hilarious article. I hope it gains enough steam and Kojima comments on it.

@Antiterra: Naomi is a whore. Look at what she's wearing half the game.

argh

So, did anyone read the text next to the picture of Psycho Mantis at the end of the article? This guy is just talking out of his ass and trolling.

Benzak

Doesn't she cry because Snake is covered with scars from battle wounds?

Annex1

Kotaku running short on story ideas?
For the next story, why not list the reasons why Solid Snake will never need to use MegaDik.

BigWyrm

Idoru posters and naughty magazines say Snake has junk aplenty and functioning.

And anyone who still calls Naomi a whore after playing MGS4 (or before, for that matter) deserves to die a thousand excruciating death in that special circle of hell reserved for blasphemous wretches.

Antiterra

Its erm, also heavily implied that Snake and Meryl "did the nasty" sometime between MGS1 and MGS2, so its doubtful.

SnakeCL

@Ruglia: *puts on flamesuit*

CHU BOI

@Candlejack: Nice catch

CHU BOI

Best of all? Compare the kind of post-MGS4 posts to the post-Halo 3 posts in Kotaku. They're totally different.

Even here, MGS4 owns Halo 3's ass (in my opinion, gentlemen).

Ruglia

You can catch Snake fighting the Solid Snake in MGS2. Just stand in front of the Asian chick in a black bikini poster and call Otacon.

Oh yes, Snake's got his very own Single Action Army.

Please, everyone, forgive me.

Ruglia

I'm also going to use this opportunity to bring up something that I thought was strange: When did Naomi get so hot? She always looked like a Martha Stewart in MGS1, but now suddenly she's a super model?

Thorax

such a universal discovery... ALERT THE INTERNETS!

Maestar

You know you have too much time on your hands when...

EmeraldDragon

@bobtheduck: Seriously though, I wouldn't mind staring at that guys butt all day. BABY GOT BACK!

He could still have a penis. It could be really small or it could be like a pig's.

TheDollHouse

Um, I thought it was explained in one of the older MGS games:

His sperm just won't work. He can do the act, but he's sterile.

Apparently, the ball grabing in MGS1 is due to the fact that Snake is renowned for a large dong, in MGS2 it was because Raiden and Olga could easily be confused, so they were making sure Raiden wasn't her.

Terance!

What is it with the sex connection to every facite of MGS. I mean I know Kojima ask for sometimes but damn is there anything in this game that can't be taken sexualy?

immikeulate

I found the rest of the article rather interesting actually, as opposed to this part just being funny about it.

Green-clad Gamer Dude

@SG79: Oh yeah...well maybe big boss is a penisless as well and he's a clone of a man with no penis! A HA!

Boxelder

@Candlejack: **SPOILER**

I want to believe that the relationship between Vamp and Naomi was more like a mother/son thing. She considered him as "her" monster. If she did fuck him besides that then her whoriness just got to a whole other level.

slomo788

@Krondonian: Chief has one - he was nothing more than a normal 5-year old before being indoctrinated into the SPARTAN-II program. However, the books do mention a repressed sex drive as a side effect of the genetic enhancements.

RedRaptor

According to Hideo Kojima: Solid Snake's penis was grafted onto Revolver Ocelot, whereupon his mind was apparently possessed by it as a result of the transplant.

Oh wait... that was Liquid Snake wasn't it? Fuck.

humongous_mouse

@Boxelder: I thought they used the fact that he had a penis to determine it wasn't Raiden.

ggodo

@Boxelder:

That was Big Boss in MGS3, and that wasn't Raiden.

It's a shame that the blogger is getting traffic for such a stupid post. Maddox wasn't funny, but at least he a point once in a while, but this is... ugh.

SG79

@Leigh Alexander: Your second post begs the (legitimate) question: do you believe women (even whores) could cry over a man without penis in their house?

slomo788

@TheDollHouse: Keep telling yourself that... It's ok, no one will judge you (...)

bobtheduck

No Penis? Please.

All those pr0n mags? What do you think he does under that box?

umbrae

THERE IS NO PENIS. It's a plot point - it's how they determine he's not Raiden when he's in disguise.

Boxelder

A guy with that fine of an ass can't be male!!

TheDollHouse

Does it matter? He can still use his mouth and tongue. Or just get a strap-on.

...

I'm going to leave now. I just filled my own mind with some fucked up images.

Tyber_Zann

Didn't snake beat off in a locker in MGS2?

chuffhoncho

@Leigh Alexander: I'm with you Leigh. As bizarre as it sounds, I want Snake to have a penis. He goes through hell almost through out his entire life, at least give him his manhood.

I also hate to ruin that hilarious quote, but snake wasn't completely naked in that scene. He just had his shirt off.

Thorax

Hasn't this man been through enough? At the least, can we not leave him his dignity?

yashichi8bit

I saw this the other day. LOL. That is all.

theTOMSTA666

@CHU BOI: I didn't know that she fucked shit as well. That's disgusting. I thought she was only servicing Vamp, Otacon and maybe one or two more people.

Seriously though. Vamp? Man, what was Kojima thinking I must ask. Oh well. His crotch knife rocks.

Candlejack

@Krondonian: Link is totally a eunuch.

wild homes is weathering cephalopod trouble!

sigh

Murderdolls

I think he's probably sterile, given the nature of the story--the cloning and whatnot. He does always carry the nudie books, though--they can't only be for distracting dudes-- and I'm sure sometimes he browses them, even if just for the articles. Overall, I'd suspect he has to have some junk. Even if just for going.

wild homes is weathering cephalopod trouble!

I know Snake is very famous, so these crucial questions are bound to be raised, but I would have thought that the extreme tightness of Snakes attire in MGS4 could confirm or RUMOUR SMASH these allegations at any time?

Of course this also begs the question, what of Link? What of Masterchief? What of Mario?

Because I don't trust fan art to make a solid judgment. Google 'Samus Aran' without safesearch enabled and you'll know what I mean.

*shudders*

Krondonian

what the

warxsnake

While that quote is hilarious, it's actually the old, aged body of Snake that makes her cry. If you haven't seen it; it looks like a third degree burn.

Although he's right on the money with Naomi being a whore. I don't like her. Good thing that she's dead. Fucking bitch.

Candlejack

I think we need to hold a fundraiser so that we can find & buy off some guy's penis and donate it to Snake. Yes-sir-e bob, that's what need to do.

Nets_Fan

@attila: I know, right? Fun articles really grind the shit out of my gears.

gb2 magazines.

chorx

proof reading? "haev a penis?"

jove

Also, she cries because the legendary mercenary is so aged and damaged and it's a damn shame and excuse me I need a tissue.

Leigh Alexander

could of sworn i heard that he couldn't have kids so i wouldn't be surprised if he was a Snip Snip lol idk damn you kotaku and your random stories that make me think.

Raziel Dune

"Keep in mind that Naomi is the biggest whore in the MG universe and there's nothing that makes a whore cry more than having a man show up with no penis in her house."

LMFAO! Wow. Funniest shit I've heard in whiiiiile. Naomi is a slutball, fucking with Otacon and shit....Now, that Mei Ling...Akiba knows what I'm talking 'bout ;-)

CHU BOI

Obviously I must weigh in on this key issue.

Genetic clones, like Dolly the sheep, or baby chickens or whatnot, are generally sterile - that means they tend not to produce reproductive cells, or the ones they produce are no good. It does not indicate an absence of genitalia.

/defense of Snake's manhood

Leigh Alexander

Spoiler in article. =P

DigitalHero

Is this news worthy?

runandgun

ahahahaha, great article.

mbx

I don't know nothin' about penises, but I do know that Snake doesn't have the ability to reproduce. It's part of the way he was created.

ShirtGuyDom

Either that or she's crying because she's soooooo happy or soooo frightened, even whores can get too much, after all.

surrealistgesture

Then why, in South America, did she grab at his penis? He didn't want to let her, but she did anyway.

Oh yeah, I'm arguing this/

Crimson_Ryan

Maybe grabbing all those men's crotches had a deeper meaning to it.

suya123

It's from all the ground he was dry humping in the first two chapters.

Voteforme2020

A good reason not to read Kotaku, this is.

attila

I uhh.. don't see the importance in this enough to actually think about it without feeling really uncomfortable...

Cheebahawk

THIS is why I visit Kotaku.

thebetamax

That quote is probably the funniest thing I've read all month. I HAVE to play this game, now xD

man_in_gauze wonders who watches courage the cowardly dog nowadays, anyway? :(

Uhhh... WTF.

evslin

I don't care as to whether he has a penis or not, but this picture is win.

everybest

In-game he's told he wasn't given a penis to stop him reproducing isn't he?

Rybo5000

Oh and

"Is there a way I can take my pants off?"
Big Boss

Spoony Bard

@Green-clad Gamer Dude: Yeah I know a girl named Kayleigh (pronounced like kaylee) but it was spelled so close I couldn't resist.

Rurik

The reality is no match for the legend, I'm afraid.

Spoony Bard

snake's a player. he's got junk. for sure

Gypse-scum

@CHU BOI: I lol'd. Oh man.

@Rurik: Heh. I believe her name is pronounced as "Lee."

Green-clad Gamer Dude

@Benzak: Thanks for that. I knew it was satirical, but it's nice to have the proof. What a waste of time that was.

Furysetzer

Hey Mike, you mispelled "does Solid Snake haev a penis?"

I'm tired too, the economy isn't helping me find a job. :(

zerokoolpsx

Yes even if he isn't as manly as Master Chief or Fenix he has a penis. /sigh

Garo

hes got a wang, he just shoots blanks.

pandafresh

@Terance!:
lol @ the last part.

Lot's of lols while reading this, actually. But I shouldn't read too much because of spoilers.

Poor Snake.

.em.

@Leigh Alexander: dont you mean "Obviously I must LEIGH in on this key issue."

awful pun, but had to be said.

Rurik

@Leigh Alexander: Naomi is not very different from the BB corps. She's just a victim of war and its deception. She did all this out of vengeance. She also reminds me of Otacon's sister.

slomo788

@KenogaBrave: No time to pee on the battlefield.

CHU BOI

My wife worked in a nursing home and I've heard horror stories of what old men look like. Gentlemen, it doesn't stay Solid forever! Case closed.

RYAMATSU

So does he stand or sit when he pees?

KenogaBrave

When it's news when a dog has 12 puppies, it's news if Snake has a schlong.

Talleh

@Boxelder: Nah, Big Boss has a penis, he is just infertile because he was involved in nuclear tests before Snake Eater was set.

hamandcheeseUK

Oh come on, let the poor man be. ;_; He has suffered enough without internet mob stealing his willy.

ara

Really dumb issue to ponder IMO.
I bet he's covered in torture scars for one thing...
and finally, if that were official, do you really think Kojima could resist bringing it up? Kind of a post-series "oh BTW, Dumbledore is gay!" thing? I don't - I think he'd do three hour-long cutscenes where they discuss the implications of it, and I'm being serious there.

fuchikoma

@slomo788: I think if I were in love with a guy, like really, and it was revealed that he was lacking in equipment, I would cry.

Also, I hate Naomi. Everything's her fault.

Leigh Alexander

First its penis monsters in SPORE now its if sanke has a penis... Is it me or does america have a penis infriority complex. Our kids are making penis pics on high school desks for crying out loud what are we coming to????? Seriously there are more male genitalia than any other... are we more male sexually oriented as days go by?

adragonfang18

@sascha23: Need to replenish you sense of humor rations?

Yes, I went there. Or not.

Ruglia

ming, haev

you people need spell check.

fear.n.loathing

Haha. Running out of news today Kotaku?

sascha23

@kneehighspy:

O c'mon its funny. Its not news, just something to draw your attention to and have a nice light-hearted discussion (especially on such a tense and sad story as MGS4). These posts are a part of what makes Kotaku great!

Weasel3689

I have to go along with the thought that just because he's sterile doesn't mean he doesn't have a...solid snake.

Then again, no need to shed tears over something he's never had!

Lainface

I guess this post should stop Spoiler Duck's discussioh he was having about sexism in MGS4 on the last psot about the naked motion capture actors....

Alex_Mexico

@CHU BOI: Actually, there is time to pee on the battlefield. I know in MGS2 and MGS4 there are enemy soldiers who pee. There's also the Resistance guy you trail in MGS4 who ran to park and peed. Also, I believe it was one of the character in MGS who peed when a gun was pointed at his face. Man, there's been a lot of peeing in the MGS games, kinda odd.

Andienus

why does anyone even care about this topic? why does this even make news on any site, much less every site i visit daily?

kneehighspy

Not to say that I have a problem with Kotaku. The site is funny if you know that it is there just to laugh at how dumb and wrong it is.

Netnavi

Who the fuck... I swear dude. snake had junk, she was crying cus how old his body was... and he had pants in that part. Hes not dickless hes sterile what kinda dumb ass made that observation, this is the kinda shit that make people knock this game. cus they are too dumb to figure out the story on their own.

IvoryMelotron

I don't care whether he has one or not. He's STILL manlier than most of us.

Angryrider

Guys. He has a penis. It like any clone or cross breed. The genes are unable to reproduce. Like a when you cross ahorse and a donkey. They have penis's but cant rpeoduce.

The site is a big troll site and the guys at Kotaku must be really bored or they are running out of news for the day. Troll sites houldn't be here ...but I guess if it's for fun then it's okay. Just some people take this way to seriously. Like when people said guiles name wrong and swore up and down that they were right and you were wrong. No it's not pronounced Gully and Snake does have a penis.

Funny, with all the sexual repression in this country people sure are obsessed with it. Pre teens and teens being sexualized in the media , sex scenes in games, Softcore porn in late night tv, Tila tequila and MTV ( the worst kind of crap on tv this generation) it's a wonder why anyone says they have a problem with it (like publicity groups that complain about sex in everything) when they show it and talk about it consistently on a daily basis. Yet guns and horrendous violence is okay. This country is screwy.

Netnavi

Whether Snake has a penis or not is debatable, however he does have a nice buttocks, which leads to conclusion that he is a taker and not a giver.

2SBs

@Leigh Alexander:

====Spoilers Follow===

Naomi wasn't all bad. I mean at ending she helped wipe out the whole system with her AI augmentation with sunny. And.....well......she made Otakon a man (as if that was ever possible). Give her a little credit.

Weasel3689

This article made my day. Seriously. I was rolling on the floor a minute ago. I love you Kotaku, with mouth.

LordMagnusMastah

@Iarwain: Love lenght? Holy shit!

Man, I just learned something from you.

Ruglia

Hint: Ctrl + A at the end of the article. :D

DustySword

@Rurik: Actually no, it didn't, considering her name is pronounced Lee. But thanks!

wild homes is weathering cephalopod trouble!

hahaha, that excerpt is so hilarious.

perhaps that explains all the penis envy crotch shots with disabling guards and statue grabage =P

phrequency

I think the Author at Binary whatever... has no penis.

Handbanana37

Looks like CiciColino just beat me to it, but I was just about to mention how in MGS2, if you call Otcaon whilst looking at a poster of softcore Japanese porn, Snake has a wank.

Now please tell me how that is possible without a love length

Iarwain

Solid Snake for president.

EsCO823

ehm ehm...

MGS2 has an easter egg where snake JACKS OFF... How can he do that without a... solid snake?

And the whole "there wasn't the technology to perform a vasectomy" is extremely flawed since, guess what, there wasn't the technology to create *omfg* nanomachines *omfg* and human clones! hmmmm

CiciColino

Who... cares? The MGS series tells an awesome story and, imo, is fun to play too. Just enjoy games man.

panzerjedi

Why would a clone have a penis?... And the quote is bullshit.

Dragzonox

makes sense, nanomachines did it.

To everyone who wrote a serious long winded response: get a life.

Philudo

@Rurik: Wrong, wrong, wrong. I'm done instructing people on the pronunciation of my name.

Leigh Alexander

Well I would imagine it would be kind of weird to create a 3d model of a penis for a game character that you would never see... unless it has something to do with making a pornography game.

DranzerKire

@DustySword: ...and killed himself and got his daughter traumatized.

Ashurahori

@Netnavi:

Still disturbing, I mean his dad was with her too at the time, ya know.

DustySword

@Weasel3689: Otacon was already a man. He screwed his stepmother.

Ashurahori

i thought it was a hybrid that was sterile not a clone

Tfab2010

@DustySword: not like they are related.

Netnavi

Not sure what's up with all the salty bitches on here, but I found his observations quite funny and inciteful... granted i don't agree with them, as making a man sterile isn't all that hard even in the late 60's/early 70's... trust me.

UncleScrotar

@Shiroi Kaze:

Yeah, she did. She even invited him to strip search her later on. :D But the article was a joke anyway. Ctrl + A near the end in the Psycho Mantis area and you'll see what I mean.

DustySword

@Alex_Mexico: HAHA lol.

yeah. Does Snake not having a penis or the ability to procreate even the "odds" so to say. It's just ridiculous to me.

In fact it would even further prove that Snake gets hornyer because he can't procreate. Sexual frustration or knowing that he wouldn't get a girl pregnant if he did anything. Or Sadness because he is the last of his generation (The theme of 4)

My mind is bottled.

Netnavi

Wait... didn't Naomi see Snake naked before? I mean, when she injected him with FOXDIE at the beginning of MGS...

Shiroi Kaze

@Weasel3689:

Actually... Otacon's stepmom made him a man... as disturbing as that sounds. :D

DustySword

@Candlejack: I feel the same way. Except I feel that way towards Meryl in MGS4. You expected her to wind up with Snake after MGS but instead she winds up with the guy who can't even keep his pants on.

Fireblast

omg, not news. I come to Kotaku for serious, thought-provoking discussions and you would think, after seeing posts like this, almost daily, you guys would have learned by now. Thanks for wasting my time, Kotaku. If I see one more post like this, I'm gone. FOREVER.

everybest

I LOLed.

People who are offended (and you know who you are) really need to learn what the term "humor" is. Snake is overrated, a few potshots are well deserved.

Mal-Content

no wonder how he's able to sneak around, he's missing some of the extra weight.. =P

bulletwitch

Hey, what about Big Mama? I coulda sworn in the last cutscene with her, I saw a nipple!

Elliuotatar

@NeoAkira: Do I care what you think? Are you smarter than a retarded cow? No

Should you get off the internet? Is your mom a retarded cow? Yes

runandgun

And people question the hard hitting journalism of gaming websites.

Snake is fully equipped with an operating python, he simply does not produce viable genetic material for reproduction.

In the tanker of MGS2 he tames his snake in the locker while looking at one of the pinups. Evident in the codec call between a surprised Otocon and a panting Snake.

revender

@panzerjedi:

No one said MGS was not fun or had a bad story. Also I'm curious, how does this not count as enjoying the game? I'm pretty sure talking about the game in an enjoyable fashion counts as enjoying the game.

@runandgun: Is that comment worthy? Actually I'll answer that for you. No.

NeoAkira

I'm sure he has a twig and berries, he just shoots blanks. Naomi was startled by the state of his body, which she examined in 2005 right before Shadow Moses.

Proto_Man

Oh god. The binary fractal guy has been bombing message boards, blogs and image boards all the time to get traffic to this nonstory.
I'm really disappointed Kotaku is giving the guy more hits.

WildVulture

that M82 Barrett mor than makes up for it, and snake has a snake, why would he be such a womanizing bastard if he didnt?

npa191

@Leigh Alexander: Can I call you Alex, Alex? =)

Ruglia

@Ruglia: Xbox Live kids? Check my previous posts...I only have a PS3 and will never get a 360. The reason why I don't think this is news worthy is because....well...someone randomly saying snake doesn't have a penis...is uh not news

runandgun

She did that in MGS1? :( I guess I should replay it again.

Megan Fox iz Hot ^-^ -ph15h

Also he's impotent. It's true.

gamadaya

Stop the fucking presses, Solid Snake has no cock. :O

Ignatius

@Leigh Alexander: Way to go Leigh. Naomi was crying because of what they did to his body altogether, not to the lower half alone. Look at how old his whole body looked (or at least, what you could see). You couldn't really tell how bad the situation was until he took off his shirt (and we can only assume also pants) and she saw his entire body.

Doesn't mean he lacks anything--just a 40-something man who's aging extremely prematurely and rapidly...seeing the physical manifestation of exactly what they put him through would make anyone sympathetic to the point of sadness.

TuxBobble

btw, gas prices aren't sky rocketing. it's the value of the dollar that's in free fall (thank you foreign policy, aid, and federal reserve), so you're seeing that particular symptom.

jkingsowner

@runandgun: Woah, XBox Live kids have already begun to invade Kotaku.

Ruglia

Oh god this is so fucking great. You played right into his hands.

Cartman86

@runandgun: Don't click what you don't consider news if you want to read Kotaku as a newspaper?

everybest

Hmmm.. Makes sence. One would have to have no penis to appear in a Smash Bro's game. ever wonder why Link and mario never get any????

CRUNK

So...SOLID HAZ NOO SNAKE?!.

Mike918

He probably does have the complete set, only technically it's not working or the liquid snake is rigged with FoxDie to stop it from working.

Frank

@everybest: I'm sorry dude(and the first guy), I forgot opinions aren't allowed in here.

runandgun

@runandgun: You're doing the equivalent of running into a shopping mall, eating at the food court, then complain that eating isn't considered "shopping" and then blabbing about free rights when people ask you why the fuck you're eating then.

everybest

Um, isn't there an easter egg in one of the earlier MGS's where he can hide in a locker and masturbate to nudie mags? I think the man has a schlong.

dirkxxdiggler

OMG it's still going... haha.
Truly diamond is the hardest metal known to man...

fuchikoma

It's because most women don't like to be spitting grey curly hairs all day.

VakeroRokero

Tears of joy?
@kneehighspy: Lighten up would ya!

UFO

I thought he was wearing pants in that scene.

M

@NeoAkira:

*stop = top

NeoAkira

@runandgun:

Whoa, learn some reading comprehension then. The stop of the site reads:

Kotaku

GOSSIP, news and leaks for obsessive gamers.

And he called you an Xbox live kid because of the childish tone and wording of your comment.

NeoAkira

@kneehighspy:
this has hit an all time low. Looks like the originator of this story is either 1)has too much time on his hands 2)infatuated himself with the character 3)believes drop dead fred is real along with other fictional characters & lastly 4)wants to start a debate over something preposterous. Next topic: MGS4 WEED FROM THE PATRIOTS; no wonder sunny tells him not to smoke in the airplane. it would incapacitate her & otacon from cracking into outer heaven. omgwtfbbqsauce?!

Null-Python

This is what happens when people have too much free time, but to each his own.

katboi

WTF. This post is even more worthless than the "Does Kojima have an XBox 360" story.

banana_ridah

A big fuck you to Fahey on some serious spoilage.

Seriously dude, what the fuck...

paintstevegreen

@NeoAkira: Just because it says "gossip" doesn't make the report any less pointless/stupid. That was my opinion of the story, and I believe the comments section is meant to express thoughs.

@everybest: actually its not like that all...but good try

runandgun

He has facial hair. Without the male reproductive organs, that would never develop.

Zunnoab

So he pisses through a hole generally where the female genitalia would be? Negative sir. He just doesn't have working balls. That's why in MGS 3 you can never get your Camo percentile to 100%. It's because his mass erect made him visible at all times.

phosphor112

@y2kenjination: Man you guys are too tense... A little fun article pockmarking the Kotaku pages every now and then are a nice welcome.

Shiroi Kaze

Why the fuck is Kotaku posting this kind of bullshit?

y2kenjination

Wow, 'whore' and 'bitch' in the same paragraph? Casual misogyny is way fun.

GogolGants

HOW DARE YOU SIR. I will defend Snake's honor through a Gentleman's duel.

Foxdie

I will say in a definitive manner that Solid Snake has a penis. The reason people grab crotches to check if it's him or not, is because he's likened to John Holmes.

Wait, Raiden is Link?

krushjudgement

How come in the movie Twins, Julius and Vincent could have kids at the end of the movie? They are pretty much Liquid and Solid but Waay cooler.

+ Watch video

Gunloc

Erm.. I'm sure he wasn't naked , he had those blue pants on. She was crying at how wrinkly and damages his skin was most probably.

Kingdom Oblivion

@runandgun: Yeah, I forgot the part where you stick your fingers in your ears and start humming your own tunes.

everybest

"Naomi is the biggest whore in the MG universe and there's nothing that makes a whore cry more than having a man show up with no penis in her house."

HAHAHAHAHAHA ROLFLAMO!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Jay

Of course he has a penis, where else did the testosterone come from in order to get enough balls to take out an army all by himself.

DinRyu

sure he has junk. it's just not prominent because he's of the caucasion persuasion. not being racist or anything so please don't think that but it's a scientific fact that white men for the most part have small penises.

BiggRapp313

You just have to press ctrl + A at the end of the article.

+ Watch video

pyteo

There is an advertising agency in Vienna that may have inside information on the issue.

burqueboy

[uk]

+ Watch video

Proof he has junk. He's just sterile. Besides Crecente and Ash, you Kotaku dudes are a joke. I seriously hope yall don't get paid for your "work" here.

Solidus_Snake

She was crying because of how absolutely beat up his body was. He was covered in bullet and knife scars, bruises, etc. That's what I took from it, at least.

xSanityx

>_> if Snake didn't had a penis, he would know that he is not able to reproduce (duh) not having Naomi telling him, plus he could have one and still not be able to reproduce since its in his genes

Paio

When the president checked for Raiden's penis in MGS2 he commented after with: "You're, a man?". Presumably it was just because Raiden looks like a girl and not because Snake has no junk. I hope Snake has junk...

rsam87

lmao

g13nn17

This is almost as crazy as people who saw Heroes and, even with all of the literary devices in play, still thought Sylar wasn't absorbing people's abilities until they flat out revealed it.

It's very clear, from the camera angle, that she was torn up by his old man body.

Although cockless Snake is a hilarious concept. I imagine Bill Murray popping up and saying "it's true, this man has no dick".

Kanik

@Null-Python:

heh heh, true! sunny does make 'nice'? eggs huh?

kneehighspy

on another point i guess kinda on topic, is it bad that when the cutscenes happen in mgs4, that someone always seems to zoom in on the bodies of the ladies? i just have a friend that does that and is feeling guilty. ;)

kneehighspy

@Weasel3689:

yeah you're right, but i ran out of funny things to say about this topic on the other sites i visit, so i guess i'm just at the bottom of the joke barrel now ;)

kneehighspy

I don't know whether Solid Snake has a penis or not, but he sure has BALLS.

bornonce

@y2kenjination: Word

IvoryMelotron

Yeah, okay Kotaku, so we're just pretending like everyone has played the game already or wants to know what/who is involved in the ending of the game?

Spoiler warnings please. I came this far without even knowing this chick was involved in the game, and now without so much a spoiler warning I'm being told that she's involved in the ending. Nice.

Methodology

Somepeople just have way too much fucking time on their hands...

Bricked

"Solidus Snake. The good guy all along and most badass character in the fucking MG universe."

FINALLY, someone said what i was thinking.Now when everybody hates me for saying it, i have a link i can point to

nameofperson

this is a stupid argument lol. A lot of the "facts" aren't quite accurate to even what Kojima said. And besides, Snake could still have a penis and not be able to reproduce. It's like the guy never heard of a vasectomy or being sterile in otherways :P maybe he doesn't have balls.

Viciouschan

This is the kind of post you expect on Destructoid, not Kotaku. =\

Pistolaero