Onee Chanbara R (Like, For Wii) Hands-On Impressions

oneechanbara_r_tgs.jpgD3 Publisher's slash-hit series Onee Chanbara does cowgirls in bikinis right. The amount of zombie eviscerating is arguably perfect. The gameplay? Ehhhh... So why not add an extra layer of sloppy controls to the Onee Chanbara formula courtesy of the Wiimote and nunchuk controller? That was, I assume, the thrust of the white board concept meeting at Onee Chanbara R's developer Tamsoft. The TGS demo certainly gets the core elements right, there's loads of pink juicy blood squirting at the camera and plenty of opportunities for our hero Aya to perform fan service acrobatics. But the Devil May Cry Lite action doesn't impress. At all.

It sounds great on paper, perform slashing and stabbing motions with both halves of the Wii controller, using each hand to control an arm. It quickly grows tiresome when battling not only hordes of creatures, but fighting the craptastic camera as well. Many sword moves were interpreted liberally resulting in plenty of pantie revealing cartwheels. Yes, that was a complaint.

Onee Chanbara has never actually played that well, but slogging through the Wii version at Tokyo Game Show was more torturous than before. The only salvageable portions of the game—the campy blood sprays, the eyeballing of Aya, the progressively goofy kudos you get ("Sensual! Bluster! Ace!")—they're pretty much wearing thin by now. However, I will say that a zombie desperate enough to kick my ass, even if he's comprised of nothing more than some hips and a pair of legs, still gets a LOL.

Those who avoided the PlayStation 2 and Xbox 360 iterations may want to check it out for a laugh, but anyone looking for an action game on par with something like Devil May Cry, Ninja Gaiden or God of War will be disappointed. Anyone looking for a thrill should probably just tap into the terabytes of free porn available on the Internet.


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