RSS Feeds
announcements
The 10 Question Kotaku Aptitude Test
Posted by Stephen Totilo at 2:00 AM on June 24, 2008
It is not true that when you guest edit Kotaku you have to first pass a test.
If that was the case, how could you explain the fact that Carless, Bogost and Keighley all got a chance to guest-edit?
But if there was a test — if there was a serious 10-question examination given to determine just how well the guest-editor was familiar with Kotaku — I suspect it would be just like the one I "discovered" and "reprinted" below.
A warning to all you aspiring guest-editors. Do not cheat and use Google. I'll post the answers in the Day Note, if I make it that far.
Question #1
True or False: When Kotaku ran a poll in March 2006, asking readers whether Nintendo should re-name its console, then code-named the Revolution, one commenter suggested changing the name to: The Nintendo Sex.
Question #2
Match the Kotaku photo with the Kotaku Headline
1. Anti-Americanism Higher Than Its Been In A Long Time
2. New New Xbox 360 Chip Incoming!! Not Yet!!!
3. PS3 Is Way Complex
4. Gamers With Jobs Looks At Gamer Anticipation
5. Online Ads Coming To Xbox Live?
Question #3
Which of the following topics has never been mentioned in a Brian Ashcraft night note?
a) Buying a humidifier
b) The relaxing sensation of washing dishes
c) The evils of washing machines
c) The pleasures of knitting scarves
d) A yearning for Nerf products
Question #4
Which of these was not a real Kotaku headline?
a) Riccitiello: Warhammer won't rival World of Warcraft
b) McCain campaign releases facebook game: Pork Invaders
x) Totilo. Arrives. 6.23.08
y) Metareview — Lego Indiana Jones
Question #5
What colour is the non-red part of Kotaku's logo?
c) Yellow
z) Green
Question #6
When Kotaku reported that Sony would be unveiling a service for the PS3 called Home, the first comment in response was:
1) ........I'm REALLY scared of what is going to happen next........Simply because of the internet's tubes being clogged by the response
2) Who cares?
3) First!
4) I hope the actual announcement is something along the lines of getting rumble in the controller or dropping the price real badwrong.
Question #7
How much time elapsed between Kotaku breaking the existence of Home, Sony blackballing Kotaku and then Kotaku and Sony making nice?
Square) 1 hour
Circle) 5 hours
Triangle) 2 days
X) 1 week
Question #8
On November 8, 2004, Brian Crecente became the new editor of Kotaku (the previous guy in charge disappeared after posting something about a power outage). Brian introduced himself in his first post. And in his second, he:
LP) Posted about flagging GameCube sales
MM) Described the pros and cons of wearing a bird shirt
LA) Mentioned a Halo 2 copy being sold on eBay
LS) Reported the City of Heroes had won an award
Question #9
If you mouse over Leigh Alexander's byline, you will discover that she is identified by the Kotaku mainframe as:
1) LeighLiLuLeLo
2) LaLiLuLeLeigh
3SnakeEater) LaLeighLuLeLo
3Subsistence) LaLiLuLeighLo
Question #10
If you work for MTV News and are lucky enough to get your work blogged about on Kotaku, someone will write the following comment (please fill in the blanks):
I'm of the opinion that ____'s opinion doesn't mean shit. It __ a paid opinion for his userbase to gain more hits and to keep his userbase going. In any case, I think I prefer uneventful weather in Texas, usually its ___ ____ ___ or windy.
Remember, test-takers... no Google! Answers will be in the Day Note.
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
TRT-X
Posted 3:08 AM 24/6/08
This reminds me of the US Citizenship Test. Somebody who wants to learn the history of Kotaku would know these answers...whereas those of us who have been here for a while likely wouldn't even pay attention to them...
TRT-X
StephenTotilo
Posted 3:04 AM 24/6/08
@illiterati: I am humbled.
StephenTotilo
karasu is my homeboy
Posted 3:00 AM 24/6/08
1. How the hell am I suppossed to memorize everything commentors say?
/interest in this mean test
karasu is my homeboy
Darthvinder
Posted 2:59 AM 24/6/08
@Fnor:
1-4, 6, and 8 are correct, but are scored as "incorrect" because only "brue" is recognized.
So sorry.
Darthvinder
Speedbag
Posted 2:57 AM 24/6/08
Is there a prize for this?
allthumbsticks.blogspot.com/
Speedbag
Fnor
Posted 2:49 AM 24/6/08
@Justin42: There are four lights!
Fnor
Justin42
Posted 2:48 AM 24/6/08
Eight stormtroopers!
16 hats!
Justin42
Norellicus
Posted 2:42 AM 24/6/08
@bass.exe21: I'm right there with you on that one
Norellicus
jacksinn
Posted 2:39 AM 24/6/08
I believe I've spent more time looking up answers for Kotaku contest questions (and non-contest questions) than I did studying during my time as an undergrad.
jacksinn
Weirdwolf
Posted 2:38 AM 24/6/08
Ah finished with plenty of time to spare and with all the answers correct.
I'm sorry but I'm afraid you cannot see this test paper as you live inside the U.S.
Weirdwolf
illiterati
Posted 2:34 AM 24/6/08
"If that WERE the case" and "if there WERE a test."
They don't teach the subjunctive in journalism masters courses?
...I am so banned. Can Godwin's Law be used to defend grammar nazism?
illiterati
kylenalepa
Posted 2:33 AM 24/6/08
Whoops. Forgot to close a bold tag. Fail.
kylenalepa
StephenTotilo
Posted 2:33 AM 24/6/08
Anyone want me to ban this person who just wrote in all caps?
Bring me the hammer!
Oh wait, I know you...
StephenTotilo
(俗・ ) Grey Gecko
Posted 2:32 AM 24/6/08
I admit that this is the hardest test I have faced D= ,though I remember most of the events I can't recall details.
(俗・ ) Grey Gecko
kylenalepa
Posted 2:32 AM 24/6/08
Welcome, Mr. Totilo! I hope you enjoy your stint guest-editing here at Kotaku. We lowly masses will try to make your stay as comfortable as possible, although you should make sure to have the Ban Hammer on standby, just in case.
Question 1: True
Question 2:
-Peter Moore, Gamers With Jobs Looks At Gamer Anticipation
-Ketchup Oral, Anti-Americanism Higher Than Its Been In A Long Time
-Horse, New New Xbox 360 Chip Incoming!! Not Yet!!!
-Crying baby, PS3 Is Way Complex
-Corn Nuts, Online Ads Coming To Xbox Live?
Question 3: The relaxing sensation of washing dishes
Question 4: Totilo. Arrives. 6.23.08
Question 5: Green
Question 6: Who cares?
Question 7: Two days
Question 8: Mentioned a Halo 2 copy being sold on eBay
Question 9: LeighLiLuLeLo
Question 10: I'm of the opinion that Totilo's opinion doesn't mean shit. It writes a paid opinion for his userbase to gain more hits and to keep his userbase going. In any case, I think I prefer uneventful weather in Texas, usually it's 100 fucking degrees or windy.
Yay! I answered all the questions! This is a completion grade, right?
kylenalepa
Leigh Alexander
Posted 2:31 AM 24/6/08
MAN THIS TOTILO GUY HE DOESNT KNOW ANYTHING, HE'S JUST HERE TO DRIVE MORE HITS TO MTV MULTIPLAYER AND MTV IS A MAINSTREAM SELLOUT ANYWAY, HE DOESNT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT KOTAKU
Leigh Alexander
Hand_O_Death
Posted 2:31 AM 24/6/08
WOO HOO!! I loved the post about the Bird Shirts!
Hand_O_Death
Fnor
Posted 2:29 AM 24/6/08
1: blue.
2: blue.
3: blue.
4: blue.
5: false.
6: blue.
7: long enough for people to confuse the first amendment, the sherman antitrust act, and separation of powers.
8: blue.
9: 3SnakeEater.
10: Anyone, wioll haven be, dry, blue, not-blue.
Fnor
greyhoundbus
Posted 2:26 AM 24/6/08
Question 5: It's a trick!
greyhoundbus
TitillatedOcelot
Posted 2:25 AM 24/6/08
Ok I get it! I'm not worthy...YEESH. Bring in the wee lasses to toss about flower petals while the adoring masses chant "thank you for saving us from ourselves!"
Just shittin' ya. Welcome aboard Stephen!
TitillatedOcelot
Sportyboard
Posted 2:25 AM 24/6/08
Err... that should be #4
Sportyboard
Sportyboard
Posted 2:24 AM 24/6/08
#5 is A. I recognized the headline from Joystiq last night.
Sportyboard
Mommar
Posted 2:21 AM 24/6/08
SnakeEaterLaLeighLuLeLo seems suggestive.
Mommar
Megan Fox iz Hot ^-^ -ph15h
Posted 2:21 AM 24/6/08
@Kanik: Better than Jake G-something.
-_-
Megan Fox iz Hot ^-^ -ph15h
Zentac
Posted 2:20 AM 24/6/08
Q5 is a trick question, the non green/yellow/(lime) part isn't red, it's pink!
Zentac
Ghede (Follow me for no raisin)
Posted 2:18 AM 24/6/08
@Ghede (Follow me for no raisin): Ahhh, frig, it removed the left-right carets. ... Just pretend there is a left-right-left-right between the vv and the BA.
Ghede (Follow me for no raisin)
bass.exe21
Posted 2:18 AM 24/6/08
*reads question #5*
*head explodes*
bass.exe21
Darth Navster
Posted 2:18 AM 24/6/08
"I'm of the opinion that *Jenny's* opinion doesn't mean shit. It *smells* a paid opinion for his userbase to gain more hits and to keep his userbase going. In any case, I think I prefer uneventful weather in Texas, usually its *moist* *smelly* *chicken* or windy."
Mad Libs are fun!
Darth Navster
Ghede (Follow me for no raisin)
Posted 2:18 AM 24/6/08
SHIT! I STUDIED FOR AN ESSAY QUESTION!
...
Just remain calm ... ^^vvBA!
Did I pass?
Ghede (Follow me for no raisin)
Lazlo
Posted 2:17 AM 24/6/08
Blast! Blast it all! The menutia of my life gets in the way of my Kotaku time!! I can't keep them straight!
Lazlo
TRT-X
Posted 2:17 AM 24/6/08
I love #2. Though I can't come up with the right answer, its fun trying to imagine the reasoning for any one of those photos to go with any of the headlines.
Like the ketchup bottle one. Perfect for the third headline? Is it right...Idunno.
TRT-X
Apreche
Posted 2:16 AM 24/6/08
No Google? How will you be able to tell?
Apreche
bean, bean, the musical... well, you know.
Posted 2:15 AM 24/6/08
Alternate headline: Kotaku Brain Age: Super Totilo Edition Turbo
bean, bean, the musical... well, you know.
ShaggE
Posted 2:13 AM 24/6/08
Wow, I thought I knew Kotaku pretty well. How humbling. :p
ShaggE
Kanik
Posted 2:13 AM 24/6/08
That pic made me realize...Crecente looks like he could easily play the part of the prince in the Prince of Persia movie...just saying.
Kanik
tonka_92
Posted 2:13 AM 24/6/08
lol, I can't even get the answer to question 5...
I fail at Kotakuness
tonka_92
Y2Jason
Posted 2:11 AM 24/6/08
Uh ummm geez - true?! :o
Y2Jason
Arsenicberyllium
Posted 2:10 AM 24/6/08
Wow. That test is ridiculously hard.
And sarcastic.
Though I'd like to point out that question #4 had the McCain headline from yesterday, and wasn't actually phrased like that.
Arsenicberyllium
infi
Posted 2:10 AM 24/6/08
no google? but but ... google replaced my brain for remembering stuff
infi
Dakobah
Posted 2:08 AM 24/6/08
lol Question 6 #3 is hillarious i bet thats what happened.
Dakobah
ManjiKengo
Posted 2:06 AM 24/6/08
eh.....
ManjiKengo
Megan Fox iz Hot ^-^ -ph15h
Posted 2:05 AM 24/6/08
Yeah... I would totally fail this :(
Megan Fox iz Hot ^-^ -ph15h
mariospants
Posted 4:17 AM 24/6/08
holy CRAP that was DIFFICULT. You'd have to have the memorization skills of a savant, in which case you'd probably be really good at Donkey Kong, too.
mariospants
Reetesh
Posted 4:05 AM 24/6/08
Why has every test turned into a set of MCQs :S
I like Descriptive type questions :(
Reetesh
Bluecell
Posted 4:05 AM 24/6/08
@Fnor: HA. Star Trek reference.
I'm disappointed in myself for knowing that....
Great episode though. I like the fact that he tells Troi he could actually see five lights.
I'm such a fucking nerd.
Bluecell
dead_red_eyes
Posted 4:04 AM 24/6/08
@Leigh Alexander:
CAPS IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL LEIGH. That said, you are cool ... like the other side of the pillow.
@Speedbag:
C'mon, don't advertise your blog in the comments. Be classy and put it in your profile.
@StephenTotilo:
How in the hell did you cook this up?! This is just as hard as the Kotaku contest questions.
dead_red_eyes
goldwings
Posted 3:58 AM 24/6/08
I FAILED! Please don't let Crecente's giant head kill me :(
goldwings
rainofwalrus
Posted 3:53 AM 24/6/08
something tells me wordsmith skills rank higher than obscure kotaku trivia, but I've been wrong before...
rainofwalrus
Protector one
Posted 3:45 AM 24/6/08
Is #5 a cleverly masked Sapir-Whorff color experiment? I (caucasian male, 22, Dutch, favorite color: blue) feel it is green.
Protector one
Len Bias Cocaine Surplus
Posted 3:45 AM 24/6/08
I think question 10 was on my SAT a few years ago.
Len Bias Cocaine Surplus
StephenTotilo
Posted 5:11 AM 24/6/08
@dead_red_eyes:
It wasn't that hard, actually. I've been kicking the idea around for a while, since Crecente asked me to fill-in. Thought everyone would enjoy it.
StephenTotilo
Zero_Beat
Posted 4:38 AM 24/6/08
@Zero_Beat: 2-3 should read "Woman unable to figure out..."
Zero_Beat
Zero_Beat
Posted 4:37 AM 24/6/08
Okay, I'll take a shot.
1. True.
2-1 Why is the baby crying?
2-2 Red-Eyes Peter Moore
2-3 Woman to figure out how a ketchup bottle works.
2-4 Horsie!
2-5 Corn Nuts!
3. B, because as someone who's been washing dishes for seven years and gotten damn good at it, I can tell you that it is never relaxing.
4. X
5. Z - It is a pale green.
6. 3
7. Triangle.
8. MM
9. 3Subsistence
10. I'm of the opinion that "Jack"'s opinion doesn't mean shit. It "is" a paid opinion for his userbase to gain more hits and to keep his userbase going. In any case, I think I prefer uneventful weather in Texas, usually its "way too hot" or windy.
Zero_Beat
Harrison20
Posted 4:35 AM 24/6/08
.... Fuck you #5. Color blindness sucks.
Harrison20
TheDollHouse
Posted 4:24 AM 24/6/08
*Leans over to the person next to her* pssst.... Do you know the answer to question 5?
TheDollHouse
Gfunksnow
Posted 4:24 AM 24/6/08
@StephenTotilo: you mean you were humble"izeded-izm" you know, just to help with the grammar and all.
Gfunksnow
hrabbit
Posted 5:46 AM 24/6/08
this test is hard! *cries*
hrabbit
Manator (Follow me and die!)
Posted 5:45 AM 24/6/08
@Manator (Follow me and die!): Oh, and a cookie to whoever gets that joke too.
Manator (Follow me and die!)
Manator (Follow me and die!)
Posted 5:45 AM 24/6/08
I'll take Famous Titties for $200.
Manator (Follow me and die!)
TitillatedOcelot
Posted 5:41 AM 24/6/08
@grecords: All it did for me was get me 30 lives in Contra. I think I was doing it wrong...
TitillatedOcelot
grecords
Posted 5:32 AM 24/6/08
ABACADABA
Its like a cheat code for high school tests.
grecords
grecords
Posted 5:31 AM 24/6/08
ABACADABA
*Points to above*
This got me through high school
grecords
retronaut
Posted 7:08 AM 24/6/08
Question #1
A: TRUE
Question #2
A: Can't stop laughing about this pictures, so...
[img][kotaku.com]]
Question #3
Pretty much everything, I guess?
Question #4
y
Question #5
Is yellow-green-ish a color?
Question #6
2 definitively!
Question #7
Triple X
Question #8
All wrong, he posted a picture of himself and his grin.
Question #9
Can't be bother with such trickery right now. What's JavaScript?
Question #10
That's no a question. HA!
--
So! Now, what did I win?
retronaut
Grimmjow Jeagerjaques
Posted 7:56 AM 24/6/08
Mustard?
Grimmjow Jeagerjaques
InsidiousTuna
Posted 7:19 AM 24/6/08
Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Start.
I won!
InsidiousTuna
superfrogsavestokyo
Posted 9:16 AM 24/6/08
@Manator (Follow me and die!):
I adore SNL Celebrity Jeopardy skits. That Sean Connery is a rascal.
Now that's a test for the hardcore Kotakuites. I can't even attempt it. Well done.
superfrogsavestokyo
nonhuman
Posted 9:57 AM 24/6/08
@StephenTotilo: If you ban L. Alexander, I will be deeply saddened... it's probably the best writer in the site.
The really sad part..?
Until the "she" in question number nine, I was completely sure that Leigh Alexander was a man hahaha (I'm not familiar with the name Leigh... didn't know it was a female name). Those are shocking news.
So... Welcome Stephen..! And please excuse me Miss Alexander =\
nonhuman
nonhuman
Posted 10:45 AM 24/6/08
@GOD: Even God himself makes mistakes..!
=]
nonhuman
GOD
Posted 10:21 AM 24/6/08
@GOD: Oh! i get it now...
funny...
GOD
GOD
Posted 10:20 AM 24/6/08
@Leigh Alexander: You are an idiot!
GOD
Barf#1
Posted 10:19 AM 24/6/08
@StephenTotilo: I enjoyed hope you find fulfillment in your toils as kotaku editor:)
Barf#1
Spoony Bard
Posted 3:03 AM 25/6/08
@nonhuman: Oh, you make me LOL so hard. :D
Spoony Bard