Kill Uwe Boll in Postal 3

Postal 3 is shaping up.

I got a chance to check out the shooter at the Game Developers Conference yesterday with Running With Scissors founder Vince Desi and despite having only a rumoured three weeks to work on it, they were able to show me a small slice of the game.

In it the Postal Guy is in need of some cash, having moved to a new town after nuking the last one he was in, so he walks into a employment office and up to a bulletin board to find a job. The only listing available, when I saw the game, was for Environmental Maintenance Specialist at Ron's Porn World.

Running through the smallish town to the new job, Desi and his demonstrator showed off how the Valve Source Engine was working for them, pointing out how they were able to put quite a number of people in the street and get them to react to things, like being shot.

The Porn World itself, a big brick building topped with an enormous pair of naked breasts, was pretty sterile on the inside. Sure there were tables full of sex toys when you first walk in, but nothing shocking.

To earn money in the level gamers have to use a shop vac, which is strapped to their back, to suck up used tissues. Desi explains that the whole point of the level is to train gamers how to use their version of the gravity gun. The shop vac can suck up, up to 100 things and then shoot them out at people.

The game, Desi promises, will also have a number of other interesting weapons. The only other outlandish one I was shown was the Badger, which was literally a badger that could be wielded like a chainsaw to cut down people in hand-to-hand combat.

While Postal 3, like its predecessors, has plenty of ways to be violent, it still doesn't force you do go through the game killing people. In fact this time around Desi and his crew plan to let gamers decide if they want to take the path of the good or the bad. Desi said if you take the path of the good you can even land a job as a cop in the game. The bad path turns you into a terrorist or zealot of sorts, they said.

But the game really isn't about the violence, Desi says.

"We want people to laugh, it's an action adventure comedy," he said.

It also won't be about sex, despite the fact that the game will include the publisher's famously buxom Postal Babes.

"The Postal Babes are in the game, but they are going to kick ass... it's not that you're going to get a piece of ass," he said.

The Postal Babes won't be the only surprise appearance in the game. Desi says, he's working to get a half-dozen or so celebrities to OK likenesses for the game. While he wasn't ready to tell me who was on the short list he did confirm one person.

"Uwe Boll will be in the game," he said, "you can kill him."

The Postal Dude will stumble upon the reviled filmmaker while he is on location shooting a film in the town and you can sit and watch him work on his film (a process that involves single takes and not a lot of heavy lifting) or shoot things up, Desi said.

The game, which is being developed for the PC and Xbox 360, and considered for the PS3, likely won't be out until mid to late 2009, Desi said, adding that he is in talks now with possible publishers.


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