Teabagging In Our Schools

usedwetteabags.jpgBullying has come a long way since I was a kid - a small white boy in a mostly black neighborhood getting stuffed into trash cans after school. Arsehole children have to keep up with the times, and in Point Pleasant Beach New Jersey the physical and psychological abuse has taken on all-new, game-like qualities.

A group of boys has been involved in bullying others, and officials said their actions have included physical attacks, taunting and sexually harassing victims by making their crotches touch other boys' heads while fully clothed — something apparently inspired by the Halo video game series, in which players can perform a posturing move over a defeated enemy.

*rubs temples and sighs* Kids. I'm not sure how to put this. I almost wish the old GI Joe cartoon was still around, because the message would really hit home if delivered by Duke, Hawk, or Snake Eyes by way of some sort of electronic interpreter, followed by the rallying cry of, "Knowing is half the battle!", but here goes.

Don't put your crotches on other student's faces without their express and (if possible) written consent. It's fine in the context of a competitive video game, but real-life involuntary teabagging is wrong.

I used to be disappointed that I missed out on all of the cool video games and computer training the children today are growing up with, but a story like this kind of makes me glad. Sure, I was playing a square with a simplistic arrow fighting against a dragon that looked like a duck, but Adventure never led to someone's testicles rubbing against my forehead. At least not directly.

As for the bullies themselves? Just be careful. Those little guys you are picking on won't always be so little and weak. I grew a foot during the summer between 5th and 6th grade, and suddenly I wasn't such an easy target anymore - plus, the weaker kids are generally more intelligent, able to remember details much longer than the average bully, and are likely to hold a grudge. Hear that M. Bonds of Conshohocken Pennsylvania? Might wanna start giving those trash cans a wide berth.

School to approve bullying policy [Asbury Park Press]


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