zero punctuation

Zero Punctuation Reviews E3 ’08’s Trailers

11:00AM Michael McWhertor | When Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw isn’t reviewing video games like Age of Conan or Alone in the Dark, he’s meeting his contractual obligations with The Escapist, weighing in on things like trailers shown at E3. In four minutes and forty seconds, Yahtzee picks apart non-playable previews for games like Prince of Persia, Final Fantasy XIII, Resident Evil 5 and Fallout 3 with sexy results. Actually, that should’ve been hilarious results. We were still thinking about the pus covered roulette wheel and anal shielding imagery from this episode. Two of our choicest fetishes! Zero Punctuation: The E3 Trailer Park [The Escapist] More »

Zero Punctuation Takes On Age Of Conan Naked

4:00AM Mike Fahey | While Yahtzee isn’t that big a fan of the Ememorpagah (MMORPG) genre, he decided to suck up his general distaste and plunge into the world of Funcom’s Age of Conan anyway, a fact I am sure has nothing to do with the fact that The Escapist currently looks as if it were being forced out of one of the game’s distended orifices. These sorts of coincidences always happen with website advertising, such as the other week when my Coors Lite review went up. Awkward! More »

Zero Punctuation on Lego Indy, With Bonus!

6:20AM Mike Fahey | Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, it’s pretty fun, try it out. This pretty much sums up Yahtzee’s latest Zero Punctuation, in which he takes on Lego Indiana Jones, a game far too cute and nostalgia-packed to really trash. Don’t let the quick summary keep you from watching, however, as not only are there some truly laugh-out-loud moments in the main review, the bonus review afterwards is just dead on. How do you guys like the new music? ZP was getting a bit too big to continue using commercial music without drawing attention, so now it opens and closes with generic heavy metal. Call it his Guilty Gear period. Zero Punctuation: LEGO Indy [The Escapist] More »

Zero Punctuation Takes On Ctrl+Alt+Del

8:00AM Mike Fahey | Either there were no games worth Yahtzee reviewing this week, or recent developments in the gaming webcomic Ctrl+Alt+Del have frustrated him as much as they’ve frustrated me and he decided he needed to vent. Yahtzee hides behind the view of making fun of all webcomics in a generic fashion until he gets to the bit about a whacky webcomic shifting gears to do a story on the female character having a miscarriage. This is exactly what happened in Tim Buckley’s Ctrl+Alt+Del, a comic I’ve long been a fan of but can suddenly not stomach. More »

Zero Punctuation Wades Through MGS4

2:40AM Mike Fahey | In this week’s Zero Punctuation, Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw takes on the PlayStation 3’s great white-haired hope, Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, and as I expected he pokes at all of the usual failings people tend to find with the series. Too many cutscenes, confusing plot twists, redundant dialogue, etc. To a point I have to agree with him. I played through the game myself this past weekend, and I have to say that had they not included the nifty camera swapping mechanic during mission briefings I would have fallen asleep at several points throughout the game. I did, however, find myself crying like a baby several times during the experience, though that could be attributed to the fact that I can be an oversensitive little bitch at times. Zero Punctuation The Escapist] More »

Zero Punctuation Does Not Enjoy Haze, Either

7:00PM Luke Plunkett | Why didn’t you enjoy Haze? If you’ve actually played it, and aren’t just accepting that the game’s a load of crap because the internet told you so, feel free to watch this week’s episode of Zero Punctuation and choose from one of dozens of reasons Yahtzee catalogues to agree with. Oh, and if you’re wondering why the video progress bar is only 2/3 of the way through when ZP finishes, don’t. Just…press stop right away. Zero Punctuation: Haze [The Escapist] More »

Zero Punctuation On Oblivion

9:20AM Mike Fahey | Leave it to Yahtzee to make me feel bad about a game I spent over sixty hours exploring. I could have sworn I had thoroughly enjoyed myself back then, but now I’m not so sure. I suppose this is the double-edged sword of reviewing older titles. The week before last’s Painkiller review made me dig out my copy of that game, and now he has me pondering burying Oblivion. Of course no one has that much power, and I never did complete that last Shivering Isles godhood quest… Zero Punctuation [The Escapist] More »

Zero Punctuation Takes On The World Ends With You

2:00PM Brian Ashcraft | Sorry for the hold-up! Here’s this week’s Zero Punctuation, which is taking on Square Enix’s DS title The World Ends With You. Totally agree about using the dual screens during the combat. Totally. The World Ends With You [The Escapist] More »