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Boingz: The Game Where You Play As A Condom
Posted by AJ Glasser at 5:20 PM on October 7, 2008
Condoms. Seriously, that's what the Boingz look like: jelly-filled condoms.
I'm not sure that's what Ninja Bee had in mind when they came up with the 2D puzzle platformer for WiiWare. I can tell that the game has more in common with Lemmings or LocoRoco than it does with the contraceptive aisle in a pharmacy. But I can't help but think as I grasp the reservoir tip antenna of the little green, blue, red, and yellow guys that there might be a penis in there that's about to get snapped when I let go.
But enough about condoms. Let's talk about why you want this game. And you do, because if the Wii has any answer to LittleBigPlanet, Boingz is it.
You play a single Boing at a time, waddling your way through a world to wake your buddies up and get them into color-coded exit games. The Boingz lack arms to grab things and can only jump short distances - so you get by mostly by snapping or flicking them across the level. To do this, you aim the Wiimote at a Boing's head, press and hold A to grab and pull as you drag the Wiimote in different directions to find the right release angle. Once you've lined up your red trajectory arrow, you let go of A and your Boing goes flying - bouncing off of surfaces or sliding over hard angles like a jelly-filled condom rubber band. The goal is to get every Boing into a gate, but if you want to be a little more hardcore, you can try a timed mode where you race against the clock to solve the puzzle.
I started out with one blue guy that I had to flick across a body of water. I aimed him straight across, so he bounced off a sleeping yellow guy on the other side. Now that he was awake, I switched to control the yellow guy by pointing at him and pressing A. I tried to rocket the yellow guy up to a ledge above him where his exit gate was waiting, but the ledge was too high and I fell in the water. Boingz float, so I had no trouble jumping out of the water and getting back to where I left the blue guy below the ledge. Switching back to the blu guy, I grabbed him by his head and stretched his body across the water, pinning his antenna to the ground by pressing B. I then swapped back to the yellow guy and had him stand on the blue guy that now made a bouncy bridge across the water. From this angle, I was able to make the flick up onto the platform where the exit gate waited.
But wait! There was still another Boing in the level - a sleeping green guy way up on the top-most ledge. I targeted the exit gate where I'd sent my yellow guy and pressed A to call him back out. Through a series of flicks, I got him up to an even higher platform, where he woke up a green guy. I used the green guy to knock down a rock from a ledge and then stapled the yellow guy's head to it before plunging off the side of a cliff to fall back down to where the blue guy was still hanging out. We rolled off of him and I switched controls so I could unpin the blue guy's head, opening up the way to the water. Switching back to yellow, I used the weight of the rock stuck to his head to go deep underwater and collect a series of power-ups, which gave my Boingz the ability to jump higher. Now, without the need for blue to act as a bridge, I was able to get the yellow guy back up to his gate, get the blue guy across another body of water to his gate and then switch back up to green and send him over the cliff to where the green gate was.
That probably doesn't sound as awesome as it is. But hey, I thought Braid sounded pretty dumb when someone tried to describe it.
The bottom line is Boingz is a physics based game that feels really good to play; the exact kind of game we want on the Wii. There's a sense of accomplishment as you work your way through the increasingly difficult puzzles; and the bright, friendly colours plus cute sound effects are only the icing on the cake.
Look for it on WiiWare hopefully by the end of this month (maybe early next month - it's in certification, and that can drag on for a while).
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
ThisCharmingMan
Posted 1:36 PM 7/10/08
@Saliu: I'm inclined to agree. LBP is all about endless fun, and revolutionary user created content. This looks like a really fun, short puzzle game. I don't really think the parallel exists between the two here.
ThisCharmingMan
Hamsfork
Posted 1:34 PM 7/10/08
You can't even begin to understand how disappointed I was when I read the article and learned that you don't actually get to play a game as a condom.
Hamsfork
Fadakar
Posted 1:34 PM 7/10/08
@EnigmaNemesis: 0.O
Perspective, fuckers. :D
Fadakar
kilikafinal
Posted 1:33 PM 7/10/08
the wii motes potential has awakened
kilikafinal
DukeOfPwn
Posted 1:33 PM 7/10/08
@DukeOfPwn: And by "LOVE IT" I mean "Looks like we've got another Owen Good in the office".
DukeOfPwn
Wolfers
Posted 1:32 PM 7/10/08
@Wolfers: Terrible, unintended pun. I apologize.
Wolfers
Wolfers
Posted 1:32 PM 7/10/08
Really? Condoms? That's a bit of a stretch.
Wolfers
ShiningDark
Posted 1:28 PM 7/10/08
Interesting, first a Beer Pong type game and now Condom Adventures. The Wii is a great tool to get kids ready for College or High School depending on where you live.
ShiningDark
blue bed
Posted 1:27 PM 7/10/08
Finally!
blue bed
psxman
Posted 1:27 PM 7/10/08
Nothing the grab my attention like the mention of condomds. Every been to Amsterdam? Go to the Condomeries, they've got them in all shapes and sizes... ALL SHAPES.
So um.... what's this game about?
psxman
Jayl3w
Posted 1:25 PM 7/10/08
I'm going to have to call this a sub-par post, tbh.
It's seeming kind of like someone was reaching in trying to find a clever way to talk about this game and didn't exactly pull a winner this time around.
Not really sure when the last time you saw a condom, or a penis for that matter, but that certainly doesn't look like either unless you actually push to see it.
Pushing my imagination to see penises (penii?) isn't exactly something I'm into.
Jayl3w
Saliu
Posted 1:24 PM 7/10/08
Boingz as an answer to LBP huh? Nope, nuh uh, and no way! There is no answer to LBP. The only answer to LBP is the inevitable sequel ( which is a good thing ) That was like when Dark Cloud was touted as the Zelda killer. Some things simply cannot be touched. Sackboy has New Sony Mascot written all over it. ( too bad he's a direct reference to a scrotum ) and good for Sony. It's about time. Crash Bandicoot didn't pull it off now did he?
Saliu
ChunkOFunk
Posted 1:22 PM 7/10/08
@EnigmaNemesis:
O.o
ChunkOFunk
BrutalAssailant
Posted 1:22 PM 7/10/08
@EnigmaNemesis:
>.^
BrutalAssailant
Metal_Slug_Solid
Posted 1:19 PM 7/10/08
Why do all the objects in the background resemble penises???
Metal_Slug_Solid
90sKid
Posted 1:18 PM 7/10/08
@pezcore2552: Take a deep breath, then turn your head and cough.
90sKid
xberserkx
Posted 1:10 PM 7/10/08
that's some reservoir tip
xberserkx
pezcore2552
Posted 1:09 PM 7/10/08
God this woman infuriates me! First of all I see now condoms in those screenshots so stop thinking you're clever. Second of all this is in no way competition for LBP. Not saying one is better or worse, or being a fanboy (I don't even own a PS3), but they just are not the same game at all. Christ! Think before you hit the post button!
pezcore2552
PenguinJim
Posted 1:08 PM 7/10/08
I use condoms to keep loose Werther's Originals.
PenguinJim
DukeOfPwn
Posted 1:08 PM 7/10/08
That's one akward way to begin an article...
AND I LOVE IT!
DukeOfPwn
dowingba
Posted 1:06 PM 7/10/08
This is exactly what Lemmings is missing: dozens of flailing condoms.
dowingba
EnigmaNemesis
Posted 1:05 PM 7/10/08
o.O
EnigmaNemesis
Zenanon
Posted 1:52 PM 7/10/08
This hardly sounds like the Wii's "answer to LBP".
Zenanon
freakout
Posted 1:45 PM 7/10/08
@Jayl3w: I'm going to have to call this a sub-par comment, tbh. Medorthophobia, much?
(BTW, not sure when was the last time you saw a condom, or a penis for that matter, but cylindrical body + flared head that tapers off at the end... how could you not make the connection?)
freakout
beanerific!
Posted 1:39 PM 7/10/08
They don't look like any condoms I've ever used.
On the other hand, this game looks like a delightful little platformer with an interesting-sounding control gimmick.
beanerific!
90sKid
Posted 2:01 PM 7/10/08
@Saliu: Dark Cloud 2 is AMAZING, though.
90sKid
BassForever
Posted 2:27 PM 7/10/08
If this game had user created levels then I could see the LBP connection, but it sounds more like a fun physics game.
BassForever
Thugmunk
Posted 2:49 PM 7/10/08
@PenguinJim: Effin' hross dude.
Use dental dams instead. Lrn2srore t3h werthurz
Thugmunk
Saliu
Posted 3:11 PM 7/10/08
Hey, ya' know what? I didn't even look at the screenshots until now ( which would be a half hour later than my last post ) But ummm... condoms? I mean... I guess so. Maybe good old AJ here went a few rounds with those glow in the dark condoms, was remembering the glory days, and unwittingly wrote a post on it. I too was hard pressed to "see" the aforementioned condom. Maybe " It's a trap!" And AJ just wants us to say we see condoms. Well, I'm not buying it. I'm going to say I see eagles. That's right eagles. Nobody else see condoms. See what you want to see children, and don't let anyone tell you different... it's better that way.
Saliu
Toastbusters
Posted 3:09 PM 7/10/08
@Wolfers: Don't apologize - the damage is done.
Toastbusters
Ryodestined
Posted 3:02 PM 7/10/08
Mythbusters should use jelly-filled condoms for physic-based myths.
Ryodestined
Intellectualdiot
Posted 3:00 PM 7/10/08
Perhaps the suggestion that this is the Wii's answer to "Fantastic Contraption" would've been more accurate?
Intellectualdiot
dowingba
Posted 4:42 PM 7/10/08
@pezcore2552: We've officially hit the stupidest comment on the whole internet. That's it. It's over. We can all go home now. Good work, guys. Good work.
dowingba
Netnavi
Posted 5:49 PM 7/10/08
A.J. is kind of a pervert.lol
When I see the pics up there I don't see condoms; more like amoebas.
Netnavi
Purple Dave
Posted 8:23 PM 7/10/08
There actually was a game once where you played a condom. The only objectives were to catch sperm and STD viruses before they got past you. As a way to help inspire condom use, it was certainly the most unusual I've ever come across...
Purple Dave
headcharge101
Posted 10:15 PM 7/10/08
@Purple Dave: was it called sex
headcharge101
ALT
Posted 2:24 AM 8/10/08
@pezcore2552: You are a bag of douches.
ALT
Purple Dave
Posted 6:09 AM 8/10/08
@headcharge101:
Don't remember the name, but I do remember that whenever one of the little guys slipped past you it'd go "woohoo!" I think it was produced in Europe (definitely not the US), but I can't remember which country specifically.
Purple Dave
FOAD
Posted 6:36 AM 8/10/08
@Intellectualdiot: Fantastic contraception?
FOAD