Germans Make The Worst Halo Jokes

Comics are terribly unfunny by default. Germans too. But this recent Halo-themed cartoon by German artist Marunde in the magazine "Hörzu" is so godawful, so bereft of comedy, we're thinking that whomever is responsible for issuing the world's humor licenses should revoke Germany's. Reader Max, who was nice enough to send in this black hole of laughter, translates for us.

Woman: "...Our new neighbour supposedly works at a company that develops videogames."
Man: "He definitely has a cool SUV/off-road vehicle."


If any of our readers who sprechen some Deutsch can help us figure out why this was deemed remotely funny by anyone, we'd definitely appreciate it. And if you can rewrite this particular comic, coming up with something that makes us laugh, we'll see if we can make it worth your while.


    Old Duck: "Huh, he saves the galaxy one, now he thinks he own the world."

    Man who eats a lot of Sausages: " Could he at least where a normal suit?"

    Old Duck: " He said it goes with the ride."

    Man who eats a lot of Sausages: "I bet it does."


    Old Duck: Do you think he knows that Samus is cheating on him?"

    Man who eats a lot of Sausages: I don't know, he looks pretty happy to me."

    Old Duck: "You would think the alian ship would give it away."

    Man who eats a lot of Sausages: "Lets just hope the Arbiter knows a death wish when he sees one."

    eh, i tried. Bring on the hate if u must.

    Puppys Rock!

    Every joke I think of is holocaust related :(

    Ok how can a HOLOCAUST mention make it through, yet Im somewhat BLOCKED everytime I even begin to type? Damn you Kotaku, you made my enemies list.

    Woman: "Why does that noob have to fly the banshee to work every morning? it's too loud, why cant he just drive the warthog?"

    Man: "Because it's powered by renewable energy, the warthog is too high in carbon emissions ...hey! wait a gosh darn minute ...that isnt a banshee! LOOK OUT MASTER CHIEF! ITS SAMUS ARAN DISGUISED AS A BANSHEE!!!"

    Woman: So, he made it back eh?
    Man: Yeah, I was hoping that he'd light out with the Pillar of Autumn.

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