Fanboys are crazy. We hate them. They do make us snicker, so here is a fill-in-the-blank fanboy letter courtesy of game site Hardcasual.
It's supposed to be to a game company, but many of these lines echo online chatter. Unfortunately.
To the folks at [GAME COMPANY] , let me first say I've [-ED VERB]all your previous games. For years, I've pre-ordered every new [ORIGINAL GAME CO.]title from [GAME SHOP] , and I've appreciated the accompanying swag, particularly the [-ED VERB]edition [GAME CHARACTER]key chain. Unfortunately, the recent changes you've made to the [GAME]franchise have lost you a [NOUN] .
I know, I know, [THOUGHT TERMINATING CLICHÉ] . But how can you provide us with so many brilliantly localised [NATIONALITY][GENRE]games, titles with plenty of [ADJECTIVE]Menus and [ADJECTIVE]Inventory Systems, then 180 your lineup for a [CONSOLE]title featuring an adorable [ANIMAL]protagonist` and [NUMBER]mini-games?
[INTERJECTION] , I understand that [ORIGINAL GAME CO.] 's CEO, [CELEBTRITY GAME EXEC]hopes to [VERB]the casual market, but what about the [NOUN] -gamer? Why must you suddenly ape [MAINSTREAM GAME] , when your fans demand more titles like my favourite RPG [MEDIVAL TORTUER DEVICE]Dungeon [NUMBER] , or even the much demanded sequel to [COMIC]Vs. [OBSCURE FIGHTER] ?
I hope everyone who works for you [-S VERB] . I hope your parents, your friends and your [HYPOCRISTIC]hate you forever. You're all [PLURAL PEJORATIVE] .
Pull your [BODY PART]out of your [BODY PART] . [VERB]you, you [-ING VERB][VERB] . May you rot in [PLACE]
P.S. I've enclosed [CHEMICAL] . Die twice.
AD LIB LETTER FROM A FANBOY [Hardcasual]