The Lord of Games isn’t done with Banjo and Kazooie yet, with twelve new challenges and 7 multiplayer games coming to Xbox Live next week as L.O.G.’s Lost Challenges.

L.O.G.’s Lost Challenges hits the Xbox Live Marketplace on April 7th, giving the fans who still refer to themselves as such gobs of new content to play around with. The Lord of Games has crafted 12 new challenges and 7 new multiplayer modes to test players and their distinctive vehicle creations. A new version of Klungo’s arcade game and 250 points worth of new achievements awaits those skilled enough to rise to the challenge.

The downloadable content also includes seven sets of blueprints from the winners of Rare’s Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts fan vehicle design contest, which can also be unlocked by completing the Stop N Swop feature from the upcoming Xbox Live Arcade release of Banjo-Tooie.

L.O.G.’s Lost Challenges will be available next Wednesday for 400 Microsoft points. Until then, let the following trailer and screens satiate the poor, battered Banjo-Kazooie fan inside of you.

Rare is planning on lifting the lid off an expansion for Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts, potential downloadable content it hopes to announce sometime this week. That announcement may even herald a new promotional logo!

That last part probably isn’t all that exciting, except to sales and marketing types, but Rare’s Lord of Games, the fictional creator of Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts’s game worlds, has something up his sleeve(s). The only hint LOG gives is that something new will be arriving due to “popular demand.”

We don’t believe Rare is simply referring to the upcoming release of Banjo-Tooie, slated to hit Xbox Live Arcade next month, but something for Nuts & Bolts.

I just put my next paycheck on Rare finally announcing new game worlds based on Killer Instinct, Jet Force Gemini, Battletoads and Grabbed By The Ghoulies. As promised.

Any better guesses?

Rare News [Rare - thanks, Sheldon!]

If you’re gaming on a smallish standard-def TV, or if you’re one of those people who subscribe to the large-print Reader’s Digest, good news: the patch enlarging Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts’ text is now out.

This had caused problems because there’s no voice acting in the game, and certain underpowered rigs made it difficult to read the dialogue which, in addition to being clever, contains clues and instructions and such. Originally Rare wasn’t gonna fix it, but then someone cracked the whip and they got it out, albeit a month and a half later. Enjoy.

Rare Releases Text Enlarging Buts & Bolts Update [Xbox 360 Fanboy, thanks Krumm]

Rare Drop a Massive Bombshell Hidden in Banjo Kazooie! [Cranky Gamers UK, thanks Jordan, Maze, and many others]

With a driving, flying and boating replacing hopping and bouncing, with almost everything else that made the series seemingly in tact, does Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts sink or swim?

Loved
Deep But Simple Vehicle Customisation: Given that Nuts & Bolts‘ relies so heavily on a wide range of customised vehicles, the construction in Mumbo’s workshop had better damn well work. It does, thankfully, with bespoke vehicles Duplo block-simple to throw together in 3D. Vehicles provided stock by the Lord of Games or via blueprint generally work well enough to get by, but you can always do a little bit better. Whether it’s as simple as trimming some excess weight and slapping on a beefier engine, or something more creative, like tossing on some balloons and springy wheels for better hang-time, there’s plenty to fiddle with here.

Superior Visuals: Rare knows how to deliver fuzzy caricature, but it’s also expert at making the inhabitants of its games feel alive. Showdown Town is visually awesome to behold, rife with careful detail and dripping with cool visual tricks. The visual integrity of the various game worlds may be inconsistent, as can the frame rate — it can seriously chug — but it’s a pretty little package.

Value: Like Rare’s other 2008 release, Viva Pinata: Trouble in Paradise, Nuts & Bolts comes budget priced. (Banjo Kazooie is definitely the better value of the two.) The game is packed with things to do and collect, worlds, challenges and vehicle parts to unlock, ensuring that even after you’ve burned through the 12- to 15-hour single-player portion, you’ll have plenty left to do. Multiplayer is a nice addition, but generally feels like a series recycled single-player experiences, not something that will likely replace your current online gaming obsession.

Sense of Humour: Rare offers a massive dose of self-referential humor, poking fun at its commercial failures, its reputation for widget and doodad collecting marathons, and past Banjo Kazooie games. Stabs at the Xbox 360 console, the Frag Dolls and even Mario are peppered throughout, offering some genuine laugh out loud moments.

Hated
Horrible Vehicle Handling: While the challenges offered to Banjo and Kazooie in exchange for collectible Jiggies are typically straightforward and simplistic, actually completing those challenges can be maddeningly difficult due to the game’s awkward vehicle physics. You’ll spin out while racing, get hitched up on corners while cruising around Showdown Town and slip off platform edges more often than might keep you sane. Nothing’s hard, necessarily, just too much repeated effort to get the job done.

Escort Services: Nowhere is the game’s unforgiving physics model more frustrating than in protection and escorting missions. Trying to protect multiple battlefronts while manipulating tanks or choppers seems wildly out of whack difficulty-wise with the rest of the game’s challenges. Since on-foot travel is so slow, you’ll have to stay in your vehicle for almost all missions. When those missions involve firing upon or ramming into multiple foes with a slippery ride, you may dread completing your Jiggie count. Also, having to deposit Jiggies in the bank after winning them, as well as carting vehicle parts back to the centre of town to unlock them adds an extra layer of escorting anti-fun.

It’s A Collect-a-thon Too: Inasmuch as Rare comically turns the lens upon itself over its obsessive item collecting gameplay mechanics, it doesn’t appear that criticism has been taken to heart in Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts. You’re still hoarding a ton of stuff: parts, notes, Jiggies, trophies, Jinjo challenges. Perfect for the maniacal completist, but tired for those of us who had enough “thing” warehousing last decade.

Highly Polished Dullness: Many of the game’s challenges simply aren’t any fun — driving around in a circle for two minutes, for example. For as much stuff as there is packed into Nuts & Bolts, there isn’t a ton of substance. The core gameplay feels distinctly hollow, with the real appeal seemingly for those who prefer to beat the clock, optimise their creations and see 100% of each widget and doodad in their inventories.

Banjo Kazooie enthusiasts may bemoan the lack of platforming, whatever that really means anymore, in Nuts & Bolts, but the game is actually quite enjoyable as a unique take on the action-adventure genre. It almost feels like Rare — and the Banjo Kazooie fan, for that matter — would have been better served offering a compromise of gameplay styles — things that can be completed with and without the use of the game’s near infinite customised vehicle choices. In the end, Nuts & Bolts feels more like a googly-eyed version of a Grand Theft Auto game, one filled with simplistic driving missions piecing together a micron thin storyline.

Even if you despise the new direction that Rare has taken with the series, given the financial investment required, we’d advise cautious fans giving Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts a spin. The urge to see and do everything may peter out, once you’ve had your fill of scratching your collection itch or suffered through some of the game’s deplorable vehicle handling, but there are still moments of fun buried within.

Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts was developed by Rare, published by Microsoft Game Studios and released in Australia on Nov. 20 for Xbox 360. Retails for $69.95. Completed single-player campaign, tested online multiplayer.

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Comes now George to pass word from Microsoft PR that the text issue will in fact be patched. Here is the statement, posted on the Banjo Blog.

“It has come to our attention that people are experiencing subtitle [dialogue text] readability issues with Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts on Standard Definition TVs. We would like to assure you that contrary to earlier reports, we are aware of the issue and currently working on a title update to be released within the next 30 days that will fix it for those with Standard Definition TVs. We’re committed to ensuring all fans of the franchise are able to have the best experience possible with Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts.”

No word on when the patch is available, but it sounds like it’s a priority if Microsoft PR is taking charge.

GOOD NEWS: Fix for Small Text on SD TVs Issue in the Works! [Banjo Blog via RareWitchProject and thanks to gamer4250 for the tip]

If anything, we’re now guilty of giving too much direction on justifying one’s game. Rare’s Neill Harrison took advantage of our goodwill, which is letting developers and producers prep ahead of time for Justify Your Game, resulting in carefully planned elevator pitches. For Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts, Harrison pretty much nails it following a minute’s long mental practice. If it weren’t for the last second awkwardness, this one would’ve been left on the cutting room floor. Thank the video gods for performance anxiety!

Nope. It was none of them. Believe it or not, the video presentation that was showing at the time was for Rare’s Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts. Really. And every other time I saw it shown, people stopped, turned, and watched, where for most other titles (Star Ocean 4’s STUNNING cinematics aside) they’d just keep on walking.

Guess it’s not being marketed that heavily here, and looks, I don’t know, different. Unique to Japanese eyes, maybe. Who knows! If you guessed wrong, chin up. There are more important things in life. If you guessed right, remember, internet bragging rights are yours for a day.

Sure, it’s still a grind of a collect-a-thon and the eyes are still as googly as the fur is furry, but Nuts & Bolts‘ repeatable missions and vehicular combat made us realise that Rare has something rather unique on their hands — a wide-open world without the ultra-violence.

While we knew all about the vehicle customisation and creative puzzle solving, we didn’t know that acquiring a “jiggy” following a successful challenge would turn into a high speed police chase. Turns out the cops are corrupt in Showdown Town, that hauling your bird and bear asses back to your safe house from the Jiggoseum was such an important part of the game.

Sure, it may have more hugs than hookers, more furry woodland creatures in overalls than drug dealers, but GTA-style game design looks to have had an influence on Rare. (Who says their skills aren’t applicable today?) That players can carjack each other’s rides via Xbox Live — you can lock your vehicles to prevent such a thing — makes us wonder if Rare will be the ones actually corrupting our youth.

Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts also has plenty of the Metroid-style backtracking and unlockable areas courtesy of new upgrades. But watching Rare’s demo of the game today made us immediately compare it to Rockstar’s most popular efforts, not so much classic Nintendo fare.

We’ll see if the open world sandbox gameplay finds an audience. Nuts & Bolts, with its LEGO block-esque vehicle customisation and cuddly free-roaming adventuring sounds like a winning combination (and the budget price doesn’t hurt). We wonder if it will be a worthwhile pacifier for the underage crowd who want to go hog wild in a virtual sandbox.

There was also a bit of news shaking loose before the show officially kicked off. Here’s the run down:

Microsoft Has Over 140 Demo Kiosks, Buddies With Square Enix
Patapon 2 Helps You Keep Your Groove
Xbox Japan Booth Babes Adore New Booth Babe Outfit
Sorry, But Ninja Blade Is *Not* Otogi 3
Banjo Kazooie’s Japan Inspired Backpack
LocoRoco 2: Afros, Home, Luft Balloons and Water
Loads Of LocoRoco 2 Screenshots
LocoRoco 2’s Number One Fan
Let’s Patapon 2 Multiplayer