Kimberly Jernigan isn't much of a dog person. Lions are more her speed. In fact one was her boyfriend. In Second Life, of course, but never mind, it felt real. And when the romance went down the crapper in their virtual world, it got even weirder in the real one. No surprise that someone ends up locked in the bathroom with their snout duct-taped shut. And probably not much of a surprise it wasn't either of the humans, but the dog.
Jernigan, say the cops, tried to kidnap her virtual ex/real-world nothing, a 52-year-old guy who played a lion in SL (she was human). And she tried to nab him not once, not twice, but three times (the second time, she didn't have his address. And she's a postal worker! Of course she is.)
But on her third try, driving up from North Carolina (God I love my peeps), for some reason she brought her dog, Gogi, who looks like a corgi mix. It's not a working breed, but even if it was I doubt "kidnapping humans" would be in the job description. Somehow Jernigan managed to cut a screen and get inside Mr. Lion's home, waiting for him to get home from work. But Gogi wouldn't stop barking, and so Jernigan bound the dog and locked him in the bathroom.
When Simba got home, she had a pair of handcuffs and a laser pointed at him. I guess the laser made things a little too kinky, because he bolted. She fled, leaving Gogi behind. Jernigan was captured at a turnpike rest stop in Maryland (the Chesapeake House. Been there many times, myself.) It would have been awesome if Something Awful had been listening to the police scanner and showed up with flying penises to grief the arrest. There's always the perp walk, I suppose.