I rock Adblocker, so I actually haven’t seen these in a while. Which is a pity. If ever an ad was going to make me reach for the “disable” button, it would be these more recent Evony ones, what began as an attempt to cash in on Lord of the Rings having obviously become a rush to secure the services of girls appearing on porn movie box art from the 1990s.

And no, I didn’t make that last bit up.

LazyGamer have posted a great gallery (recently updated to encapsulate the game’s recent offerings) charting the “turn” of Evony’s ads, from their humble beginnings in the Tower of Gondor to the boobs smorgasbord they offer today. Sad/fun reading awaits.

A History of Evony Ads – The insanity continues [Updated-Again] pLazyGamer, via JeffGreen]

Parkour is incredibly dangerous. Yet in both Assassin’s Creed games, Altair and now Ezio make it look so easy. But how easy is it, really? The lads at IGN AU endeavour to find out in what is surely a tribute to the late Late Show’s Shitscared skit.

Assassin’s Creed II at IGN.com

Bernard, a customer support rep for Activision, proclaimed that if he got more Twitter followers than his colleague, Randolph by Friday, he’d pie Randy in the face. Bernard came up short but carried out the attack anyway. That’s customer service.

Bernard lost by 1400 to 340. I know cowardice when I see it and I point the finger squarely at Randolph, who failed to recognise his insurmountable lead and act pre-emptively.

Obviously the vid is a stab at viral marketing for Activision’s customer support reps on Twitter, but hey, why not. I’ve tried it with other companies (not in video games, though) and my issue was taken care of seriously. And it beats hold music and phone trees.

Only five of these golden consoles will be made by “Computer Choppers“. Considering they dip or trim BlackBerrys and iPhones starting at $US1399 you can expect this sucker will run much more than a mouth full of gold teef (parts, not labour).

24k Gold PS3 Anyone? [Hot Blooded Gaming]

Give firearms to one pissed-off amphibian and watch roadkill turn into road rage. Oh, so I’m gonna die if I hit the edge of this screen, MFer? Yeah, well, Frogger’s goin’ home, bitch — through the front goddamn door.

Grand Theft Auto vs. Frogger [Gagfilms via CollegeHumor]

Called “Find Your Own Way Home”, it doesn’t sound like much of a game – it’s billed as a “hidden object adventure game” (ie click the screen a lot) – but then, it doesn’t have to be Deus Ex 4. It just needs some soothing adult contemporary rock, tight pants and the whiff of the 1980’s to get by, and on those counts, it looks set to satisfy. Especially since it’s coming packed with 12 of the Speedwagon’s finest.

No word on a release date, but it’s due for the PC and Mac. What, no WiiWare release?

Anyway, a Mr. “serv-27zb4-1438184361@craigslist.org” is offering his services and his DJ Hero kit to rotate some tracks for your wedding party, using “‘ACTIVISION DJ HERO and XBOX360′ to mix blends and mash-ups of DANCE – CLASSIC ROCK – HIP HOP” – aka the usual shit you hear in the waiting lounge of a Jiffy Lube down in Fuquay.

The guy then quotes 21 songs off the DJ Hero tracklist. “Host must provide STANDARD TELEVISION SET and SPEAKERS!!” Thass right, bitches!!! No Hi-Def!!! We talkin’ STANDARD. Also: “My setup is state of the art,” even though you could tune a boom box to 107.5 out of Winston-Salem, Rock 92 from Asheboro or 102 Jamz (”It really, really does!”) from Greensboro for the same effect.

His fee? Three hours for just $US50 and the beef or chicken. But for $US25 more, he’ll close down the joint, be it Masonic lodge or Jaycee hut. Luckily, “Don’t Cha” is also not on the tracklist, so you don’t have to endure a bunch of 55-year-old broads pretending to be MILFs before the cake-cutting.

L@@K DJ for parties, weddings, business eventTAKE URPARTY2THE NEXT LVL (RTP, NC) [OH YEAH, via Destructoid.]

We can’t quite believe we’re typing this.

Nintendo Australia contacted us to advise they’ve “partnered” with renowned hair salon Toni & Guy. What this “partnership” means is, from today until November 30, you’ll be able to play with a Nintendo DSi while you’re getting your hair “pampered” at the hairdresser’s Paddington, Sydney, salon.

As Nintendo helpfully point out: “While having your hair done, you can take a photo with the Nintendo DSi Camera and upload it directly to Facebook to share your new look with friends and family.”

The best thing about this? I’ve got a sweet new lifestyle photo to use next time I post about the DSi. Cheers, Nintendo!

Some eye-opening (and – for the irony-deficient – pranked) reviews for Pittsburgh’s real Mercy Hospital started popping up a couple weeks back on Citysearch, beginning with “FrancisSilverman” under the heading, “I hate hospitals!”

You know what I don’t hate? I don’t hate vests.
• Pros: I hate doctors!
• Cons: I’m getting tired of these damn vampires!

“WilliamOverbeck” followed with another one-star rating; “We blasted our way through hordes of zombies that had their rotten asses hanging out of the hospital gowns, only to find a zombie helicopter pilot on the roof!” And “LouisLuvsCounterStrikeNPillz” gave it a 2-star rating summarized with “awful. …

“WHY THE HELL WERE THERE GUNS, MOLOTOVS, PILLS, AND PIPEBOMBS IN A FREAKING HOSPITAL!!!!!” Louis complained. “SERIOUSLY DO YOU EXPECT YOUR CUSTOMERS TO KILL THEMSELVES?”

And it’s not a party for the zombies, either. HunterPunter today called Mercy Hospital “a bad place …”

This place was evil! I was just chilling here with by Smoker buddies then all of a sudden a bunch of surviving humans try to blow us to bits. I am NEVER coming here again…
• Pros: great place to chill after a zombie apocalypse
• Cons: survivors….

Perhaps the most comprehensive description of Mercy Hospital’s infected awfulness comes from “Toshinden“:

I went to this hospital to have my chronic headaches treated or at least diagnosed. Upon entering, I asked the receptionist for some help. Instead, she lept over the counter and started clawing at me. But there just happen to be some guns on the seats. I sadly had to kill her in self defence. Knowing the cops were soon to follow, I proceeded to go up. I wasn’t thinking, just going up. On the way up, I had faced many disgruntled patients and workers. One patient was polite enough to vomit all over me. While I was blinded, his posse (i am assuming he is a gang leader of sorts) started running at me and beating me. After successfully escaping, my headaches have only gotten worse. After consuming large amounts of pills, I stumbled my way onto the roof, where a man possibly being treated for a steroid overdose was waiting for me. After tossing me off the building, I almost lost my life. I was thankfully recovered by some strange African American man claiming to have his pills. I am home safe now. But no amount of pills and medpacks will cure my emotional and physical pain.

• Pros: The pills were here.
• Cons: So was the tank.

At publication time, UPMC Mercy Hospital of Pittsburgh, a real health care facility, “the first hospital in Pittsburgh and the first Mercy Hospital in the world,” with a record of care going back to 1847, has 10 one-star ratings out of 12 overall on Citysearch, thanks to Left 4 Dead.

Mercy Hospital, Pittsburgh, PA 15219 [Citysearch, thanks to Ryuji, who wins the weekend with this tip]

Jen Groeling went off on a two-week vacation and came back to find her cube at Sega cordoned with plastic wrap and filled with about a zillion pages from Game Informer magazines. See for yourself in this video.

I totally would have cannonballed into that pile.

SEGA’s Office Pranks [YouTube, big hat tip thanks to Nightwheel]