@Reikson:

You can't pick up transvestites with armor and swords from hyboria in bars these days.

CCCombobreaker

.

These people are just hiring anyone :/.

PsycheE

It never amazes me how people revert to talking like a 4 yr old when a game is involved. If this is how you cybersex I've been doing it the wrong way all these years =)

Sparx

What is wrong with these people?

I can understand it was a prank, but don't you think he went a little too far?

As for the GM, hasn't he heard of a bar before?
You know... with real women.

Reikson

Do you think Funcom employed trolls like this to sus out the desperate members of their online staff?

AlbenoEpiX

LOL

Dude goes into extravagant detail

Snuffbox

@Fabrice, PadreScout: Seriously? Maybe because the GM should be doing his job instead of cybering with players. Or maybe because he was stupid and/or naive enough to think that without a doubt it was a girl and that it would be a smart idea to cyber with "her"? Something tells me you wouldn't hold this sort of job very long either...

ƒox

LOL! That was awesome, I was expecting a Leeroy Jenkins, but Sparta works too!

I agree though, Bloodninja is the best out there.

macr0planet

Ghey to the max!

Fermbiz

^this

PadreScout

I'm not sure what's the fuss about and this GM seems rather friendly but if anything he should be fired for abusive lol usage.

Fabrice

"[] shouts: THIS IS SPARTA" hey that sounds just like me!

Ragarnok

Not as epic as bloodninja, but still good for teh lulz.

Combichristoffersen

ahaha @ Bloodninja

djbrandon

Words cannot describe the amusement.

MSW0

I love the "THIS IS SPARTA!" Kept in the transcript for good measure.

Chewbenator

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?

eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.

BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.

eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.

BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.

BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.

eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.

eminemBNJA: Oh ****

BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.

eminemBNJA: Oh ****

eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

Neocorey

Hmm... Time to start a AoCBash.com? Or is it on already?

RageW

Wow, reading this article felt awkward. Funny, but awkward all the same.

MouseCircus

Dear god! What is the world coming to?

Gummyworm

Cybering is silly, Cybering while at work as a GM? Lunacy!
Then again, looking at the GM's professional manner and grammar I'm surprised they were in the job in the first place =P

Geminosity

I've nothing to add to this real life dramedy, so I've decided I'd rather perform a sort of public service. I've no doubt there're a few people who're woefully unfamiliar with the aforementioned "robe and wizard hat" and so I want to bring you the joy that is bloodninja. Enjoy:

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?

BritneySpears14: Aight.

bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.

BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.

bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.

bloodninja: Me too baby.

BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.

bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.

BritneySpears14: Hey...

bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.

BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.

bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.

BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.

bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.

bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.

BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.

bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.

bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.

bloodninja: Baby?

Señor Vorpal Kickass'o

This is epic. A great day in the internet.

Neocorey

He deserved to be fired really. When I played AoC the queue for a GM was ridiculous, if you had told me back then it was because the GMs were too busy cybering with some guy than to fix the bugs in the game i'd have been pissed off.

hamandcheeseUK

Don't stop now!! More!!!!

elevenoverzero

anyone who reads viz knows what fapping is.

noliferuin (PSN+XBL)

HAHAHAHAH, i feel like such an idiot for cancelling aoc,i now realize where the fun in the game is to be had :D

vig0r

Again, I never found the GM staff to be this friendly during my short stay in Hyboria.

Johnny_Under

Incredible. Just another reminder to not get your honey where you get your money...

...unless you can be sure that you won't get caught, then by all means honey it up.

LarryFabulous

Hawt?

Maniclysane

i gag

kitsuneconundrum

What a GM does on his own time is his own business. I don't want to know about it. I REALLY don't want to know about it.

Quilt

classic, wonder if the dude (not the gm) is related to that leroy jenkins fello

karmakid

Hahaha what a great post to see; sure helps me feel better in an otherwise bitter morning.

thaswizz

desperation drives men to do this...

Geomanis

@Geminosity: I have no doubt his grammar skills dwindled when he started typing with one hand..

I don't pity the fool.

mphz

I've never understood the need for cyber sex.

Dragon_Warrior

well shit i feel kind of bad for GM lol... but yea if he's so naive he shouldnt have started working for MMO

Sexy.KOT69

Class.

splin

I feel sad for the GM. What a pathetic individual.

HannibalKing

i came...to this article, read it, and gouged out my eyes

Qalbert

GM's have needs too =P but seriously that was...um.... disturbing.

xMatt

*Pulls out his Long Sword* Slowly I begin to polish just the tip. Then I make my way allllll the way down to the shaft to my hilt.*

God, does this really get people hot and sweaty…I need to read more Conan books. =P

-EDGE-

@AlbenoEpiX: don't think they need to, is the internet after all. be like paying people to troll in a forum to make sure the banhammer wielders were on the bat.

noliferuin (PSN+XBL)

o friggin lol

Jekht

@Geminosity: Yeah seriously how the fuck did he get hired?

minusX

Epic trap.

Dave Silva

Oh snap!

Darkbeat

I got mistold (word?) the climax of some kinky cybersex by a guildie once. Talk about awkward. I'll probably get a death stare through the interwebs if he's reading this. I didn't mention name or game!

Elly

[] is brilliant.

MisterMcThursday

This has been the only positive news about Age of Conan I've heard in weeks. That game is a portal to Hell, really. Its that bad.

Thrillkiller

Another proud moment for Age of Conan =/

Tesahli

Young'ns. During our 36.6k baud modem days; all we had were cyber sex chat rooms and channels.

PsycheE

@Geminosity: Aye, I actually found his spelling and grammar more offensive than his transcript.

Saxboy

What's fapping?

spaz33

Wow "This is Sparta"! That's so hip, happening, and new! These trolls sure are on the cutting edge of jokes!

Tesahli

This reminded me of this: [www.thedauntless.com]

Anyone else remember that? :D

cheesecake000

lmao "THIS IS SPARTA" :p

CockroachMan

Forget the Cybering, how the fuck did he get the job if he types like a 10 year old who just found AIM. Were they so in need of GMs that all you had to do was walk in the door?

BlackMage66652

Lol @ the GM, he seriously needs to go outside and breathe some air.

Tr4iLbLaz3r

Further confirms my theory that Funcom is run by idiots (Ellingston being one of the biggest of them all).

Madriker

@cheesecake000: This is classic. I remember hearing about this when I was playing Final Fantasy XI. Ceciliantas actually hit on my girlfriend at the time (we both played FFXI) when he played FFXI before he moved to that game. When I found out about this I almost died laughing.

Schmatz

ahahaa sweet mother of god!

animexplorer

It should be noted that Age of Conan GMs are volunteers. That's probably why the GM's typing style is so... unprofessional.

Poisonous Taoist

Wait, wait... being a GM doesn't get you laid?
That's my entire view of the world out the fucking window.

Wizzard

Fantastic. Bravo.

nolanvoid

This gets my vote for dumbest GM ever.

Rubezh

@LarryFabulous: Hahahaha, that just made my day.

Seriously though? What the hell is wrong with some people?

TuxBobble

@minusX: @mphz: @Saxboy:
Glad I'm not the only one who thought this =3

@Poisonous Taoist: Even if they're volunteers you'd think they'd do some screening. I was a volunteer moderator for the Neocron Forums for a short while and I made sure everything I posted was well worded and official sounding.

Admittedly I didn't keep that post long as while the head moderator seemed happy with what I did, we were to keep our non-op identities top secret and avoid any linguistics or habits that would give ourselves away.

Being formal and professional I can handle, not allowing any personality whatsoever into my writing I find quite taxing and so I left with apologies saying I didn't feel I was right for the job =P

Geminosity

At least it wasn't freaky dwarf cyber on wow >.>

carsonpwns

Ahahah man that was hilarious.

Refused

I found the Bloodninja one to be a lot more funnier because AoC one is just creepy as hell.

Retorrent

@Wizzard: That was my thoughts.

For reals though? Both the GM and the Player there fail. The player..for pulling a lame stunt. The GM for going along with it.

Let this be a lesson to all: Whatever you say in a game(or anywhere online) can be screen capped and shared with the world in mere seconds.

Ajh

@Reikson: Agreed.

My biggest problem is how utterly obnoxious and immature the player is, especially after the reveal. Not to mention pulling that stunt in the first place - Suppose he probably was quitting and wanted to try something first. Gods, I hate the general populace of the internet these days.

HikariOblivion

Sounds like bored at work on a Sunday

Pornosaur

@LarryFabulous: Wiser words have never been spoken

But I laughed at that so hard, that person was so stupid to fall for that...being a GM nonetheless.

Hearts_Are_1

Ironically, Funcom also has a volunteer pseudo-GM program running for AoC, known as the Followers of Asura. In many cases, some of the Asuras have greater professionalism and knowledge of the game than some of the GMs.

Then again, with idiots like this it's not a hard level to reach. I've a tenner on Funcom forcing future GMs to read "I put on my robe and wizard hat".

Jonax

Yes. It is cool and respectable to get people fired and possibly ruin their livelihood by videogame cybering. This is a worthy cause that I shall cheer with my fellow commenters who are clearly wonderful people and paragons of virtue all.

Cultivar

Haha, at least the GM had a sense of humor
Poor guy

Lelouch

@Neocorey:
lol that reminded me of the time my friend and I went and teased dudes on chat rooms :P its great fun! hahahaha XD

hrabbit

[www.clint.ca]

Adding another famous cybersex story to the mix, from World of Warcraft. Ever since reading this, I keep humanoid tracking turned on when taking the tram, just in case.

Aye Mak Sicur

oh my gawd, now even mmorpgs have publicity stunts.

Fauxe

God damn. Age of Conan seems to have really shitty GMs.

Luziphir

Back when Funcom was launching Anarchy Online, they hired one of the more vocal members of the community as their Community Manager. His qualifications? He had dual Canadian/European citizenship, so it would be easy for him to relocate to Norway.

After about a week passed they realized he was in no way qualified to be a CM and booted his ass into a less visible role with the game. So yeah, this is par for the course for Funcom.

Calhoun

Lmao, where does Funcom find their GMs? 4chan?

yargh

what a PR

Berith

I dont care, the dude pretending to be a girl that is really a dude, is just a freakish loser.

EnigmaNemesis

This is an equivalent solid "NYPD officer caught having gay sex in the workplace" kind of story. Now no one can trust GM's from here on.

King Seafoam

HAHAHAHAHA

Ping5000

Damn, I wish my subscription didn't end, I would have been there immediately!

Floreum

@King Seafoam:

I would think that GMs boosting chars in EQ2, SWG, EVE, WoW, and other such games for the past decade would be enough to not trust them.

EnigmaNemesis

"[|GM|]: lol its odd looking at a guy character… lol"

lol yeah lol, what do yooooou think? lol'ed lol

GodKiller0

lololol. sometimes great things are classified as win. however, when something becomes as incredible as this, we can only label it as, epic win.

maraxusofk

Any and all GMs using the word "lol" should be fired instantly.

Sunjammer

I bet that this is not a real GM at all, but a volunteer program attendee, whom consist of regular players. That would atleast explain the grammar.

There are like... 10(?) Funcoms own GM's. Free labour ftw.

Mikkuru

Man, if that guy got a GM position with that level of cybering, I must be qualified for Head Community Moderator.

.... Wait, I mean... uh...

ColdFury

Ugh...this reminds me of my adventures in thailand...not cool...

NeVeRMoRe666

Firing him is out of order. Funcom - 1.

mcfc98

Is this for real?

Didn't cybersex die a long time ago?

or are people still stupid to actually believe other people over the interweb?

"hmmm yes, I'm a hot 18 year old co ed, spank me daddy."

o.O

dumanue

Great read.

[|GM|]: lol why did you want this then lol you gay?

goldsoundzzz

oh, and I like how he at least makes sure "she" is 18. That's class right there

Notsogr8one

@EnigmaNemesis:
GMs have never "boosted" characters in WoW, not in North America at least. The only incident I can think of off the top of my head is the guild transfer from Uther to Eldre'Thalas long before paid transfers were allowed. That wasn't the work of GMs, though. That was the work of the company itself, because one of th officers of said guild was the wife of Lum the Mad (Mythic guy).

The public outcry on the forums made them transfer the guild back. I've never seen anything but profressionalism from WoW's GMs.

Hahaue

@cheesecake000: Lmao, that was one of the greatest things I've ever seen. "I won't have a choice Allanah, if I can't do hardcore raids and get into a hardcore guild that can use my great abilities thus I can earn my armor that signifies my abilities. Then the game is no longer fun for me."

Notsogr8one

Looks like 'Faitel' forget to photoshop out his Party Bar. All that effort of adding those censors wasted.

Canuckssleepinthenude

Best story this week

Kounji

Woah, GM! He got awfully detailed there.
How silly. :p

.em.

@EnigmaNemesis: Well to be honest, I've never played an MMO in my life. So this is the first I've heard about a GM doing something stupid. If thats the case, then this shouldn't be news to anyone at all. However, it is hilarious to read their "hot" lil' convo.

King Seafoam

Not surprising. I wonder if it was one of their FoA people (aka volunteer GM's) or a real paid for GM. I'm surprised they did anything though because when I reported a FoA GM of theirs to them about him admitting to buying accounts they took no action then.

Chardran

@mcfc98:
no wai, he wasnt really doing his job, and abusing the TOS.
thats pretty high grounds for getting B& IRL.

roflwaffles

Is it a bad thing that reading that turned me on?

(kidding)

Seriously though, that GM is an idiot.

dgonchild

WHOO! That is classic! To 420chan!

Composition94

LOL, I think he wanted to get fired. Sorta like that George Kanasta episode where he was offered to be hired by the New York Metts but needed to be fired to actually join them.

PirateMan

So wait...

He lost a really sweet gig as a GM because he was horny and had cybersex in game. I can't help but think this would all be avoided if he just got a second life account...

Xagest

So sad. Cybering is probably the only thing he gets.

Super Bunny Princess

That's some of the most unsexy cybering I've ever seen (yes, I read the full transcript).

Byakko

MOE

j/k

Arleas

this isnt Second Life!!!

Im guessing the GM is John Edwards!

shaunomacx

lol poor GM. I guess trolls just looking for fun. Go back to WoW?

Para

I'd hit it.

rainofwalrus

Another reason why cybering is stupid, plus I only thought 12y.od still did that....

...The more you know...

That Girl Hates You

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.

j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.

bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.

j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.

j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.

bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.

j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.

j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.

j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.

j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.

bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.

j_gurli3: thats it.

bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.

bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

isobelle