Making Friends At The Japanese Police Station
To: Crecente
From: Bashcraft
RE: Don't Leave Us Hanging
Tonight's Night Note is kinda long, so I put it after the jump.
What you missed last night
What Are The Top Selling Games Of 2008 So Far?
Fallout 3 Refused Classification In Australia
Patapon 2 Announced, Let's Look At It
Mega Man 9: Cheap As $US 10 Chips
Cliff Bleszinski Wants Fewer Buttons
This Wii Hard Drive Is So Damn Phony (And Funny)
Does This Banjo Kazooie Video Confirm An Xbox 360 Motion Controller?
This morning was spent in a police station. An old, dirty Osaka police station where everyone smokes — even, no especially the cops. Late last week, white paint was splattered all over my car. No clue who did it, so I called the police, who were very helpful and said I need to get the car fixed or repainted or whatever before they can start investigation. Turns out that the paint thankfully came off in the carwash, so I was only out like ten bucks. Still I told the officer that I'd bring my receipt to finish my paperwork, I headed over to the station earlier today.
And so I was talking to an officer, and of course cops kept bringing in dudes that had been tethered and cuffed into the station to talk to them about who-knows-what. There was a guy behind me - not a cop - just some guy in workman's clothes, speaking really rough Japanese to another officer. And that officer was speaking rough Japanese back at him. This guy looked late 30s and tough — though, he was also there just to file a complaint about something, I didn't catch what. The guy would break into scary Japanese, telling the cop he was wasting his time or to hurry up or whatever. Seemed like a real arsehole.
I was told to wait and sit on a bench in the hallway while they finished up the paperwork. That tough guy sat down next to me and started cussing to himself and cursing the police and whatnot. Then he turned to me and asked in broken English:
"What's your name?"
"Brian."
"Plain?"
"Brian."
(Points to himself, proud) "Kenji."
Kinda left the conversation at that, and the guy smiled at me. He had no teeth. Then the guy went off and started screaming at the cops again, and I went over to the counter and finished signing the paperwork and just as I was leaving, I passed tough guy Kenji, who turned and said to me:
"Bye bye Kenji. See you!"
Dude even waved.
View: AU Comments (0) | US Comments (71 comments)
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The guy would break into scary Japanese
I wish I knew how to speak some scary Japanese
PresDNA
This was a great story. Too bad I was too late to comment on it.
Bye bye Kenji!
Billkwando
@Evil Tortie's Mom: ah, crap. stoopid server. I even triple checked, yet it double posted!
Evil Tortie's Mom
Did the first cop at least take photos before telling you to completely destroy all the evidence? Some "investigation".
Kenji the Polite Osaka Toughguy should get his own anime.
Evil Tortie's Mom
@geekgrrl: My thought exactly.
"We'll investigate AFTER all the evidence is completely destroyed."
Did they at least take pictures when the cop first came out?
But Kenji cracks me up. A polite tough guy.
Evil Tortie's Mom
That's a good story. It's nice to know that someone having a difficult day (in this case with the police) can still be polite to others.
gr8asianman
@DavidFoundation: ........*sigh*
shaunomacx
@DavidFoundation:
Did you really think it was okay to type that?
gifurocks
@geekgrrl: The cop already looked at the car and took notes -- so they had record of it happening. And the cop that initially came to my house pointed out that it had been splattered from behind, prolly from someone standing in the parking lot behind my apartment building's parking lot. They needed to know how much it would cost to fix it.
@Chilly Hollow: I do always try to be polite. :)
Brian Ashcraft
About 90% of the cars I see in Japan are white anyway... Seems odd to me...
Northernsky
"There was a guy behind me, not a copy ..."
Good thing. Otherwise you would be in a horror movie.
trachten
You sure it wasn't:
Bye Bye! Kenji see you!
Just wondering ;)
Archmagnus
@ZeeBeeEss: Heheheheheheheheh. Classic.
PlayerX
@eoaa: Sometimes you gotta be a tough guy to talk to a tough guy, probably.
@ariete: Don't let that bother you. At the end of the day, you still know who you are, right? Who needs rotten apples, eh?
@Denver_80203: Day and Night Notes are just a way for the editors to communicate with each other, since most of them don't live in the same town, let alone country. As a bonus, for Kommenters who kare, we get to read about it. If you don't like it, there's always plenty of delicious news elsewhere on the site.
PlayerX
Glad to see you make friends wherever you go.
Chilly Hollow
The cops here sometimes confuse the hell out of me(tokyo) They stop any gaijin on a bike(I dont ride bikes, so I dont ever get stopped) and harrass people nonstop. However, then one day a few months ago I had a pair knock on my door for "gaijin registration". For some reason, they were goin door to door in apartments known for gaijin(foreigners) and registering us. At first I found this extremely racist, but after a 30min conversation with the police officer I can say I was quite happy. They were some of the nicest people ive ever met.(mind you ive never had any troubles with any police myself here in nakano) Point is, you hear a lot of horror stories about cops, but most of them are far overblown. And yes, I know this has nothing to do with topic, just felt like sharing that cops here are actualy really good. I feel bad for the crap they get.
RuneX21
@Lainface: It sounds like they wanted to get the receipt for the repair costs, so that they could evaluate the 'damages' involved. Remember that the amount of damages involved effects how the crime is classified- petty larceny vs. grand larceny, etc.
I Think We're Property
I blame hooligans.
AndrewG009
Thats kinda bad, hope he's not a shady guy, or cops might think your an accomplice to something.
adragonfang18
was this a spinoff to one of the scenes in Oldboy??? the guy whose teeth were taken out by clawhammer?
shaunomacx
@VishusBurn: .....
..........
...
you realize that the japanese have been suppressing their desire to resurge as a military power for years now. a lot of the manga and anime you watch/read have themes that strongly represent how the japanese felt about losing in ww2 and getting bombed horribly.
for example, many many manga have some character who joins the good guys after getting their ass kicked. this character is metaphorically japan.
another example is the scrappy screw-up archetype that eventually becomes super strong. this character is also japan.
thejakeman: visit my site!
When I read the part when Kenji pointed at himself and told you his name and smiled a toothless grin, my image of him suddenly morphed into a street fighter illustration. He was wearing a karate gi with frayed shoulder holes...He was a combo of a huge mean Ryu and Balrog (for toothiness)... it basically looked like a page out of Udon's Street Fighter comics...
Maybe I imagined this because a lack of interaction with Japan's Japanese, or because of my cartoon brain, or simply because I just watched the Tatsunoko v Capcom trailer... I'd like to think it's a combo of the last two. Trailer got me excited for more SF, so I end up seeing things through that lens.
drivebyinsult
@Lainface:
totally
hrabbit
@savemeaquaman: completely awesome!
Bash, i find their method of investigation strange. wouldn't they want to investigate while the paint is still on the car, instead of removing the evidence first?
geekgrrl
Great story, Mr. Ashcraft. Did they catch those yaro-?
Angryrider
He said bye Kenji, instead of Brian, weird guy. Tough looking guy with no teeth, must have tons of friends.
zerokoolpsx
Why would you have to repaint your car for them to start investigating? I don't get that...
Your adventures in Japan just make the country all the more alluring.
Lainface
@Megan Fox iz Hot ^-^ -ph15h:
Nah, that stuffs designed to wash out. Sure it's tricky sometimes but on a glossy surface like a car it'd blast right off under a pressure washer.
Odin
Reminds me of my venture in Tokyo with a friend. We had used Google to look up what part of Tokyo Square Enix was located in but just ended up getting lost and never finding the place. I had the great idea of asking a Cop just for directions to the address.
The Police Officer recognized the companies name and started talking to us in Broken English about how he used to play Dragon Quest all the time when he was younger.
Well, the Officer, either being really friendly or bored without any work, called up Square Enix himself and got all of their information for us, their phone number and gave us the hours of work.
I'm truly impressed because I know if I was in my home NYC asking a cop for where the Nintendo Store is located, well I don't think he'd be making any phone calls.
savemeaquaman
Haha.. Thank you so much! I'm having a shit day at work and this cheered me up. At times like this I wish I was Ryu Hazuki. I'd go to Japan and say "Excuse me, do you know Kenji? He's a big man with no teeth and speaks broken english..." to every single person I see :D
manicfoot
Topic: RE: Don't leave us hanging
But we got left hanging again, no one noticed? ;)
In regards to Japanese police they're just like American police - their attitudes run the gamut - but those white gloves they wear always throw you off! :) I never had much trouble with the police in Japan. They were helpful to me - except the old ones. They were grumpy.
@ariete: What level of school are you in? I've found that bullying in grade school in Japan occurs more often than in America and is often more intense - but it seems normal to Japanese people. For example, when my girlfriend was younger she could not wear the then popular "loose schoolgirl socks" when she was a 7th grader because the older 8th/9th grade girls wouldn't let anyone else wear them - they had a "monopoly" on it so to speak. I mean, if it were me I'd just wear the damn things, but to her it seemed a normal thing and she had to wait. (Of course that's not an example of intense bullying, just something I couldn't believe kids put up with).
Antioch18
Does this mean we can call you Kenji from now on?
StickyPurpleCat
Customers and clients are always the KING in Asia. We are allowed to scream and barter prices. Now if the States only followed that code.
PsycheE
Shame on me !
I don,t know what,s the meaning of Kenji! :'(
pardon my ignorance!
dmfamzo
I love Japanese people. Even the roughest and toughest looking guys still want to practice a little English whenever they get a chance. Stuff like that always threw me off. Like, I'd be sitting in a seedy bar, and some drunk construction worker type would come sit down and start trying to chat me up in English. Good times.
PissedPS3Fan
The paint was probably someone from Gaf...
TheBrain76
@Denver_80203: Pretty much all of the Night Notes are like this, Denver. 90% of them have little to nothing to do with gaming, but if you stick around on the site long enough, you come to understand that it's as much a blog as it is a news site. Part of the whole appeal of Kotaku is that you can get up-to-date information mixed with the thoughts and comments of the staff as well as insight into the staff's lives, as well. Makes you feel a lot closer to them and the site, and it's more like you're hearing the news from a trusted friend rather than from some corporate juggernaut. And just the same as that trusted friend, you don't always talk about NOTHING but games. Also, I don't think people really get ban-hammered for being grossly off-topic, unless they do so in an offensive way. And even if they do, this is completely "on-topic", seeing as the topic is "night note".
ANYWAY...I've lived in Japan for about 2 years now, too, so I can feel for you, Brian. Only time I've been to a police station is when I joined a friend to log the theft of his bicycle, and they were pretty reasonable and comprehensive. I haven't seen anybody here mouth off to the police, hooligan or otherwise, but where I live is definitely considered the country-side when you compare it to Oosaka.
It's also pretty surprising that somebody actually went through the trouble and risk in vandalizing your car in what could be considered a racist crime. Not that it would be regarded in the same way a "hate crime" would be handled in the States, but even most strong right-wingers I meet have never seemed capable of actually making outright attacks on foreigners or their property...
FINAL NOTE: As an English teacher, I'm totally proud of Kenji. Way to use that English in a real-world situation, buddy! Even if you just said farewell to yourself.
DefenderShip
That sounds like the scene from Ferris Bueller where Ferris' sister meets Charlie Sheen in the police station...only with less teeth and sex appeal.
ZeeBeeEss
@Jas49:
Oh also, if you have him over for dinner be sure to serve soup.
A fella with no teeth, well you know.
Be sure to let us know how that dinner goes!
Jas49
@SSJ4_Macd:
Not at all. There are also rough women with no teeth.
phicaluk
What does this have to do with the site? I mean, people get ban hammered for off topic posts and then you see stories like this? It's not a bad story, not offensive or even annoying but, every now and then there are these random submissions that throw me for a loop.
Denver_80203
I think i may have met kenji when i was staying in Osaka around Shin-imamiya Station.
Ett
Great story. These Japanese tough guys are usually softened by an invite to some beers and smokes. :)
Robotube
That is awesome.
hehehhehe
Kreee! (A 'kree' of joy, that was.) I love 'Bashcraft in Japan'-pieces! Even the short ones.
Protector one
Oh Brian, Witz was just happy to be there.
(just kidding Witz!)
Erwin
ze lack of teeth = crazyness
Otacon85
@ocha: Come to scotland its about the only type of friends you can make!
SSJ4_Macd
Was he by any chance... Kenji Ito? Kidding...
-_- atleast your car wasn't riddled with paintball paint. That takes even longer to wash out.
Megan Fox iz Hot ^-^ -ph15h
That is so random.
Rough dudes with no teeth are the kinda special friends I seek to avoid.
ocha
I've not had the pleasure of hanging out at a Japanese police station but I did have to speak to the cops when my digital camera was stolen at the Nagasaki Peace Park of all places. That was back in 2002 during the World Cup. I remember having to tell them that it was silver-colored two or three times. There's something about dealing with the authorities that really bring your foreign language skills into sharp focus.
KanjiGear
Wow, gotta love the people you see in police stations. I saw That-One-Goth from my high school at a police station once.
She didn't even say hi.
ggodo
@ariete: The Japanese are usually kind to most people they don't know. It's the whole in-group/out-group dichotomy.
KanjiGear
I can see it now, Kenji the Kotaku guest poster. I'd like to see his views on games lol
NightMystic
Sounds like Kenji was happy to be putting his English to use. Good thing he didn't seem to know any swear words.
MSUSteve
I wonder why japanese are usually kind to foreigners they dont know. My classmates were so nice the first two months. Now, three semesters later, most of them talk crap about me behind my back. :(
ariete
Is white paint a racist thing? Like Gaigin go home or whatever, or was that just coincidence. (Also what color is your car?)
greeble
My mother-in-law had two gallon buckets of two separate colors of off-white paint dumped on her 1995 forest green limited edition Camero. They paid special attention to make sure to get it in the cracks of the sunroof and the front defroster vents.
Cost quite a bit to get that fixed. Turned out, her car looked a little like some other guy's car in town, and his pissed off lady friend thought he was cheating on her. Fun stuff.
PapaBear434
Wow! I Hope for you that he didn't invite himself for diner at your house tonight!
Melsir
Creepy.
Omnimon
@Bob6k:
My thoughts exactly.
VishusBurn
"Kenji jr" is a nice name for micro-Bash. But you got that covered already... guess you meet the nicest/wierdes people in police stations a bit all over the world, eh? (Don't ask...)
Shiryu
Wow I have a really bad perspective. Until today I thought all Japanese people are friendly, after the 1940's.
Schoolimangooli the doogie mag goosie!
Making new friends is good.
Should have him over for dinner.
Jas49
WTF? That just doesn't make sense, even when lost in translation.
Herabec
hmm... interesting story, you can add that to your list of life expereinces I guess... as people like to say, 'character building'
It really does facinate me how the japanese police can turn from being some of the most intimidating people in the world to really really nice people at the flick of the finger. Keeps you on the right side of the law I guess. I personally hate it.
eoaa
Creepy... I'm going to have to ask you not to make any more friends, mmkay?
Elderwulf
those damn jap kids are at it again! lol
DavidFoundation
Sounds like a scene from a quentin tarantino film
Bob6k
Bye bye Kenji!
Aye Mak Sicur
Hahaha... awesome story. BTW, whats your take on the paint throwing incident? Pissed off kids perhaps? Maybe just a random prank? Oh, and just to be an asshole...
Pics, or it didnt happen.
iamcool388