rant

Only Fox News Can Save Us From The Tyranny Of Xbox One

Microsoft says the Xbox One won’t need an always-online internet connection. But if you want to play it, the thing must be able to check in with the home office once a day. Playing used or borrowed games also sounds like a real bitch. Only one thing that can save gamers from this: our old enemy, Fox News.


Why Every Gamer Should Be A Retro Gamer

I love what can be done with today’s cutting edge consoles and PCs. I really do. Still, every gamer should be a gamer who loves Retro games. Here’s why.


Who Do I Have To Kill To Stop The Shadow Of The Colossus Movie?

Work is progressing on a big-screen adaptation of Fumito Ueda’s rather excellent Shadow Of The Colossus. Am I the only one who hopes that it doesn’t actually get off the ground?


Square Enix, You Are Addicted To Countdown Clocks And Need Help

This is an intervention. While most of the gaming world has thankfully moved on from stupid countdown clocks designed to drum up silly publicity for forgettable games, Square Enix still clings to them. It’s time for Square Enix to stop. Enough!


Rant: There’s No Such Thing As A Free-to-Play Game

I’ve tried to be fair to the concept of free-to-play games, which you see a lot of in mobile gaming. Yes, it all seems a bit cynical — it trades a single price for a potentially unlimited revenue stream, but there’s nothing necessarily illegal or unethical about that. It does depend on making some substantive portion of the experience, you know, free to play, as kind of a good faith gesture.


Let’s Worry About The Games We Already Have

When I was a kid, my parents bought me a copy of Final Fantasy Legend II. This was OK for a while. It was a fun game. Then I found out there was a sequel.


Minor Console Aggravation: Those Darn PS3 Installations

Download a game on the Xbox 360 or the Wii and you’re good to go. You can play it. Download a game on the PS3 and you just might have to then tell the PS3 to install it.


If You Want To Be Taken Seriously, Don’t Call Your Game Warface

Crytek, the studio behind the Crysis series and its eye-bleeding Cryengine graphics tech, are getting ready to launch their newest game. It’s a free-to-play shooter. It’s already out in some parts of the world and it’s called Warface.


Thank God I Can Make My Borderlands 2 Character Stop Yapping

Considering that the point of Borderlands 2 is to use the biggest possible gun on the biggest possible dude, it sure is a chatty game. Even the guns talk! It’s basically a comedy; a machine-gun barrage of riffs, references and cheeky toilet humour. The jokes are pretty good, generally speaking, even though they have a tendency to rely on LOLspeak and juuust barely dated internet humour.


Rant: Crazy Expectations Of A Console That Didn’t Deserve Its Third Chance To Fail

If you never saw Crazy People, a 1990 film starring Dudley Moore, I highly recommend it. Basically, an advertising agency is taken over by the insane, who decide that honesty — the anathema of marketing — is now the best policy. Volvos are sold as “boxy, but they’re good.” Another stunt offers “a free plant for fat slobs”. And a poster featuring an attractive couple frolicking on the beach invites the viewer to “Come in the Bahamas”.


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