This trailer for Guitar Hero: Aerosmith, your one video game source for Aerosmith music, combines ugly cell animation with ugly 3D graphics to generate some of the most hideous imagery ever created for a video game. The graphics are well crafted, to be sure, but the Aerosmith models look like something out of The Dark Crystal, only without gelfling goodness. I do find myself feeling bad for drummer Joey Kramer, who apparently has no physical features worth enhancing to ugly Muppet proportions and winds up just looking like some guy on the drums. The trailer also loses points for cutting off Cheap Trick’s Dream Police before the chorus, leaving me looking stupid singing along with nothing and my cats looking terribly confused.
Newsweek this morning is reporting that Aerosmith and their music will be a Guitar Hero exclusive for an “unspecified period of time.” Activision CEO Bobby Kotick first hinted that the band would be “proprietary to our format” at last month’s Morgan Stanley Technology Conference.
Are you as excited about Guitar Hero: Aerosmith as I am? Then you’ll probably want to skip this article. Those genuinely excited can stick around and read about the spiffy preorder deal going on at US retail outlets. Preordering Guitar Hero: Aerosmith entitles you to a special, limited edition bundle of the game, featuring the game itself, and Aerosmith tour book, the guitar, and an exclusive Aerosmith faceplate for said guitar. The bundle will sell for $US 99 for Xbox 360, PS3, and Wii, $US 89 for wireless PS2, or $US 109 for the special PS2 bundle with two wired controllers. Perfect for those of you who were holding off on buying Guitar Hero until a nearly-all Aerosmith version came out.
Oh, we knew from the get-go that Guitar Hero: Aerosmith wouldn’t just feature the middling, aging bad boys from Boston, saving us gagging on a disc full of the band’s signature schlock. The original press release even says that “celebrated artists that the band has either performed with or has been inspired by in some way” will appear. Who? Well, Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry has been pretty mouthy about that lately, with the latest issue of Game Informer revealing that Cheap Trick, Mott the Hoople, Joan Jett and The Kinks will have their own tunes on the next Guitar Hero release.
Aerosmith sure does love their video games. First they take down a corrupt government in Midway’s Revolution X, and now they’re getting an entire installment of Guitar Hero to themselves! Activision just announced Guitar Hero: Aerosmith, a version of the bestselling title that features songs from the 38-year-old band, as well as a selection of music from bands that have either toured with or been inspired by them. Why Aerosmith? Just ask front man and rabid chapstick consumer Steven Tyler: “Any band that can go from ‘Don’t Want to Miss A Thing’ (Aerosmith’s #1 smash hit) to the ass-kicking ‘Sweet Emotion’ to the cheekiness of ‘Love in an Elevator,’ to the classic ballad ‘Dream On’ shows why Activision chose us to headline this game based on the diversity of the Aerosmith catalog. Not only is songwriting a bitch, but then it goes and has puppies.”
Steven Tyler is awesome. What the hell does that last line even mean? No clue, but Liv Tyler’s dad said it so I’m all about it. That bitch had puppies!
In honor of the announcement, Activision is releasing a free track for Guitar Hero III. Aerosmith’s classic Dream On will be available for download February 16th through the 18th via Xbox Live or the PlayStation Network.
This marks an interesting new direction for the Guitar Hero franchise, and a slightly risky one for Activision. Sure, Aerosmith has sold more than 150 million albums worldwide, but not necessarily to people apt to pick up a video game. It could be a big success, or it could be Marky Mark: Make My Video. Possibly a bad example, but I really think Mark Wahlberg needs to be reminded about that whole Funky Bunch thing now and again to keep him humble.