Tim reads Kotaku. Tim goes to college. Tim writes:
I went through a lot for this pumpkin. You see, because I couldn't find candles, I just threw a full can of lighter fluid, a couple of rags, and a match into this baby. Then it fell over and every fire alarm in my dorm went off.
Easy, Tim, you're going to get somebody killed! The rest of you, keep the pumpkins coming. No prizes or compensation on offer, mind, but you're too cool for that. We know all you really want/need is the INTERNET FAME.