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Weekly Wii Update - It's Cho Aniki Time!
Posted by Mike Fahey at 1:20 AM on September 9, 2008
It's Monday again? When will we break out of this vicious cycle? As long as we stay shackled to this weekly calendar we are doomed to repeat history every seven days. Luckily for us, Nintendo has gone and spiced things up in this week's WiiWare and Virtual Console update, giving us one of the most...colourful...shooters of all time to play with. Along with the musical puzzle action of Empty Clip's Groovin' Blocks for WiiWare (800 points) and the third game in the classic Star Soldier series, Final Soldier for the TurboGrafx16 (700 points), Nintendo has graced us with Cho Aniki, the first installment of the manliest shooter ever.
Originally released in Japan on the PC Engine (TurboGrafx16 CD-ROM), Cho Aniki features heroes Idaten and Benten, who use giant, nearly naked muscle-men Adon and Samson as weapons against the evil emperor of Planet Builder, who is invading neighbouring star systems in search of the protein he needs to bulk up. It may cost 900 Wii Points, but trust me - you aren't a real man until you've played Cho Aniki.
Wii-kly Update
One WiiWare Game and Two Virtual Console Games Added to Wii Shop Channel
School's back in session, but it's not the only place to get your brain buzzing. This week's additions to the Wii™ Shop Channel include a challenging new puzzle game available via WiiWare™, plus a pair of crackling Virtual Console™ actioners to keep your imagination raging between classes. Even if your school days are behind you, this latest lineup of downloadable titles will help get you fired up for fall, fuelled by the one-of-a-kind fun of Nintendo's top-selling Wii™ system.
Nintendo adds new and classic games to the Wii Shop Channel at 9 a.m. Pacific time every Monday. Wii owners with a high-speed Internet connection can redeem Wii Points™ to download the games. Wii Points can be purchased in the Wii Shop Channel or at retail outlets. This week's new games are:
WiiWare
Groovin' Blocks (Empty Clip Studios, 1-2 players, Rated E for Everyone, 800 Wii Points): A music-based game like no other, Groovin' Blocks adds innovative musical game play to an addictive action/puzzle game foundation. Play to the rhythm of the music to increase your score, and try to hit "Superbeats" to double your multiplier. Go for the high score in each of the 27 stages as you collect stars to unlock 15 levels of power-ups. Groovin' Blocks features three skill levels, from the accessible Casual to the fiendish Hard mode. Play with your friends in co-op mode or against them head-to-head. Head-to-head brings it up a notch as the power-ups now become attacks on your opponent. Play head-to-head with people of all skill levels using a golf-style handicapping system.
Virtual Console
Final Solider (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, Rated E for Everyone--Mild Fantasy Violence, 700 Wii Points): A vertically scrolling shooter from the well-known Soldier series. In the 23rd century, invaders from the future suddenly attack Earth. Controlling a fighter created by the world's scientists, you rise to meet the enemy. Collect power-up units, such as LASER, E-BEAM, FIRE and MISSILE, and then equip them in Options to launch a variety of attacks. For each of these weapons, you can freely select from three different types in SET-UP. Anticipate enemies' strikes and deftly switch between weapons to defeat the invaders. In addition to NORMAL GAME, there are also 2 MINUTE GAME and 5 MINUTE GAME score-attack modes. The most perfect blend and balance of any game in the series, Final Soldier is a title you don't want to miss.
Cho Aniki (TurboGrafx16 CD-ROM, 1 player, Rated E10+ for Everyone and Older--Mild Fantasy Violence, Mild Suggestive Themes, 900 Wii Points): The odd world in this shooter made for quite the conversation piece in its day. Players control either Idaten or Benten, celestial warriors out to bring an end to the tyrannical rule of the emperor of Planet Builder, who holds muscular prowess to be the supreme virtue of the universe. Aided by able-bodied muscle-head options Adon and Samson, they must battle to defeat the emperor's army across five stages. Use the buttons to fire away and lay into the Builder forces. Power up your character and options with protein from defeated enemies to have them "bulk up" with a yell, and take their macho battle to the next level.
The list of downloadable games is updated weekly on Nintendo's Online Press Room at press.nintendo.com. For more information about Wii, please visit wii.com or contact:
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
XanderSan
Posted 2:12 AM 9/9/08
I've decided I simply must create a game where you shoot protein strands at enemies, but you need to rigourously shake the remote to charge attacks.
Like Scorched Earth... but with jacking off.
Because no one else is going to make it...
XanderSan
Luffay
Posted 2:09 AM 9/9/08
So..
I'm not a fanboy, but it seems kotaku only do PSN and Wii VC and Wiiware updates....and rarely do they do XBL, unless a really exciting game comes out.
Luffay
lunarworks
Posted 2:03 AM 9/9/08
Cho Aniki?
Relentlessly uptight Nintendo of my childhood, where have you gone?
lunarworks
chemical_eng_mx
Posted 2:01 AM 9/9/08
So there is hope for Captain Rainbow =)
chemical_eng_mx
dh4645
Posted 1:59 AM 9/9/08
WHERE IS MY NHL 94???
dh4645
PiemanPieman
Posted 1:56 AM 9/9/08
My dreams have come true this day.
PiemanPieman
idrawrobots
Posted 1:54 AM 9/9/08
@cio:
WORD
idrawrobots
ST19AG_WGreymon
Posted 1:51 AM 9/9/08
I'd get this game purely for the laugh factor.
ST19AG_WGreymon
Bergerac
Posted 1:45 AM 9/9/08
...
...
*Sigh*
...
'Waggle waggle'.
Bergerac
Eggman006
Posted 1:42 AM 9/9/08
@PhiCancri:
E10+
Eggman006
cio
Posted 1:37 AM 9/9/08
Where's my Earthbound already?!
cio
Proto Persona
Posted 1:37 AM 9/9/08
@Lockgar: Seems? You play a flying body builder shooting beams from a hole in the top of your head, gathering protein from your enemies to make you stronger, all while the enmies are usually shooting missles and other phallic weapons at you. Some of the missles are even fired from the crotches of the bosses.
The game is full blown homoerotic. It says a lot about me that I find it totally hilarious.
Proto Persona
viiless
Posted 1:35 AM 9/9/08
Wiiware demos? Yes? No? Maybe? I have yet to buy a game mainly for this reason.
viiless
PhiCancri
Posted 1:34 AM 9/9/08
"Power up your character and options with protein from defeated enemies, to have them "bulk up" with a yell, and take their macho battle to the next level."
And this game is rated Rated E for Everyone?!
PhiCancri
JustJake
Posted 1:31 AM 9/9/08
If there is a game with stronger homosexual appeal I haven't seen it.
JustJake
Zaxxon Q Blaque
Posted 1:30 AM 9/9/08
Fuck yeah!!!!!! Thank you Japan!!! ^_^ v
Zaxxon Q Blaque
Lockgar
Posted 1:30 AM 9/9/08
The game is mad fun, but god does it seem homoerotic.
Lockgar
XanderSan
Posted 1:27 AM 9/9/08
"Power up your character and options with protein from defeated enemies to have them "bulk up" with a yell, and take their macho battle to the next level."
I'm working on a theory that more people from Destructoid bought the game straight after this line than Kotaku readers. It just seems like something they'd get.
Man I want a 'HAWP' about Cho Aniki.
XanderSan
Modus_Operandi
Posted 1:27 AM 9/9/08
I want to hear Nintendo's spin on who that game is being sold to. I just want to hear the PR guy.
Modus_Operandi
8bitcity
Posted 1:25 AM 9/9/08
No.... thank you.
Cool releases, but nothing I'm too interested in. Solidifying the matter is the measly 500 blocks I've got left on my Wii... Mega Man 9 is going to need space to stretch out its legs.
8bitcity
Eville1 says SKUse me a sec.
Posted 1:24 AM 9/9/08
This game has always scared me.
Eville1 says SKUse me a sec.
okenny :) ...building bridges (to hide under)
Posted 2:33 AM 9/9/08
@Luffay: There's better and more comprehensive sources for XBL updates. Seriously, there's too much stuff on a single update to really cover on a site like Kotaku. They actually spotlight the games and title updates fairly well but asking them to cover the glut of information including TV, Movie, Themes, patches, videos, DLC, etc... it's just way to many things. Go to Gamerscoreblog or Xbox.com or Major Nelson's site. They have it in detail.
okenny :) ...building bridges (to hide under)
TheRealLameDuck
Posted 2:28 AM 9/9/08
@XanderSan:
I'm sure somone in Japan read your post and is currently working on it. You really should make a workable game by the end of the week or you will be out of your GOTY '09 ideal.
I loled and will be buying this when it comes out. Give it a innuendo for a name.
TheRealLameDuck
Joghobs
Posted 2:24 AM 9/9/08
@Luffay: That's bull. There is always updates on new XBLA content. How many times have they mentioned Braid in the past month?
Joghobs
okenny :) ...building bridges (to hide under)
Posted 2:43 AM 9/9/08
@Joghobs: He's talking about XBL and not just XBLA stuff.
okenny :) ...building bridges (to hide under)
SmilingPolitely
Posted 3:06 AM 9/9/08
I guess I'll never be a real man.
SmilingPolitely
GeeBee
Posted 3:01 AM 9/9/08
@GeeBee:
...or anybody that wants to know what the hell Cho Aniki is. Warning: you may be scarred for life once you do know what Cho Aniki is!
GeeBee
GeeBee
Posted 2:58 AM 9/9/08
A must read for Cho Aniki fans:
[www.i-mockery.com]
GeeBee
Nettacki
Posted 2:57 AM 9/9/08
@XanderSan: Ummm, good luck?
Nettacki
s0nlxaftrsh0ck
Posted 3:59 AM 9/9/08
I'm in ::slaps a $5 on the table::.
s0nlxaftrsh0ck
excel_excel
Posted 4:35 AM 9/9/08
@GeeBee: MY EYES!! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!
excel_excel
excel_excel
Posted 4:32 AM 9/9/08
My god......you don't want to buy it but those muscly men.....are......AGHH! MUST BUY IT!
excel_excel
Maleficent Lovecraft
Posted 5:04 AM 9/9/08
Food or Cho Aniki?
(Insert mario hitting blocks)
Now I can hold off on importing the PSP game.
Maleficent Lovecraft
GeeBee
Posted 6:11 AM 9/9/08
@excel_excel: I'm sorry excel_excel, but I did post a warning. :)
GeeBee
VakeroRokero
Posted 6:05 AM 9/9/08
Is that a swollen member????
hahaha... made you look!
VakeroRokero
maraxusofk
Posted 5:55 AM 9/9/08
Man Nintendo's description of Cho Anki is so bland. The description should be like "Get ready for a rainbow splashtacular colorplosion of manliness! Control Adon and Samson as they rip through lesser beings with their awesomeness! These guys are so hardcore, they can put lube all over their bodies and still rock on! These guys are so comfortable with their sexuality, they can wrestle with each other and still save the galaxy in style!"
Though i gotta admit, the pun in the phrase "Use the buttons to fire away and lay into the Builder forces." using "lay into" did give it some points. Touche Nintendo.
maraxusofk
SpaceRunaway
Posted 6:21 AM 9/9/08
Cho Aniki is a fine shooter, but is nowhere near as zany or overt as its sequel Ai Cho Aniki, the cover of which is pictured above.
SpaceRunaway
excel_excel
Posted 6:48 AM 9/9/08
@GeeBee: What I have seen...cannot be unseen....I'm going to go curl up into a ball and cry
excel_excel
em
Posted 7:15 AM 9/9/08
@chemical_eng_mx:
Let's hope so!
I've known about Cho Aniki for a while now. If I ever get my Wii online, I may try it out.
em
ridleysaria
Posted 9:39 AM 9/9/08
Gentlemen, prepare your manbeams!
ridleysaria
ookitarepanda
Posted 3:27 AM 9/9/08
PS2 cho aniki was the best, IMO. But really, why is there a picture of Ai Cho Aniki when the release is of the original? I had my hopes up for a moment...
ookitarepanda
Witzbold
Posted 10:42 AM 9/9/08
You are not a man until you have witnessed the glory of Cho Aniki.
Seriously buy it.
It makes a great conversational piece when you have company over.
Witzbold
PiemanPieman
Posted 3:33 PM 9/9/08
Final Soldier is fuuuuuun.
PiemanPieman