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Sunday Comics: Dead Island For those of you who decided that the theatre just wasn’t the right place to thoroughly enjoy Uwe Boll’s In The Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, Fox Home Entertainment has some great news for you. While normally you’d expect to have to wait a good six months before a quality film such as this made it to DVD, Fox is rushing it into the hands of eager fans on April 15th, complete with deleted scenes (he DELETED some?), a behind the scenes featurette, and trailers. All of this for a suggested retail price of $US 27.98, which translated into Wal-Mart money is roughly $US 14.99. Rejoice, movie fans! Our long, nightmarish wait is soon over!
In The Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (R1) in April [DVD Times]
Uwe Boll’s In The Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale didn’t do so well at the box office this weekend, making back a mere $US 3.3 million of its $US 70 million budget. Hell, I even forgot to go see it in the face of more interesting pursuits – my toenails are now neatly trimmed and filed. Now that he’s suffered three bombs in a row (BloodRayne and Alone in the Dark completing his hat trick of suck) and his German tax shelter funds have dried up, Boll concedes defeat reveals his true passion. “In the future, I will focus on small films such as (the video game adaptation) ‘Postal’ or (the Vietnam war drama) ‘Tunnel Rats,’ ” he said. “These are films that represent my true passion, and they can be done with small budgets.”
Which is all I can afford, so it’s mighty convenient that they’re my true passion. If they really are where his heart lies, he should have just stuck with them in the first place, saving us all a lot of pain and suffering. Oh well, all’s well that ends well.
Boll ejected from big-budget ring [The Hollywood Reporter]
The Montreal Film Journal raves about In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale: “Fuck “The Lord Of The Rings”, this is how it’s done!” Of course the reviewer then goes on to explain that he is lying, but for one, shining moment you can almost imagine Uwe Boll getting the tiniest bit of a stiffy. His latest film opens today in theaters across North America, and from the reviews I have read so far it almost sounds worth going to see just how amazingly terrible it is. My personal favorite so far comes from Rick Groen of the Globe and Mail, who took a sort of liveblogging approach to the review. 7:15 p.m. Flick finally starts. Appear to be in a medieval castle. The bedroom. Naked Ray Liotta spoons naked Leelee Sobieski. Close-up of Ray. Looks like he just jetted first-class into Middle Ages. Straight from Goodfellas. That’s some Witness Protection Program.
Oh screw it, I’m going. I’ll let you know how it turns out if I don’t die laughing.
