The time has come. No more bullshit, no more trailers, no more promises. Next-gen is officially now-gen, as all the long-lusted, near-fabled releases are finally upon us. Since the Wii's launch, we've been treated to a few classic Nintendo franchises. But things just didn't feel right before the pudgy-but-steadfast plumber showed up and started kicking some arse...like he did in today's Frankenreview. So hit the jump to see why the critics loved Super Mario Galaxy so much, and what makes it so much more than another 3D platformer. GameSpy Super Mario Galaxy's graphics are out of this world. We've not seen such a beautifully vibrant game on the Wii. The strong use of bold colours married with the better-than-expected texturing makes for a great-looking game. It runs, as expected, very well at 480p in a 16:9 apsect ratio, and while a small part of us aches for a 720/1080p version of the game, we'll take what we can get. There's nothing else on the system that looks this good... NintendoWorldReport ...the pseudo-linearity, aided by the automatic camera, makes it possible for the game to go back to its 2-D platforming roots rather than the wide-open, but less interesting seek-and-find nature of prior games. Occasionally, a handful of Star Shards must be collected to progress, but there is nothing approaching the tediousness of the blue coin collecting in Super Mario Sunshine. Players will absolutely want to collect all of the Power Stars. GameSpot It helps that practically every stage in the game has a great deal of replayability purely on its own merits. These levels are just inherently fun to go back to again and again...comets will enter orbit in some of these galaxies, and thus change the way you play in some bizarre way. Whether it's speeding up all the enemies in an area, putting you on a timed run, or having you race against a doppelganger Mario, there's a nice variety of change-ups to experience. CVG Galaxy also plays around with gravity and physics like no Mario game before it. You'll flip gravity to navigate giant block mazes, use a planet's gravity to propel yourself to a new platform and shoot into the stars...no matter where you run or jump gravity will twist and pull you towards the planet, allowing you to run all the way around it and even jump to other planets by hopping into their gravitational pull... It's not as revolutionary as Mario 64, but it certainly re-defines what we expect from a 3D platformer. Eurogamer It's simply an explosion of inventiveness - a total rejection of the cookie-cutter. There's almost no way of knowing when you go into a level what it's going to look like, what you'll need to do, or how long it will take. One star will be a cheeky diversion, the next a five-stage epic of delight and adventure.Hmm...what can you say to all these near perfect reviews? Something cheesy. Like, Houston, your Mario Galaxy has landed on the Wii. No, actually that's horrible. But we'll leave it up as an example of what never to say when talking about the game.
Frankenreview, Super Mario Galaxy (Wii)
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Hello all you lust-macaques of the InterTubes, and welcome to Ask Dr. NerdLove, the only dating advice column that’s the strategy guide for your open world dating sim experience.
Story time! I went to an all-girls’ school. My friends and I had that special bond of closeness that apparently comes with synced-up periods and measuring the length of each other’s winter leg hair. This, obviously, led to a brief era of trying to catch one of the others unawares with the most impressive, most unexpected spank possible. We’re talking sneaking up behind each other in the hallway and laying one down that made the earth shake. If I couldn’t read your palm from the imprint, you weren’t doing a good enough job.