WIN! A Badass Borderlands Xbox 360 Prize Pack

WIN! A Badass Borderlands Xbox 360 Prize Pack

This is your last chance to win some badass Borderlands swag and a copy of the game on Xbox 360. Find out how after the jump.

UPDATE: This competition is now closed. Friday’s winner will be announced on Monday, Oct. 26.

Thanks to our good friends at 2K Games each day this week we’re giving away the following prize pack:

* A copy of Borderlands for Xbox 360 * A Borderlands t-shirt * A Borderlands mug * A Borderlands kitbag * A Borderlands notebook * A Boderlands cap * And a Borderlands retro tape player USB

Borderlands is the imminent role-playing shooter from Gearbox Software. It might not be the Citizen Kane of games, but it is – in the words of Gearbox president Randy Pitchford – totally badass. We’ve played it, several times in fact, and we dig it.

One of the more intriguing aspects of the game is its procedurally generated weapon system, which randomise a host of factors to ensure that you’ll rarely find two weapons that are the same. Gearbox claim there are more weapons in Borderlands than in every other shooter this console generation combined.

But perhaps you can come up with a weapon they haven’t got.

To be in the running to win, we want you to describe the Borderlands weapon you’d use to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Leave your weapon name and description in the comments below. Humour and creativity will be rewarded, as per usual Kotaku competition lines.

To be eligible for today’s draw, you must leave your comment by midnight tonight. You’re allowed one entry per day. If you want to enter in tomorrow’s draw, you’re fresh out of luck because there is no draw tomorrow. This is it. Your final chance!

And for all those who entered yesterday, Thursday’s lucky winner is…

Aaron and his Sense of Civic Duty Pistol. Because, frankly, the best way to survive in the wasteland may not necessarily involve killing everyone.

It always bothered me in games like Fallout and Borderlands, worlds with a severely diminished population, that you spent so much time killing bandits and raiders, people who could be rehabilitated to help in rebuilding the infrastructure. Not to mention the hereditary damage of the reduced diversity in the gene pool.

To combat this long term problem I propose the SOCD Pistol. Or Sense of Civic Duty Pistol. Loaded with darts containing a carefully tailored chemical agent. A hit will send the chemical straight to the targets medulla oblangata, at which point they will drop their weapon and leave the battle, walking straight to the nearest farm or water purification facility where they will volunteer as free labour.

Like politicians fail to do, I think post apocalyptic scenario games need to think long term.

[Terms and Conditions]

Comments

  • the Wiki-Weapon

    This amazing innovation in firepower started off fairly basic but this amazing new concept means that anybody anywhere in the world can modify and augment this weapon resulting over three million different configurations (in English) meaning it’s got the perfect setting for just about any situation.

    Being attacked by three bandits with shotguns and one with a Honourable Mention gun, crusing around in a Blue Phoenix? just one quick search and you’ll be ready to deal with it. No appropriate mod? just add one yourself!

    Disclaimer – Wiki-Weapon may not be as reliable as other weapons as mods may turn out to be incorrect or misleading. May not be accepted by universities as reference material.

  • The Consistent Repeator.

    An intermittent but regularly supplied weapon. It fires only once every 24 hours but maaaan, that one shot is worth the wait. Sure, other guns may have immediacy and are generally more interesting but the Consistent Repeator won’t let you down ever. Every day, at roughly the same time, that one quick is fired off, whether your like it or not.

    It’s more like a warm handshake from an old friend than a devastating gun. You’ll always be safe in the knowledge that that one lonely, but admittedly impactful, shot will come. You could even discard the Repeator, ignore it and its foolhardy reliability, but it will come through with the goods even if you have lost interest.

    Everyone may point and laugh at the Repeator, lying there gathering dust because it’s owner has thrown it away, but the Repeator doesn’t care. It’s here to do its job and dammit, it’s going to do it come hell or high water.

    And maybe it comes free with some stickers of Mortal Kombat characters so you can decorate it to make it look even more awesome.

  • The K/W-2009

    A very large and bulky shoulder mounted cannon that fires Kanye West. After being launched Kanye then approaches the nearest group of enemies and proclaims.

    “Yo Borderlands, I’m really happy for you, I’ll let you finish, but Fallout 3 is the best post-apocalyptic role-playing shooter of all time. One of the best video games of all time!”

    The enemies are then left stunned leaving you to carry on with the killing.

  • The Chris Brown Cannon

    Contrary to what the name may have you believe it isnt a gun that fires Chris Brown at the enemy, it is a gun that launches a giant fist

    the gun itself looks like a rocket launcher with a giant fist on the end

  • Post-apocalyptia Cannon – This massive cannon comes with it’s own tripod, and when fired launches enough mini-nukes to turn even the most lush forest planet into a barren wasteland fit for raiding and loot hunting.
    WARNING : Please use safety goggles when operating this weapon, and do not stare in the direction of any impacts.

  • All i would need is a LoveHate Gun with the patented “Hopoate” option, for added akwardness.

    The gun is quite simple, yet emmits a powerful beam of within a strong emotion of love or hate to the target. When used, you can target two enemies to both kill eachother (Hate), or distract them with an overwhelming desire to cuddle and take long strolls on the beach together.
    The Hopoate would be like a power up, but can drastically increase the emotion felt, either good or bad!

    The beauty is that it also works in inanamate objects, the target can be made to love a tree mulcher or combine harvester, or made to even hate him/herself.

    On this, you should also get an acheivement “Spread the love”, where you complete an whole mission by making everyone love everyone else and you would see the entire based of NPC’s hugging and kissing for the entire level!

  • The Ventriloquist Sniper Rifle:

    A Gun that when fired causes instant confusion by not only killing or at least wounding an enemy, but also making it sound like the shot was fired from another nearby enemy rather than you. The best silencer is one that makes the bang happen somewhere else.

  • Why can’t I have a gun that shoots out chimpanzees on rollerskates? When will these game developers learn that you can’t beat a chimpanzee on rollerskates?

    Except maybe a dog that shoots bees out of its mouth.

  • BeerPretzGun

    Yup, it’s a gun that can generate and deploy Beer and Pretzels.

    Let’s face it, is ANYBODY going to mess with a guy that can shoot friggin beer and pretzels?

  • Last Chance Cannon.

    When you have no ammo left for any other gun, the Last Chance Cannon transforms from a simple pistol into a giant cannon that shoots miniature suns that obliterate any other competition entrant. Err, I mean foe.

  • rainbow laser

    primary fire: projects a rainbow into the sky making enemys forget all there post-apocalyptic woes. the side effect is that it leads all enemys directly to your position but at the other end of the rainbow there is a pot of gold
    secondary fire: consentrated rainbow beam that brainwashes enemys into your allys for a limited time.

  • The Viper Rifle
    An scoped rifle that shoots snakes which then can only be destroyed by Samuel L. Jackson swearing excessively at them.

    2X damage to:

    Planes
    Pilots
    Air Hostesses

    .5X damage to:

    Swearing
    Samuel L. Jackson
    FIRE

  • “The Money Shot”

    The weapon fires molten hot plastic (which I imagine you would be able to find anywhere in the future).

    Creeps especially hate it when you get it in their hair or in the mouth.

    +10 to blinding
    +99 to pro

  • The Rubber band of doom:
    This versatile weapon designed by MacGyver. It’s highly portable and flexible. The long range attack will launch the weapon towards the victims eyes and has a 1 in ten chance of blinding them for life.
    It rubber band can also be combined with paper to launch folded paper projectiles at high speed and over long distances (10 meters). The paper projectiles can also cause blindness at a rate of 1 in 5, but projectiles also inflict mind numbingly painful welts and occasionally the dreaded paper cut which will cause the victims to bleed out or even worse get a nasty infection!
    Up close the rubber band can inflict nasty flicks causing red welts to appear on the victims bare arms or legs.
    If the rubber band is used to frequently it will snap and become useless streachy tie instead of the killer weapon it once was.

  • My weapon would be to create an online competition for a very popular videogame and have many people enter with very creative entries.

    The next day when I announce the winner, I declare ‘Yesterday’s lucky winner is…’

    and then I wait.

    and wait.

    and wait.

    The suspense from my crafty delay will kill even the most stonefaced entrant within 90 minutes.

    Be warned, the weapon comes with two caveats;

    1) The weapon is ineffective against people who didn’t enter the competition, possibly because they preordered the game already.

    2) The suspense will kill 99.9 percent of your targets, since one person has to actually win the competition according to the terms and conditions. However, on rare occasions winners have been known to drop dead from elation, so look at it as an added bonus.

  • Stick-It!

    The Stick-It! says farewell to your woes of moving like a drunk person and aiming like a slow robot! No longer will you have to endure the wasteland feeling as if your ability to aim is controlled by a tiny thumbstick. Slot any other weapon you find into the Stick-It! and you’ll feel immediate relief as your hand closes on your new aiming device – a sleek Mx-518 Gaming mouse, tested and true. Feel the joy as headshots become a breeze with clear and crisp flicks of your wrist, instead of slowly spinning in molasses and always turning just that bit past your intended target.

    The Stick-It! comes packaged with a free pair of Ne’er-Walk-Wonky boots. Let the boots guide your feet, aided by remote WASD controls on the grip of your Stick-It!, so movement is no longer reduced to sliding along walls and running in slight arcs that are never quite where you’re facing.

  • The Machine Bullet Biggerizer

    When you don’t have a good gun with you, Try the Machine Bullet Biggerizer gun! It’s a machine gun but with the power to turn the bullets into giant explosive clyinder.

  • See Yourself Gun…

    This weapon shoots a projectile that gives the enemy an out of body experience so they see themselves being shot.

    Critical shots put yourself in the persons body so you can see the impact for yourself before being put back into your own body.

  • Black & White:

    This relic from ages past used to be the weapon of choice for cops on the beat. It removed the tedious task of thinking from the daily grind.

    The gun has a specialised chip that accesses global information networks, and can intelligently determine anyone you point and shoot it at as either good or bad. Anyone determined to be bad is instantly immolated, anyone good is spared.

    However, due to years of neglect in the wastelands, the AI chip has malfunctioned. The gun will now randomly determine if someone will be immolated, and on rare occasions this includes the weapon holder. There is also a caching issue with the gun, so anyone determined good on first fire will never be shot at by the gun, allowing them to have their way with you.

  • R.A.I.L. Gun – The RABID ANGRY INFANT LAUNCHER accelerates gnashing babies with rabies at 7 times the speed of sound that latch onto your enemies body with a shlopping sound, infecting them with rabies, causing them to attack there own in a blind rage. The semtex loaded diaper worn by the baby means that the player can turn the berserk foe into an explosive fireball with a well placed shot.

  • “The Scag Bag”

    Open her up and let those little beasties loose, the scags will run about in all sorts of directions: up, down, left and even right. However, you should watch out, scags don’t discriminate between friend and foe, so it’s a good idea to throw some cheese in the bag every now and again or just beat the baddies with it.

  • So there’s no design a weapon thing this time?

    I was thinking of a “useles object launcher” similar to the rock it launcher from Fallout 3 but shooting more comically useless ammunition such as HD-DVDs, Counter-terrorist fridge magnets and paris hilton

  • Pick a winner gun.

    No, it doesn’t pick your nose for you. Rather the gun has been rigged to pick a winner on the final day of this competition. And it picks me!

    Oh wait. Now that you know what it does nobody is going to use it! Damn.

  • The BFG:

    This gun is so big and scary when people see you they run away in fear. You rarely have to fire a shot at anyone due to the raw fear this gun emits due to the fact that it is designed to look BIG and SCARY.

    In actuality the gun is just a simple pistol that while carrying it if you come across someone with little fear you have to pray you are a good shot because they will challenge you.

  • “Guminthehair”

    Shoots an extra sticky wad of gum into the enemies hair. While he cant resist the temptation to try and comb it out you can shoot him with a regular gun.

  • Mum and Dad’s ‘Bad Boy’ Punishment dispenser

    Have you been struggling to cope with the vicious masses constantly going against your wishes? Drinking out of the carton, putting their shoes on the couch and constantly raiding nearby villages or settlements for loot.

    Well you’ve had enough. It’s time for the madness to stop.

    You bring out the big guns. MND’s ‘Bad Boy’ Punishment dispenser. With ease, it fires off commands in the pee inducing tone of the targets maternal figure, the deep ingrained fear of their whole name being recited with every syllable slowly and perfectly punctuated. Completely body locked in fear, the masses will cower at the threat of vacuuming the ENTIRE desert until its spotless, standing in the corner (if you can find it), confiscating their satellite phones or having their gaming privileges revoked. PERMANENTLY.

    Dropping their loot and fleeing is a knee jerk response, best not to risk it when – mums in town. Better get back to their favourite hole – you know the one – that secret spot that ‘only they know about’.

    Secondary fire – ‘THAT’S IT! I’m getting your father!’ The last resort of all distraught mothers. But be warned! Instant and horrible deification will befall any within range!
    The icy cold memory of being bent over the paternal knee with solid deliveries to the posterior will become all too much. Fleeing is no longer an option. – Dads coming.

  • The Carrot Distractor

    Living in the wasteland of Pandora, there isn’t much in the way of entertainment. That may party be the cause of so much hostility from the local inhabitants – boredom!

    What better for them than something to brighten up their lives, to bring some much needed enrichment for their souls. And if it happens to get them off your back in the process, all the better!

    Introducing, the Carrot Distractor. Inspired by the classic ‘Carrot on a Stick’, this gun fires specially designed darts that inflict a peculiar type of malaise upon the target. The immediate effect causes them to completely forget what they should be doing, distracting them from more important and stressful tasks, be it finding food, more loot or studying for exams!

    The next effect brings to their attention an object of intense desire, of which YOU can decide – the girl next door, the phat rims on their neighbor’s car, or just phat loot generally. Whatever prize you give them to search for, they’ll drop everything they’re doing and begin anew!

    This new task then dominates their entire consciousness, forcing them to go searching for it. But of course, it’s all in their head, so they never really ever find it! They’ll be perpetually lost in the daydream of a lifetime, endlessly strung along searching in vain for the imaginary carrot you’ve strung up in their minds!

    Never again will you have to kill anyone for their belongings, just tag them with the Carrot Distractor and they’ll virtually hand them over. And for the next several hours, your victims will know the thrill of searching for an illusory prize while their other responsibilities remain neglected!

    • Bah, I submitted my comment only to see they they’d finally picked a winner. And how similar that post was to mine today! Oh well, there goes the prize pack for me then. And here I was, hoping every day!

  • The Rejuvinator.

    Ever noticed how in post apocalyptic worlds everybody is just so damn ugly? That is the reason why everybody is so ugly. Imagine waking up in the morning, looking in the mirror and seeing your ugly face.

    Well that’s a thing of the past with the Rejuvinator! One shot at your enemy, and their skin will tighten, blemishes will be removed, and they will look at least 10 years younger (or your money back)

    What this means for you is is that they’ll be so happy, they won’t want to fight you, but instead will team up with you!

    Perfect for the post apcolyptic world.

  • The Dissapointment

    Need a gun to complement your personality? This is the perfect pistol for you!

    Some of the key features are:
    – Old
    – A bit on the heavy side
    – No longer packs the punch it used to
    – Unpopular
    – Unnattractive Design
    – Compact Barrell

    Will it impress your friends and family? No
    Will it make your ex wife come back? No
    Will it help you put an end to the pain you feel every morning when you look in the mirror? YES!

    The Dissapointment much like yourself is prone to firing early, often in a darkened room…. by itself – so watch where you point that barrell!

    For a limited time with every purchase of this fine weapon you will receive a free 12 month prescription to your antidepressant of choice!

  • The New Appel iTooch

    this brand new device will destroy your enemy’s!

    lets say for example, you see a phycho running at you with an axe, what will you do? simple! whip put your appel iTooch, download the Pocket Knife App and stab him in the face!

    what say, an Alpha Skag is on your tail? download yourself the Zippo app an light that alpha skag on fire! if he’s still going, download the Shotgun app and blast him away!

    but i hear you asking “what about when i get to sledge? what if i’m not a high enough level?” No Worries! open up the iToonz store, download Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley, and the powerful bass booster speaker will rick-roll him like there is no tomorrow.

    so whenever you in a jam, just remember, Appel’s got your back with the New iTooch!

  • The Backyard Blitz Broom

    Everything in apocalyptic wastes are always a dreary share of brown or gray. No wonder everyone turns into murderous thugs who loot and pillage there way though life.

    Why not brighten the place up a little with the BBB.

    It will sweep away the horrible mess left by a nuclear war and replace it with all things bright and colourfull!

    Sick of the dirt? Sweep that mess away and replace it with nice fresh green grass. Once you start the makeover you wont want to stop.

  • — The Sandler —

    Opponents tagged by this cheeky little number will, over a period of approx. 110 minutes, overcome their explosively violent temper, realise their personal problem that causes said tendencies and somehow find a way to overcome this problem, turning them into happier, more rounded members of Borderlands’ society.

    They will fall in love but not be able to stay with their chosen partner until they have resolved their personal issue.

    Somewhere along the way Rob Schneider will pop up with some a cameo, possibly with an hilarious accent.

  • Pacifier,

    A pistol that generates a Pacifism field around the wielder.

    This means that anybody in range of this gun is unable to perform violent acts. (Excluding you)

    Please watch out for snipers. they have a far longer range than this pistol, and are therefore unaffected.

  • Borderlands varied range of weapons requires the best defense.
    The best defense is a good offense.
    A good offence is a varied offense.

    Presenting….
    The 2 Hyper Tatsunoko Marvel Puzzle Vs. 3 Super Street 4Ex Turbo World Alpha Warrior Strike Fighter!

    Hadoukens? Cue up Ken. Head chomping? Blanka. Zombies? Frank West. Lasers? Cyclops.

    Meet your enemies on a 2D plane and give them a 50-hit 3 billion damage combination.

  • The super soaker 9000

    a large cannon that shoots liquid and fools crazy enough to be in its path. Just pump the tube enough and release the pressure, sending liquid squirting forward, making a horrible mess of your enemies. Be cautious of over pumping however, as it can leave you with a sore arm and may fail to fire.

    Watch the fluid melt your cell shaded enemies as their colour runs!

    Note: Not to be confused with Male Genitals 9000, an entry into a differet compotition

  • The Gargantuan Array of Yielding.

    This weapon, otherwise known as the G.A.Y gun, causes any enemy hit to have a sudden, uncontrollable attraction to members of the same gender, by yielding to their gay tendencies. They will be so busy attempting to tear one anothers garments off that they will inadvertently either kill one another, or at least drop their weapons and pucker up for a kiss – just make sure you also have the Chastity Belt equipped!

    This weapon was inspired by the real life project at DARPA, called the Gay Bomb. It was designed to do cause male soldiers to be uncontrollably attracted to one another… the idea being they would be incapable of fighting anything besides their own sexual urges.

    I think this would be a valid addition to this game.

  • P.S – Instead of the normal muzzle flash and associated crack of the hammer igniting the gun powder in the casing – the gun would have a rainbow muzzle flash and “It’s raining men” lyrics would play.

  • awww man.. another awesome winner. i was so sure i might actually have it after yesterday’s, and it looks like there is already come awesome competition from today!!
    Also, ‘Goose, you’re killing us with all this suspence stuff lol.

    Ok todays last ditch effort… Good luck everyone!
    ————-

    The mk9 particle changer – aka the ‘switcharoo’

    The switcharoo is a small single shot launcher that when fired launches a small rounded disc-like projectile, that upon contact displaces the particles of both the target and the weapons firer. Once particle displacement has occurs (.03 seconds) the firer and target will switch places.

    This of course has 2 specific uses:
    1. If the user is surrounded by adversaries it can switch places with an enemy before they all have the chance to get a shot off, putting another in the way of the oncoming barage and confusing all others, allowing time to pop off some shots with your chosen weapon before everyone realises just what has occured.
    2. Infiltration and hard to reach places – use it to get on to guard towers/bunkers quickly and easily or accross large gaps or chasms. Or you could just use it to switch places with that lucky bastard snogging the cute girl.

    The switcharoo is the perfect defensive and offensive weapon essential to any arsenal.

  • The “Diddy Mao” Gun

    An unfortunate oversight by Borderlands developers is noticing the similarities between RPG dice rolling and Russian roulette. The “Diddy Mao” gun addresses this with some luck and gun barrel spinning action for the users. Challenge your enemies to a game of luck and hope your number doesn’t come up.

  • The Glass gun
    Fire the gun at the ground infront of enemies to produce a stream of lighting. Instantly the ground heats up enough to create a directed particle ‘dust storm’ of glass shards.
    The Glass gun is useful against multiple bunched enemies which often can be driven back or herded while they protect their eyes from the glass.
    The gun initially does minimal damage but holding the trigger down for a few seconds will superheat the ground and bigger knife-sized shards can be produced dealing serious damage.

  • The Sunscreen grenade.

    Does spending hours in the pandoran sun get your skin all burned and blistering ? Well now you can fix that with the sunscreen grenade. Just throw it at your group of pasty skinned travelers to apply the highest quality SPF 9001+ grade sunscreen.

  • The Tufnel-Tap 11,011

    Bad guys killed you again? Well you can kill them MORE with the Tufnel-Tap 11,011.

    While conventional weapons have a max setting of 10, the Tufnel-Tap amplifies any weapon to give you that extra bit of kick just when you need it – going all the way to 11!

    The Tufnel-Tap 11,011 – it’s more cushion for your pushin’.

  • The “Wheres Wally”

    Shaped like a walking stick, this weapon allows the possessor to blend into the environment, making it very difficult to be seen. Being nigh on invisible means the user can use its secondary fire, a high powered shot of red and white goo that can only be seen once it hits the offending bad guy, in relative safety. The goo will turn rock solid within seconds, rendering said bad guy immobile.

  • The E.O.T.L. (End Of The Line)

    The EOTL is truly a weapon to save for when you have no choice but to face your own death.

    Upon activation, it transfuses large amounts of pain killers, testorone, steroids and adrenaline into the user’s body. This overloads the brain’s usual self-defense systems, driving the weapon’s wielder into a berserk-induced bloodlust.

    The large amount of drugs rapidly introduced into the user’s system causes their leg and arm muscles to rapidly enhance, allowing them extra agility and strength.

    With the weapon now deployed, your enemy must now face a pain-resistant opponent with extra agility and speed.. They must kill him quickly, or they will be killed.

    The catch, however, is that the drugs are only temporary.. Within minutes of the weapon’s activation, the user’s body will suffer from several different types of organ failures, leading to their own death very quickly.

  • The bible – both new and old testament combined.

    If it you can convert people, good for you and for the well-being of the human race.

    If you cant convert people, it them over the head with it. Seriously, the bible’s big enough to squash turtles with.

    Besides, everyone will love you because your the only one with a bible, everyone else would have thrown theirs out the window when the apocalypse was happening or have read it, got to the part where the “Rapture” occurs and given up.

    Best weapon ever.

    “If its good enough for God, it’s good enough for you!”

  • Point of View Gun V2
    An upgrade of Deep Thought Technologies original Point of View Gun. This upgrade is an excellent defensive gun. It has 2 power modes; one which, like the original, enables the user to shoot a being and have them mentally see from the users point of view. The other mode lets the user shoot a foe and have them physically switch places. VERY useful if you’ve got a hail of bullets and other dangerous things coming towards you!

  • The Chihuahua Launcher

    A portable mini-trebuache launcher that is specifically designed to launch chihuahua’s, with there innate ability of claw the insides of your soul with there incessant barking.

    Secondary fire results in the chihuahua being lit on fire.

  • The Cyanide Capsule PEZ dispenser –

    After working tirelessly to best myself against wave upon waves of mercs, vying to win the precious prize, and having failed. Day upon day I toiled,attempting to secure the holy grail of prizes…I find myself at wits end.Physically and mentally drained. Emotional that i have missed my chance, ruing of what could’ve been.
    I press Y and select my alternate weapon, the trusty Cyanide Capsule PEZ dispenser to end things…after all, an alternate life/reality is better than coming to grips with the harsh reality that I have lost again.

    P.S. this is in no way directed to the comp, was talking bout the ACTUAL game………honest…..

  • WWrath

    It is a truth universally acknowledged, that Hell has not fury like a woman’s wrath.
    Primary fire makes the target believe someone has earned the full force of their wrath. Secondary fire designates who that person is.* Can work on males but for optimum performance a female primary target is recommended.

    *Secondary fire is sometimes referred to as ‘the he/she did it’ mechanic.

  • The Rack

    Billy: “aww shucks, I’ve got all these swell guns, but I just don’t know which one to use” (dejected)
    voiceover: “why not use them all, Billy?”
    Billy: “but how?”
    voiceover: “my dear boy, it’s easy, with The Rack!”

    (cut to scene of Billy firing the rack)

    the rack eliminates decision making, allowing you to mount up to ten weapons to be synced up to one trigger. Now at your finger tip is the simultaneous power of the electric pistol, fire pistol, wide spread shotgun, high speed SMG, long range sniper rifle, rocket launcher and many more!

    Best of all, The Rack is designed to be modular, so you can slot a fully loaded rack into another rack!

    Fast voiceover: “useoftherackmayrequireexceptionalstrength,balance,coordinationoralloftheabove.”

    (cut to scene of Billy pinned beneath the rack, skag approaching.)

    voiceover: “good luck Billy!”

  • Magneto-Rifle.

    This new magneto-rifle will be able to sense when there is an ENEMY by reading that creature’s mind and it’s intention at the time. It will also be able to read allies minds to make sure no friendlies are harmed with the gun. Once it finds an enemy a magnetic field will attract the tip of the gun to the body of the enemy, allowing the user an easy shot.

    It is an automatic rifle, can hold 180 rounds with 27 shots per clip. Ideal for those that simply want to live a safe, post-apocalyptic life without the fear of killing a friendly. Have a nice day! 🙂

  • The EKT – Emo Kid Transformer.

    Ever wanted to instantly shrink your opponents clothes till they were tight enough to cut blood circulation?

    Ever wanted to enduce sucidal tendencies and the need to run to the nearest department store to stock up on razors?

    Ever wanted to see what your enemies would look like with lame ass Pete Wentz fringes?

    Now’s your chance. With the new EKT you can turn your opponents into makeup wearing straight-edge emos with scene hair, who will be happily distracted by Matchbook Romance as you take them out, one by one.

  • The Early Knock-off Cannon

    This gun only works on Friday afternoon after lunch time. When fired it causes all enemies in the vicinity to “call it a day” and start their weekend early, thus eliminating any resistance.

    BOOM!

    That’s it for me, i’m off to an early weekend =)

  • Ok here goes.

    I think that my final weapon suggestion would have to be called the ‘NOOB cannon’ Now this gun was created out of all the memories of playing online and having to listen to little kids screaming abuse at everyone and anyone, with ofcourse the most popular words being noob.
    This cannon fires abusive language at whoever is unlucky enough to be in its path and trust me there is no stopping it once it starts~!!

    Each volley lobs insanely annoying little brat insults in your direction, usually along the lines of “what the F*@# are you doing noob” and broken up every now and then by a “oh man i am so drunk, really drunk and stuff”. All gamers know how painful the blast is and no borderlands bandits will be left sane after it hits.

    Thanks guys good comp.

  • Pandora Residents Association Membership

    Membership will equip the player with P.R.A badge and a thick tome of bylaws developed by concerned colonists. Covering everything from appropriate use of weapons during night hours (silencers compulsory within 3 miles of residential areas) to new licence requirements to practice bandit activity, it will allow players to confiscate property and issue fines to offenders*.

    * The P.R.A is not responsible for any members who are beaten and/or shot to death by those they confront. Members should also be aware that a P.R.A attack may increase rage and hostility in targeted enemies of the civic good. Severe fines will be issued if the book of bylaws is damaged or used as a weapon by the offending party during an attack.

  • The Bee-zooka

    A large shoulder-mounted launcher that fires swarms of bees at the enemy.

    Secondary fire squirts a stream of honey on your target, causing their weapons to jam and grenades stick to their bodies. They will be immobilized for a short period if shot at animals or other non-weapon toting creatures.

  • The Politician
    Pistol
    150 Damage
    +50% Damage
    +30% reload speed
    +20% bribe success chance
    +50% chance to win next election
    -90% chance to do the first two bonuses

    This gun was modelled on John Howard and Kevin Rudd. Just like how one promised no GST, and another seems to want to make australia better and improve internet, and those never happened, so to does this gun promise some sweet bonuses, but fails to deliver.

    At least this weapon allows you to bribe and win election better.

  • The Hefenator.

    I don’t know about you guys, but if I’m going to survive in this wasteland, I’d like to avoid any actual combat and try to make a safe haven for all the post apocalyptic babes of the future.

    The Hefenator is a a chick-flick and chocolate combo weapon, offering flowers and soothing re-assurance that her butt does not big in those pants, and that everything will be okay.

  • In tribute to Valve, I give you the “AFLC cannon”.

    One shot of this baby at your foe of choice launches a 3 piece business suit complete with a mask of our favourite Australian senator, the hon. Michael Atkinson. The rest of the enemies, seeing a Michael Atkinson materialise amongst their ranks completely ignore you and begin hurling insults at the victim, who in turn shakes his finger yelling “You can’t say that in Australia!”.

    Any attempt to shoot the victim with another gun afterwards releases a spray of daisies and rainbows instead of blood and gore. You can only kill the victim by showing him an unedited version of Grand Theft Auto IV, which will cause him to die of shock.

  • The “Fine Ass Lady” gun. It’s victims morphed into fine assed ladies, the FAL gun is also capable of generating top 10 disco hits resulting in endless fine ass parties.

    The FAL gun: Creating fine ass dystopias for a fine ass future.

  • After many failed attempts, the all new “D.Y.S.T. Rocket Launcher” has come!

    Tired of being shot at all the time? Constantly losing duels from being under leveled and poorly equipped? well no more! because the D.Y.S.T. will shoot out up to a maximum of 25 panties per fire!

    Now you might be asking what’s the point of that? How does that affect you in the Wastelands? Well if you’re a man like me, you like women’s panties. Striped ones, polka dots, silky, leather, lace, crotchless you name it, I love it.

    But wait, I’m getting a little distracted here – and that my friends, IS MY POINT!

    This is no ordinary panty launching gun, no sir, what makes it all special is when you fire the panties they start flying in the sky! That might be hard to believe, but it true! Try to imagine a ducks flying in formation like a big V, now imagine those ducks as panties. Beautiful.

    And when all your enemies are standing there staring up mesmerized by those panties, you walk up to them and BAM! You shoot them dead!

    Now how many do ya want?

    ( here’s a youtube clip of the flying panties for everyone’s enjoyment. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIAu5p3KyYk )

  • The Nun Gun

    A should mounted cannon (or canoness) that fires Nuns. Each Nun is armed with a Wooden Ruler,
    the Back-Hand of God and a Bad Habit.

    On a crictical hit there is a chance to inflict ‘Sister Blister’ which literally cooks you enemies
    with a (verbal) assault of Hellfire and Brimstone.
    On a critical miss-fire the Nun’s will turn on you and do their best to instill a lifelong sense of guilt.

  • Surviving in a post apocalyptic world with any gun I want?

    The Benjamins. A gun which creates any form of currency from, lets say…any carbon based compound which you place in its clip. It looks like…a glock. Infinite money results in infinite power.

    Just to be on the safe side, the gun only works when I use it, therefore no one (who knows about it) would try and kill me for it.

    This is of course assuming I can’t simply have a post-apocalypse-fixing gun.

  • The Cruiser Bruiser –

    Whether you are in a 70’s disco or an apocalyptic wasteland, you will never need another pick-up line to get that oh-so gorgeous boy over there. Just pick up your trusty Cruiser Bruiser (Now in Guava flavour!), and with one shot that boy will be like a toy in your hands!

    Now you may be asking, Oh Harlequin! How does this Fab-u-lous piece of machinery work? Well I’m not entirely sure, but I do know that it’s capable of hitting it’s target from across a smoke-filled dance club with an ice-cold bottle of your favourite fruity flavour!

    Just one hit will leave your victim completely under your control, doing anything to get into those new cargo skinnies you bought. Imagine all the possibilities!

  • The Lazy Gun.

    Designed for the busy, nervous or unskilled gamer, a single shot from the Lazy Gun strikes deep into the heart of the game code itself, winning the entire game, instantly. Why kill time with tedious controller-waggling when you can kill the challenge instead?

    Optional attachments include the Achievement Unlock Blaster, the Bragging Rights Ray, and the Trade-In-O-Matic Replacement Launcher.

  • The Manageer

    Mitigates damage and apportions blame without any apparently falling on the wielder’s shoulders. Often accused of a shoot first, ask questions later rate-of-fire, this self-important firearm justifies its own existence at the expense of other players, regardless of ‘friend or foe’.

    Superficially judicious, this firearm actively seeks those in a position of power over the wielder, not to injure or maim, but to apply the wielder’s lips to the superior’s posterior in a process known as the ‘liptoasstomy’.

    Typically reviled by all, wielders of this firearm fail to realise that they are the cause of their own suffering.

  • Life got you down? Are you just not creative enough? Or perhaps your just too lazy to go out and buy what you want and you’d prefer to have it delivered to your door but lack the means to buy online or over the phone?

    If you answered yes to the last question then i cant help you, but if that isnt the case then you need ‘The Amazing Wildgoose Wrangling Wobbygong’. While its idea wont help you win a competition in anyway (cause it doesn’t meet the requirements) it will however allow you to capture the man with your dearly wanted loot then pry it from his shark bitten hands. Provided he lives/goes near water… which he probably doesn’t, cause he lives inland.

    Your new pet Wobbygong also offers you no protection on the inevitable wastelands of the future cause their bone dry so its suggested you stick to the coast. And hey even if you dont win/steal at lest you’ve had fun.

  • The premature ejaculator 5000

    Its the sort of weapon that may not fire when you intend it to. Just be very careful where you point it as it could go off just by pointing it at a hot chick. Great for killing women with big….

  • What is the hardest thing to do?
    Trying to think of a good gun to design!

    So to you I propose “The Thinker”, This gun thinks of the most audacious weapons and invents them!, no more hard thinking for you.
    All you need to do is press some buttons and “poof” there you have it a prize winning weapon!

  • Time Travel

    This is time travel, but for your mind! Technically only the 60’s. Though if shot a unsuspecting enemy they will chill out, pull out guitars and start smoking weed.

    All this causing them to make “peace” and have a great festival!

  • The kitten launching flamethrower, not only would it launch a streaming ball of fire directly into the enemies face, but it would also thrust hundreds of angry kittens directly into the area of the wounds, can you IMAGINE having burns that are lacerated by hundreds of tiny claws? Pain city.

  • VBCCK Mighty Midget 5000
    ————————
    Pandora is ripe with crazy midgets trying to kill you. The Mighty Midget is a weapon so small you only need your thumb and index to hold. It’s ability will only work on midgets, turning whatever part of their body you hit to grow in size to that of a very large man.

    Shoot a midget in the leg? They’re going to have trouble running after you with a giant leg and their puny midget leg!

    For maximum amusement, try shooting the midget in all four limbs, then top it off with a head shot. You’ll witness one very disturbing looking midget!

  • the evil gun
    uses the souls of little children to power before firing something that burns the enemy to death.
    crafted by the finest scientists at evil arts, the guns frimware will be crippled and all the features locked until you get home and download an evil bonus for $10

  • the RL(Real Life) gun

    The RL gun will remind you when you are getting a little too obsessed with borderlands. The RL gun will shutdown your console after 40 hours of continuous play. The gun also has warning messages which will signal whenever you are hungry, thirsty, or in need of an urgent toilet break.

    Great for parents!

  • P-Bomb

    Similar to its cousin the A-bomb, the P-bomb does the total opposite: it creates peace, in one whole big area (a.k.a. AOE). Enough with running around shooting and killing and fearing that one day you will get killed.

    The P-bomb eliminates the hostile tension in the Borderland’s atmosphere by filling it with powerful pheromones which arouse in everyone who smell it ‘a sense of peace’. Detonating one of these bombs is enough to create peace for an area as large as New York city and for as long as 1 year. When its effect wears off, war will come back again (so that this weapon will not create a long lasting peace: so that its balanced).

  • In light of the recent muck-up days i present:
    The Eggs and Flour gun.

    What’s better than shooting a random raider in the face? Humiliating a random raider first, of course!
    This gun shoots eggs out of one barrel, and sprays flour out of another.
    If used correctly, this gun will make even the most fearsome enemy look absolutely hilarious!

  • Holistic causality disruptor Pistol,whilst pulling the trigger of your HCD Pistol may not result in a projectile,be assured that your enemy will die,maybe not right then and there,but your enemy will die at some point in the future,even enemies your yet to make are guaranteed death with the use of this gun.

  • I come to you with a weapon so unheard of in modern day games. An almighty weapon that could be both revolutionary, yet reliable to the most hardened combatants. I bring you the law bring of the weapondry world, I bring you the stick! The weapon of the gods and the best of men. Not only can the stick be used for badass melee damage it can also be thrown at distance to distract, annoy, damage or shoo away those annoying arse rats trying to gnaw at your toes.

    The stick come in many shapes and sizes to be used by the largest or smallest of warriors. It also can be modified to add damage and effect. Add some fire to burn your opponents or twirl around at night to make a kickass lighting effect. Your enemies will fear you at the sight of the stick!

  • AG cannon

    the attorney-general cannon inspired by the work of attorney-general michael atkinson. This weapon will ensure you are feared through out the waste land.

    the weapon consists of your stereotypical cannon exterior. however the difference with the AG cannon is its ability to fire large rainbow clouds which have the ability to reform any badass in the wasteland into a respectable conservative christian, as well as dealing some heavy damage.

    the catch is there is only one in the game, but it only takes one asshole with an AG cannon to ruin it for everyone else (if you catch my drift).

  • Playing co-op and hunting for the perfect loot may be tough as you will allways have people not willing to share or take the drop in turns.

    No no need to worry any more i give you ‘The Loot Vacuum’ I press of this weapon and the loot is all yours.
    Set it to max and you dont even have to wait for the enemies to die.

    Order now and get the metal detector attachment for those long walks in the wastelands for FREE!!!.

    Kill for 1 now. Just find me in Pandora if you dare 🙂

  • The Linkin Park Launcher.

    In an inspired and deadly form of recycling, fires off bursts of old Linkin Park CD’s.

    Upon striking its victim, the weapon has been known to cause crawling in the skin, and wounds that will not heal.

  • Copy Gun:

    The gun would shoot out a invsable ray which copies the other persons weaspon power and blasts it direct onto them.

    It has one shot only, and the ray can go through anything- once its used its power transforms the gun into a normal sniper rifle- for an old fashion headshot.

  • Introducint the Good Hair Day Ray

    So many of Pandoras’ residents suffer from premature baldness due to the harsh environment and years of inbreeding. The side effects of this terrible situation can be seen through out the land. So many Pandoran men have turned to violence and destruction due the helplessness and frustration they feel every day.
    Studies show that bald men are 4 times more likely to vandalise property, torment the public and self mutilate in an attempt to unleash the rage that builds in them everyday they see themselves in the mirror.

    The GHD Ray will put a smile on even the most ruthless of raiders faces. Simply aim at the unfortunate sufferer of premature baldness and hold the beam upon them for several seconds. Within mere minutes golden locks of joy will flow down to their shoulders, freeing them from the haunting prison that is premature baldness.

    No longer plagued by the aggravation of premature baldness, subjects have shown a 80% in productivity and have given up their once violent lives to become a helping part of the community.

    Take for example our new spokesperson, Brick Swortsenaga, who has experienced the GHD Ray first hand. Brick often resorted to violent fist fights to unleash his anger, and led a ruthless life of non-stop action. Since experiencing the GHD Ray Brick now sports a glowing mane of sun bleached hair and has changed his ways. Brick has become an active member of the community doing his part to make Pandora a better place, and has recently been elected Governor of Fyrestone.

    So come on, do your part, try the GHD Ray today and help make the world a better place, one head of hair at a time.

  • T.M.A.L.L – The Michael Atkinsons logic launcher! Fire this fella off and he will dribble such uneducated crap on a subject he knows nothing about, that the enemies heads in a 100 mile radius will explode!

    Samples of such lines:
    “THA CHILDRANS!!”
    “VIDJAGAMES WERE PLAYED BY THEM NAZIS”
    “PACMAN TOOK MA JOB”*

    *Dey took his jerrrbbbb

    The weapon will also kill the wielder, but the desert will be safe once more…but for how long?

  • The Peashooter of Infinite Self Belief!

    Do you ever get tired of being mocked by desert aliens? Sick of being a bigger joke than the midget bandits due to your crippling confidence issues?

    Well I propose the Peashooter of Infinite Self Belief. Harness the ancient powers of self confidence and turn every idea you have into the greatest idea known to man. You’ve seen it work brilliantly in religions, politics and even musicians. Kanye West is now ‘the voice of this generation’ thanks to this handy bit of engineering!

    But where can you possible find such a power for yourself, you ask? The Peashooter of Inifinite Self Belief of course! Sure, it may not have been the best idea to tackle a harsh, post-apocalyptic world with the power of a rubber glove finger attached to the end of a PVC pipe that realistically only shoots frozen peas but remember, you’ll have no doubt in your mind that this bad boy can take down anything the badlands throw at you!

    It is a fact that ideas are the greatest weapon known to man. Your decision making skills will sky rocket with this Peashooter in hand. Think of the rewards reaped when your decision to eat day old cookie dough left out in the summer sun paid off tenfold. Or medals of civil service you received for the night you dressed as Batman and started chasing random people off the streets. See, every idea you have is a winner! Take your ideas and performance to the next level by acquiring the Peashooter of Infinite Self Belief and start obnoxiously hailing the frozen peas on the desert trash around you!

  • The Lucky shot

    The lucky shot’s first 4 bullets will always miss their target filling the shooter with dsissapointment, shame and doubt of his creativity. The final shot though lands with humourous results destroying the target and giving the user of the gun some sweet loot including:

    -a cap
    -a shirt
    -a kitbag
    -a mug

    The gun has no effect on the target if the target is being shot by funny, original and creative guns.

  • The Conservative Gun.

    This little beauty is an exact replica of the gun sitting in Michael Atkinson’s liquor cabinet, next to his copy of GTA4 Hot coffee and a playboy mag from 1953.

    Where ever it may be deployed be it the battlefield, supermarket or parliament, or my good sir in this apocalypse all three.

    You can expect a steady stream of non-nonsensical arguments being forced into the heads of your enemies, friends or mother.

    The issues you might ask cover anti-R18 policies, the great wall of china and evil that the internet poses to the wastelands of borderlands.

    These issues be switched by a nifty dollar($) shaped button on the rear of the gun.

    • Damn, I didn’t see the other conservative the other AG/Conservative related weapons… I guess mines been at work.

      • Made some mistakes :/ Might as well fix them my bad serves me right waiting to do this until 10:20pm.
        ——-

        The Conservative Gun.

        This little beauty is an exact replica of the gun sitting in Michael Atkinson’s liquor cabinet, next to his copy of GTA4 Hot coffee and a playboy mag from 1953.

        Where ever it may be deployed be it the battlefield, supermarket or parliament, or my good sir in this apocalypse all three.

        You can expect a steady stream of non-nonsensical arguments being forced into the heads of your enemies, friends or mother.

        The issues you might ask cover anti-R18 policies, the great firewall of Australia and the evil that the internet poses to the wastelands of borderlands.

        These issues can be switched by a nifty dollar($) shaped button on the rear of the gun.

        —-
        Please accept this one.

  • The Banshee

    The Banshee is indeed a formidable weapon for all lady kind. A large armament that must be either shoulder mounted or rested on the ground on a tripod, it disorients and violently kills any male unfortunate enough to be within range and arc of fire.
    It emits a sonic boom fueled by a large top mounted canister containing the combined (rightful) ‘nagging’ of 1000 mothers, sisters and girlfriends.
    When the sound wave hits a males ears, their eardrums will rupture with the possibility of their head exploding in a plume of chunky red fem-tastic joy!
    In fact, i know this weapon works well and is proven effective as the mere threat of it’s deployment is enough to make my boyfriend do the dishes, clean the toilet and mow the lawns… all in just half an hour.

    No modern post apocalyptic woman should be seen dead without The Banshee… in fact, chances are without it, she’ll be dead anyway.
    xo

  • “The injacktion gun”

    This light weighted, easy to use gun allows you to inject yourself or your allies with fully loaded stuff that will actually make you live 100 times longer! It also adds more health and stamina permanently! Your eyesight will also change! You will be able to take out an enemy with a pistol far far away! You will also have night vision, heat vision, a new type of vision: Precise vision (where you can calculate how much strength you need and the angle you need to throw a grenade), X-ray vision and many other types of vision! Your ability to construct or repair stuff will be so fast, You will put Bob the builder to shame! Your speed and strength will change dramatically! You’ll get a bigger gun rack and all the chicks will dig you! You also won’t have to worry about food or water ever again! one jack provides you with a life time of food and water in your body You might be asking: Wait a minute, this is a drug right?”

    Wrong!, Its a gun that increases your whole character !!! You won’t feel the change in you, it will happen as soon as you just the injacktion! No pain, just gain!
    😀

  • It strikes me that with the amount of weapons on offer, we’re missing an important chance to imbue the Wasteland’s Heroes with something that is unique and or daresay “Rapturous”!

    Made from a gigantic drill arm (with what looks to be a little girl’s bow attached to the trigger guard??), the Ryanopolis 3000 is a multi-purpose Weapon designed to be the first, last and only line of defence you need in the Wasteland. To start with, you have the basic Drill function which is designed to give you up to 500 pounds per square inch of boring pressure – Easily tearing through rock (or flesh) like it wasn’t there.

    Should you require ranged support, then the Ryanopolis 3000 also features a secondary rifle mode to answer this very call. This rifle mode is capable of launching rivets from the drill’s tip at high velocity and is capable of nailing targets over 300 metres away. Once launched, these rivets literally become hyper-accelerated balls of death that will cut down anything in their path, akin to a swarm of angry bees.

    However use of the Ryanopolis 3000 does inflict some minor side effects on the wielder, with the gas expelled from the drill causing you to occasionally groan loudly in a deep voice. The most bizarre side effect however, is that every little girl you come across will start following you around asking if you are “Mr. Bubbles”.

  • The Defeatist

    The perfect weapon for those finding themselves in a situation of true, inevitable defeat.
    Few embrace this weapon willingly. Some are lucky enough to avoid it completely, given the opportunity to take up the previously mentioned “Honourable Mention Gun” (or better!)

    Those who receive the Defeatist with protest will have no use for it; it will in no way aid the wielder, and instead serve as an eternal taunt to the fact that the best they could do wasn’t enough.

    However, those who embrace the Defeatist upon receiving it find it to be among the most useful weapons to exist. It is capable of calming anxieties, strengthening resolve, and also goes further to allow the wielder to rebound off hard surfaces with incredible power, jumping fantastic distances (“Bouncing back”, if you will).

    Professional use of this weapon will ensure that that lessons are learnt from previous defeats, therefore minimising the likelihood of further defeats in the future.

  • I think there should be humor in all types of games, (horror, FPS, RTS etc.) So I came up with the comedic gun.

    This gun shoots out really awesome funny jokes that are so bad they’re good, awesome pick up lines, awesome stuff comedians said and awesome jokes! One shot of this baby and anyone within range (10 Km (or more) will start laughing out loud or at least make a sound that they’re actually laughing! It doesn’t matter how lame the joke or pick-up line is, they’ll still laugh! Don’t kill enemies with bullets! Kill them with laughter has they lie on the ground laughing for hours and hours! One shot of the comedic gun and you wont die of laughter but you will actually gain health! As they say Laughter is the best medicine!

  • The Erotigraphomanigun

    Too many people think that surviving in a desert wasteland means killing every son of a bitch around. There are plenty of other ways to incapacitate foes – for example, inflicting a debilitating mental disorder upon them.

    This gun gives targets erotigraphomania, the manic compulsion to write love letters. Once they whip out their pen and devote themselves fully to their lovelorn scrawl, you can saunter over and casually grab all their loot, without a single drop of blood shed.

    And if you’re lucky, you might just receive one of these love letters yourself!

  • The loung-E-Natrix

    Designed in the time shortly before the apocalypse by a group of lounge room loving Philanthropists, the LEN is said to create a pocket universe which consists only of a very comfortable lounge room, containing all the essentials of comfortable living, including mini-bar and all the most upto date electronics.

    Having documentation of only a single firing of the LEN and the subsequent disappearence of all the lounge loving race, speculation has risen as to wether or not the weapon brought doom upon the majestic people of the lounge or they live on in comfortable glory.

    The ultimate solution to the borderlands wastes. Death. Or Lounge.

  • Now lets face it. The common everyday “Joe in the gunfight” Isn’t James bond. So my weapon of choice is the Italian tune up.

    An extremely compact weapon, it is equiped with a personalized and thumbprint activiated infrared scope to allow you to see the dastards that dare fire at you. And after emptying the (surprisingly large) clip, the weapons homing beacon will engage providing you with a bullet-proof and highly modified Italian supercar that will home in on your current location and provide that extremely quick getaway that will have you and your lady friend in more “friendly” locales within seconds.

  • bacon gun.

    Shoots bacon.

    Enemies can eat the bacon. You can also shoot it at the ground and eat the bacon yourself.

    Serves no purpose other than dispensing bacon.

    BUT THAT’S ALL YOU’LL REALLY EVER NEED.

  • The Therapist.

    Fires a Therapist toward a post-apocolyptic goon. Therapist then explains to the goon how he got this way and methods for improving the quality of his life, goon obliges and becomes an acceptable member of society.

    During a stroll in the park some weeks later goon is hit by a car.

    Drawbacks of this weapon:
    Goon takes some time to die

    Gun operator can never truly be friends with the therapist because he knows the therapist is secretly psycho-analysing everything the gun operator does even though he sais he’s not.

    Therapist usually ducks out to grab lunch during sessions, you never notice this because you’re too busy staring at the ceiling recounting your childhood.

  • My Tit-Pistols.

    Im a girl, see. And like most women, I have two bumps on my chest called breasts. Some women have itty bitty ones that not are not much fun. Some, although a blessed with large, more supple and fun ones. I am, one of those blessed ones. And in my personal experiences, these can be considered as weapons (or as I like to call them WoME/Weapons of Mass Erections.) Now, if you will, think of these weapons. Then add guns to them.

    They dont require much skill. Most enemies would be mesmerised by their beauty that wont notice me pulling the trigger and blasting them to fucking hell.

    I cant really define what the bigger weapon is. Bullets.. or Breasts? You decide. And whilst deciding that, decide that i’m the winner.

    (yes, I am really a girl. I have a vagina to prove it. And breasts.)

  • Modified XBox Launcher

    Fires XBox’s that have broken down. Slightly modified with Explosives and a timer, the enemies will have no idea what to expect.
    *Warning* Do not try to play Borderlands on these consoles. Injury is imminent.

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