WIN! A Badass Borderlands Xbox 360 Prize Pack

112 responses to “WIN! A Badass Borderlands Xbox 360 Prize Pack”

1. 

   Chuloopa

   October 21, 2009 at 10:27 am

   Lol nice one..

   here’s todays for me:
   ——-
   P.C.F.C. Mk 1 (Pop Culture Fad Cannon)

   The PCFC is a specially designed instrument of death that emits a high powered beam of energy that literally flays the flesh (or steel exoskeleton) off the bones (or circuits) of, and only of, Pop Culture icons and fads.
   It works via sensors that detect an air of arrogance and self worth that generally surrounds all Pop Culture alumni. A pop culture “aura” if you will. It then locks in and triggers a reaction that causes instantaneous death to the intended target. By instantaneous I mean slow and excruciating.
   Such advanced technology renders the ray harmless to regular or less popular individuals, as they don’t emit the same ‘aura’ pattern, mainly due to their crushed spirits and willingness to die anyway lest they suffer another day of mediocrity. Therefore the ray would have no effect on you or me or the cast of gladiators.

   However, the sheer amount of things and people it will disintegrate is far more impressive, and lets face it, most of the enemies you come across in games/life are already some form of nazi-robot-ninja-pirate-zombie anyway. All massive Pop Culture exploitables! This list includes:
   Nazis, ninjas, pirates, zombies, robots, teenage mutant ninja turtles, Mr. T, E.T, Booker T, Ice T, Vanilla Ice, Mario, Sonic, Rick Astley, Rick Moranis, David Bowie, Yo-Yos, Pogs (tazo to us Aussies), Furbie, Transformers, Godzilla, Mothra, Devo, Queen, Gary Coleman, Alf and the entire cast of south park just to name but a few.

   Also, while most people dismiss this as a ugly rumour, it’s also the only gun in the known universe that Chuck Norris actively fears.

   Reply
   1. 

      Dave The Hat

      October 21, 2009 at 12:30 pm

      The Portable Pay Wall Cube of Oblivion.

      From acclaimed philanthropist and new-media guru Rupert Murdoch comes the cube that fits in your backpack AND fills your wallet!

      Simply throw the area-affect PPWCO0 (Pee-Pee-Wah-Coo!) towards your intended target and viola! They will be shrouded in digitially enhanced restriction net that prevents them from interacting with the current world…unless they pay your preset subscription fee!

      Featuring the International Red Cross Tick of Human Rights Approval, the target will simply remain in a state of nano-particle induced confusion as they try to navigate their way through a series of annoying subscription forms and spam filters in a bid to get back to the ‘main article’ – you.

      In the meantime you can happily go about your own business, be it emptying the trash (!) or like many modern Post Apocalyptic adults, relaxing on a comfortable banana lounge.

      Worried you have a high roller on your hands? Why not try PPWCOO Platinum!

      – erect multiple paywalls around your enemies!
      – includes pop up ads and ‘Link Disorientation’ for even more wallet stuffing!

      Protect your most valuable live content – you – with the PPWCOO!

      Reply
   2. 

      Nathaniel Morgan

      October 21, 2009 at 4:33 pm

      My weapon of choice?

      A sturdy pair of knife-boots. Ever tried walking in a hot desert without shoes? The heat is blistering. If you did it for any length of time, you’d end up with rotting burnt up stumps. Pretty useless for walking.

      Now, what if an enemy gets too close? Shooting him can be problematic if your gun is too large, Especially when he has a knife or some other implement (Barbeque fork, wet fish, a pillow etc). I’ve solved this problem by having a spring loaded blade hidden in the sole of the boots. Push a button with your toe and presto! A knife stick out the end of your boot! If you’re caught at camp with your shoes off, you could even jam your hand in there and pretend to be Edward Boot-Hands. Great for walking on your hands if you’re into that kind of thing.

      Explosive shoe lace sold seperately.

      Reply
2. 

   DavidR

   October 21, 2009 at 10:31 am

   A Johnny Cage gun.

   It’s a gun that shoots Johnny Cages.

   Reply
3. 

   Ben Latimore

   October 21, 2009 at 10:32 am

   The Double-Barreled Shotgun Katana

   Got enemies lining up in front of you to take a meal or twenty? No problem! Stab the first enemy, then watch the tip of the katana blast off in a flash of light and kill the rest. Satisfaction guaranteed.

   Reply
4. 

   INSERT COIN 1P

   October 21, 2009 at 10:37 am

   “The Colonel Sanders”

   Using the Colonels 11 herbs and spices, the weapon appley named “The Colonel Sanders” will deliver a devastating amount of damage by (coating them in the 11 herb and spice mix which inturns lessens there ability to move) Without killing them!

   “The Colonel Sanders” secondary fire mode will launch extremely hot cooking oil at the enemy dealing a huge amount damage by frying them to a crsipt bit of meat. The benefit of this is eating the meat restores your health

   i would call that finger licking good 🙂

   Reply
5. 

   kaiden

   October 21, 2009 at 10:48 am

   Heaven’s Drill.

   It’s a gun with a spiral drill! (google gurren lagann) hold the trigger and the drill spins round and round and round and round and round some more, gradually getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger until it becomes the biggest badass drill that will splatter all your enemies and can destroy the entire world if you want it to. Rumor has it if you point it up in the air for long enough… it will even pierce the heavens.

   Reply
6. 

   James

   October 21, 2009 at 10:52 am

   The Microwave Nachos

   Easily found at any late night service station, the Microwave Nachos look innocent enough, but when heated they become a terrifying weapon.

   Laid down like a landmine, those poor enough to be lured in by the Nachos’ alluring and noxious scent will be assaulted with a great number of ailments.

   The lava-like imitation-cheese burns the victims fingers, mouth and throat while the dry and stale chips cut and scratch savagely at the victim’s insides until he or she can either put down the punishingly tasty snack or (god forbid) finish it completely.

   The victim is left demoralized with a self-loathing sense of ‘Why the hell did I eat that?’ after which the bochelism sets in, bringing about a slow and painful death.

   The Microwave Nachos also comes with two alt-fire modes; sour cream and guacamole.

   Reply
7. 

   Gordon Mackenzie

   October 21, 2009 at 10:57 am

   The Designator
   this little bueaty is just like it sounds – a laser designator. Specialy formulated for Co-op this device can be used by the team’s best marksman to paint targets. While it dosn’t doo any damage directly it means that any bullets fired by up to three allies will go exactly where it’s pointing! great when playing with complete noobs!*

   * use by n00bs may result in being kicked from game for making everyone miss constantly.

   Reply
8. 

   cam

   October 21, 2009 at 10:57 am

   a revolver with a 6×12 scope a laser sight that locks onto the enemy and it shoots mini nukes the size of a penci

   Reply
9. 

   prplCar0t

   October 21, 2009 at 11:13 am

   The “Panicake”

   Primary Fire: Pan cakes

   Secondary Fire: syrup

   basically you’ll wanna hit your target with couple of primary shots in the face so they can’t see then secondary the hell out of the ground in front of them, they’ll slip like granny in the shower…. “I’ve had a bit of a tumble” they will cry.

   Reply
10. 

    H2Yo

    October 21, 2009 at 11:13 am

    “Fender Strato-Rifle”

    A primary weapon shaped like a guitar, light and versatile for most combat situations.

    Primary Fire: This weapon shoots electrified munitions at incredible speeds; based on rail technology each round can penetrate the sturdiest of armours.

    While firing, the gun will play Cliffs of Dover, causing 4 minute stun damage as the enemy basks in the awesomeness of Eric Johnson.

    Alt Fire: This weapon has a bottom mounted flechette launcher known as the Solo Shredder. Activated by what resembles a whammy bar, the Solo Shredder will slice and dice any living thing within close proximity.

    Reply
11. 

    Dean Henderson

    October 21, 2009 at 11:16 am

    The Big Red Button

    This will not make it into the final game as there is quite a bit of resentment in the Borderlands community about it being the weapon that got them into this mess in the first place.

    Reply
12. 

    David O’Neil

    October 21, 2009 at 11:17 am

    Alright, I’ll give this a shot!
    —————————————————-
    C.O.L.D System

    The C.O.L.D system is now available for personal use! Due to recent societal breakdown and global inability to police companies – our system is now available to (high-paying) consumers!

    The Considerably Overpowered Light Directing system allows you to simply indicate your target on our easy to use interface device and simply lay back while that target is incenerated by the redirectied and focused power of all-mighty sun! (Which, incidently, puts it in the category of ‘Environmentally Friendly’. Want to remain carbon neutral while laying waste to enemies? C.O.L.D is for you!)

    By slipping large amounts of fluid funds to certain underpaid governmental organisations of yesterday, our company was able to integrate a weapon capable of unlimited destruction into a certain space station! Under the guise of a very large toaster, the weapon remained in hiding until it could be fully utilised in the wasteland of today!

    So why wait? You could be devastating enemies, their families or even unsuspecting elderly in true Hollywood style today!

    Reply
13. 

    Silencer

    October 21, 2009 at 11:21 am

    WD-40 cannon:

    Nothing unrusts jammed weapons and vehicles than this baby. For ideal use, please shake 203 times before applying.Perfect for post-apocalyptic and barren conditions.
    Can also be used to spray in the eyes of enemies for a quick dash with their loot !

    Reply
14. 

    AgingGamer

    October 21, 2009 at 11:28 am

    “Flannelet launcher”

    When fired wraps all enemies up in a flannelet shirt, which instantly attracts a crowd of Bogans, who proceed to kill the unfortunate victim with loud AC/DC music and empty bottles of JB & Coke.

    Has a convenient secondary fire mode which launches a FORD flag at the enemy and attracts angry HOLDEN supporters who bombard the assailant with various pieces of merchandise and full cans of VB.

    Reply
15. 

    DanielC

    October 21, 2009 at 11:29 am

    The Atkinson:

    If you hit them with this bad boy, you won’t blow off any limbs or spill a drop of blood, because the body will disintegrate before it hits the ground.

    Positive Modifiers include a +3 to Appeal Process, so MAYBE one day the body will reappear in pieces, but by then you will have moved on.

    There are no negative modifiers because that may affect the Vulnerable Adults class.

    Reply
16. 

    hodlum

    October 21, 2009 at 11:31 am

    The Space Maker

    A serious problem of wandering the borderlands collecting loot is the sheer amount of useless loot you will pick up, leading to inevitable downtime sorting through your inventory.

    No Longer!

    The Space maker combines a handy portable trash compactor and a extremely oversized blunderbuss.

    Using whatever you decide to put into it, from vendor trash to crappy guns to the ninja looted epic item you need to get rid of quickly, the Space maker quickly turns the garbage you don’t want into a hailstorm of recycled death your enemies fear!

    Reply
17. 

    ROM

    October 21, 2009 at 11:32 am

    Gun? I don’t need no stinking gun I am da Reaper baby.
    Who??
    Oh them.
    On second thoughts gimme the BFG thanks. You don’t have one??
    Ok, how do i get outa this dump?

    Reply
18. 

    Barry White

    October 21, 2009 at 11:39 am

    the inverter

    based of transporter technology that went horrible wrong. it turns the target inside out just giving the target enough time to see what the back off his head looks like before his brain hits the floor, also very handy for peeling oranges and other citrus fruit.

    Reply
19. 

    Baa

    October 21, 2009 at 11:40 am

    The Mini Norris

    What else do you need to survive the waste lands than your very own Mini “Chuck Norris”

    Measuring in at a compact 3″2, this Mini Norris is ultra portable and functions just like the real thing!

    Fact: The Mini Norris boasts an impressive 88 Kazillion ways to cause Harm and/or Death

    Fact: There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

    Fact: Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

    For a limited time only you will also receive a copy of the best seller Against All Odds by Chuck Norris as well as your very own Chuck Norris starter beard (availible in mens and womens sizes).

    Call now and for 10 easy payments of $99.95 all this could be yours.

    Reply
20. 

    Peiman

    October 21, 2009 at 11:45 am

    Chuck Norris is GOD!

    Reply
21. 

    Doug Sherry

    October 21, 2009 at 11:47 am

    Gell-o-gun

    Are you tired of fighting the seemingly endless waves of bloodthirsty adversaries bent on your destruction, leaving little time for joy in your life?

    Then the Gell-o-gun is perfect weapon for you!

    The Gell-o-gun:
    A revolutionary device with a sophisticatedly simple intention, to alter the targets limbs into a gelatinous form. Followed by the ensuing hilarity of birds falling out of the sky, raiders biting the dust and watch as that giant scrag that has been pissing you off, goes arse over tit.

    Be one of the first hundred callers and we will throw in a special jelly adaptor: that when attached converts the residue left from firing into a delectable jelly with a flavour of your choice.

    Pay by credit card and we’ll also send you a second Gell-o-gun. You heard right we’ll send you not one but TWO Gell-o-guns all for the low, low price of a single Gell-o-gun.

    Be the envy of all your friends – call now!

    Reply
22. 

    Nathan Leggett

    October 21, 2009 at 11:48 am

    iGun 2.0

    A lighter less powerful version of the M240B machine gun, this machine gun was designed and put into production after many soldiers (who were rumored to wear skirts) complained the original M240B was too powerful for them to handle.

    The name originated from a Sgt S.Dimwit after winning a competition set by the U.S Army in 2009 to come up with a name for the new gun.

    In 2010 a court battle erupted between the U.S Army and the then popular Apple company over the name of the Gun.
    In 2012 the two companies came to a settlement and it was agreed that a joint production of the iGun would benefit both sides.

    The iGun 2.0 now comes in 5 fantastic colors with built in MP3 player and camera.

    Reply
23. 

    Elephant Fresh

    October 21, 2009 at 11:50 am

    “The Rhonda Burchmore”

    Why attempt to kill your misshapen, petroleum coveting enemies, when you can have them kill themselves!

    Announcing our new short to medium range annoyance system “The Rhonda Burchmore”. Just let her out of the specifically designed (and easily transported) cage and Ronda will do the rest! Your enemies will rush to end their lives when they lay eyes on that 60 year old carcass attempting to shimmy around. Best of all, if the dancing doesn’t get them, then the singing will! We don’t know about you, but hearing “Hey Big Spender” sung 700 times in a row would make us consider the after life.

    The Rhonda Burchmore – all the pro’s of a redheaded step child, in a conveniently transported and released package.

    Reply
24. 

    Dominic Harman

    October 21, 2009 at 11:50 am

    The Honourable Mention Gun – While certainly not the best gun to be found in the wastes, it packs a fair punch and makes you proud to have it. Sure, occasionally you will stare at it in minor shame knowing that it isn’t the best gun out there, but in moments such as these it is just important to pat yourself on the back and recognise the fact that you still have a quality gun. Key features of this gun include its encouragement to find a better gun and its random selection of songs that will play at various moments including “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” and “I Can See Clearly Now.”

    Reply
25. 

    Jeremy Hayne

    October 21, 2009 at 11:56 am

    The Voice

    Emits the soothing, sultry sounds of John Farnham’s “The Voice” at an extremely high pitch and frequency.

    When fired at enemies, they will become disorientated and believe you have retreated. Once they drop there guard, you are able make a “comeback tour” on their face.

    Reply
26. 

    Ben Scott

    October 21, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    The Magma Shot aka the Junkverter

    A large (two handed) cylindrical weapon with the front part a typical gun nozzle while the back part contains a large empty cavity as well as the trigger and handle. The weapons fire is akin to a water pistol releasing concentrated liquid heat enough to burn flesh and roadblocks, vehicles other things that need to be destroyed to wander the wasteland.

    Ammo is gathered by the large cavity being filled with an assortment of metals, rocks and in general junk which would be easily found in the post apocalypses.

    Upon filling the cavity with junk, it then closes up and begins to crush all the junk to make it small enough to fit into a long tube located in the weapon. Using the natural heat and radiation generated by the earth, it superheats the junk without compromising the shape or structure of the actual weapon (so no fear of the heating actually destroying the weapon).

    By superheated junk now functions as a steady stream of liquid fire which can be used to survive or prevent others from surviving.

    Reply
27. 

    Jo

    October 21, 2009 at 12:14 pm

    The 9-5

    This nefarious mind altering device transports the target’s consciousness into the mind of a 20th century office worker.

    Into the space of each second will be compressed a years worth of repetitive tedious tasks and endless purposeless struggle for recognition in an unfeeling machine.
    As mere seconds pass he will feel a lifetime of hopelessness as empty changeless years are experienced in his head, his accomplishments pathetic beside the all encompassing failure of mediocrity.

    Age sets in, crippling and soul crushing as he is shunted aside, forgotten.
    As he looks back from his deathbed upon a wasted and meaningless existence and the knowledge that he has achieved nothing with the life he has been given,
    the culminating explosion of despair ruptures the targets brain cells, releasing his soul to the comparatively green fields of hell.

    Reply
28. 

    Hayden

    October 21, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    yo momma.

    Reply
29. 

    DanMazin

    October 21, 2009 at 12:16 pm

    “The Melephant”

    Combining one of the most powerful and noble beasts of the African wasteland with the newest advances in technological bastardisation, the Melephant is a living, breathing fortified media post for a time when the control of information is the often forgotten key to survival and success in the wastelands.

    Equipped with a substantial antennae array on its back, the Melephant has the capacity to intercept 90% of nearby radio, television and communication signals and has the capacity to broadcast its own audio/video feeds for up to 200km (youtube/facebook access is an optional extra). The Melephant also features a camo-projection defence system to keep its presence a secret from nearby bandits and other less scrupulous individuals.

    Unfortunately the wasteland has many more hazards than just bandits, yet thanks to the wonders of evolution the Melephants own survival instincts are more than enough for it to defend itself from any attacking Skags or wasteland creatures. And in the rare occasion that you encounter something that you feel that the Melephant simply can not handle on its own, than the twin mounted gattling guns should do a good job of turning any would-be assailants into a messy pile of gibs.

    Last but not least, the eco-friendly wastlander out there can rest assured that the Melephant is powered off a revolutionary combination Solar/Fecal-Methane Generator, meaning that not only will it reduce the harm to the environment, but you’ll never need to refill or maintain this baby like you do those unreliable and filthy trucks and tanks. In the unlikely chance that your Melephant does take a big hit and breaks down (tough they may be, but not invincible), then it will still be good for at least 3 months worth of a-grade elephant meat – its the investment that keeps on giving!!!

    Due to the exceedingly rare amount of African Elephants still in existence, supply of the Melephant is extremely limited, so order yours today!!

    Reply
30. 

    Salvadore Martin

    October 21, 2009 at 12:20 pm

    A Treu-Bastier (Purposely Misspelled)

    With all these modern day weapons left into the barren wasteland. You wish you had-’em all!WELL,LOOKS NO FURHER!With a Treu Bastier You never have to look along searching for those weapons. With a Solar Radius Compass equipped the weapon will Instantly suck up the weapon into your inventory. It also gives you 300+ every stat in the game. This weapon takes over 9000 FFJ Bullets to be activated. It can be used as a Shotgun, Sniper-Rifle, and a Tank. But in you order now in Real Life we will grant You anything in the game even give you infinite girl friends, a pat on the back by the head developer of Border-Lands, and A Autograph cookie

    Get one know. 1200 Pounds or 1,000,000 American Dollars or… 21 Border-Lands dollars

    Reply
31. 

    Andy Te

    October 21, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    GN Spam Cannon & Gundam Designator

    Powered by a GN Drive (google GN Drive) you can spam this weapon as long as you want without fear of reloading or running out of ammo. This weapon also comes with GN submachine guns attached increasing its firepower and can be used as a blunt weapon for close-quarter encounters

    Also comes with a Gundam Designator where you can summon an army of gundams (any gundam you can think of) or the Psycho Gundam Mk2 and decimate your enemies

    Reply
32. 

    Will

    October 21, 2009 at 12:29 pm

    EBGames has broken street date (at least in Melbourne) so go get yourself a copy a couple of days early.

    Reply
33. 

    Jickle

    October 21, 2009 at 12:36 pm

    The Ghettoblaster

    Sometimes, when you’re representing in the valley and radioactive mutants ‘n whatnot be all up in your grill, you just gots to blast your tunes. When you blast dem fat beats (including M.C. Apocolypto’s ‘Bitches Ain’t Nuttin’ No Mo’ (Cos They Was All Killed By Giant Monsters ‘N Shit)’, suckers all up and down Pandora be bustin’ themselves to yo mad beats. Funkin’ themselves to death, damn foolish of them. Shiiiiiiiet. You be collectin’ the mad bling dem suckas leave behind and jivin’ off on yo’ way. Word.

    Reply
34. 

    GreenLego

    October 21, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    The Impregnator

    Instantly makes the target pregnant, causing onset of immediate morning sickness (vomitting, easy to be irritated, emotional, non-rational thinking)

    Doesn’t differentiate gender, so both genders are suitable targets.

    The target won’t be able to function for the next 9 months.

    Comes with a free selection of ‘ammo’ or can supply your own ‘ammo’.

    Reply
35. 

    Grim

    October 21, 2009 at 12:50 pm

    Banhammer
    Unlike it’s little brother of the same name, this Banhammer does not ban trolls of the internet. It bans their prime source of food (Video games).

    Inflicts critical damage on Australian and Valve-type enemies.

    Primary Attack: Misinformed Swing
    Brings the Banhammer down in an overhead swing, taking all the fun out of your life. Common effects include the removal of sex, gratuitous violence and addictive drugs.

    Secondary Attack: Carebear Slam
    Fixes all of the targets issues, only to find the old target imported from overseas and in the hands of Australian-type enemies.

    High chance to cause dissent and petitions.

    Cannot be wielded by characters 18+, because the Banhammer can’t be bothered to implement the coding.

    Reply
36. 

    k’Fox

    October 21, 2009 at 12:50 pm

    The RRoD (Red Ring of Death) Gun

    Something working that you wish didn’t? Now, you can cause it to malfunction with the RRoD gun on purpose.
    Regardless of it having the state of the art anti-crashing/anti-malfunctioning circuitry, if it uses a CPU, it will crash with this beaut of a device. Even Ironman or Master Chief will be at your mercy with the RRoD gun.
    And if you manage to spot a PS3, Wii or 360 during your journey, don’t forget to give them a nice RRoD wave and have it crash in a crazy RRoD way and turn it into a useless paper weight.

    Usage Warning: If you plan on disabling an AK or a crossbow with this gun, don’t forget to point it into someone’s eye unless you actually have a death wish.
    And Yes, if you use this gun on itself, it will ruin the gun.

    Reply
37. 

    Benny

    October 21, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    The iGun Touch

    Upon finding this unassuming little device you immediately become one of the “in” crowd. When you have the iGun equipped enemies view you as one of their own and want to tell you about the cool new ammo they just found.

    Area of effect 1m per level, stun +5sec per level

    Reply
38. 

    andrew

    October 21, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    CupOJoe, weapon augment
    Allows extended energy, and faster reflexes.
    Please note, we take no responsibility for a frient being shot in the face due to your increased jitteriness

    Reply
39. 

    Funky J

    October 21, 2009 at 12:56 pm

    The “Just Friends” gun.

    This gun shoots at your enemies the person of their dreams, who then flirts and teases them, showing themselves off as perfect potential partner material.

    But then when the enemy move in to close the deal with a kiss, they get rebuffed with the words “I like you and all, but I just want to be friends”.

    This will cause your enemy to get into a deep funk, in which they will listen to awful music, write even worse poetry, and eventually grow old and fat and alone, pining for something they can never have.

    For extra effectiveness, you can add the “I like your friend” rifle scope, which will make the dream person fall madly in love with your enemies’ best friend.

    Enjoy as your enemies writhe in internal agony as they watch their best friend and perfect partner get married, have children, divorce, and then when s/he thinks they’re in with another chance, they find another friend to date.

    Reply
40. 

    fricanature

    October 21, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    My perfect weapon would defiantly be radioactive acid spit. I mean who who wouldn’t want to kill their enemy by spitting on them? Its both degrading to them and gives them an unhealthy dose of radiation while burning through their organs. Because nothing says “I hate you” more than spitting on a dead body- well nothing except spitting on a live one.

    Reply
41. 

    PeterE

    October 21, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    The Rumble Bum Gun

    If the ominous sound of this one doesn’t have your foes running in panic, the low level ultrasonic wave it produces will cause embarrassing and unavoidable bowel movement for anyone caught in the blast.

    Even better than catching them with their pants down is catching them with their pants up! I don’t know about you, but I’d find having a rumble down under rather distracting when trying to return fire!

    Reply
42. 

    Glenn

    October 21, 2009 at 1:11 pm

    Fans of Tenacious D might appreciate this entry:

    “Tribute”
    [Spoken]
    This is the greatest and best gun in the world… Tribute.

    Long time ago me and my brother Kyle here,
    we was hitchhikin’ down a long and lonesome road.
    All of a sudden, there shined a shiny Claptrap… in the middle… of the road.
    And he said:
    [Sung]
    “Show me the best gun in the world, or I’ll eat your soul.”
    [Spoken]
    Well me and Kyle, we looked at each other,
    and we each said… “Okay.”
    [Sung]
    And we grabbed the first gun in our inventory,
    Just so happened to be,
    The Best Gun in the World, it was The Best Gun in the World.

    Needless to say, the beast was stunned.
    Whip-crack went his Whoopy tail,
    And the beast was done.
    He asked us: “(beep) Be you angels?”
    And we said, “Nay. We are but Fortune Hunters!.”
    Rock!
    Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah,
    Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!

    This is not The Greatest Gun in the World, no.
    This is just a tribute.
    Couldn’t find again The Greatest Gun in the World, no, no.
    This is a tribute, oh, to The Greatest Gun in the World,
    All right! It was The Greatest Gun in the World,
    All right! It was the best muthaf***in’ Gun the greatest Gun in the world.
    [Spoken]
    And the peculiar thing is this my friends:
    the Gun we showed on that fateful night it didn’t actually look
    anything like this Gun.
    [Sung]
    This is just a tribute! You gotta believe it!
    And I wish you were there! Just a matter of opinion.
    Ah, f***! Good God, God lovin’,
    So surprised to find you can’t stop it.

    Reply
43. 

    Charlie

    October 21, 2009 at 1:12 pm

    The Orange Gun

    When you’re down and out and stuck in the wasteland, nothing is more valuable or useful to you than the Orange Gun.

    Knowing your weapon of choice has been manufactured by hand, usually by a father and son team, adds to the overall feel of goodness the Orange Gun provides. Just think, your weapon is building relationships, an inspiring thought. And if you can’t purchase one, with some pvc pipe and a net of navels, you’re halfway there.

    Wasteland scurvy will be a problem for you no more. The Orange Gun is good in the morning when you need a little Vitamin C, and also in the evening when wasteland prowlers need a little valencia upside their head.

    Some complain about the slow rate of fire, each shot needing to be individually primed with a spray can, but what’s the rush? Life’s too fast, stop and smell the citrusy goodness that comes with every orange loaded.

    So load up with an Orange Gun today, the most violent, friendly, colourful and nutritious weapon on the planet.

    Reply
44. 

    TailSwallower

    October 21, 2009 at 1:23 pm

    Atlas JK13 Flamidget Thrower

    When faced with the dilemma of the hordes of psychotic midgets roaming about Pandora, Atlas Corporation were determined to not just eliminate these little terrors, but to instead harness them – for fun and profit.

    The JK13 Flamidget Thrower is a two-stage propulsion system expertly engineered for easy wielding.
    The first stage consists of the ammunition clip – a shoulder-mounted cage where you can easily and hygienically store the wastrel midgets that you find on your journeys. When you pull the trigger on your Flamidget Thrower one of your stored midgets is shunted into…
    The second stage is a shallow reservoir full of Atlas Brand Patented Orange-Flavoured Napalm, where your midgets will quickly bathe before being shot out the barrel via the award-winning Atlas Corporation First Strike ™ Pilot Light.
    The Flamidget Thrower has also been laboratory tested to ensure that your midget will die on target and not before; That’s our guarantee!

    (Bad taste for sure, but Gearbox went there first…)

    Reply
45. 

    Haso

    October 21, 2009 at 1:26 pm

    The Dick Cheney.
    (Elephant gun/blunderbus)
    Can shoot anything and only draws minimal agro, relatively low damage though.
    also can’t target ducks..

    Reply
46. 

    Aaron

    October 21, 2009 at 1:26 pm

    The cricket from men in black. 😀

    Reply
47. 

    Jordan Diets

    October 21, 2009 at 1:27 pm

    i look forward to this release and HOPEFULLY winning! 😀

    Reply
48. 

    Shane

    October 21, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    The Console War Maker

    A weapon that causes the enemy’s to suck off their xbox 360 controller until it PS3’s all over it’s Wii.

    The enemy will experience severe depression after wards.

    Reply
49. 

    Shaun Hing

    October 21, 2009 at 1:46 pm

    The Review Board

    Smite your enemies with the power of bureaucracy! Out in the wastes of Pandora, all you’ll ever need to survive against the myriad of foes is the latest from the Omnipresent Flailing Limb Consortium – The Review Board!

    In keeping with the random weapon variants so prevalent on Pandora, the Review Board carries new AG-SA Technology that instantly scans your opponents on contact for any weaknesses. Once detected, the Review Board promptly delivers a massive blow, crippling anything it comes into contact with.

    Such awesome power much come with a price, however. The devastating abilities of the Review Board can be temperamental at best, and down-right inconsistent at worst. And it has been known to cause substantial collateral damage by delivering excessive damage to undeserving targets.

    But, in the badass, cell-shaded, post-apocalyptic world of Pandora, too much unwieldy power is never enough!

    Reply
50. 

    Burdo

    October 21, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    The Limited Edition Hyper Mega Super Advance Plus Gamma Omega Cannon.

    Purpose: It’s the same as all the other billions of guns. Only better.

    Reply
51. 

    Anon

    October 21, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    Skag-on-a-Stick

    Its a skag. Tied to a stick.
    You hit people with it, and they die.
    ’nuff said.

    Reply
52. 

    Daniel Purvis

    October 21, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    Sock full of quarters

    You’ve been shot, left to bleed out and your friends have stolen all the loot, spare the shirt on your back and a pocket full of bottle caps and quarters. Pull off a sweaty, stinkin’ yellow sock, full of blister husks and encrusted puss, empty your pockets and start swinging.

    The sock doubles as both a short-range melee weapon and long range status attack: (1) either sneak up on the enemy downwind and sock ’em in the back (pun intended), or (2) approach upwind as the stench has a 40% chance to K.O. all caught in the wake.

    Caution: there’s little dignity to be had in hopping into the town square, and movement speed is reduced by half.

    Reply
    1. 

       Chuloopa

       October 21, 2009 at 4:55 pm

       That is so wrong… yet so so great… i believe i am defeated dear squire!
       Simple, yet effective

       Reply
53. 

    mr tibbs

    October 21, 2009 at 2:32 pm

    The Howler
    It’s a sound wave rifle that instead of a normal gun barrel it has a speaker at the end of it.
    Press the trigger and it screams out Colettes song “ring my bell”.You might not think that is dangerous.But when played over and over again.It’s guaranteed to make your enemies ears bleed.And it can be upgraded to play Melissa’s “read my lips”.
    A song so bad it will make your hair turn white.A truly deadly upgrade.

    Reply
54. 

    Mannon

    October 21, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    Weapon Classification: ‘Anonymous’

    From the long forgotten depths of the Old Internet comes this weapon of destruction. It’s true origins are surrounded in mystery, misinformation, and heavily edited Wikipedia entries, but one thing is for sure; it’s manufacturer ‘4chan’ was responsible for some of the most devastating acts of social warfare of the 21st century.

    The weapon itself appears simplistic and unassuming, if not a touch unwieldy, and one could be forgiven for thinking ‘Point and Shoot’ would be all that’s needed to know about it’s use. However, the cannon is built around the ‘Improbability Meme Drive’ (IMD) which, when activated, is when things get weird. There is a slight charging time before firing, during which time the IMD randomly samples political and social climate, prevailing entertainment trends, and ‘flavour of the month’ humour. These samples are then modified and warped beyond recognition by thousands of independent random micro-processes.

    Once fully charged, the weapon fires a truly horrifying pulse of ‘InterWebz’ at the target, resulting in highly localised yet catastrophic levels of trolling and memes. The ‘InterWebz’ is highly mutable, dangerously unstable, and will continue to evolve after being discharged until the target is reduced to a gibbering mess, convulsing on the ground, mumbling ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’, and begging for ‘Can Has Cheezburger’ from anybody who will listen.

    USE WITH EXTREME CAUTION!!!

    Reply
55. 

    Yiani Mastrantonas

    October 21, 2009 at 2:39 pm

    Telstra Pre-Paid Gun

    has many different modes

    Close range burst fire costs 1c per shot
    Long range shot 10c per bullet
    and sniping 25c

    make sure you stock up on credit in safe zones, woe be told if you need to recharge on the battlefield

    Reply
56. 

    Timo

    October 21, 2009 at 2:57 pm

    Red Ring of Death

    Yes, just the mere thought of it sends chills through your spine. The Red Ring of Death is a portable plastic handheld weapon which fires a blast of hot air that literrally melts right through the heart and wallet of whatever is in your way. For ammunition it simply uses cd’s!

    Reply
57. 

    Tim Harrison

    October 21, 2009 at 3:13 pm

    The Orgasmo Ray Gun

    Are you sick and tired of your partner ‘faking’ it or would you like to embarras people in public at a whim? Then the Orgasmo Ray Gun™ is for you!.

    When the ray gun fires, everybody standing within its cone of fire will start to feel really good, then really hot and finally resulting in them having an explosive orgasm. Not only will this leave them incredibly embarrased if done in public, but will also leave them stunned and out of breath for a short time after.

    Purchase today and get the Loudspeaker Addon Pack, which will play “Jizz in my Pants” by “Lonely Island” when fired to add additional embarrasment.
    ——————————

    To be used for entertainment purposes only.
    Should not be used on small children, animals or people with heart conditions.
    Should not be used as a replacement for actual human-on-human relations.

    Reply
58. 

    AJxDx

    October 21, 2009 at 3:21 pm

    The pre-release

    The gun is simply used by aiming a judges mallet towards enemies.
    The result of this is that a swarm of lawyers flog towards the enemies with shouts of “This game is not released until the 23rd!”
    This leaves the area free to roam around whilst not worrying about enemies.

    Weapon is only useful until the 23rd of october 2009.
    Use carefully as enemies will drop not loot and you will not be able to gain experience.
    This weapon enhances the free roaming aspect of the game.

    Reply
59. 

    Patrick White

    October 21, 2009 at 3:26 pm

    The Bazooka Joe Bazooka

    Devestates your enemies jawbones with solid bricks of third rate “chewing” gum wrapped in indecipherable comic strips from the 1940s! Also does bonus ‘tooth-shattering’ damage in cold weather conditions.

    Reply
60. 

    Aaron

    October 21, 2009 at 3:31 pm

    Totally heartbroken you didn’t like my last two ideas, I really though Ye Olde Rail Gun was brilliant. Now I’m starting to run dry on creativity…

    Okay hows this, a Wheelbarrow Gun. Because you’re going to find 500 million guns during the game and at some point you’re going to need something to put them in right? Right, and a wheelbarrow is ideal, it combines the carrying space of a barrow with the rotational acceleration of a wheel!

    Of course you’ll have both your hands occupied with the wheelbarrow handles, that’s where the gun part comes in. Mounted on the wheelbarrow is a smart targeting explosive round firing mini gun that automatically shoots anyone who tries to shoot you.

    …of course, with a gun like that you wouldn’t need all the other guns and then you wouldn’t need the wheelbarrow. Hmmm. Well you can always put other things in the wheelbarrow, like churros, which are delicious.

    Reply
61. 

    Odin

    October 21, 2009 at 3:36 pm

    Weapon of choice:- ‘The Girlfriend’

    Everything that you could ever need to survive. Send her out to battle the countless enimies so you can spend more time finding that uber loot.

    Also acts as a solid companion for those cold nights.

    Upgrades:
    Extra large pack for all that extra loot you find.
    Frying pan. Man has got to eat.
    Swimsuit edition- rare find.

    Can have up to 3 of these at once.

    Reply
62. 

    Dave

    October 21, 2009 at 3:56 pm

    The Naked Gun 9000
    A gun that’s shoots underwear at the victim the victim is now stripped of all weapons and is only wearing a briar and knickers but they now run a little faster until they pick up a weapon

    Reply
63. 

    Ryan Fernance

    October 21, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    For Sale:

    For those of you who want more “oomph” in your day-to-day looting lifestyles, we here at Decap Industries are here to offer you just that.

    Combining the sleek and elegant style of of an MP5 and the brutal force of a disk saw, the Decapitator has all your needs covered.

    Let us just hypothesise for a moment. You come home from a hard days work and find your loving wife sleeping with your next door neighbour. I mean, you’ve thought there might be something going on there but you’ve never really had the proof.

    Well today you find out for sure. Your angry. You deserve retribution. Luckily for you, today you purchased your brand now Decapitator. With its many firing modes, including its long ranged circular saw thrower to the up close and personal bone saw, you’ve now got the arsenal you need to take down your enemies, including your new worst enemy.

    Too gruesome for you? We also have a range of new nuclear weapons for you, including our new Iron Particle Accelerator or IPA for short. Sounds too advanced? It really isn’t, we pride ourselves on our point and shoot design. Point the cannon at your enemy (at a safe distance) and squeeze the trigger. The gun disintegrates your target by shooting a charged particle at relativistic speeds, ensuring a painful death for the target, but a satisfying kill for you, the user.

    Check us out on the web at http://www.decap.com.au/wmd

    Reply
64. 

    John Lee

    October 21, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    A Photo Frame.

    -Has a picture of Tom Cruise in it.
    -Scare off any humanoid with a lower level than the wielder
    -The corner is sharp. Has chance to blind enemies.
    -Deal psychological damage to any humanoid who ends up viewing the actual photo.
    -Comes with a sheath to cover the picture in case it shames/blinds the owner while usage
    -The Glass cover can be used to reflect light and deal long range damage*
    -Also Effective for Torturing information out of Humanoids
    -Super effective against: Oprah
    -Cannot be unseen
    -This photo frame is common in the Borderlands. With its typical metal borders, they are scattered around the Borderland. Some creation lore of the land involve these mythical yet common item.
    -Can be disassembled and separated to form two items. A photo of Tom Cruise and a Plain Photo Frame.

    *Damage = 0.01 per second

    A Photo of Tom Cruise
    -A material commonly used to curse humanoids
    -Laminated
    -Nobody is sure of just how many of this item exists in the Borderlands.
    -One of the main reason Pandora is a dangerous place. The planet has this picture scattered around everywhere. Sometimes, Dust storms kick these up into the higher atmosphere, resulting in phenomenon called as “Raining men” where his picture falls from the sky in a rain-like fashion.
    -Some say that these common items are somehow related to the Big Bang theorem which outlines the Creation of the Pandora civilization. It theorizes that the Planet Pandora’s misleading rumour of fame and fortune was spread by Tom Cruise after he spread a photo of himself around the uninhabited planet, in his plans to unofficially name the planet “Cruiseland”. The deterioriating failed actor has survived thousands of years in a pickle jar, determined to reclaim his past glory through countless yearly attempts at acting. His current status as a bodyless head has revealed him as a talentless facelifting Zombie, surpassing the grossness of Michael Jackson’s nose. This theory has some grounds as Tom Cruise dropped from the Fortune 5 Billion list in the past few centuries. Accountants believe that in order for him to have spent as much money in such short period of time, he must have printed at least 3 Trillion copies of his portrait. Archaeologists chimed in 23 years ago when they proved that the facial structure and skin condition present in these photos common in Pandora reveal the year the picture was taken to be approximately 320 years ago, as he performs more plastic surgery every decade. Despite experts weighing in these evidences, Tom Cruise himself denies these allegations. This is despite his recent clash with David Letterman who called the Planet Pandora “The closest thing in size to Tom’s Ego.”
    -Monetary worth=$0

    Reply
65. 

    Chowder

    October 21, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    The Sodomiser

    Have a guess.

    “say hello, to my little* friend!”

    (*May be understandment.)

    Reply
66. 

    Andrew C

    October 21, 2009 at 4:23 pm

    Mamma’s Meatloaf

    Shaped somewhat similar to that of normal meatloaf, Mamma’s Meatloaf is so compacted it is harder than most concrete, in some cases it is used as building foundation throughout the wastelands.

    Primary Fire: Bludgeons the target with great force breaking them open like a piñata

    Secondary Fire: Hurls the meatloaf at the enemy, exploding on impact causing meaty splash damage to all enemies within range (Has a chance to cause wild animals within smelling range to be attracted and attack the targets)

    Reply
67. 

    Joshua Iacobozzi

    October 21, 2009 at 4:29 pm

    The Copyrighter™

    Assault Rifle

    The Copyrighter™ shoots out video game character replicas, who will aid you in combat.

    80% chance to shoot out a Fallout 3™ Super Mutant who will proceed to attack the enemy and most likely kill him/her

    50% chance to shoot out a Halo 3™ Replica Master Chief, who will turn on the player if he/she is a badass intergalactic alien.

    10% to shoot out the contributors of Kotaku™ Australia. These contributors are (foolishly) brave, and die quickly. (Especially Dave). Should you spawn and attack the contributors of Kotaku™ Australia, expect a scathing review in tomorrow’s articles!

    Reply
68. 

    Will

    October 21, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    The Randy Pitchford Laucher, the weapon fires a mini Randy at the foe, and will then proceed to explain how f*cking awesome Borderlands is and the target will explode whilst have a nerdgasm.

    Pretty effective against human enemies, however Skags will just eat him.

    Reply
69. 

    Cassian Janiw

    October 21, 2009 at 4:44 pm

    Long Range Quad Barrelled Shotgun with Laser Trigger informerly named the ‘Big Show’.

    Four Barreled Shotgun that has the ability to shoot long range (this diversifies itself from the regular class of shotguns). Magnifies up to 16x, competing with the highest quality Canadian (…) snipers out. Its Laser triggered meaning just sliding your finger backwards into the hole in which the trigger used to be now sets the gun off and fires it. Typically the ‘Big Show’ are only used by the U.S. Governments Division 9 to herd up the aliens in the farms of Area 51 but hey why not use them to herd err.. anything cos no dumb mother &^%*#@3s gonna wanna face one of these bad boys. There so good last year one of the guns was sent to jail for raping someone its so powerful.

    Reply
70. 

    Outofcover

    October 21, 2009 at 4:54 pm

    The Showoff

    This weapon fires a microscopic colored substance(similar to gunpowder) that enters the body though the sweat glands. Once shot the enemy starts shaking then after 5 seconds gets launches high into the air, they then explode in a colorful bloody show for all to see.
    For added fun place a magnet on the ground then shoot as many enemies as possible, they should group around the magnet and fire into the air creating a spectacular show.

    Reply
71. 

    Aaron Clement

    October 21, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    Chuck Norris.

    ’nuff said.

    And I have no creativity.

    Reply
72. 

    Shoitaan

    October 21, 2009 at 5:10 pm

    The Harleyquinn.

    A gun in the shape of a clown face that shoots minature Harley Davidson’s at the target. The target is overwhelmed by the noise and terrible engineering of american automation and falls unconcious. Also effective vs groups.

    Reply
73. 

    Greg

    October 21, 2009 at 5:16 pm

    my ultimate weapon would have to be the clean feed filter gun.

    the enemy would not be able to see there weapons due to them being blinded, if for whenever reason they could see a weapon and tried to pick it up there location would be sent to god(read Australian government) who would then smite them.

    if the enemy even tried to eat something the mighty god of AU would smite them and remove there hands so they could never eat again.

    thus all conflict would be over and you would kill all enemies through attrition. all the time you are picking up loot at your leisure.

    but best of all you protect all the inocent children.

    NOTE: some enemies may try to impersonate another enemy when trying to pick up a weapon or food and in that case the god of AU may jam and not work costing the user millions of dollars.

    Reply
74. 

    GregT

    October 21, 2009 at 5:20 pm

    The NSW Government

    This organisation is perhaps the most effective weapon in the world at destroying stuff:-
    1) Hospitals
    2) Roads
    3) Public Transport
    4) Schools
    5) Economy
    etc.

    This weapon is so effective that your enemies will either want to jump on the first available transport to take themselves offworld(interstate) or suicide. Suicide will likely be the option taken by your enemies as the NSW Government will find a way to screw up the transport systems.

    Reply
75. 

    CJ

    October 21, 2009 at 5:45 pm

    The Bangers n’ Mash

    Specially designed to fire off several Sausages* to distract ravenous dogs and Skags, though as food is often such an issue in a wasteland it should also work fine against any hungry enemies. The Heavy, hammer shaped ending to the barrel is there for you to create the mash, ending the lives of many a foul best and those hungry hungry hobos.

    Do not consume any of the sausages and replace the “ammo” at lest once a week.

    Reply
76. 

    Roy Fraley

    October 21, 2009 at 5:57 pm

    the stripper gun

    it shoots strippers to destract the bad guys plus every guy wants one of these.

    Reply
77. 

    skitzo12

    October 21, 2009 at 6:06 pm

    the drumstick
    it’s a use drumstick, use it to bsah out beats, bash people down or just throw it at them

    Reply
78. 

    rturtle

    October 21, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    The Super Pen.
    “Whoever said that the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons”, General Douglas MacArthur.
    Clearly General MacArthur never encountered the Super Pen! The Super Pen puts all other weapons to shame by doing, well, everything!
    At the most basic level, you can use the Super Pen to draw things, but by using the Super Pen’s unique function, you can make your drawings come to life! Not only can you draw any weapon imaginable, but you can also draw cover on the fly to give you an all-important edge.
    You can also manipulate the size of what you draw, so you can draw a miniature plane, then enlarge it to a full-size, fully working plane!
    You can also control where the object you’ve created ‘spawns’ easily using yet another in-built function. This means that you can create a 2 tonne weight and drop it above you enemies head!
    Fantastic stuff right? However, you’re no doubt thinking about how rubbish you are at drawing, remembering how in a play through of ‘Drawn to Life’, everything you drew resembled a misshapen potato, worrying that instead of spawning an AK47, you’ll spawn a fishing rod! Well fear no longer! With every purchase of the Super Pen, you get a FREE 42-page ‘Learn to Draw’ book which will guide you all the way to being a fantastic artist (and, in turn, a clinical killer).
    Buy today!

    Reply
79. 

    Blenny

    October 21, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    “The Hype Cannon”

    The Hype Cannon from Cynic Industries will spend weeks/months/years talking itself up to your enemies. Emitting teaser trailers, hi res screenshots and constantly bragging about innovation, never before seen features and new levels of immersive killing… Only to work exactly the same way as every other gun that’s been fired at your enemies over the years, just slightly prettier.

    Your enemies will be so disappointed that the weapon didn’t live up to their expectations that they will simply drop their loot, and wander from the battlefield in a despondent haze.

    Reply
80. 

    Peter Day

    October 21, 2009 at 6:11 pm

    The RC Rifle

    The “Refused Classification” rifle is an energy weapon developed by the Ostrilian Government’s Office of Oversight to assist in the policing of their planet’s authoritarian regime.

    The rifle works by isolating the classification field of an object or person and then reversing its polarity. In theory this causes the target’s classification field to collapse, thereby refusing the target access to our tangible universe and making the target vanish.

    However, in practice and inexplicably, the RC rifle only causes the target to disappear from the point of view of Ostrilian citizens, making its use as an effective weapon questionable.

    Despite this not insignificant problem, strong support from Advocate Matkinson of the Ostrilian Secret Police has seen the weapon employed throughout the galaxy against Ostrilian ‘insurgents’, including those operating on Pandora.

    Reply
81. 

    WezXD

    October 21, 2009 at 6:35 pm

    The OWNAGE burster

    FIRE ONE SHOT OF THIS BABY AND YOU AUTOMATICLY OWN THE ENEMY OR PLAYER NEARBY YOU!!!!!!!!! FIRE MULTIPLE ROUNDS TO BE THE BEST PLAYER WHO OWNS EVERYONE

    Reply
82. 

    Joel

    October 21, 2009 at 6:48 pm

    The competition gun.

    Press the secondary fire button to bring up a menu which lists the constraints of the competition. Whether that be ## words or less, a poem, a catchphrase or tagline, a creative competition or a picture competition. Pressing the fire button will then cause the gun to shoot out a walls of text/pictures straight at the enemy forcing them to read/look at your entry no matter how bizzare or stupid it may seem.

    *Entries not guaranteed to win.

    New DLC for this gun allows you to shoot back the undesired prizes won from the competition whilst retaining the ones wanted.

    Reply
83. 

    Lewis Mikulic

    October 21, 2009 at 6:58 pm

    “The Pimp”

    Taken from a bandit gang leader this dismembered arm features a purple sleeve and gold rings.

    The arm can be used for various functions; picking up loot, backhanding people, creeping people out, slapping people, scaring the shit out of people, feeding fluffles…

    When used to backhand someone the target instantly gives you all their loot and the “slappee” gains respect for the “slapper” following them around and doing their bidding. A “slappee” follwing the “slapper” will contiue to give the holder of “the pimp” all the loot they collect.

    If there is a second “slappee” there may be a rivalry over who gets to give the “slapper” the loot. The more “slappee”s you have the higher the chances of a fight breaking out.

    Reply
84. 

    Art Pitchford

    October 21, 2009 at 6:58 pm

    All Spark.

    My weapon is the All Spark, not really a weapon but a tool. You use it as everyone knows, simply put it near electronics and it will turn them into a transformer! Simply use this on multiple enemies and create a army!

    Reply
85. 

    Anthony Massingham

    October 21, 2009 at 7:26 pm

    The Rampant Paranoia Ray

    The Paranoia ray makes the target believe they are being followed by a selection of small wilderness creatures.

    (Incidentally, a side effect of the RP Ray is that firing it attracts various breeds of bird.)

    Reply
86. 

    Al

    October 21, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    The RROD Gun:
    A gun that uploads xbox 360 firmware on to all computer systems, guaranteeing total enemy hardware failure.

    Reply
87. 

    Forsak3n

    October 21, 2009 at 7:36 pm

    The traveling Salesbot
    With high expectations and a briefcase full of hope, this niffy little portable bot is sure not to disappoint. With millions of years of experience living on the streets, we have invented the best damn thing
    This hoot in a suit will entice your enemies with an array of consumer goods, including snake oil, time share, volcano insurance and solar powered torches, this pint sized wonder will always have a product for your enemies.
    Once they purchase these sound investments, they will marvel at its’ properties and become dumbstruck at its uses. Once they realize that snake oil will not cure cancer, your pickpocketing Oliver Twist will have your enemies’ loot stored in his body, thus avoiding violence and allowing you a peace of mind…while you try to explore the properties of snake oil

    Reply
88. 

    Liam Arthur

    October 21, 2009 at 7:43 pm

    • The Christmas Gun – As it’s better to give than recieve…

    The Gun will fire out divine pain in the shape of acidic snowglobes, gifts packed full of tnt and razor sharp xmas tree stars.
    Secondary attack is a siren to call down your army of carnivorous reindeer and looting elfs.

    excusemyspanish [at] hotmail [dot] com

    Reply
89. 

    Will L

    October 21, 2009 at 7:44 pm

    The [Pleasant Body Massager] 2000

    Use it and you’ll feel like you’re hooked on [fishing]. When fired from range, it will [delight] the [lucky] [target] with thousands of [rose petals].
    Using it up close as a sneak attack, it rams the [rainbow] up the [unicorn] creating [fireworks]. Extra [pleasure] is caused on animals causing [hilarious] effects.

    ———————–

    This weapon has been approved and rated MA15+ by the Australian Office of Film and Literature Classification Board 2009.

    Reply
90. 

    Nicholas Archer-Scott

    October 21, 2009 at 8:01 pm

    Chandler Doll

    Based on a character from the greatest television series ever, “Friends”, the Chandler Doll will expose your enemies – and friends – to some of the greatest lines this truly classic, timeless show has to offer.

    Merely hit the fire button to pull the string (PlayStation 3 owners have the added option of using SixAxis motion controls!) and your Chandler doll will unleash a flurry of scriptwriting genius, with lines that react to the situation at that point in time, such as:

    “I’m not really good at giving advice. Do you want a sarcastic comment?”

    “Could you *be* a worse shot?”

    “What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?”

    AND

    “Well, if I were a guy…Wait, did I just say “If I were a guy”?”

    Hear your friends laugh and appreciate your presence over voice chat with the wonders of Chandler Bing! Let crisp sounds of good times drown out the cries of unaffected enemies molesting your team ultimately leading to failure of the mission at your hands!

    Reply
91. 

    DCN

    October 21, 2009 at 8:25 pm

    Poo-on-a-stick

    Chase your foes around with the amazing Poo-on-a-stick! It features a 50cm wooden stick with some faeces at the end. The Poo-on-a-stick has a deterrent effect, making your enemies run for the hills*. This weapon is not dropped by enemies, it can only be forged. The raw materials for constructing this weapon are:
    1) A stick
    2) Dung

    *also has a deterrent effect on potential friends

    Reply
92. 

    Surge

    October 21, 2009 at 8:33 pm

    The FlameShock of Corruption

    Basically a flame thrower that sprays out a corrosive flammable liquid. The gun uses this stream of liquid as a path to electrocute the victim and its acidic properties will deteriorate anything that’s left …

    Reply
93. 

    drunkill

    October 21, 2009 at 8:41 pm

    The Implosplosion (Implode-explosion)

    A rather devistating yet quite hilarious weapon creates a tiny blackhole and supernova with split second intervals, sucking matter into the centre before exploding it back out and repeating the cycle for a perioud of time.

    The technology is grenade based so you can lob your physics defying grenades at enemies or mounted on your car to really distrupt races. (that’ll show mad max!)

    After 10 seconds the effect wares off and the world of science is returned to normal, until you throw another one at some scavengers and see then sucked into the air and flung about in ragdoll goodness.

    Reply
94. 

    Jake Miles

    October 21, 2009 at 9:25 pm

    Chocolate gun. It’s not useful but damned if it isn’t delicious.

    Reply
95. 

    Nox Obscurus

    October 21, 2009 at 9:28 pm

    “Blow out your candle”

    Loneliness can take a toll when you travel alone on a wasteland, especially when it also happens to be your birthday.

    The “Blow out your candle” was invented just for this very reason. Deceptively shaped like a pistol, this weapon has a set of interfaces on the handle where you enter your birth date.

    On any other day it’s a normal pistol. However, on your birthday, the interface will read “Blow out the candle” and for every baddie you kill that day, a wrapped gift will reveal itself on top of the corpse. The gifts will vary; from weapons, armour and accessories. One thing is certain, all the equipment will be of the highest quality and rarity.

    This will only happen on your birthday, and the quantity of gifts are limited to the bullets you have. The weapon will revert back to being a pistol when your birthday comes to an end.

    Hopefully you enjoy it while it lasts, and don’t forget to make a wish when you blow out your candle.

    Reply
96. 

    Richo

    October 21, 2009 at 9:34 pm

    I’d want a gravity gun.

    I’m not talking about some sissy half-life 2 wannabe clone, I’m talking about a gun that actually shoots gravity. Think about it- you are being swarmed with little enemies. You step back, aim your gun and then BOOM! A giant ball of gravity shoots out and sticks them all together. If you’re lucky, some sharp pieces of environment might be sucked in to the pulsating gravitational field and start slicing those baddies. But hey, if that doesn’t work, I’m sure some grenades could do the trick.

    Want to know what the top of that giant boulder looks like, but too lazy to climb? Fire some gravity up there, jump, and reverse the field before you feel the need to vomit.

    Beware however, because if too much mass is added to the gravitational field, it will implode upon itself causing what scientists call a ‘f_cking huge explosion’. If you see your field looking a little unstable, be sure to forewarn your local seismology centre and run as fast as you can.

    Gravity can also be used to stick things to one another. Two larger enemies got you down? Positioned correctly, your gravity gun will make them veritable siamese twins without the messy organ sharing.

    Reply
97. 

    Arach84

    October 21, 2009 at 9:49 pm

    Shark-onna-stick

    For those who want their action in the up-close-and-gnashing variety, the Shark-onna-Stick rabidly attempts to masticate anything you wave it at, most likely out of its anger, hunger and having a pole stuck up it’s keister. Strike fear into the hearts of your wasteland adversaries, especially those with a surfing background, as you tout your S-o-S in all its multi-toothed fury. Order now and for only $99.95 more we’ll upgrade your S-o-S to the Robo-S-o-S 5000 for a _much_ longer lifespan and a less fishy odour.

    Reply
98. 

    Brad

    October 21, 2009 at 9:56 pm

    The Kotaku Cannon.

    It’s so badass, your enemies will be afraid to go to sleep. They’ll live in fear of this huge, yet mysteriously able to be lifted by one arm, monster of a gun.

    This gun is so damn awesome that only Ron Burgundy is man enough to load it up with ammo, which is incidentally his own moustache!

    The noise this gun makes, like the man himself, could make a wolverine purr, and it makes you look so damn good that all the other players in your team will look like hobos.

    In summary, this gun is the balls!

    Reply
99. 

    Tomasz

    October 21, 2009 at 10:01 pm

    Banana Boat® Ultra Sunscreen SPF 30+

    Banana Boat® Ultra Sunscreen SPF 30+ formulation is specifically designed for people regularly exposed to the intense sun of the foreign wastelands of other planets – ideal for people always on the run from mutant beasts and lawless bandits!

    A seemingly futile battle for survival is no reason to get a sunburn!

    Reply
100. 

     JP

     October 21, 2009 at 10:26 pm

     The Pestle.

     Post-apocalypse times are harsh. Seems all a man has, bandit or otherwise, is his dreams.

     This weapon grinds those dreams down to nothing. Hope is the only thing left in this world. This weapon removes the hope from your enemies.

     Left to comprehend the full bleak despair of the barren world that ensares them, they surrender their arms.

     The Pestle.

     Reply
101. 

     Adam Redsell

     October 21, 2009 at 11:16 pm

     “The Citizen Kane of Weapons”

     Arm-mounted “Rosebud” Plasma Cannon.

     Simply insert your right arm, hang onto the grips, and you’re ready to roll! Hold down the trigger to charge the plasma beam, and release.

     Reply
102. 

     mence

     October 21, 2009 at 11:56 pm

     The Caffineator

     With parts scavenged from authentic Italian chromed coffee machines from all over the Borderlands, the Caffineator utilises two modes of fire that every good barista knows and loves:

     1) The Caffineator fires oversize espressos to deal heavy duty damage and engage in anti-material work. Think of it as the Italian napalm. Looking to take on the big boss in an “out-of-office” meeting? Get him with a coffee of the sweetest grinds first. That’s synergy, kids.

     2. Feeling swamped? Too many little things getting in your way in your Borderlands adventure? Engage the steam wand and fire off a jet of scalding hot milk, sure to burn your way clean.

     And of course, in case a Borderlands warrior’s feeling a bit flat, the Caffineator’s ready to pump out the perfect Italian espresso shot – crema perfect each time! Sip that and get back in the fight, soldier!

     Reply
103. 

     Oliver Owens

     October 22, 2009 at 12:18 am

     The Social Networker

     While most other guns tend towards more violent ways of disabling your enemies, the Social Networker works on a subconscious level coupled with roaming network capabilities to incite any enemies in it’s area of effect to spontaneously feel the need to “share” their thoughts on Fyrestone’s newly formed Squeaker social network through accounts created for them by the Gun. Thus occupied the subjects are rendered incapable of thinking of anything apart from the “Network” let alone engaging in a fire-fight. Even the badland beasts feel inclined to seek out social groupings under the gun’s influence and can easily be followed as they lead adventurers to large gatherings of otherwise occupied beasties which are easily disposed of for maximum loot.

     Reply
104. 

     Chuckhazard

     October 22, 2009 at 1:37 am

     HazardTek land MINE!
     “What’s yours is now MINE!”

     the wastes can be tricky, tiring, and just plain no fun. But there’s no denying there’s loot to be had. What to do? Mix up some lemonade, drop a few dozen MINE!s ouside your compound and relax.

     When triggered the MINE! disintegrates organic targets and fully disables robotic ones with a focused energy blast, leaving their useful items and loot behind on the ground. A miniature nuclear reactor ensures there’s plenty left where that came from! The loot remains on the ground, acting as a lure to bring more suckers in!

     Optional items:
     MINE! handheld control unit.
     -manage up to 100 MINE!s from the comfort of your porch.
     -status indicator, loot browser, manual detonation.

     MINE! teleportation grid
     -loot is instantly teleported to your location, or can be set on a timer.
     -used with the MINE! handheld control unit, you can select which items you want teleported in.

     MINE! nuclear detonator
     -a detonator wired to the on board nuclear battery makes each MINE! a miniature nuke!
     -detonates on contact, or activate manually with the MINE! handheld control unit.

     Reply
105. 

     James Sheppard

     October 22, 2009 at 12:59 pm

     The HitchHikers gun or The improbability gun

     A gun that has the ability to turn incoming missiles into a sperm whale and petunias

     think of the applications
     you can make the house/shack look all pretty with the petunias and the whale meat would feed people for weeks

     posibley could be modified to have other improbable effects (namely anything) could even turn enemies into cans of tuna (it is unknown if this is then considered canabalism)

     Reply
106. 

     Luis The Decimator

     October 22, 2009 at 1:16 pm

     My weapon of choice, The Black Widow made by Hammer.
     It is a hybrid bowling ball. You roll the ball towards a enemy and when it gets in range the ball opens up to a spider like machine. It then latches onto the enemy injecting him with various poisons and spices. Then it marinates the enemy from inside out. The neat part of this. The ball weighs about 14 pounds and can split into many different spiders that all have the same damage. This ball can also be used for bowling. So if you find a bowling alley you can bowl. Mainly used for foot soldiers, guards, patrols, convoys, ambushes, and oily lanes. A non aggressive bowling ball but a aggressive tool. Not for bowlers or children under the age or 16 or for anyone without proper weapons training. Also available in other various formats.

     Reply
107. 

     Keg

     October 22, 2009 at 2:11 pm

     Weapon Of Choice – The Merv

     No, its not the multi headed bomb which would also be an awesome choice… its that mustache wearin’ hip flexin’ Aussie fast bowler!

     The Merv Gun deploys a ‘Merv’ who will seek and destroy enemies with a deadly tongue lashing. The weapon is used to paint its targets as silhouettes of AB and Deano and after seeing these Merv goes on the attack… tonguing everything in sight.

     After a set period of time, the Merv simply stops, does a couple of stretches and explodes wiping everything in the blast radius out.

     Got Merv?

     Reply
108. 

     WindyPants

     October 24, 2009 at 8:55 pm

     Only God mode can save you from the invisible Buddy Jesus gun, a wink and a smile, and you’re toast.

     Reply
109. 

     Nate Gallatin

     December 10, 2009 at 8:43 am

     Secret Archives of
     PANDORA

     Weapon of choice-The Combo

     This gun can be combined with any others to increase power, it can be bonded to elements you find, it launches grenades, and has a radio to order more supplies.

     Previos Page 157 Next Page

     Reply