Wal-Mart is going all out for the Madden 10 release, prepping thousands of stores for a midnight release on August 14th, with a couple of exclusive promotions to make sure players don’t offend their loved ones too badly in the days following the game’s release.

First off, Wal-Mart stores will have a limited edition Gillette Fusion NFL razor for sale with the game, with handles featuring your favourite NFL team. It doesn’t specify that this is the Gilette Fusion Gamer, but seeing as that’s just the normal Fusion marketed at gamers, it might as well be the same thing.

Then come the roses.

With thousands of men likely to be glued to the game after Friday, Walmart is rolling back the price of a dozen roses to $US8 and making them easily available in the Electronics department, so guys, who may need some early forgiveness, can remember their gals who don’t want to feel “left out.” An easy to send and thoughtful “early apology email” is also available at Walmart.com/madden.

That’s extremely thoughtful of them, isn’t it? You can even visit the company’s Madden micro-site and send a pre-emptive apology email. Extremely cheesy as well, but this is Wal-Mart. It’s not as if they could have used my idea of an NFL-licensed marital aid anyway.

Wal-Mart is also offering a $US10 online gift certificate to anyone who pre-orders the game online instead of hanging around the store in the middle of the night, but I’m not sure you can call yourself a Madden fan if you aren’t physically handing over a method of payment at 12:01 am.

No matter where you preorder Champions Online you’ll gain access to the open beta test on August 17th, 30 days game time, and five in-game microtransaction dollars, but after that it all comes down to where you pick up the game. Want access to the early-start preview weekend? Then you’ll want to buy from GameStop or Best Buy, depending on whether you want an in-game pet or special costume pieces.

Wal-Mart preorders are for those who prefer real-life swag, with a lenticular cover, and iron on patch, and a zone map packed into its exclusive limited edition package, while Amazon is the place for those who value avatar looks above all, with three exclusive costume pieces on offer.

I am really beginning to hate this practice. It seems completely silly and arbitrary to me. It also makes me wonder who is negotiating these deals, as I cannot see why any fan would chose Amazon or Wal-Mart over the stores offering early access to the game. Madness, I tell you. Check out the full list of benefits below to help you determine where you’ll buy Champions Online come September 1st.

GameStop

GameStop customers who pre-order Champions Online receive access to the Early Start Program. Battle an alien menace, collect exclusive items, and join the early start weekend to get a jump on the action! GameStop customers also receive the exclusive Insectoid Airfoil costume piece and Experimental Anti-Graviton Generator flight travel power at character creation for an early boost in mobility.

Wal-Mart

Wal-Mart is offering an exclusive Limited Edition Package with collectible lenticular cover that includes an exclusive zone map, iron-on decal and an additional ten in-game micro-transaction dollars! Check online and in-store for more details and other potential offers.

Best Buy

Best Buy is offering their customers the fun and functional Lil’ Champ Pack. These persistent pets are iconic, knee-high characters from the Champions universe! Best Buy Customers receive their own Lil’ Champ. In addition, Lil’ Champ owners also receive a functional damage resistance item. Best Buy pre-order customers will also receive access to the Early Start Program and head start weekend.

Amazon

The High Roller Pack is perfect for players who insist on the finest accoutrements for their avatar. With three unique, exclusive apparel options (harlequin headpiece, black knight helmet, grenade chest strap), and an additional five in-game micro-transaction dollars, you’ll have plenty of options to push your “High Roller” look.

All

All Champions Online pre-orders receive guaranteed access to the Champions Online open beta test on August 17, exclusively offered by IGN.com. Additionally, all retail purchases include 30-days of free play and five in-game micro-transaction dollars.

The machines, currently being tested in 77 Wal-Mart locations in New York, Massachusetts, Connecticut and Rhode Island, should be relatively simple to use. You scan the bar code on the game box in order to receive a quote. Once you accept the quote, you insert the game discs, which I am assuming are checked for damage before being accepted. Then things get a bit cloudy.

While the Video Game Buy Back kiosk shown in this photo has a Wal-Mart sign that says “Trade in Games for Credit”, it doesn’t seem to mean Wal-Mart store credit. According to an e-Play representative, the machines only support charging the trade-in value back to a credit card, which takes 2-3 days, according to the instructions on the company’s website.

We also asked e-Play who sets the trade-in prices for the games, and are awaiting a call back with that information, as the representative we spoke with did not know.

NeoCrisis had a chance to try out one of the machines this weekend, only to find that most of their games wouldn’t scan and the one that did (Mirror’s Edge) wasn’t in the kiosk’s database.

Not exactly a GameStop killer of a trade-in program, really. With no immediate payout, I can’t see these kiosks taking any substantial amount of trade-in business from the video game retailer any time soon.

Trade Used Games at Walmart [NeoCrisis via Cheap arse Gamer]

Hey, parents: if you’re buying a used games console for a small child, do the right thing and check it out first yourself. That way, you’ll avoid what happened to poor little Eliso Tovar.

See, Eliso was treated to a late, late Christmas present from his mum last week. She took him to a Wal-Mart in Manatee County, Florida, and bought him a pre-owned PSP. All was well!

Until he took it home and turned it on. And found that the wallpaper was of a naked chick. And that the PSP had a memory stick inside it that was full of “hundreds of pornographic pictures”.

Wal-Mart offered to give the kid a new PSP game. Eliso’s mum, Tamatha, is having none of it, and wants a whole new PSP instead.

Mom Finds Porn on New PSP [Fox, via VE3D]

Attention, Wal-Mart shoppers: the mega retailer is currently doing massive reductions on women’s self-esteem, moving the Wii Fit advertising kiosks from the electronics department to women’s clothing. A diabolical tactic!

Yes, that’s a full length body mirror adjacent to the Wii Fit kiosk, a deviously placed hint that’s not so subtly telling Wal-Mart shoppers “Hey, time to put the Oreo Double Stufs down and get some Wii Fit yoga done, chubs.”

We don’t know how far or wide the appeal from Wii Fit to chunky women has been deployed, as reader Zach is our source for the conspicuously placed display. But we hope they erect some near our local mall food court — right next to the Cheesecake Factory seems appropriate.

Wal-Mart Top Retailer for U.S. Gamers [PC World, via Go Nintendo]

“We’ve listened to our customers, who are showing a clear preference toward Blu-ray products and movies with their purchases.”

Wal-Mart will continue to sell HD-DVD products in the coming months, but expect to be Blu-ray exclusive soon with a heavy shift happening in the next thirty days. Add to that this week’s announcement of Netflix’s Blu-ray exclusivity and you’ve got what looks like an end in sight to the format wars.

Wal-Mart on Blu-ray bandwagon [CNN Money]

But that doesn’t mean we can’t still laugh when they do. We just wonder which party would be more upset that SIXAXIS controllers are labeled in an Xbox 360 kiosk, Sony or Microsoft. Or Nintendo. Ooohhh! We bet you didn’t see that little twist coming!

Walmart Markets Playstation 3 Controllers As XBOX 360 Controllers [via digitalbattle]