Etiquette Check: How To Handle Xbox Friend Requests?

The wisdom of Kotaku's readership is requested. What's the right thing to do regarding repeat Xbox Live friend requests?

Taking a break from news and such for a moment, I turn to you readers of Kotaku for a question of etiquette. I have recently been receiving repeated friend requests from the same people. These are gamers who I don't know and who I think don't know each other. But the pattern is the same: A user will ask me to add them. I don't reply. They ask again. And again.

I now wonder if we can decide, as a community, what the proper manners are for all friend requests.

1) If someone sends you a friend request, must you reply?

What I do: If I know the person, I usually accept. But if I don't know them, I tend to not reply, which may be an obnoxious fault on my part. I probably should tell people that I'm not accepting requests or something like that. But, instead, if I get a request from someone who I don't know, I usually just don't reply.

2) If someone sends you repeated requests, should you reply?

What I do: Some of the people who contact me are not deterred by my lack of response. They send repeated requests, sometimes more than once a day. I once blocked someone because of this, but I felt like that was obnoxious. I figure people will get the message that I'm not interested. But maybe it'd be wiser to send a polite note to the person. If so, what should it say?

If you have your own Xbox Live Etiquette questions, add them here and maybe we can come to a consensus.


    Good point, usually I don't accept random friend requests and I agree with you, that not acknowledging these usualy gets the message across. Thankfully I am not popular enough to get repeated requests.

    My problem has only surfaced more recently with Trials HD. You see the issue I am now faced with is that you can only share user generated content with friends so more and more I have been receiving requests from so called random people, but when I review their profile i see Trials and usually accept. I guess we will both view each others tracks for a while but these are more of aquaintines and I will delete after a time.

    Good question though.

    I hate it when people add you on any service (msn etc) without telling you who they are, it's just rude.

      I agree - I'll only ever add someone to my friends list if I actually know them, so not knowing who is trying to get a friend request is frustrating. Normally I'll send a message asking who the person is - if I don't know them, I decline the friend request.

    It depends,

    If it's your own personal account... feel free to ignore it.
    But if it's run on behalf of an organisation...

    For example: KotakuAu is run , I'm imagining, on behalf of this website... and the people who read it are like minded individuals, with at least one similar interest.

    Just block your friends list so nobody can see it (or only friends) and then tell them your friends list is full.

    I just wish Microsoft would add a function where you can add your own line or two of comment to people on your friends list - only viewable by yourself - to help keep track of who the f-- all these people are.

    Eg I'd like to aid my memory by adding a note to "xxDRAGONLORDLOLxxx" which would say "Bob from accounts" or some other goddamn clue as to his real identity and why he's on my friends list.

    Too often I go through my list and cry aloud "WHO THE HELL AREEEEEE THESE PEOPLE!" then I kick a Persian mailman into a well in slow motion.

    I'll add or accept with someone I had a couple of good games with on some random game. Sometimes a nub will add because I wasn't a total ass and I'll usually accept.

    I'd reciprocate with the same amount of effort put into initiating this social exchange.

    If someone in 'real life' was to ask to be your friend it would require much effort and social risk on their part. Hence it would be highly rude and maybe a bit mean to ignore them.

    On-line, it takes no effort to be ask to be a friend. Did they write you a message introducing themselves? No? Then reciprocate with the same effort and ignore it. You have my blessing.

    I always laugh at the people out there who play an online game with you like COD, don't bother to interact with you, don't even put their headset in to say hello... and then send you a friend request? Instant delete from me.

    Unless you're a chick lol

      chicks rule.

      btw this might be a great chance to say:
      gamertag= dmanwhat

Join the discussion!

Trending Stories Right Now