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Far Cry 3 And The Stranger In A Strange Land Leave it to Yahtzee to make me feel bad about a game I spent over sixty hours exploring. I could have sworn I had thoroughly enjoyed myself back then, but now I’m not so sure. I suppose this is the double-edged sword of reviewing older titles. The week before last’s Painkiller review made me dig out my copy of that game, and now he has me pondering burying Oblivion.
Of course no one has that much power, and I never did complete that last Shivering Isles godhood quest…
Zero Punctuation [The Escapist]
Sorry for the hold-up! Here’s this week’s Zero Punctuation, which is taking on Square Enix’s DS title The World Ends With You. Totally agree about using the dual screens during the combat. Totally.
The World Ends With You [The Escapist]
Seemingly moments after The Escapist released this week’s Zero Punctuation video featuring 2004′s horror FPS Painkiller, Steam’s home page got an updated advertisement for the Gold Edition of the game, utilising Yahtzee’s astute insight into the biggest selling point of the title.
If they had originally marketed the game in a plain red box with the line “Includes guns that shoot shurikens and lightning” in big gold letters, Painkiller would have become the bestselling first-person shooter of all time.
Steam Home Page [Valve - Thanks Mascott!]
According to Yahtzee we are just now slipping into the Summer gaming drought, so rather than struggle to find a more recent game to review he’s gone and dug out 2004′s Painkiller, one of the best FPS games ever for folks that just want to kill some monsters. As Yahtzee points out, Painkiller not only lets you kill tons of bad guys, it also lets you do it in some very creative ways.
I’d actually like to see him review more old games. By the time he gets to the newer titles I’ve already paid, played, and weighed them. The retrospectives have nostalgia on their side, reminding me of a time when I didn’t feel I absolutely had to play everything that came out.
Zero Punctuation [The Escapist]
Well that was relatively fast, now wasn’t it? Yahtzee seems to have jumped on Grand Theft Auto IV just as quickly as the rest of the world, and for the most part he loves it, going as far as to inform us that he plans on playing it some more after the review is finished, which, as he says, is fucking unprecedented. He also seems to share my penchant for turning the cars in happy little circles whenever the handbrake is evoked, which eventually saw me resorting to the time-honoured bouncing off of things method of turning the car. I am beginning to find I enjoy Yahtzee’s reviews more the more I enjoy the game he is reviewing, whether he is positive or negative. Having said that, one of the best so far.
Apparently Yahtzee’s review of Super Smash Bros. Brawl received so much negative response that he decided to dedicate this week’s Zero Punctuation to you, his viewing public. More specifically, the members of his viewing public that saw fit to bombard him with letters about how wrong he was about his review. This sort of thing always amuses the hell out of me as you cannot tell someone that their opinion is wrong. You can try to change their opinion, but an opinion cannot technically be incorrect. You can disagree til the cows come home, but then why the hell are you living with cows? Exactly. I especially like the letter that asks how he can call them game reviews without a numerical score. How indeed.
What starts out as a pretty slow, actually not so funny take on God of War Chains of Olympus, turns to typical gold after Yahtzee seems to find his stride and knocks it out of the park again and again… as usual.
This week sees Yahtzee take on a subject that has been plaguing him for weeks, his fans. Specifically his fans who have been angrily demanding a Super Smash Bros. Brawl review since time began. Well here it is folks, and he isn’t exactly pleased with the way things turned out, though a great deal of the negativitiy seems to stem from where he decided to review it rather than the game itself. A fine job, with special thanks to GAMETRADERS ROBINA, but still only the second best video review of SSBB on the internets.
This week, Yahtzee officially reviews Condemned 2. And that’s great. But then, in the heat of passion, he breaks into a mini-review of Indigo Prophecy. Plus, if you really think about it, there’s actually a good amount of rhetoric on the original Condemned, too. So you are actually getting like 2 to 2 1/2 Zero Punctuations this week. And it’s all coming at you for a low, low price of just $US 100 an episode. Oh, didn’t you know? Then you’re fucked, man. But at least you get some steak knives (for only $US 8.95 S/H).
Zero Punctuation: Condemned 2: Bloodshot [The Escpaist]
While Yahtzee was a little bit late to squeeze into our No More Heroes Frankenreview, he still offers a pretty enjoyable review of the game, likening the experience to, among countless other colourful, non sequitur metaphors, Branston Pickle. Having never consumed Branston Pickle, I can only assume that this review is absolutely, utterly false in its conclusion. And as I don’t plan on visiting Branston’s home in England any time in the near future to try it (or even going to the shelf in any large chain store to buy it), I should live a life of blissful ignorance for some time.
Zero Punctuation: No More Heroes [The Escapist]
