So do the proud consoles die ... crucified, not on a cross of gold, but on a humble backyard poplar in Mechanicsville, Va.
Reader Daniel S. sent us this is from iReport -- the "citizen journalism" site CNN launched. Citizen Journalist Mum said Citizen Journalist Dad "repeatedly warned" Citizen Journalists Jr., III, and IV about "their behaviour" (I guess that doesn't mean rocket-jumping, PIT manoeuvres, or killing hookers) while playing the Xbox. Left unsaid, but if I know dads, there was probably some tired-of-it-all ultimatum along the lines of "I'm gonna nail the goddamn thing to a tree". And when their antisocial act-outs continued, he followed through.
As you can see, the Xbox did suffer a cruel scourging before its death. I'm guessing it was beaten with a crowbar, because that's its motherboard next to it. Dad's one medieval hard-arse. I don't think Vlad Tepes ever did anything so gratuitous as to crucify your guts next to your crucified corpse.
Also, the family PS2 asked to be crucified upside down so as not to be equated with its lord. ZING! Oh man, fundamentalists or fanboys. I wonder who will fill my inbox the fastest. Well, you know what they say, heaven for the weather, hell for the multiplayer.
A Costly Lesson [iReport.com, blame Daniel S., not me!]