Look kids, it's the cast of the hit internet series The Guild! In case you've not heard of The Guild, it's a hysterically funny look at a group of MMO players and how they react when things get a bit too real. The lovely red-haired woman there is Felicia Day, who Buffy fans may remember as someone only Buffy fans would remember. She plays the guild's healer, Codex, who one day gets a surprise visit from Sandeep Parikh, the warlock who assumes the two have hit it off and decides to move in with her. If you've ever been in an MMO guild you know these people, from the inattentive mother Clara (far left) to the young, "spirited" player Bladezz, played by Vincent Caso there on the far right. Vincent...I am so sorry I called you a dick today. I really meant your character, I swear. You're a lovely man. Anyway, check out the show's website and find out what happens when a guild stops being real and starts getting...really real.

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There are many types of creepy. There is, for instance, the zipper-chested Sackboy creepy, the kind that gives you nightmares of creeping death and knit intestines. Then you have Were creepy, the glaring, overly happy, spring in your step kind that makes you wonder whose intestines this particular bit of anthropomorphic IP just choked down to get so happy.

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Look! It's a rare, collectible, plush squirrel! Do you even need me to tell you what game this an Amazon-exclusive pre-order goody for? No, of course you don't, not because it's obvious, but because you will buy ANYTHING to get your hands on a rare, collectible....did we mention collectible? A rare, collectible, plush squirrel. This isn't just some average, run-of-the-mill, mass-production plush squirrel. You don't give a squirrel like this to a baby and let it chew on it for hours. No. This is a vacuum-sealed in a glass case squirrel. *drools*

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All you guys told me STFU this morning and post about video games, not politics. Well, suck it. Pwn or Die has a half-dozen shoops of everyone's favourite fappable vice presidential candidate, and I must say, the Samus costume is quite fetching. But good God, she looks like a dude -- Rudy Giuliani with a wig, actually -- in that lollipop GTA IV rendering. Guys if you're gonna do it, do it right, Palin never steps foot in public without her indestructible updo. The full gallery is on the jump.

UPDATE: Reader Nick R. supplies box art for Cabela's Alaskan Adventures: Sarah Palin Edition. Is this a retail box drop or DLC for a 2-year-old title? Oh. God, I'm tempted to tag this post rumour just for the hell of it.

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Hey, 2009's almost upon us, and TF2Newbs has put out a 12-month zipfile of spies doing the crab walk in Team Fortress 2. My favourite is August, which captures this conversation between Nfreak (the calendar's creator) and his cohorts:

{OSS} |CiC| Andy <3 amvalvo: Nfreak, turn around
Bob Dole's Woodlen Critters >:3: We're trying to do a spycrab calendar
Bob Dole's Woodlen Critters >:3: SS
{OSS} |CiC| Andy <3 amvalvo: Bob, keep walking back and forth

TF2Newbs promises to donate $1 to the National Spy Crab Fund for every download.

(/rushes to establish National Spy Crab Fund).

Rare Endangered Spy Crab 2009 Calendar [TF2Newbs]

Amazing news from tipster Josh, who picked up a copy of The Witcher Enhanced Edition and was overjoyed to discover it was actually Australia's first R18+ videogame! Or... maybe it was just a very unfortunate printing error? Has Atkinson changed his position yet? No?

OK.

Anyone else with a copy of this illustrious 'Enhanced Edition'?
[Thanks for the photos, Josh!]

UPDATE: Commenter 'philomglol' points out this is probably the rating for video content on the disc. So it's not a mistake, just another good example of the farce that is the local rating system. R18+ rated video can slip under the radar on an MA15+ rated game disc because the game scrapes under the bar while the video is rated where it probably belongs. OK, nope, it was an error... thanks Leesa. Is this an example that helps our cause, or just muddies the waters?

Those of you eagerly awaiting the continuing RPG adventures of Gabe, Tycho, and dashing protagonist might not be waiting too much longer, as Hothead Games announces Gold Master Status on the PC, Mac, and Linux versions of Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness Episode two. The price is $14.95 across computer platforms, with the Xbox Live Arcade version the 1200 Microsoft Points, $5 cheaper than the first installment. The PS3 version is expected to share a similar price point.

In celebration of this momentous occasion, they've also released an official trailer for Episode Two, which I've tucked comfortably after the jump.

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We're not surprised that there's a dirty movie version of Namco Bandai's pop idol sim THE iDOLM@STER, we're just surprised it's taken so damn long. Originally based on an arcade game, the Xbox 360 exclusive title lets players manage candy coated pop princess. It's been a hit with otaku. This naughty "parody" film stars Mika Nurie, Nonoka and Rui Saotome, who blogs:

Today, we filmed the adult version of an idol training game.
For an entire week, we did dance training.
I was worried that I wouldn't remember all the dance moves, but I was able to get through the routine...
I can't say the name of the game, but maybe there are lots of people who know what it is.

Glad to know she was able to remember the dance moves. That's important.

TMAがアイ○ス？ [BSOのほめぺげな Blog]

GU Comics has a one-panel take on the mentality behind the Australian Classification System, with a bigger picture perspective than many of us locals may first think to make. Well worth the click -- and kudos for playing to Australian trivia for foreigners without playing up any stereotypes!

Almost Anything [GU Comics]

Of whatever screen we're looking at, I'd say at bare minimum a good third of the visual information it displays in an hour is not something we want others seeing. Whether that's Thundercats reruns, saucy e-mails or online personals, or certain game sequences that, out-of-context, might make it look like you're up to something else.

GamesRadar, I know I always toss out the lists they're working on, but they have a list of game moments you don't want your family or friends walking in on. Super violence is obvious, especially if you're in a family dwelling. So are strip clubs in Grand Theft Auto and Carla and Lucas having sex in Fahrenheit. But GR also cites "the whole thing" from World of Warcraft -- as in, caught playing that is no different than getting busted with porn on the screen.

Age and context matter, I think. If anyone caught me playing We Cheer or Ultimate Band I might be in for an uncomfortable intervention, too. So, have you ever been walked in on at an awkward moment in a game?

Game Moments You Don't Want a Loved One Walking in On [GamesRadar]

Have we ever posted that surreal-arse Burger Time pic? God damn, I want this in black-light poster format. This illustrates Blog of Hilarity's look at the 8 Worst Real Life Jobs of Video Gamers. Not sure what their standards are, as Paperboy's benefits of being a paperboy is, quite reasonably, "MILFs," but Mario's benefits for being a plumber is "feces, lots of feces." What, is he coprophagic now?

The 8 Worst Real Life Jobs of Video Game Characters [Blog of Hilarity]

I'm not the type to get joy out of someone else's misfortune. Over the years Jack Thompson and I have built up a rapport of sorts, but that's bound to happen when you email with a person for upwards of four years. While Thompson tends to go off the deep end, and off on me, whenever I've tried to get into a deep conversation with him or do a standard interview, I still find his persistence and point of view fascinating.

That all being said, there is a game of sorts being played on Twitter right now that is 110 percent awesome. It appears that Lore Sjoberg, once of Kotaku and always of kicking the internet's arse, started it up by Twittering:

Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he's not even allowed to approach the bench at a picnic table.

and

Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he can't even file briefs in his underwear drawer.

Which was followed by:

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Check Out master Chief's Wang - Shouldn't laugh, but really, there's a poignancy to it. It's an old store display from a record store near my house. Done by a local artist who, it turns out, is quite handy with a brush. Sadly, his website doesn't feature the aforementioned wang. It does have another very nice digital painting of the chief, however.

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BBC sketch comedy show The Wrong Door put together a handy PSA for those who tend to get a bit too excited during co-ed Wii play. Oh, it's painfully obvious, but I saw Crecente type "haha" earlier today after having watched the clip. Maybe you'll type "haha" too? If not, maybe the crude Wii Sports tennis and Mii renderings will elicit at least a "heh."

Thanks for the heads up, Robert!

From "Putting on Pants" to "Making Ice Tea", here's a slew of Doc Brown mini-games. (Sadly no "Butthead" mini-game.) Still, that final boss battle is tricky!

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LittleBigPlanet's a game, yeah. Shaping up as a great one, too. But it's so much more than that. According to Media Molecule co-founder (and LBP art director) Kareem Ettouney, it's going to be a cute, cuddly way to get yourself out of that crummy GameStop part-time gig and into the big leagues:

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According to my sources that are Wikipedia and Matt Hawkins, Tokyo Gore Police is a futuristic Japanese sci-fi gorefest in which the police are forced to deal with a new breed of superhuman who can, I don't know, use their innards as deadly weapons or something. It's all mad science and seemingly an excuse to show fountains of blood squirting in all directions.

The film, which was screened at the New York Asian Film Festival this summer is being promoted with a series of parody ads. This particular ad is a send up of Nintendo's Wii, featuring a game known as Remote Contorol Exterminate [sic] in which players essentially slice up hapless victims for fun. Check out that sweet butcher knife controller accessory! Ick! It's obviously not safe for work or for the squeamish and is therefore after the break.

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Both wear some of gaming's most impractical outfits, according to GamesRadar. Actually, the news here is that vampy sex costumes account for only 2 of the 9 making the list, and women account for a total of four. Considering GamesRadar's track record on the subject, this counts as enlightenment. They point out that Arthur in Ghosts 'N Goblins goes scanty-pants more frequently and for more gratuitous reasons than Ivy of Soulcalibur, although I guess 8-bit graphics of the day couldn't incorporate realistic ball-sway or pec jiggle to make this truly a case of gender-agnostic sexploitation. Anyway, there's booby in this (including Kratos' moobs), so I've done my job. (Sorry Maggie). But yeah, a plumber's getup is absolutely not fit for the hostile vacuum of space.

Gaming's Most Impractical Outfits [GamesRadar]

Surprisingly, Crazy Climber isn't one of them. D'toid taps current events for a humor list this weekend: What to play when the global economy (thanks, U.S. lenders! When banks "compete" we're all hosed!) is teetering. A particularly novel selection is the shitbag advergame Yaris, which is free, encourages useful global panic skills such as hypermiling with a subcompact, and is evocative of unemployment because hopefully someone lost their job over it. Actual fun games include Crackdown and Thief. I thought someone would have picked Black, although it's unlikely we'll be back in that anytime soon.

The Five Best Video Games to Play During a Stock Market Crash [Destructoid]

To be sure, to be sure! It seems today is talk like a pirate day, what, what! We hope you have been sharing the joy of cleverly constructed pirate talk with friends, colleagues, and foes alike. The lovely chaps at Games On Net have gathered some smashing examples of pirate gameplay to enjoy. Have you played them, chums?

YAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH SCURVY DOGS!!!

The 2008 Games on Net Seadog awards [Games On Net]

Many years ago I had the pleasure of interviewing Todd Tuckey, owner of TNT Amusement, for a story I was working on about arcade machine ownership and restoration. The man is a font of information and a genuine arcade aficionado. He also makes a living restoring, storing and selling arcade and pinball machines.

Every time we talked over the years he would mention his infomercial. An hour long commercial for his place that was so packed with info, silly jokes and eyes on retro machines, that it had earned itself a cult following. Finally, one day I asked him how I could watch it and he said that it wasn't online. So I told him to send us a copy so we could host it.

The entire hour may not be for everyone, but if you like arcade gaming, you should probably watch a bit of it. Personally, I think it's awesome.

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As if a stalky song by a glass-less, punky Colbert weren't creepy enough, the Harmonix folks created a bunch of Colbert avatars in Rock Band 2 to have them collectively serenade the likely still-traumatized Charlene. Hit the jump to watch the Colbert Collective sing the song.

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Stephen Colbert will be playing host to some chaps from Harmonix as they give him a Rock Band 2 rendition of his song Charlene (I'm Right Behind You).

Eighties stalker anthem Charlene recently appeared as free Rock Band DLC.

The show will broadcast tonight (Wednesday 17th September) at 11:30 PM EST on Comedy Central.

You can check out a video of Stephen performing Charlene, in the actual nineteen eighties. It in no way resembles David Brent's Free Love On The Free Love Freeway, at least not in any way that is actionable in court.

RB2 on Colbert Report Tonight[Rockband.com]
(image: http://www.shipbrook.com/onnotice/)

I love You Don't Know Jack. Many who have played it feel exactly the same way. When it went to a web edition in the late '90s it was the best damn thing on the Internet, but then it all went away. Regular installments of the new webshow have been enjoyed over the past two years, but now they're set to call it a day at #100 to focus on a next big thing.

We've decided to actually try to make some money with this thing. We're working hard on getting this game out to the masses... in the upcoming weeks, you'll hear some real big news about a real big deal we've made with some real bigshots who can help get YOU DON'T KNOW JACK back to where it belongs - in the home of every living man, woman, and child, and most elves. And for all of our loyal viewers, and we know who you are, we promise to give you a token of our appreciation. Stay tuned.

Past rumours point to a Wii version in the works, and that could be a lot of fun. I'll still cross my fingers for a Live Arcade or PSN version -- they'd be a lot better suited to online play... but in the end I'll take whatever Jellyvision give me.

If you've never played it, go play the last few episodes (plus all the archives are available) before they wrap things up to get to work on their 'big news' project.

Big News in Jellyland [YDKJ via Destructoid]

Oh, you might think this is soooooo kewte but really, I see about a dozen child protective services cases in this post by Screwattack. It's a gallery of cosplay kids and since they all appear younger than 6, I'm guessing they were not fully participating in these sartorial choices. You know, dress your kid like Master Chief, you're just asking for a neglect inquiry.

When Gamers Have Kids [Screwattack]