Just look at this article's title. Basically, as soon as you write the first part ("Brett Ratner's..."), the last part ("...sounds crappy")is practically a tautology.

EmpressInYellow

@Kevin Flynn: Rofl. This.

KEFIOX

@Kevin Flynn: ... yes.

Best analogy ever.

Jayl3w

"I would love to do a Guitar Hero movie, if Activision would ever let me."

Let him? They'd probably beg him, since they seem to be merching their franchise straight to hell anyway.

If he made a movie though, I'd hope he doesn't just make it bad, I want him to dig in deep and make it an absolute abomination. Like a couple of car chase scenes, a Columbian drug cartel, something.

Chilibob

God. What an idiot.

bysty

It's not the worst movie concept I've ever heard of. Bad, yes, but no worse than most movies made in the 80s.

Balius

No, Ratner. No. Die in a fire.

Altersparck

Holy shit. That is the most retarded idea I have EVER heard of!!!

finder39

His Xmen movie really shouldn't be his introduction card... no really, it shouldn't, not if he wants to keep making movies at least.

Krumm

Picture this:you're watching tv when a commercial for this movie comes on with some random kid on a stage playing with a plastic guitar.
*News flash! Due to the announcement of the guitar hero movie, sales of games of the popular franchise have dropped to zero over night

NESTeen

Of course Ratner doesn't set out to make a bad movie.

He's just incapable of making a good one.

mind in rewind

How the hell do you make a guitar hero movie? Some guy playing GH for 100something minutes?

AngelMayLaugh

I sincerely hope that this happens, only because it would be like watching a 90-minute train wreck!

And hey- at least he's not dying to make an Ico movie, right?

Crosswayboy

We, as a society, need to pass a law that makes the hunting of Brett Ratner a legal and professional sport. First man to kill him wins the gratitude of the world and the entirety of the budget allocated to his next theatrical abortion.

He's far more of a scourge than Uwe Boll, since his turds actually get watched by millions of dullards.

andregalan

"Not that i would make a bad movie."???? Thats like if Darth Vader would say "Nah I dont kill Jedi. Shit just happens."

Kevin Flynn

Holy shit. I'm surprised this guy isn't a co-writer for Disaster Movie.

He must have some seriously demented pics of some hollywood bigwigs doing some nasty stuff to be allowed to continue making drivel.

boringjob2

The Wizard 2? Haha In this movie they show Guitar Hero Metalhead edition! woot! Haha

Orionsaint

Please, you wrecked the X-men franchise. So yeah, why not, who gives a crap about Guitar Hero anyway.
"OOOH LOOKIE ME! A FAKE GUITAR!! WEEE IM A R0CKSTARZzZ!!!1"

Prathik

I wish he would get punched in the face right about...............NOW!

Xuchilbara

I think he doesnt have an oscar because he made X-men: Last Stand....

neednorespect

Done before?

Over and over and over.

.endejas.

Sounds like it'd pretty much suck.

NESTeen

I love how even the guy standing behind Ratner in that pic is astounded by how stupid he is.

Mudron

@Kevin Flynn: This is probably one of the funniest things I have ever read online. You should go pro.

It's unfair for you to post here where we amateurs struggle to come up with something witty.

boringjob2

@KeroseneClimax: That's not a gross generalization. That is exactly specifically what the game is.

dowingba

@Thorax:
what about the oh-so anticipated pac-man movie?? XD

NESTeen

I think this is just as good as a film about a Panda who learns Kung Fu.

Or a Male Cow with UDDERS that fights to protect a farm.

Or a Robot-Johnny-5 ripoff that wanders into a futuristic world with other more advanced robots.

Have I made my point? Kid movies suck. Guitar Hero would be a kid movie.

blueshoals

@Prathik: Wrecked the X-Men film franchise? Really? Care to enlighten us on how? It gets boring to see people jump on the hate train without giving the slightest reason why.

@Topic: How would you make a Guitar Hero movie? It's a game about pressing color coded buttons on a plastic guitar in conjunction with matching color coded notes sliding downward on a digital fretboard while music is playing. A gross generalization? Yes, but that's what the game is pretty much all about.

Also, I don't know if Ratner has noticed, but there are characters in Guitar Hero, and none of them are kids to my knowledge. Not only is his plot idea clichéd, but already feels like a detraction of what the games are about.

KeroseneClimax

I think Brett Ratner needs to shut the fuck up

Someone revoke his movie making privileges until he apologizes for X-Men 3 and Rush Hour 3.

RageTowers

So it's The Wizard but with Guitar Hero? Nice work Ratner! Still, could be worse, it could be Michael Bay.

photoboy

@L33Td00d: EDIT: I meant to say Im surprised activision isn't for this. Also on a side note wtf ever happend to the sims movie? hopefully someone realised how effing stupid that idea was.

L33Td00d

@SuperStingray: No novelization, a graphic novel! Exploring the mystical origin of the sandvich! VALVE MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Weasel3689

@Orionsaint: Ah beat me to it

Weasel3689

Sounds like The Wizard and that worked out for nintendo.

Just make sure there is a line that reads "I love Guitar Hero: World Tour, It's so bad"

Weasel3689

Guitar Hero movie? That's like a novelization of Team Fortress 2.

SuperStingray

He still needs to get on Tetris: The Movie.

Thorax

I'm really surprised that Activision is all for this. They seem to be hellbent on running thier most popular franchises into the ground. Either them or neversoft, who actually for once seem to be trying to innovate. Sadly as a day one GH fan they kind of already slaughtered the series with GH3, but who knows maybe they'll kill it with world tour(hopes are not high).

L33Td00d

Wow,

SG_Mahonay

Uwe Boll suddenly looks like a great director!

The state of video game movies nowadays...

Bokusatsu_Tenshi

I am a huge movie buff and I'm completely obsessed with Guitar Hero.

That being said, I'll hunt down and shoot whoever makes this movie.

dowingba

This is truly a new low. words cannot express the audacity displayed. Gamers and moviegoers should be even more insulted that the entertainment industry thinks we are all are moronic douchebags.

Xtreme_Hindu_Cow

"I'm trying to convince them, but why would you have a movie screw up such a huge franchise?"

I think I know why Activision may not be so keen if this is his pitch.

duckncover

The headline of this article, to me, is so much of why online journalism is kicking print journalism's ass. Bravo, Brian Ashcraft, for keeping it real.

shigera

@KeroseneClimax: I don't know if I'd go as far as to say that he wrecked the X-Men franchise, but the third movie was a cinematic abortion. Not only was it a bad conclusion to the trilogy and a bad comic book movie, it was just a bad -movie-, independent of all of those other concerns.

EmpressInYellow

Why would anyone every want to follow in Uwe Boll's footsteps? Do you want the full scorn of the internet and gamers everywhere? Is that what you're looking for? If it is, by all means make Guitar Hero: The Movie, and someone somewhere will be ready with a petition for your head!

NeVeRMoRe666

Hey at least Uwe Boll has competition now!

KaliKOtt

This actually saddens me. No ones thinking Shadow of the Colossus movie? God of War movie? Grand Theft Auto movie? No a movie about a music game?

Orionsaint

@andregalan: "Hard Target" starring Brett Ratner

Description:
A man is hunted for creating bad movies and ruining trilogies. Nowhere to go, he is cornered and rumored to be directing "Gears of War". Will he escape death to direct his dream film, "Guitar Hero: Super Awesome World Tour The Movie"?

nitromic

This could only work if they pull it off à la "Wizard":

"I love the Les Paul... ... ... It's so bad!"

and ending the movie on competition that introduces a brand new never before seen Guitar Hero Game, where hitting Blue instead of Green on the 124th note in the second song will project you directly to 1st place, or whatever.

Inzoum

How did Nintendo sell The Wizard? By showing SMB3 & The Powerglove for the first time. This Guitar Movie has to do something similar. Show like a mew Keytar peripheral. Maybe amps or a cardboard cutout of a rodey.

Orionsaint

"It could be about a kid from a small town who dreams of being a rock star and he wins the Guitar Hero competition. One of these dreams- [come-true] kind of concepts." Leave this kind of shit to MTV: True Life - I want to be a Guitar Hero! Save yourself the money and embarassment, MTV has got it covered.

ChelseaCosta

Ratner Ratner Ratner.. that is not the plot of the Guitar Hero Movie, this is:

Our hero is a lowly geeky outcast high school kid. A big loser, socially awkward, bad with the girls, you know the stereotype. We'll call him Brent.

Our story picks up in early fall just as his Senior year starts. We see him getting off the bus and getting pushed around by jocks, shoved in a locker, that kind of stuff. He notices a poster announcing the theme of prom (months to early, but realism isn't an issue here.) They are going to have a Guitar Hero Prom! Instead of Karoke kids can play Guitar Hero on the big stage. The kids with the best score gets to be King and Queen.

This is Brents chance. If he can just win this competition, he'll finally be cool and loved by everyone. So afterschool he runs out to the store to pick up a copy of GH. (console of your choice) Unfortunately the store is all out! But some stranger in an alley pulls him aside and sells him one for cheap. Awesome, he blows the extra dough on pizza.

He goes home with his slightly disheveled box of guitar hero and gets set up and he's playing away but he SUCKS! Eats the big one. The game quits on him, and he starts crying over his guitar.

That's when things get strange, the guitar starts glowing (green? blue? red?) and it begins to speak to him! It turns out that his controller is really Excalibur of old taking on a new shape. (A sword turned into an axe, get it, get it?). Excalibur tells him it will teach him how to be awesome. Montage of the next five months of him getting picked on at school, playing guitar hero, hair getting longer, pants getting tighter until he's some skinny knock off version of 1987 Axl Rose.

Prom night comes along and he wears a powder blue tux and carries excalibr as hisdate. They rock out and blow everyone away when...

down from the sky come giant alien flying saucers with death lasers that start blowing people to peices (no blood for a better rating). Excalibur tells Brent that this is what the guitar hero was created for. He has to play and play perfectly so that with every perfect note hit fireballs will come shooting out of the end of Excalibur, destroying the alien invaders.

Brent is a hero! Everyone loves him! Until the Men in Black show up and try to confiscate Excalibur. Brent is forced to go on the run. The movie ends with him and excalibur huddled under a bridge as night falls, looking around cautiosly, waiting to be apprehended. Which sets up Guitar Hero 2: Excalibur's Revenge.

Apoch

Ok, I think we're all being a little too hard on this guy. Well, on second thought no...his movies suck the big one and he should have his testicles surgically removed as punishment.

dirkxxdiggler

@KeroseneClimax:
Okay. Well here goes.

The entire movie was supposed to be this epic Climax right? this whole war between mutants and humanity that was echoed in the first film, but what do we get? a flying bride. plastic weapons. a flying dude. a few shots of protests. and rogue losing her powers for her love.
ow. seriously.

all this crap about Last Stand and for what? a few x-men take on a huge array of baddie mutants and they just use their hands to punch them, with no huge battles or anything. It was a lamefest in epic proportions. Even superman returns was better than this crap.

"It gets boring to see people jump on the hate train without giving the slightest reason why."
Happy now?

Prathik

How about Pong? Do you think Pong would make a good movie? I mean, Pong has been around a long time, so it's got some serious staying power. Oh, and computer solitaire. Lots of people play that, so it's got natural appeal built right in. Ooh, and Mindsweeper. And computer tic-tac-toe. Geez, there are a ton of video game movie ideas just waiting for someone to cash in on them.

Purple Dave

@Prathik: Bleh, is that all? I expected better. Also, what does boredom have to do with happiness? Oh well, at least you tried. Try again without the smart ass finish next time.

KeroseneClimax

that reminds me of something.. The Wizard? D:

Viciouschan

@KeroseneClimax: Thanks for your acknowledgment.

Prathik

X-Men 3 was complete and utter shit, but that's not ENTIRELY Ratner's fault. Lay blame on Tom Rothman and his rush to get the film in theaters before Superman Returns just to spite Bryan Singer. Ratner is a studio hack. He did his job.

I mean, yeah he sucks, and he's an easy target. But he didn't make X3 horrible on his own.

ObZen

Lumping Rush Hour 1 & 2 (forget 3) together as "other tripe" is complete crap. Those are awesome movies. X-men 3, however, was pretty terrible. I'd put that in as "other tripe". Anyway, a Guitar Hero movie could be awesome if done ironically. My idea would be to do a Best in Show or Drop Dead Gorgeous mockumentary about a Guitar Hero tournament and the kids training leading up to it.

MSUSteve

whoa whoa whoa, didnt he make rush hour 1-3? how can you hate the man now?

pandafresh

Brett Ratner: Total Moron.

GrapenutsRobot

There is no way to make a Guitar Hero movie. It'd just be a generic band film. Something like School of Rock, or The Rocker... Just instead of Jack Black you've got Axel Steel (or whatever his name is) and Judy Nails.

Why is this? Because none of what makes Guitar Hero stand out translates to a movie. The only really big element would be Starpower...

It'd be Guitar Hero in name only.

TRT-X

Heh. That dude to the right of him is like "OMG Brett, no you didn't just say that!"

Saint Anima

@blueshoals: Did you just say Wall-E suck? Oh sir, STFU please!!!

Also, I'm glad many others thought of The Wizard when hearing this. GH: World Tour is so bad!!!!

The difference is the GH:WT instruments is actually good (I heard the drums are better than Rock Band 1's), unlike the Power Glove, which is only wearable for ironic reasons.

syafiqjabar

yeah, let's just hope that this never happens.

salmonax

I threw up a little.

Snake726

The Wizard all over again

jeremyschultz

I dunno, this seems like a good new videogame could come out of this.

Guitar Hero : The Movie (an RPG)

teh_joe

If this guy ever does a movie on everything he loves he will be the one director who has done more movies than anyone else in history, too bad only he & his family will watch them, everyone else will just go find something entertaining to watch.

fox01313

Also is it just me or does he look like he has really tiny hands?

Shrinkydinks

+ Watch video

here's the 1st guitar hero movie in it's full glory. Excuse it's crappiness....made ages ago.

Antwhan

As long as he works in Fred Savage and a dick bully with a power glove, I'm in.

Poopfoot1980

I never saw Xmen 3 (seems like I'm lucky?) because I was pretty sure that it blew chunky butt without having to see it.

I'm just a huge fan of how he shoves his foot in his mouth and basically says "Hey I make awful movies -mental backtrack- Wait I mean ummm...shit happens" Lamest excuse for crap movies ever.

Shrinkydinks

if that happens..it NEEDS to star JB and KJ with the D. but other than that....

I think that would make a pretty crappy movie.

Daneish003

Cocaine's a helluva drug.

Sandvich

here is the trailer for the movie:

black screen, words on the screen: " bret the Rat presents"
a far look showing a whole chicago like city.
movie guy: "In a city, infested with gangs and crime"
cut to people been robbed, hookers on the street, crime boss shooting someone
movie guy: "where people live in fear"
cut to windows been shut down people fleeing the streets,
movie guy:" where only the strongest survive"
cut to crime boss with a rifle in his hand and a cigar in his mouth: " is there anyone here that defies me?"
cut to a shadow of man standing in a dark alley holding a guitar hero controller and while smoke is coming up from the sewers
movie guy:" one man with great skills...."
cut to jean claude vandamme holding the guitar hero guitar and playing while wearing shorts and sweating.
movie guy: "...will riiise"
cut to a woman screaming: " you dont have to do this hero"
van damme: " you are wrong, it is my destiny"
movie guy: " jean claude van damme"
cut to jean claude van damme playing with the guitar hero guitar in front of a hord of mobs and the faster he plays the faster the mobs are dying left and right like being shot with guns but there are no guns just vandam's crazy skills.
movie guy: " joe pecsi"
cut to joe pecsi holding a gun to jean claude van damme's wife and retarded son " is that what you want you little fuck"
van damme: " noooooooooo"
cut to an explosion, then van damme jumps out of the fire holding his guitar.
movie guy: " GUITAR HERO!!! the movie"
the guitar hero logo appears on screen
then cuts to vandamm strangling one guy with his lef foot while playing with the guitar and saying :" god i love this new song that i got through dlc"
coming soon to a dumbster near you

strugler

Wow that story sounds lamer than a pile of shit. He couldn't be more creative with it if he tried.

tshack

@CoverD: ^^^ its the story about the dumb ass that dropped out of school to play GH professionally.

CoverD

Basically, he could just make a documentary of this loser kid.

[kotaku.com]

CoverD

I smell douche. Put that peace sign down too there buddy. It doesn't cover up the douche-baggery that has consumed you.

Jimbuck

Ratner's a hack. Can't make a movie without Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker's personalities carrying it for them.

Don't want to get into the levels of suck that was X3...suffice it to say, this guy is a douche...possible the Biggest Douche in the Universe.

Meohfumado

@Sandvich: Damnit, you beat me to it.

bleeps

Kind of like that episode in South Park. Oscar winning material, hell I'll appear in it for a small fee.

Anto103

Brett Ratner needs to:

A. Keep his mouth shut.

B. Quit pitching horrible movies.

C. Quit making movies.

D. Get punched in the face.

E. All of the above.

dead_red_eyes

Fanboys have a great concept (not quite as good as strugler's, though):
[fanboys-online.com]

Antiterra

@ Brian Ashcraft: "So tell me again why Brett Ratner doesn't have an Oscar yet" I think what you meant was "So tell me again why he still works". You´re welcome.

Daisuash

There is no way on Hell nor Earth that Brett Ratner can successfully save the ailing video game movie translations with...*sigh as he puts hands over face*...Guitar Hero. That's like Uwe Boll saying "I want to re-make the 1989 movie the Wizard and star Fred Savage as a father and have him compete with his son in the Grand Tournament ya to save his wife from certain death"...yea, it ain't happening. Although now the Uwe Boll Wizard remake might as I'm almost certain he checks out Kotaku message boards and comments daily for ideas.

acez2087

This is the worst idea EVER. Why not just make a rock movie? A DDR movie would be a better choice.

Spiderbait

@strugler: lmao. That. is completely made of 100% USDA pure unadulterated WIN.

Deft_One

If you get all the original cast of The Wizard, I'll watch it.

"I love the Gibson-shaped toy guitar... It's so bad."

BigBooBuddy

Everything that man touches, turns to crap. Except Serena Williams. (asshole)

ibelli

What the no love for the wise cracking black cop meets super martial arts asian cop team series? Plus Ratner was great in Scarface.

Scarface (1983) (uncredited) .... Boy lying on raft in pool

Rockbot

So... it's The Wizard?

Defenestrated

Ratner's writing it for that kid who was allowed to drop out for Guitar Hero. It's a documentary called "Born to Pretend to Rock".

Capt_Billy

Better than him screwing up a franchise you actually care about hitting the big screen.

sir_carrot

This is what happens when you graduate with a "C" from a film school.

Yea, he got money from Spieldberg; but once again; he graduated with a motherfucking "C".

PsycheE

@ capt_billy

and the movie will be rated "F" for failure (or fuck whatever you guys prefer)

strugler

Ratner needs to be banned from Hollywood. I would have replaced the start of his name with a scatological reference, but I won't dare insult TJ Hooker in just a way.

Dr_Claw4891

It's kinda unnerving to know that somebody out there thinks that a guitar hero movie would be a good idea.
If these are the great ideas floating in the mind of this particular movie director he reaaaaaaaaaaaaally needs to STOP MAKING MOVIES!!!

Spaced33

I thought up a much better Rock Band movie over two months ago.

sanyo

A guitar hero movie would only be good if South Park does it.

Xagest

I don't know whats up with you guys - I mean, if he makes a GH movie, then at least Harmonix can rest easy as it [continues to] dominate with quality games and, whats that neat little thing they do - oh yeah, innovation. At this point, I wouldn't mind watching the Guitar Hero name sink faster than it already is - all aboard the failboat!

megsuma

@Anto103: The sad thing is, that episode in South Park was a satire. Ratner is for real.

peAr nectAr

The Last Stand was the only movie I could say was worse than the Eragon movie.

Jshaw

Didn't someone already make this movie with Marky Mark?

Wubbytoes

Do the Damn Movie so that the Guitar Hero franchise can die already. Im already tired of seeing it everywhere anyway.

Or what he can do is get the episode they got from South Park an turn it into 2hours of fun.

shrek187

I hope the closest we ever get to a Guitar Hero movie is that retirement video of Bill Gates. Because that was funny and interesting for all of ten seconds, not a full feature length film.

kylo4

Didn't they make that movie already? You know with Mark Wahlberg? Wasn't it called Rockstar? and wasn't it basically that exact premise? give me a break.

mordennight

"50,000?, you scored 50,000 on Double Dragon?!".

PsycheE

...sorry brett, it's been already done:

[www.truveo.com]

delta-kapa

"It could be about a kid from a small town who dreams of being a rock star and he wins the Guitar Hero competition. One of these dreams-[come-true] kind of concepts. "

Sorry Bret
But i already saw that in an episode of South Park.
It wasn't a good episode.
But i bet your movie will be worse.

thev01

Katamari Damacy: The movie

Coming soon!

OtaconR

I hate him.

djstructure

Oh god, Hollywood seem absolutely desperate to make films out of the most retarted things, I mean... who was it that bought the rights to make a movie on "The Sims".

Plus "The Last Stand"? ... think maybe there was ANOTHER reason they called it that?

Scty

d

sipher27

more evidence why X-Men 3 is up there with the original Hulk as one of the worst movies of all time. Here's an idea for Ratner though. Have him cast that kid who quit school to devote himself to a Guitar Hero career, give him a prosthetic arm and make him do a Perfect on Through the Fire and Flames Expert mode. Then it might possibly pass reach the level of X3

sipher27

yes this movie sounds crappy but I mean think of the possibilities http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1762943. By the way his idea for a guitar hero movie sounds strangly similar to this -- Ninjas shouldn't be allowed to play Basketball; It's not fair, they're Ninjas!

ShibaniFronto

@mind in rewind:

Word!

Angust

See...Xmen 3 just got more credit for being horrible but heres a pitch to Ratner about his plot
The Kid will win the Guitar hero competition while playing dragonforce on expert with a prosthetics arm.

I know the perfect guy he could cast, the kid that ditched school to focus on a guitar hero career and then we can rename the movie to

sipher27

This has already been done in south park and i dont think you'll top that episode :)

VanCiaran

Already been done on South Park. Which was hilarious :) Other south park episodes have been made into films as well though like the dodgeball episode :S

VanCiaran

Kotaku missed the best part:

"I have a deal with Activision for their branding," he said. "For instance, naming 'Guitar Hero: World Tour,' coming up with the new 'Guitar Hero game name. It's sort of like [MTV's] 'Rock Band.' So they said: 'Come up with a name.' And I did, and it became 'Guitar Hero: World Tour.'"

Wow, Brett Ratner is a genius not only in the realm of moviemaking, but also in the naming of video games. Correct, the new Guitar Hero game is "sort of like" MTV's Rock Band... and Rock Band has a Band World Tour mode, so if the new Guitar Hero game is blatantly ripping off Rock Band, call the new game Guitar Hero: World Tour!
Brilliant.
And he's bragging about it as it was a unique and creative idea. Brett, did you also come up with the name Rush Hour 3 all by yourself?
What a douchebag.

XbhaskarX

Screw a Guitar Hero movie. I've been waiting for a Tetris movie for longer than you can believe.

_GABO_