Ah, yes. Clueless columnist Kevin McCullough (pictured) is back. After spewing utter lies and nonsense from his piehole, he was met with the brunt end of the internet. He’s decided that making a fool of himself once is not enough. He’d like to do it again! So, he goes through point-by-point and tries to correct and explain claims he made about a game he obviously knows nothing about. From his site:
1. “The most realistic sex acts…” – from the YouTube footage I saw, I still concur, to me these acts are the most realistic put in video games – that I have seen. In the lesbian version one woman’s hand appears to stimulate the crotch of the other passing between the legs. Today many of the more perv-oriented gamer-nerds took delight in describing for me the detailed description of games they claim are MORE realistic… Ok fine, I’ll take them at their word, but for me the statement stands…
2. “One can custom design the shape, form, bodies, race, hair style, breast size of the images…” Evidently the only thing I got wrong on this was the breast size, though I would like someone to explain to me how the female characters end up having different sizes again on the YouTube footage I witnessed with my own eyes… But the rest of it was true. race, hair style, color – etc.
Holy crap! You can customise their race, hair style and color? Un-believable! Bet you can even customise the character’s name. More of this nonsense after the jump.
3. “…the video game “persons” hump in every form, format, multiple, gender-oriented possibility they can think of.” Again true (not that there are that many combinations of human sexuality to begin with.) But since the makers of Mass Effect decided to throw in a little alien booty both hetero and homo it seems to me that they covered the range. Would these gamer-nerds have preferred that the game included bestiality? Later in the column I make a reference to being able to perform sex acts, homo and hetero, with whomever… Ok – you can’t have sex with every single character in the game… But between copulating with Aliens, girl on girl, guy on guy, and according to my gamer-nerd friends who I checked with – it does not take a great deal of manipulation to add a few extra “kinks” to the mix for those who know a little bit about such things.
4. They (the gamer-nerds) also took outrageous umbrage to the claims I made in the column that the game is marketed to teen-age boys. (Though many of those giving me feedback happened to be under the age of 17/18.) The common argument is that because the game is marked “M” that means that no kid under 17/18 (depending on your state) would be allowed access to it. Asinine thinking through and through though. Simply like the fact that movie theaters are this night allowing children underage to purchase tickets, refusing to ask for ID, these games are being sold over the counter by the major chain stores with no enforcement of the age limit suggestions posted on the games themselves. The Gamer-Nerds act as though the packaging itself is all the responsibility that needs to be taken. Of course they themselves probably started hiding their collection of Hustler Magazine under their beds when they were eleven and have thus a good idea of how the “letter of the law” differs from the “intent.” Thus the explanation of why they were so sore with me for pointing out the obvious. The silly “M” label stands for, and accomplishes precious little.
5. The major criticism the Gamer-Nerds had for me in their reaction was this challenge: “Unless you’ve spent the 20 hours of game time it takes to get to the explicit scenes, keep your fat mouth shut!” Many challenges stated that unless I played it myself then I had no business pointing out its objectionably content. Would they say the same of a strip club at the end of their block or hookers knocking at their door? (Well maybe sexually repressed gamer-nerds would…) Normal people would not. There is an innate instinct that tells us right from wrong, it’s called a conscience. Did I play the game? No. Did I talk to some gamers who had and who knew the possibilities of the game. Yes! Does it make the lesbian, alien, hetero, homo sex that a player arrives at in the game a proper thing for teenagers to be tantalised by? Absolutely not!
There’s a whole page of this uninformed side-stepping over at Townhall.com. Read it if you like. Next week, Kevin McCullough writes about the pains of child labor, the plight of minorities and a buncha other stuff he knows fuck all about. Good for him.
Life Lessons [Townhall Thanks to all who sent this in!]