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Gaming for Love: Finding Love in MMOs
Posted by Maggie Greene at 2:30 AM on July 14, 2008
There's a more or less constant trickle of mainstream articles discussing people 'finding love in all the wrong places' — but Tom Francis has a hilarious look at his attempts to play the dating game in MMOs. He tracks his progress in EVE Online, WoW and City of Heroes. The CoH section is my personal favourite, featuring Francis' trenchcoated character, 'Manley Power,' whose bio page read "Power's two favourite things are commitment and changing himself".:
Although some of the female gamers I know only play sexy characters, all of them object to luridly over-sexualised body shapes. This did not seem like the sort of physiology a real woman would choose.
Still, I invited her to do a mission with me. She accepted and suggested I take the lead. Manley Power approved. I didn't want to spring the obvious question too soon, as it'd be a shame to creep her out if my intuition was wrong. But after skewering most of the goons in the warehouse together, an easy way to broach it occurred: "So, from the sheer size of your character's breasts, I'm guessing you're male in real life?" At exactly the same time, a speech bubble appeared over her own head: "lets go out".
Wait, what? Is Manley Power that attractive that she'd instantly ask his player out? Or was she referring to some sort of cyber-relationship? God, maybe she was male and still wanted to hook up in-game. I should have known when I found myself warming to my creation: I'd made him too pretty. I'd created a manly monster. Hang on, she probably means the warehouse. We've finished, we can leave now. "Yeah, im male lol" Correction, he probably means the warehouse.
It's a clever and funny look at the intricacies of introductions in MMOs - and a hell of a lot more fun to read than an article on some guy who left his real-life wife for a Second Life vixen.
The Dating Game [ComputerAndVideoGames.com via Rock, Paper, Shotgun]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Fallible
Posted 2:58 AM 14/7/08
@rianfrost: That I did not know. You have to admit, that is kind of cool.
Fallible
EnigmaNemesis
Posted 2:58 AM 14/7/08
@karasu is my homeboy:
/agree
EnigmaNemesis
rianfrost
Posted 2:56 AM 14/7/08
@Fallible: funny thing is, if you meant the marriage of manticore and sister psyche, that was actually kind of real. the developers each take an ingame persona. Manticore is the character of sean fish, the former lead writer for the game, and he renewed his wedding vows with his real wife(who typed in for sister psyche) in an ingame rp(and subsequently pvp) event. it was kind of cool.
rianfrost
cxplorer
Posted 2:55 AM 14/7/08
People now a days are starting to meet their patners on the internet.I've met couple of girls online and still didn't find the right one yet.
Searching for a women offline is kinda hard.When you go talk to a girl,she like either scared or troubled.
cxplorer
karasu is my homeboy
Posted 2:53 AM 14/7/08
I never found - or looked - for love in MMOs, but I did make some good friends. A few people you play with so often that you just talk about real life, and it's pretty cool. I've exchanged screen names and talk to a couple people still from when I played CoH a few years ago.
karasu is my homeboy
Megan Fox iz Hot ^-^ -ph15h
Posted 2:52 AM 14/7/08
wait wait wait... -_- people leave their real physical, pleasureable/pleasure YOU wife that you can touch for somebody taht you think is sexy and just types very well? lol that's kinda funny. Online games shouldn't be a place for love :| It's just too odd. -_- although I am the person that doesn't eve like eHarmony or those sites to begin with.
@EnigmaNemesis:
@Megan Fox iz Hot ^-^ -ph15h:
@wild homes want to hop up and ride on Jesus!:
@Naia:
lmfao
Megan Fox iz Hot ^-^ -ph15h
Naia
Posted 2:44 AM 14/7/08
@EnigmaNemesis:
@Megan Fox iz Hot ^-^ -ph15h:
@wild homes want to hop up and ride on Jesus!:
Teehehe!
Naia
wild homes want to hop up and ride on Jesus!
Posted 2:43 AM 14/7/08
Hahaha.
wild homes want to hop up and ride on Jesus!
cxplorer
Posted 2:42 AM 14/7/08
I never was able to find a girlfriend in online games....yet.Ah well!
cxplorer
Megan Fox iz Hot ^-^ -ph15h
Posted 2:41 AM 14/7/08
@EnigmaNemesis: ROFL
Megan Fox iz Hot ^-^ -ph15h
EnigmaNemesis
Posted 2:38 AM 14/7/08
LOL
EnigmaNemesis
Aethyr
Posted 2:37 AM 14/7/08
I locked onto Ms Kasteen Hawkeye and set my ship to 'Approach'. This is how flirting will work in the future.
I legit cannot stop laughing.
Aethyr
Fallible
Posted 2:37 AM 14/7/08
There was a wedding in the European version of City of Heroes, two in fact -- albeit one was the union of two NPCs, it was beautiful, man.
Fallible
Tzero7
Posted 2:36 AM 14/7/08
Manley Power is just too awesome I name it would make me instantly ask him out.. heh I mean it would make me wanna do manley things like kill goons in a warehouse yeah thats what I meant.
Tzero7
ruba-dub-dub
Posted 2:33 AM 14/7/08
ah the love between 2 men moonlighting as 2 amazons...
ruba-dub-dub
Aerokii
Posted 3:21 AM 14/7/08
@Megan Fox iz Hot ^-^ -ph15h: While there are many good reasons to not look in an MMO for a relationship, I don't think it's always a terrible idea. It has its problems- such as what is normally a complete lack of proof of gender, and the inability to get physically close to someone you meet, unless you live close, or spent money to travel, or vice versa.
On the other hand, though, it's a way for people to meet others with similar interests- i.e., online gaming, roleplaying, and the like. So even if it's not a great idea, the reasons behind it are at least understandable.
Aerokii
Vorpal
Posted 3:15 AM 14/7/08
That was a clever and funny read.
Vorpal
Flurp
Posted 3:04 AM 14/7/08
This was a very good read!
Flurp
CaptainSquishy
Posted 3:44 AM 14/7/08
Me and my wife met in Guild Wars 2 years ago. We spend a year together talking online and skype and then I moved to her country and we've been going strong for a year now.
CaptainSquishy
ShinyNew
Posted 3:31 AM 14/7/08
If I could just find someone who could type in an MMO, I'd be happy.
ShinyNew
jenovasilver
Posted 4:04 AM 14/7/08
@CaptainSquishy:
Congrats!! I hope you happiness!
I think if you can actually find love no matter where then it's good all around. But the only thing I ask people is to be careful, they're some crazies out there on some online games and people who scam too.
One of my best friends was nearly attacked by a guy she met on CoH, I was there to protect her but man...scary.
jenovasilver
YesILikeGuys
Posted 4:01 AM 14/7/08
I've had boyfriends on xbl before. It seems pathetic but it's not too uncommon for a gay guy. It's hard for someone who is still in the closet to have those relationships in real life. But then eventually you see the limitations of online dating and then maybe come out a little bit more and find someone in real life (like I did).
YesILikeGuys
nihility
Posted 5:16 AM 14/7/08
Totally using "So, mine here often?" as a pickup line
nihility
Kanik
Posted 5:15 AM 14/7/08
City of Heroes, Virtue Server, the unofficial RP server...AKA cybersex central.
I restarted CoH about 5 months ago and decided to play on there, figured the people were nicer on RP servers. They were, but all them cat ladies were all about the sexy time.
At level 3 I had a level 50 catgirl stalking my character, healing me and helping me finish off mobs. Whenever I sad "thanks" she would reply "!!!!" then run hide behind a corner. I decided to play along and start a conversation. 10 minutes in, she sends me a tell with her myspace page and then she asks me if into cybering. Aye carumba!
Kanik
MelodyKitn
Posted 5:07 AM 14/7/08
@CaptainSquishy: Congrats, sounds almost like me and the husby.
I met my husby on FFXI, but at the time, we were just two friends in a linkshell (guild). It wasn't till after I had to stop playing to focus on work that we started keeping in touch via emails. Kind of like the pen pals of olden days, but on a more modern, immediate mail receiving levels.
He was in the UK, I was in the US, but after months of correspondence, we hit it off without realizing how right we were for each other back when we were in FFXI. Long story short, I moved to the UK, married him, and we've been playing WoW and whatever else we can get our hands on together while we wait for Warhammer or D3 to steal our attention and will hit our first year anni towards the end of this year.
It's not impossible to find someone online, it's just one of those things you have to have common sense with. Get to know each other in game and out, and don't make any commitments till you've met (in public, with friends even) and have gotten to spend time together in real life.
The days of a/s/l are outdated. I never trusted those guys who asked that as an opener and am glad I never did.
On a related note, that screenshot of the pink kilted hero is hilarious. And it's all about the Tauren for 'man'ly (or at least Troll for rogue).
MelodyKitn
Naia
Posted 5:49 AM 14/7/08
It's a rule of thumb for me, personally, to assume that every female character ingame is a dude, because I've just had my share of "gender surprises" way too much in my time of MMO's. Pictures don't prove anything, so it's a "no voice = dude". If anyone were to disclose their gender, the bottom line is that they do NOT lie about it. If they don't disclose such info, no biggie, I automatically assume 'guy'.
Then again, does it really matter what sex they are? I play with a person for who they are. I mean, it's nice to know what gender they really are when you really start to get to know somebody, because then you start to tell them stuff about your real life, and there are just some things I wouldn't talk about with a guy.
I've made a lot of friends from MMO's, and in any MMO, the social aspect and its community is very important to me.
When love comes, it can be anywhere. If it happens to be in an MMO, then I've no problems with that. The MMO just happens to be the 'telephone' to the two people, and it has allowed two different people to connect. I don't see it any different than say... pen pals from decades ago.
Naia
Chadders
Posted 7:07 AM 14/7/08
I keep waiting to find that one girl hand-picked by destiny in Kotaku comments.
I'll continue to wait.
;)
Chadders
Terrorsaur.
Posted 7:03 AM 14/7/08
@EnigmaNemesis: @Megan Fox iz Hot ^-^ -ph15h: @Naia: @Megan Fox iz Hot ^-^ -ph15h:
Lmaosauce.
Heh I remember back in the good ol runescape days some female character kept spamming in varrock "Fr33 S3x for Items!". She, or it, proceeded to follow me for a while...I asked her what she wanted, she said "Sleep with me". Awkward...what was more awkward was that I wanted to know how in the hell we would go about that and she said..."Just come next to the bed with me and we will click sleep at the same time and itll be like sex."
"ShunnedPKer is now offline."
Terrorsaur.
SmokeFemur
Posted 7:36 AM 14/7/08
OOPS!!! Wrong article :(
SmokeFemur
SmokeFemur
Posted 7:36 AM 14/7/08
I got kinda sad when Kain stabs raziael by mistake in the last soul reaver game, but that entire game is a tearjerker/emotional malestrom
& I actually got a little misty when (MGS4 "SPOILER", not a huge one but dont read it if you havent gotten past atleast half of the game)
When raiden grips snakes leg and says, "Dont leave me"
hahaha
SmokeFemur
zerokoolpsx
Posted 8:10 AM 14/7/08
@Naia: Agreed, unless they explicit say their gender, I assumed it's a guy.
Finding a serious relationship in an MMO or love, nah, it doesn't happen, mostly I'm there just to have fun, nothing serious.
zerokoolpsx
sweetie55
Posted 8:38 AM 14/7/08
@Kanik: Haha that is so true about the Virtue server in CoH. Had the same idea as you about RP servers and made a character. After being mauled by cat men I switched servers. :P
sweetie55
Geminosity
Posted 9:08 AM 14/7/08
I don't really play games to find a relationship so I tend to keep my gender a secret; it keeps people on their toes and after the initial fun of them pestering me to find out if I'm a boy or girl the uncertainty keeps things friendly.
I've had my fair share of stalkers and the like in the past XD
To be honest I don't think the people you meet online are the people you'd meet in real life. There's people I get on great with in real life who sorta bore or irk me online and vica versa. How much people change online varies from person to person but it's still an interesting thing to see =3
Geminosity
Kanik
Posted 9:23 AM 14/7/08
@sweetie55: Dammnit! You got cat men?! Lucky. ;_;
Kanik
PratzStrike
Posted 11:24 AM 14/7/08
ahahahahahah. Listening to the stuff about the CoX Virtue server makes me laugh, because it's so true. Not that everyone who plays is a MRP psycho, but the catgirls do run rampant in Pocket D.
PratzStrike
hikaizer
Posted 1:09 PM 14/7/08
MMOs are a bad place to look for love in general, but not a bad place to look for friends who, may, someday turn into a love.
*shrug*
hikaizer
nospacesinmyname
Posted 2:00 PM 14/7/08
I meet my girlfriend on MxO, when i joined a faction (guild) i was put on her ship(smaller guild tool, see matrix movies) hung around for a year as her first mate we meet IRL and hit it off, best thing to ever come out of the hell that is MxO now that I think about it...
SYNTAX SERVER FTW
nospacesinmyname
alucardremixed
Posted 3:08 PM 14/7/08
I always assumed those people that played as the amazon in D2 or fem charecters in WoW are dudes, i'll hate to be surprised
alucardremixed
akiko1874
Posted 3:36 PM 14/7/08
i actually met my boyfriend on EQ for PS2. 5 years ago this december. he played a female character so i actually thought he was a girl for a long time lol. i moved to california to be with him and we have been happy every since. i didnt start playing the game to meet someone but i guess when you spend so much time talking to someone every single day you do sorta get attached. so i at least got something out of EQ other than like 4 years wasted of my life. i have also had my fair share of stalkers which is why i hate saying that im female on wow now. i actually had a guy tell me he hoped i got my heart broken and i killed myself =/ lol
akiko1874
SubKamran
Posted 2:07 AM 15/7/08
I know people who have met good friends in WoW. I don't know anyone that met a lover online, but then I don't know a lot of people who play MMOs. I've met cool people online before too but I don't play enough to continually meet people.
SubKamran
MellowJade
Posted 3:24 AM 15/7/08
One of my friends on RO liked me once. I thought it was funny that every guy on RO plays a girl charatcter just to get free items.
I had online boyfriends myself, but not that they lasted long >.>'.
MellowJade