jelly. However, that raises several more questions.
Ghede (Follow me for no raisin)
M.C.-Action
Posted 7:09 PM 18/6/08
Canrnwoet wwwwwwwrite anmaymorew meey eyererws hhhuuurwas,rtttt
M.C.-Action
notoriousEIC
Posted 7:08 PM 18/6/08
Things like this have absolutely no effect on me; maybe it's just that I have bad eyes. Anyway, I chuckled.
notoriousEIC
Elloello
Posted 7:08 PM 18/6/08
Reminds me of the old magic-eye paintings. Very cool... staring at those things always gave me a headache
Elloello
Cwn
Posted 7:07 PM 18/6/08
ARrrgh! My eyes! Well, I guess I can't can't say Kotaku didn't warn me.
I wonder what happened to the artist who designed the cover? Will they one day be found somewhere in a dark corner still clutching their head and moaning softly?
How long do we need to wait before someone tries to sue Squenix for inducing epilepsy in their child?
Cwn
Alpha85
Posted 7:07 PM 18/6/08
never had so much trouble with a ff bomb before x.x
Alpha85
Grecaun
Posted 7:06 PM 18/6/08
I think it'd be less painful to look at if it wasn't on a computer screen.
Grecaun
Daizaru1
Posted 7:04 PM 18/6/08
Trippy
Daizaru1
ittekimasu
Posted 7:03 PM 18/6/08
Nice to have the bomb on the front. But god it's hard to look at.
ittekimasu
dunetiger reads kotaku, seems pleased
Posted 7:02 PM 18/6/08
AGH! It's peanut butter seizure time!
Still, another rendition of the Theme of Love can't ever hurt.
dunetiger reads kotaku, seems pleased
eternalplayer2345
Posted 7:02 PM 18/6/08
MINDCRUSH!
eternalplayer2345
Zerozaki Ishiki
Posted 7:51 PM 18/6/08
Augh! I thought you meant they'd done some CGI monstrosity that got the eyes so uncanny vallyed up it made you sick, not that it would actually make your eyes erupt out of your face and drench your screen in blood! Good thing I can touch type!
Zerozaki Ishiki
AuraHACK
Posted 7:50 PM 18/6/08
I think my eyes just exploded. And since when does "Giant face of an angry fireball-man" equal "piano renditions of videogame classics"?
AuraHACK
osiris83
Posted 7:46 PM 18/6/08
What the bloody hell??
osiris83
cio
Posted 7:37 PM 18/6/08
I like it!
cio
MadMinstrel
Posted 8:04 PM 18/6/08
This is a safety risk for epileptics.
MadMinstrel
SatansBestBuddy
Posted 7:59 PM 18/6/08
.... I regret nothing.
SatansBestBuddy
Platypus Man
Posted 8:43 PM 18/6/08
You guys are a bunch of wusses. It's fine... I mean, maybe not the best choice of designs, but it's not like it hurts. And with the music contained therein, all shall be well...
Platypus Man
Y2Jason
Posted 8:34 PM 18/6/08
Don't know what's worse! The fact that it's a Bomb (hated those guys so much) or the fact that it makes me bleed from every orifice.
Reminds me of when I was little and you had those eye puzzle things where you had to stare at them for ages to see the image! Where have those things gone? I haven't seen any in ages!
Y2Jason
simmo
Posted 8:26 PM 18/6/08
haha thats awesome, seriously messed up. Now my avatar for msn messenger :D
simmo
Velops
Posted 8:20 PM 18/6/08
This would make a great jack o'lantern pattern if it weren't so seizure inducing.
Velops
Zyzex_Remix
Posted 8:18 PM 18/6/08
Neat!
Zyzex_Remix
Crimson_Ryan
Posted 8:16 PM 18/6/08
ITS MOVING!!! OH MY GOD ITS MOVING!
HOW CAN AN ALBUM MOVE!?!? HOW!? GESUZ
Crimson_Ryan
psychobaka
Posted 9:00 PM 18/6/08
NOTHING is as bad as Seizure Bots...NOTHING!
psychobaka
Mizuki
Posted 9:42 PM 18/6/08
My Eyes!!! MY EYES!!! Im melting... Im melting...
Mizuki
Angryrider
Posted 9:38 PM 18/6/08
What a gyp. I was expecting club remixes of my favorite songs so I can listen to them when I feel like an emo.
Angryrider
eakolb
Posted 10:13 PM 18/6/08
@scuba2steve:
You'll find Him just behind the second tooth from the left. Look closely.
</evilgrin>
eakolb
Pombar
Posted 10:56 PM 18/6/08
THA BOMB!
Pombar
evening-aura
Posted 11:20 PM 18/6/08
Well now I can add that bomb image to my list of migraine triggers.
evening-aura
DarkHomer
Posted 11:17 PM 18/6/08
IT BURNSES!!! *hiss*
DarkHomer
Firesoul1
Posted 11:16 PM 18/6/08
guys its a bomb...
but it looks cool anyway...
Firesoul1
evslin
Posted 11:11 PM 18/6/08
Why god why
evslin
Retropants regrets nothing
Posted 11:05 PM 18/6/08
So exactly how many Final Fantasy piano albums is that now?
Retropants regrets nothing
Dudemeister on the Run
Posted 11:31 PM 18/6/08
my left eye is back to normal. My right eye still sees lines. That's not good.
Dudemeister on the Run
Omatic
Posted 11:29 PM 18/6/08
Why would they want to hurt us so!?
Omatic
lucasreis
Posted 11:21 PM 18/6/08
Wow, that made me dizzy.
F*** squeenix
lucasreis
Cutriss
Posted 12:03 AM 19/6/08
The tracklist is not finalized, and yet there is trademarking there for every single FFXI expansion and for the Xbox 360.
What's mildly amusing to me is that they don't even have the correct title for Rise Of The Zilart. They're missing the "The".
Cutriss
Go Team Venture
Posted 12:03 AM 19/6/08
oh my god,whats square thinking. that's worse than walking out side and waiting till your feet freeze to then immediately walk back inside and have them painfully thaw for hours...except with your eyes.
Go Team Venture
Omnimon
Posted 12:03 AM 19/6/08
I saw the Jesus.
Omnimon
Phokal
Posted 11:58 PM 18/6/08
Just remember: at some point, someone honestly thought this was a good idea.
Phokal
arazzor
Posted 11:55 PM 18/6/08
Except for the fact that it made my eyes spin for a good 5 minutes, it looks kinda cool.
arazzor
TearsandScreams
Posted 11:53 PM 18/6/08
That actually gave me a headache. That's not normal...what is this?
TearsandScreams
Shad0X
Posted 12:37 AM 19/6/08
my eyes! >.<
Shad0X
lilaliendog
Posted 12:28 AM 19/6/08
zomg that's so awesome am I the only one that could stare lovingly into that bombs eyes?
lilaliendog
Desfunk
Posted 12:18 AM 19/6/08
i'm trying to figure out if there's anything ELSE in that picture (other then a bomb). but my eyes start bleeding when i look at it too long X_X
Desfunk
Human Bomb
Posted 12:48 AM 19/6/08
Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb.
@mynameisob3l: It's a SAILBOAT!
Human Bomb
Ryodestined
Posted 12:47 AM 19/6/08
That was crazy. What is with the Japanese and seizure inducing stuff? Can't wait for this album to come out.
Ryodestined
Mr. Fluffykins
Posted 1:48 AM 19/6/08
Somebody set us up the bomb!
Mr. Fluffykins
doubtful
Posted 1:40 AM 19/6/08
That made my 'Lewis Black' forehead vein pop out in anger.
doubtful
Xeneizes
Posted 1:32 AM 19/6/08
.....I have a horrible headache now!
Xeneizes
Shadowmist
Posted 2:14 AM 19/6/08
Ow...
Shadowmist
Enkur
Posted 3:04 AM 19/6/08
MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOZHING!
Enkur
Spoony Bard
Posted 2:55 AM 19/6/08
HOLY..............
GAHHHH
Spoony Bard
der13manner
Posted 2:48 AM 19/6/08
Might want to put a warning about epilepsy before the jump ... just a thought.
der13manner
Bleentastic sees bandwagon and jumps
Posted 2:38 AM 19/6/08
that is awesome hurt my eye's 3 secs into looking at it
Bleentastic sees bandwagon and jumps
fuchikoma
Posted 2:29 AM 19/6/08
I like it. When I scroll it almost looks colored.
fuchikoma
Mibu1
Posted 2:23 AM 19/6/08
Love it!
Mibu1
mast3r_blast3r
Posted 2:20 AM 19/6/08
i like it
mast3r_blast3r
djricekcn
Posted 3:45 AM 19/6/08
it's passed a minute and my eyes still hurt from it, literally
djricekcn
光物
Posted 3:36 AM 19/6/08
Ocular hemorrhaging ;_;
光物
jacksinn
Posted 3:34 AM 19/6/08
@mynameisob3l: It's a schooner!
jacksinn
VixDiesel
Posted 3:24 AM 19/6/08
i kinda like it.
VixDiesel
ggodo
Posted 4:23 AM 19/6/08
It burnsssssss usssssssss. . .
ggodo
HikariOblivion
Posted 4:02 AM 19/6/08
it made me cry x.x
HikariOblivion
hoezee
Posted 5:14 AM 19/6/08
I can only think of quoting "GET OUT OF MY HEAD CHARLES!"
Maybe the real life cover isn't as vomit inducing.
hoezee
ST19AG_WGreymon
Posted 5:11 AM 19/6/08
my eyes...
ST19AG_WGreymon
phrequency
Posted 5:10 AM 19/6/08
@phrequency: hmm just went to the website and saw a sample... it is indeed techno driven. still sounds interesting though, but was hoping for piano stuffs.
phrequency
phrequency
Posted 5:06 AM 19/6/08
@108: haha so true... so true.
as for the cd, hmm... so piano remixes as in like piano arrangements right? whenever i hear remix, i think techno stuff.
hopefully my assumption is right.. it'll be an interesting addition to my other piano collections.
phrequency
i_am_not
Posted 5:04 AM 19/6/08
Why isn't Catuar on the cover?...
i_am_not
FancifulUnicorn
Posted 4:38 AM 19/6/08
You know what they say... curiosity killed the eyesight.
FancifulUnicorn
fantus77
Posted 6:05 AM 19/6/08
I can't feel my legs...
I think i poo'd.
fantus77
TWD Industries
Posted 5:47 AM 19/6/08
Aww, man, what is it with Japan and seizure inducing black and white album covers?
TWD Industries
Gam3r
Posted 5:43 AM 19/6/08
Looks fine to me, looks great.
Gam3r
haggis
Posted 7:16 AM 19/6/08
Imagine being the designer working on that...
haggis
JennifARGH
Posted 10:06 AM 19/6/08
ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNO-BOMB
JennifARGH
108
Posted 1:25 PM 19/6/08
@TWD Industries: Merzbow isn't Japanese -- he's a Vegan!
I actually saw him in a vegan restaurant in Daikanyama late last year, by the way. I wanted to run up and be like hell yeah what's up Merzbow, though I didn't, because I was too busy enjoying my vegan hamburg steak and my (excruciatingly delicious) vegan kara-age. Also, he looked very . . . shockingly happy about something. He was sitting there with his big grin on his face, talking to a shiny young girl who might have been his sister.
108
samaine
Posted 4:09 PM 19/6/08
It's an Eye-Bomb!
samaine
dreamy-moon
Posted 11:55 PM 19/6/08
Owwwwwwwww that really hurts...
dreamy-moon
McFazo
Posted 1:32 AM 20/6/08
MY pretty eyes......it burnnnnsss...everyone...i'm on FAIYAHHHHH!!
McFazo
ProdigalMoon
Posted 1:58 AM 20/6/08
*vomits*
ProdigalMoon
sickrubik
Posted 1:31 AM 19/6/08
I think you mean "risque".
sickrubik
Spartan1308™
Posted 6:07 AM 20/6/08
Nice cover.
Spartan1308™
JebJoya
Posted 6:17 PM 20/6/08
@jacksinn: Hahahahaha, you dumb bastard! It's not a Schooner, it's a sailboat!
(Got here terribly late in the game, but I'm amazed you're the only one that made that joke...)
JebJoya
Kimbeegrin
Posted 5:04 AM 21/6/08
It's not THAT bad. If anything it will draw in the crazy raver types. I'd like a poster of that on my wall at home.
Kimbeegrin
DavidRS
Posted 9:05 PM 18/6/08
AARGH!!!!!!
This should come with an NSFE warning - Not Safe for Eyes.
DavidRS
TheLAG
Posted 4:33 PM 22/6/08
Remember that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark...
The one where the NAZI's open the Holy Ark?
Yeah, thats how my eyes feel like now.
TheLAG
kurokotetsu
Posted 3:13 PM 24/6/08
Peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time! Sorry, I crashed to hard. Had to regain control of myself.
kurokotetsu