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Super Chuck Norris Bros. -- Wait, This is *Real*?
Posted by Owen Good at 11:00 AM on July 13, 2008
This is is a story in two parts. The first is how insanely hilarious is that video above. Every time I think of Chuck Norris, I think of Joe Bob Briggs and his tour de force review of Delta Force 2, and that game above deserves its own Joe Bob-style rundown: No breasts. No blood. No mushrooms. One hundred and four dead bodies. Shotgun fu. Chainsaw fu. Flamethrower fu. Shotgunned Koopa. Smoldering Koopa. Flying Goomba. Flattened Goomba. Exploding Flag. Exploding Castle. Exploding coin box. Exploding bricks. Exploding start screen. Gratuitous defoliation. Gratuitous dialog boxes. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for visual effects for loss of entire raster lines due to overwhelming awesome violence. Four stars. Kotaku says check it out.

The Spore creators have started releasing prototypes, apparently modeled on certain parts of the title's overall gameplay, and now you can download and explore the first: "ParticleMan".
Am I the only one looking at this with an OCD urge to rip back the controller and go hit the first coinbox? Come on, this is World 1-1. And it's painted on a concrete wall, although Mr. Juandrful over at Kezins doesn't say exactly where.
Because, I dunno, herding animals around is fun or something, there's an game coming soon via Capcom, called "Flock", first noticed this week when the developer unveiled its E3 lineup. More or less, you're manning an alien spaceship that's making off with flocks, gaggles, coveys, clowders, murders, cackles, prides etc. of animals. Your means of encouragement? Why, a death ray of course. PETA should love the shit out of this game. IGN describes it in very Lemmings-friendly terms. If that's your cup of tea, it'll be out via Xbox Live Arcade, Playstation Network, and for PC download, soon.
Reuters are reporting that a deal between Electronic Arts and MTV will make the Madden 09 soundtrack available in the weekly downloadable content update for Rock Band.
That guy is Seth Krauss, the less-public and
Word started
Epic week for the KO-riginals, friends. And this is just the runup to E3. Only next week could make this week's avalanche of fresh reported copy pale in comparison. Lots of pre-E3 leaks and reportage dominated Originals, not to mention Leigh digging into the bitchslap handed Jack Thompson to tell us he faces a fat fine, and Bash's hee-larious translation smash of the faek Wii HD. It was a lively half fortnight of reporting in Kotakopolis, refresh yourself with these highlights (and more after the jump.)