The always droll Games Radar has come up with a list of the “mediocre” women of gaming — if by mediocre, you mean “somewhat sensibly proportioned and no gratuitous jiggle”. In other words, “girlfriend material”, a “compliment” that has gotten millions of insensitive, fumble-tongued 20-something males backhanded by their angry SOs.

So, sorry, no bursting-at-the-cups Ivy from SCIV in this one, just good ol’ 2D renders, and maybe some cabinet art. The list features Marian from Double Dragon (seriously, they punched her in the stomach at the beginning of Double Dragon. And no one batted an eye!) Carmen Sandiego and Meryl Silverburgh from MGS. But leading off is Pauline from Donkey Kong, who’s dressed like she belongs in a polygamist cult. Pauline was sort of the George Lazenby of the Mario franchise. Made one big appearance and that was it, although she did get some TV work out of it. I hope Pauline’s still cashing royalty checks, spending them on cheap whiskey and ranting about Princess Peach.

Mediocre Game Babes [Games Radar]