Singer-songwriter-reader Mark illustrates the best way to get into the sweatpants of the Mario Kart-loving lady in your life. We're not talking about the yarn Waluigi moustache — it's the quiet storm ballad, silly.
Mark's "Mario Kart Love Song" may be simply titled, but his ability to weave blue shell sacrifice into romantic gesture... well, he's won our hearts. This is poet laureate level shit. Oh, and ending the romantic tune with "Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-Waluigi..." was a smooth move.