New advancements in boob-modeling middleware could potentially allow for digitally-sculpted cans “as small as B-cups,” reports the respected news outlet. Sounds unbelievable to us, but if someone can managed to pull off something smaller than a pair of double-Ds in a game without the need for new hardware, we’re all for it.

Unfortunately, the Onion says that the tech is hardware dependent, meaning that until widespread developer support hits, its huge, motorboating-worthy jugs for all digital females. *sigh*

New Video Game Technology Finally Allows Rendering Of Smaller Breasts [The Onion]

Etsy is an excellent place to find video game themed crafts, but it doesn’t look like this seller put much work into the “Super Nintendo Necklace.” He’s hoping you won’t notice. You probably don’t.

The necklace costs US$25 seller, who maintains the classic Nintendo blog “The 72 Pin” handmade this from the following materials:

• Sisal
• Packaging Tape
• Paper Flower
• Fully functioning Super Nintendo

Bewbs are display only.

Not interested? Perhaps you would be interested in his GameBoy Advance necklace. $20. (Bottom) Again, Bewbs are not included, for display purposes only. (Of course they are.)

The 72 Pin’s Etsy shop is, clearly a front for used video game sales. How long it lasts, who knows.

Fully Functional Super Nintendo Necklace [Etsy, thanks EgyptianRuin]