Early this morning we got a tip to that photo (and others), which is part of a gallery of the very attractive Ann Angel showing her lust for Master Chief. The tip backtracked to a site called Gamer Fetish (extremely NSFW, NSFchildren, NSFusing family computer at kitchen table, you name it). And I think it's safe to say that geek porn is officially a growth segment for that business, no small feat considering the infinite variety of infinite fetishes/urges/niches served by online erotica.

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Back in my days as a teen, my parents weren't afraid of anything as far as I was concerned, but not all 15-year-olds are 6'6" with a goatee. Today's parents have plenty to worry about in fact, though a recent survey performed at the family-focused consumer game site What They Play seems to indicate their priorities are a bit out of whack. They asked a series of asked over 1,600 respondents what they'd fear the most if their 17-year-old were to participate in a sleepover. The results, picked from single answers only - no multiple choice here - indicated that while 16% were concerned about pornography and 14% about beer, 19% voiced concerns that their child might end up playing Grand Theft Auto.

Proving that parents haven't gone completely crazy, the vast majority - 49% - were worried that their child would smoke a little chronic with their pals and then...I dunno, giggle for 8 hours straight, like we did back when i was a teenager. That's the real danger folks.

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Destructoid found some pr0n in a user's shared photos on the Halo 3 file sharing system back in July. Now Bungie is laying down THA LAW. They've got some draconian punishments for "authoring modified content in a file share" and "uploading modified content to your file share", where "modified content" means "teh boobie".

Authoring gets your account permanently banned from Matchmaking, permanently stripped of file share functionality, and a hardware ban that keeps you from playing Halo 3 for a month. Uploading just strips you of file share permanently.

Bungie advertised the penalties in an official blog post on Friday. The tone is pure Bungie:

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We had our fun with lewd and lascivious Spore creatures when the Creature Creator first hit, and then we were done, but some people just can't let go and move on. The plague of Spornography has become so widespread that even the folks at CNN can no longer turn a blind eye. At least they keep things classy.

But scrolling through the database — past the three-legged sea horse, past the seven-eyed wildebeest and the half-motorcycle-half-pig — revealed something many users didn't expect. Buried among the more wholesome attempts were two-legged dancing testicles, a "giant breast monster" and a four-legged, "phallic fornication machine", for starters.

You can almost hear the concerned-sounding voice of your nightly news anchor during a commercial teasing a full investigative report on how Spore is raping our children's minds.

The CNN report covers all of the angles. First the get the word from the Spore development team.

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Weapons? Drugs? Violence? What doesn't Saint's Row 2 have (that Grand Theft Auto has already done)? A porn starlet on the development team. No, not 'on' the development team. CVG reports that Veteran adult entertainment engineer Tera Patrick has apparently joined the team at Volition as a "special producer". What exactly she will be producing remains up in the air at this time, but I am assuming it has something to do with procedurally generating sales to the sort of people who know her work intimately. Having seen Ms. Patrick performing her work accidentally via the internet in the long-distant past a week ago, I can't imagine what else she might be bringing to the table, other than wobbly table legs.

All will be revealed soon, teases the game's publisher THQ. In the meantime, Tera will be at the company's booth at Comic-Con on Saturday to pose for photographs and give convention goers the completely false impression that they have a chance in hell of getting together with her.

Porn star joins Saints Row dev team [CVG]

Well! If Brain Age gets a naughty movie, then one would correctly assume that Wii Fit must get one as well. Japanese adult video maker Gekidan Carnival has just released Geki Fit, which features the tagline "Fitness Is Erotic!" Geki Fit features 115 minutes of young ladies in various stretching and yoga poses against an all-white background. While there are no Wii-motes, Wiis or Balance Boards, the movie does feature font and packaging "homages". (Gekidan Carnival probably doesn't want to get sued back to the stone age by Nintendo!)

Hit the jump for the cover. The distasteful sweat might be NSFW.

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They're to be sold by a company by the name of oioo. No idea what games could ever support this. They come in his & her's varieties. Or her's and her's. Or his and...look, we're still a little unsure about the one on the left. It looks like it will cause injuries. And not the type that break a television. The type that makes medical textbooks, the type nurses and paramedics will joke about for years to come.

ooio [via Gizmodo]

Apparently I'm not the only one enamored with Funcom's recently released Age of Conan. The creators of Whorelore (formerly World of Whorecraft) have jumped into the Hyborean Age as well with "Rage of Bonan".

More than just people having sex in costume, "Rage of Bonan" actually recreates the very first quest in the game, which involves rescuing a bound, scantily dressed woman by killing a nearby enemy for the key to her shackles. Granted the woman in the game was blonde and it doesn't actually end with a sex scene...though I am sure it did in the minds of many of the males and not a few of the females who played through it.

Hit the jump for a gallery of pics from the clip that isn't very safe for work at all, as well as information on how you can be a part of Whorelore's new Conan fixation.

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The uncanny valley is that strange place in digital graphics where a human looks so almost real that the figure is actually more upsetting to the viewer than if they were playing, say, Rainbow Six Vegas 2 with two white sticks and a ball. For anyone who may have missed 30 Rock last week, here's the uncanny valley better articulated with the kind of references we can all understand (porn and Star Wars).

As for those who would like to continue the episode's debate as to whether or not porn and videogames could one day fuse into a quite literal nerdgasm, hit the comments and wear gloves.

"The Uncanny Valley": Why Porn Video Games Suck [NSFW Fleshbot NSFW]

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Being a kid is hard. Being a parent? Harder. When a 13 year-old Virginia kid intentionally broke the vacuum cleaner so he could skirt his chores and play Xbox 360, his mum took action. Mean mum action. She tells our sister site Gizmodo:

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