good shit. first day buy for me.

maraxusofk

Here I was, hoping that the Postal movie would do well and Vince Desi would have tons of money to buy a large enough quantity of blow to OD on.

MadLinx

I'll get this just for the 3-5 hours of humor then depression deep depression.

deathtastic

what an awful stupid game.

Alex_Mexico

I actually work in an adult novelty store with a viewing arcade. "Jizz Mopper" is not the preferred nomenclature. We prefer to be called "Semen Viscosity Technicians".

Johnny_Under

I'm not excited about the game very much. However I am highly anticipating the reaction Jack Thompson is gonna have when this comes out. It could be the finest and most hilarious moment of his career.

Owenr22

woops, nevermind. I looked it up and it is coming to 360, I am shocked!

CaveHonkey

....and probably the most awkward title ever.....

kingme

Oh God....It's Back...

Gantz: Your Trusted Friend in Science.

i actually liked postal 2. Remember at the E3 they showed that. Gary Coleman with a handful of hotties walking around, later in the day i was eating at one of the food places in main hall, and next to me was gary coleman. had some pretty funny convos with him about e3, games, and the bombshells he was walking with.

Best Feature: pissing on burning civilians

Shabat0ge

Please put this game on the 360! I have a gaming PC but never get around to playing on it. 360 would be a guaranteed playthrough. I know there is no way Microsoft would allow it though :(

CaveHonkey

Apparently, Running with Scissors has been having the game checked to see if it meets the Entertainment Software Rating Board's Mature rating standard. And according to Running with Scissors, it's okay to show a porn shop stacked with adult novelty goods, but it is not okay to use them as weapons. Doing so would make the game Adults Only. But sucking up soiled tissues in a vacuum cleaner and shooting white glop all over dancing girls is apparently totally kosher for Mature. Kooky!

Soo, I can shoot those...things at them, but I can't throw an adult magazine at them because it'd get an AO rating? How messed up is that?

Amazon_Chris

@KaneRobot: Exactly what I was thinking.

"Well if you think that's bad, check THIS out! I think I can see her intestines!"

CitizenTian

So in other words, the talentless hacks (Assuming there's more than Desi involved) at RWS are now outsourcing the Engine *and* the programming staff. "Co-developed", yeah, right.

Not a bad idea considering the quality of their past games.

Snokie

Stay classy, Postal.

Fugue

aw man.
3rd Person?

I will miss the first person days of Postal 2 :(

Kreepman

I am asking a question...This games looks like a beast @LittleBigPlaneteer: I was just wondering

Foreign-Contaminant

I'm still waiting for the Australian version, where your character suddenly works at a "custard store."

mwoody

"it's okay to show a porn shop stacked with adult novelty goods, but it is not okay to use them as weapons. Doing so would make the game Adults Only"

what about Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas...???

when you wander into the cop's locker room, there is a large purple dildo that you can use as a weapon, but that game is only rated Mature...

killest

@Zenrick: I hope like all hell you mean Postal, because if did that intentionally I'm gonna put an orange hole under your feet. You don't want to know where the blue one is.

ggodo

@Foreign-Contaminant:

Kotaku, why isn't this idiot banned yet?

LittleBigPlaneteer

I wonder if the PS3 can handle this game?

Foreign-Contaminant

@DaveKap: well, they are getting a console release.

bigbadron

Did I read that title right?

Maximus Paynicus

@Emiat: Yeah in one of the police stations

hitokirimaru

@Emiat: i was just about to bring this up. odd indeed.

still looking forward to this game.

bigbadron

I was kinda hoping they were shooting for an AO rating. Now that I know they are limiting themselves, I'm less excited.

DaveKap

I think I just threw up a little bit. Used to think portal was kinda funny, now it's pretty grody.

Zenrick

That title made me feel dirty

LittleBigPlaneteer

Jizz mopper?? My dream job!

Sounds insane.

DanteIX

"The jizz-mopper's job is to clean up the booths afterward, because practically everybody shoots a load against the window, and I don't know if you know or not, but cum leaves streaks if you don't clean it right away."

KaneRobot

The difference between Games ratings and Movie ratings is that in a movie, you watch something happen, in the game, you are in control of the character and it is an extension of you doing it...

At least thats what I understand the hullabaloo to be all about.

rljohn

But didn't GTA:SA have a giant purple dildo as a melee weapon and that didn't get a AO rating till around the hot coffee incident kicked off.

Emiat

Oh man, I would've thought this game was hilarious when I was 13.

Nobuyuki

@Heliophage: Yes, come to think of it, yes there are. but not nearly as common as the kind for sex.

ggodo

Shooting semen on people is M? Mmmmmmmkay.

@dunetiger reads kotaku, seems pleased:

There are NC-17 ratings for violence. Disturbing and detailed violence.

Heliophage

@dunetiger reads kotaku, seems pleased: I don't care, I just find this series disappointing in the way that it has the player do what is commonly considered offensive for the sole sake of offending people. Don't get me wrong, offending people's fun, I guess it's just more honorable to do to their face.

ggodo

M should be at the standard of R or 18A for movies, it doesn't make much sense to be anything else.

Pattypie

Why is the ESRB so fucking stupid?

Terance : Soul Calibur :: Leigh : MGS

Maybe AO is like NC-17 and you only get that for graphic depictions of sex. I think.

dunetiger reads kotaku, seems pleased

Semen launcher. Awesome.

sir_carrot

@Interstella5555:

Dildo = Depiction of a penis.
Penis = AO

It makes perfect sense, actually.

If they were to put The Fist in the game, I'm sure it would be a different story. Clubbing people with those is fun, too.

Johnny_Under

Right, because throwing DILDOS as someone would be too much. Yup, that's where you crossed the line....

Interstella5555

... PC for better graphics of... used tissues... or 360 to show off accomplishments of using ... said tissues.

D:

Ken

For some reason I'm reminded of this: [kotaku.com]

Pezdispenser

Censorship and rating boards... They don't function as you'd expect (not with any sort of Earth logic at least)... Beyond comprehension, to be sure.

art_zombie

Laughing my fucking ass off! Going around and giving uptight bitches facials sounds terrific to me.

GameCasa

Go ahead and release an M-rated version and I might check it out if reviews are good, but release an AO "Director's Cut" version and I'll definitely buy it.

Absent Blue

@Foreign-Contaminant: Backpedal much? One look at your profile brings into question the validity of your statement. In other words: LEAVE TROLL!

smuckers is good

Awwww skeet skeet, skeet skeet, skeet skeet...I hope this sure-to-be masterpiece cums onto the 360 soon.

..I had to do it.

Jonaconda

Postal 2 was like Morrowind in a trailer park. Loved it!

(Ok maybe not morrowind, but you could roam free and have tons of craziness happen or follow the story and see even crazier shit)

expansionsss

@Emiat: Oh my bad...wasn't reading the comment section. Dildo sword away!

NeVeRMoRe666

Does nobody remember the Dildo sword from GTA San Andreas or was that Vice City...?

NeVeRMoRe666

@Emiat:
That's because GTA SA was guaranteed to sell 10 million + copies.

I really hate that stores refuse to carry AO rated games. If they are so worried about the kiddies getting to them, then why the hell do they sell kids M rated games? And if that isn't a problem, then why not stock AO games? No part of this censorship makes sense.

@dunetiger reads kotaku, seems pleased:
I love your name dune. Did you make that for today?

gamadaya

@Johnny_Under: (laughs) guess having a stripper for a roommate made me forget....Guess it's alright, do I really need to be shooting people with dildos?

Interstella5555

@Interstella5555:

Because sex is EVIL and WRONG.

Johnny_Under

Seriously how old are the people at Running With Scissors, twelve?

Oyn

@Johnny_Under: I'm understandably baffled at the rating priorities in this country...I just don't understand how that warrent's an AO. How is me seeing a penis (hell, I have one, I see it every day) worse than me putting a signpost through someone's head? Bizarre.

Interstella5555

For a second there i thought i was reading Fleshbot.

MURDERFACE

"Currently, the plan is to release the game first in Russia on the PC sometime next year and then in North America."

Sounds like a quality title to me.

NameYourCharacter

Ratings are a load of crap. Stores should sell AO games, just don't display them on posters outside the store.

FLYmeatwad

@Sihaya: Agreed.

Most of the gaming community strives to break away from the norm, yet still shows their immaturity and vulnerability to dumb humor. It's senseless games like this that help the media portray us as closet teenagers. Introducing stuff as gags and just to get attention, isn't a way to sell games. It's a way to show that they haven't grown up. Controversy sells and so does idiocracy. Case in point? Manhunt 2 and the first two Postals. Funny... most of the people that are going to buy this game are probably under 17.

FP ph15h

@Sihaya: This series was the most cited example of horrible disgusting badness in games. Trust me, I did a report on the subject of violence in gaming for my high school. Historically, Postal and Doom were the heavy hitters for angry people. Now it looks like RWS wants to take the title back from GTA and Halo.

ggodo

and the game industry and gamers wonder why they are looked down upon and treated like man teens and idiots....games like these are the reason why. I'm so disgusted.

Sihaya

@FLYmeatwad:

It's not stores so much, but the console makers. Both Nintendo and Sony have openly expressed that they will not allow any AO rated titles to be sold for their systems, and I'm relatively certain Microsoft has the same policy.

Which leaves the PC. AO titles can be purchased through companies that self-publish, but there aren't many, if any. I don't even think translated eroge go through ESRB ratings, I think they just put an "intended for 18+" sticker on the front.

So, if there ever is a Postal 3 that would be too racy to get an M rating, odds are that RWS would make it an online-only exclusive title for the PC. However, since its sales would be dramatically lower than anything they could ship to stores or for consoles, odds are that they wouldn't even make an AO version in the first place.

Johnny_Under

I've always wanted to launch jizz out of a vacuum cleaner at soccer moms in a video game, now I can. Thank you Running With Scissors, for making this dream possible.

SG_Mahonay

Postal 3: An experiment in standing as close to the line between M and AO without crossing over into the AO side.

Zero_Beat

Stay classy, San Diego.

Insomnia Bob

@SG_Mahonay:

If they keep pissing on people and domino-effect vomiting in the game, this might just be the best video game ever released.

Johnny_Under

@Foreign-Contaminant: <--Definitely a PS3 Hater

eaglesphily1

Game ratings could not be more far off as to whats actually acceptable for teens to see in today's society (America at least...). I hate the ESRB... Every teen knows wat a dildo is...so why is using them as a weapon considered adult only? Heck, most 12 years know wat it is too..

Pbombas

Looks like she's shaping up to be a damn classy game.

Bravo, gentlemen.

Defenestrated

They need a cameo from the "Toxic Avenger" in this series, or something out of Troma films.

Pornosaur

@ RLJohn
'The difference between Games ratings and Movie ratings is that in a movie, you watch something happen, in the game, you are in control of the character and it is an extension of you doing it...

At least thats what I understand the hullabaloo to be all about.
'

yeah thats the argument. desite the fact that the ppl supporting this view are the only ones who cant distinguish fantasy and reality. (typically old out of touch adults and politicians)

Studies have consistently shown kids as young as 5 and 6 clearly know one is a game and one is reality. I just dont agree with it one little bit.

I mean... i had that argument thrown at me many times, n i just said , hey if that were true then:

a) why dont i scream in pain when i get hit with 10 bullets. And if injured in real life why dont i load up a game and go pick up a health pack to heal my real life self?

because i FUNDAMENTALLY REALISE in my brain that it isnt real. I KNOW its a game not reality.

Therefore if i KNOW it isnt real...

b) the arguement that its 'an extension of you doing it...
'( e.g. killing an NPC is the same as me acting out killing somebody in real life ) is fundamentally flawed.

If i KNOW it isnt real.. then what im consciously 'acting out' is killing a computer generated image representing a person, Im not acting out ' killing an actual person'.

Thats where this logic is flawed. It likes to pretend that me killing somebody is me acting out killing 'a real human being'. As ive just shown, im well aware from the word go that these are not real biological flesh abd blood human beings.. so how can i be acting that out?

i know that im killing computer generated images. I have no remorse, because i havent ijured anyone. They are pixels. they have no feelings, no brain, no emotions, no family, no friends. I know all that when i 'kill' them.

I dont feel sorry for the ghosts in pac man when i eat them. why? because i KNOW they arent real creatures. Just because they now look more like humans visually nowadays doesnt make things any different.

If i get a cardboard cutout of a person in real life, would i feel bad if i 'killed' it? no.. because it isnt a person. And at no point did i believe it was a person. So at no point did i show a desire to kill a biological human being.

Its only the out of touch archaic people who cant distinguish a game world from reality, that could possibly ever believe this nonsense!

If what they said was true then we need to ban kids games like cowboys and indians, cops and robbers etc becase its the kid acting out his real desire to shoot somebody. yeah..... ok... sure it is

NovaBlack

@Johnny_Under: So, you measure out the resistance of the spooge drip before wiping it away? Do you keep charts on the relative viscosity of different customers' leavings? lol

masterdingo

Badger-saw?

Best. Melee weapon. Ever.

Sabre_Justice: Okay, no more long name.

@NovaBlack: Longest Dildo related post EVER...

NeVeRMoRe666

Ahhh...a question. Why is a game in 2008 using an engine from 2003? Source is awesome and all, but why would anyone chose to make a brand new game from it?

Mascott

Sorry, but I feel compelled to pass along this...

[jizzmoppa.com]

... NSFW, obviously. And yes, it's a video game. One that I actually made a number of years ago!

FortNinety

I want to see a Jack Thompson cameo.

akruble

Let's not forget that KILLING hundreds of people in the most perverse way imaginable is also completely acceptable. Unless you don't do it with dirty, dirty dildos.

lumpi

Haha, Source engine.

man in gauze is king ramses II, silly.

@CaveHonkey:
I wonder what the achievements on the 360 would be...

***Achievement Unlocked*** Showered soccer moms with 100 gallons of gloop!

CapnSpank

the running with scissors guys are so lovely dudes :D

infi

Simple, sell the M version in stores, then have the AO patch available for download for a small fee.

Or free. STICK IT TO THE MAN.

Dave Silva

Wow. They wrote their design documents by finding the kid sleeping in the back of a grade 7 classroom and handing him a mad libs sheet.

I wonder if the game itself will be good this time, or just another rougher-than-stucco bang-up with things crammed in to see if they can get PR from the easily morally outraged? I have to say the screenshot looks a lot less bargain basement than Postal 2.

fuchikoma

@Johnny_Under: Johnny, this isn't a guy who built the railroads here. This is a guy...
...
Johnny, he jacked on my rug!

amazinglarry

Oh, you commenters... shouldn't you all know by know that killing is ok, but sex isn't! sheesh!

kwant

i think we need a new rating system, hear me out. this game will get an M for Mature rating, which doesn't make sense... the rating should be I for Immature game with lots of unnecessary sexual content and innuendo and is just plain stupid.

i know its kinda long, but its really the only accurate rating out there!

pandafresh

I want a company to find the funding and balls to mass market an AO game already.

The Amazing Exploding-Man

GTA san andreas you could use a dildo as a weapon and that wasn't adults only. I say games need more dildo shooting anyway.

McCrazy1881

If the game keeps up with it's previous version, I'll play it just for some laughs...

Bokusatsu_Tenshi

@Mascott: *Points at Left 4 Dead*

It's not really an engine from 2003 though. It's had so many things changed. It's very scalable, easy to work with, comes with premade developer tools, and presumably you get some support from Valve, too.

Poo_and_Wee

Man they gotta make an Adults Only game like this some day.

Nirotu

@Terance : Soul Calibur :: Leigh : MGS:

Because ESRB is a bunch of administrative crap that has never really played a game seriously and probably doesn't even view gaming as an art form. Their only job is to make sure little children/preteens/teens/family pets don't see any side boob.

drhojo