WIN! A Badass Borderlands Xbox 360 Prize Pack

WIN! A Badass Borderlands Xbox 360 Prize Pack

You’ve only got two more chances to win some badass Borderlands swag and a copy of the game on Xbox 360. Find out how after the jump.

UPDATE: This competition is now closed.

Thanks to our good friends at 2K Games each day this week we’re giving away the following prize pack:

* A copy of Borderlands for Xbox 360 * A Borderlands t-shirt * A Borderlands mug * A Borderlands kitbag * A Borderlands notebook * A Boderlands cap * And a Borderlands retro tape player USB

Borderlands is the imminent role-playing shooter from Gearbox Software. It might not be the Citizen Kane of games, but it is—in the words of Gearbox president Randy Pitchford—totally badass. We’ve played it, several times in fact, and we dig it.

One of the more intriguing aspects of the game is its procedurally generated weapon system, which randomise a host of factors to ensure that you’ll rarely find two weapons that are the same. Gearbox claim there are more weapons in Borderlands than in every other shooter this console generation combined.

But perhaps you can come up with a weapon they haven’t got.

To be in the running to win, we want you to describe the Borderlands weapon you’d use to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Leave your weapon name and description in the comments below. Humour and creativity will be rewarded, as per usual Kotaku competition lines.

To be eligible for today’s draw, you must leave your comment by midnight tonight. You’re allowed one entry per day. If you want to enter in tomorrow’s draw, you must comment on that post with a brand new weapon idea.

And for all those who entered yesterday, Wednesday’s lucky winner is…

Dominic Harman, for this inspired entry. (See yesterday’s post for why.)

The Honourable Mention Gun – While certainly not the best gun to be found in the wastes, it packs a fair punch and makes you proud to have it. Sure, occasionally you will stare at it in minor shame knowing that it isn’t the best gun out there, but in moments such as these it is just important to pat yourself on the back and recognise the fact that you still have a quality gun. Key features of this gun include its encouragement to find a better gun and its random selection of songs that will play at various moments including “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” and “I Can See Clearly Now.”

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Comments

  • Randomosity Blitz 9000

    Tapping into the core of every random generator in the universe, the Randomosity Blitz 9000 fires a confusing multi-colored beam of light which alters everything it touches. Enemies, loot, even scenery melts, morphs and warps into something that it ‘could’ have been had lady luck looked a different way at it’s creation.

    Don’t like the spawns you got in this area? No problem! Fire up your RB9k and see your enemies re-roll on the spot. Think the loot dropped from that boss was a joke? Give the metaphorical wheel another whirl and hope this time you get something decent, something you would actually consider equipping without feeling dirty.

    The RB9k now works on fickle team-members that can-never-seem-to-decide-on-what-damn-class-they-want-to-play! No more waiting for them to think of a new name for their character (which will only be something like ‘Arthas’, ‘Legolas’ or ‘Bob’ anyway) and run through the starting areas to catch up. Just point, shoot, and give them something random – probably as bad as they would have made anyway! (at least until they want another jolt in 15 minutes time).

    Warning: May bring out OCD in some users. If symptoms appear such as constantly zapping a single item over and over and over please aim this weapon into a mirror and change it into something less.. overwhelming.. for the fickle-minded.

  • the puzzler

    its a single barrel shotgun that shoots a rubix cube so it makes the enemy sit down and try to solve it and gives you time to run away if your dying

  • pussy cannon 3000

    A heavy weapon that shoots out cute little kittens into the wastelands. Your foe either goes ‘ohhhhhhh how cute’ and is immediately transformed into a caring sharing companion for you or most likely devours the poor kitty, with massive amounts of blood splatter, but this distraction gives you the opportunity to deploy one of your other weapons to finish him.

  • I would defiantly use “pleasure grenades”

    The victim is overwhelmed with extreme priaprism or earth shattering seizures.

    ***warning***

    – Do not use on small animals,
    – DONT TRY THIS ON YOURSELF!!!

    • lol, there have been so many guns that just shoot random VG characters – usually of the ninja/martial arts variety

  • The brick
    An extremly heavt thrown projectile, which may cause damage to the enemy. May be used as a meele weapon.
    Hint: Its a brick

  • A skag rifle

    In homage to the copious amounts of dogs you will kill in the first few levels of borderlands (according to reviews at least), why not stock up on skag parts?

    Being eco-friendly as you recycle the body parts of the skags you kill is simply a bonus, as you fire off skag after skag in order to kill more skags, laughing as the irony is not lost on you.

    Happy Skag Hunting!

  • The Pheromone rifle

    The Pheromone rifle functions very much like a dart rifle, however, the rifle’s specialized darts are what make this weapon stand out in the crowd.

    Upon impact, the darts anchor into the target’s flesh and emit a powerful pheromone cocktail into the air that has been lovingly distilled from the glands of the most popular boy-bands and teen-idols of the 21st century.

    Moments after the pheromones are released, the target is set upon by a rabid mob of tween fangirls.

    The last thing the victim sees before being torn to shreds is a frenzied blur of braces, ponytails, sparkled fake nails and terrible acne.

    Many wouldn’t think you would find a tween demographic in a desolate wasteland such as this. The Pheromone Rifle proves otherwise.

  • *David Wildgoose is presented something like looks like a hunting rifle, from the stock to the trigger but is offset by a 25 inch barrel which is matted in odd tufts of fur and appears to be lacking a magazine. The person presenting this piece is wearing a greasy white suit and black slicked back hair *

    This weapon my good sir is known as Fur Morph model 3, its primary mode is the firing of eggs containing small Ursidae of the mammalian family, expect rapid growth upon exit of there gel filled eggs which my good sir has been commented on looking like a toy vending machine capsule.

    These bears once fully grown will tear your enemies to shreds, allowing you to acquire whatever you engaged them for, for free!

    *David points the gun at the greasy salesmen*

    I must give warning as a legal requirement to warn of hazards for yours AND MY SAFETY! You must high tail it when fired, as the bears, well… they aren’t terribly particular about there meals…

    *David turns the gun around and sees a switch on the side semi concealed by fur*

    Ahh perfect, this brings us to the secondary firing mode. Now not as effective, it is considered to be highly amusing thing to inflict upon comrades as enemies.

    It hairifys enemies, causing them to sprout hair all over the bodies, the idea behind it was in desert combat the enemy would die from dehydration as the effect is quite permanent.

    They called nicknamed this weapon on the front lines….

    *David flicks the switch and fires upon the salesmen*

    The Care Bear

  • Knowledge Is Power – AKA: KIP

    This unique weapon proves once and for or that knowledge really is the greatest form of power. Potentially the most devastating gun ever created the user just has to enter the amount of damage the wish to do though the user friendly input keypad then just point and click. There is however, one catch.

    The KIP uses the power of the operators own knowledge to fire a concentrated beam of EXP points at such high velocities they hurt!* The amount of damage you do is only limited by how much experience you are able and willing to sacrifice.

    Caution: over use of this weapon may result in the user being too stupid to know they should have stopped using it already.

    *(damage may be on a 1 to 1 basis or by a multiplier for balancing issues)

  • GHOST IN THE SHELL GUN :

    What better way to disorrientate and mess with borderland baddies than by using this gun.
    Reign terror with the annoying whining of the opening credits to one of the best Anime movies.

    Don’t beleive me? Here’s but a sample –
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dc_jDEvGC7s

    This will surely make your enemies gouge themselves to death !

  • The Co-op Gun.

    In game this does nothing more than shoot a colourful (and slightly distracting) flare up into the sky.

    Real world it sends an SMS to a friend with a copy of Borderlands and boots up their rig/console so they can come save your arse.

    After all, what’s the point of playing Borderlands without a friend to watch your back and share in the loot?

  • Exploding Batteries

    Got guns which relies on the power of power off the source of batteries? Then this will get you up and ready for those dire circumstances.

    These puppies not only allow you to use them as normal batteries, but you can also use them like grenades whenever you like.

    The more power left in those batteries will lead to a bigger and impressive boom, but a drained battery will lead to extensive shrapnel damage, either win-win unless you are too close to where the battery lands

  • My Arts Degree – Because what better way to travel through the wastes than with knowledge? The application of this “weapon” is limitless. Should you be confronted by a rabid mutant you can discuss with him the concept of otherness and the various advantages and disadvantages of the violent path. Come by a robot? Well it’s rather lucky that you have analysed “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep” and “Blade Runner” in a number of ways giving you an understanding of what it really means to be human while taking into account the robot’s point of view. With this weapon, accepting a mission isn’t as easy as yes or no, it is a deep moral choice of weighing up various ideologies throughout history. While in the towns, you may want to examine the local economy and class systems questioning if we are just heading down another path of destruction through a capitalist society while slowly seeding in concepts of Marxism.

  • the furrious furry belt

    placed on the the floor the ffb (furrious furry belt) is akin to the magsine in mgs. its distracts the guards while they put it on with its anomatronic charm, also it has a secondary function if a guard is spotted wearing the ffb he dies of embarassment.

    also can be used as an item in mario bros 3

  • Threadder.

    Do you like sewing?
    Do you enjoy a good darning ?
    Do you have secret homicidal cravings ?

    Then this is the weapon for you!

    Made from the finest of materials, the threadder allows to apply your skills at the sewing machine to the battlefeild!

    The Threadder launches a red hot “needle” projectile which glides through your intended target as easially as sewing a button. Attached to the needle is our patented “Thread-4-u” steel fibre cable, allowing you to string together your impaled targets and arrange them into a rather lovely floral pattern. Able to pass through up to 5 targets ( in ideal conditions ) it makes short work of any violent craft related project.

  • The street-date breaking gun.

    The street-date breaking gun allows all your wildest dreams to come true, by allowing you to access mythical lands, kill countless enemies, unlock precious precious Acheivements… all by giving you a drooling satisfaction that is only felt by having highly anticipated games released before their street-date.

    I’m sure everyone could use a street-date breaking gun!

  • Pocket Ninjas

    Can’t infiltrate buildings? Need to secretly attack enemies? Love Ninjas? Then the Pocket Ninjas will be the perfect companions you’ll ever need and have.

    Just because they are small and fit easily in your pockets, don’t mean that they are not dangerous, these crafty little buggers are so dangerous, they can kill enemies in ways you wish that you don’t want to know.

    Let them go, tell them the target. They will know how to do the rest, just so long as you look after them.

    Don’t look after them, they will run away and because they are ninjas, you’ll need to watch your back in case they decide to pay you back for all the kindness you have shown them.

  • The Persistent Rifle
    A rather weak gun that shoots unspired entries into both your enemies and various competitions. However the poor quality of the rifle’s output means that there is little to no input. The benefit being that it does not actually require any ammunition to fire.

    Regardless of the strength of your targets armour, a year of persistent fire will bring anything down*!

    * Maybe… Probably not. You’re better of using the rifle as a club.

  • The Goomba Launcher

    The Goomba is the ultimate weapon. Sure, at first glance it simply looks like a horribly mutated, inexplicably living mushroom, counting down the seconds until the final, sweet embrace of death. In reality, simply touching the sides of these genetic monstrosities is enough to instantly kill a normal man. The bigger ‘boss’ enemies out there may require two hits to take down, but the first one will shrink them in size considerably and remove most of their abilities, so it’s really no big deal. Admittedly a bit useless against jumping enemies and, for some reason, turtles, the Goomba Gun is a humiliating yet mildly amusing way to kill your way around Pandora.

  • Mr Fusion: Powered by waste scattered in and around the wastes, Mr Fusion is for the environmentally conscious killer.

    How many times have your friends said to you, “let’s go out on a rampage”. And you’ve politely declined, stating you can’t possibly clean up the wastelands without cleaning up the environment as well.

    Mr Fusion can be recharged using any scrap metal, food scraps, carcasses and pretty much anything you can pick up. Once the required 1.21 gigawatts of power is reached, Mr Fusion will happily release several hundred rounds of energy bolts into anything you please.

    Knowing Mr Fusion exists, could you go on killing with your carbon unfriendly weapons?

  • The arm of sausage.
    This 300 pound tubular mess neatly slots into any nub of a man. This features a snake-oiled propelled grappling hook, allowing you to squeeze the life out of any darn fool to get in your way. This also doubles as a means of escape if you ever feel a sudden urge to play with your hair.
    Constructed from the manual brought off ebay, fueled by testosterone and neatly presented with the promise to cure cancer, this thunder in a can will suit any manliest of situations.
    Due to unforeseen circumstances, the brains behind this steroid induced butch arm have been closed. Don’t be sadden by this folks, since this means it will have $20 slashed of its price.
    As an added bonus, if you purchase now, you will be given a wig made from the dreadlocks of prisoners. And if you purchase by credit card, we will throw in another wig, that’s right folks, another wig made from the hair of a certain redhead if you want that retro feel.

  • The Molynataleux:

    It’s the gun you give to your enemies.
    In the controlled environment of say a corridor shooter, the user is insanely confident, boastful and can pull off unbelievable feats.
    But in the open spaces of borderlands, while the confidence remains, the uncontrolled environment clearly shows up their massive and exploitable weaknesses.

  • Legendary Gun of the Red Herring.

    You spent hours killing for the *chance* to hold this gun. Everyone wants it. But on the fated day when you find it, you discover it. does. nothing. You scream.

    That is the Legendary Gun of the Red Herring.

  • harpoonertron

    I think it speaks for it’s self
    ______
    [ tron]—–>
    “””””
    “” \
    “””

  • Pink Palooza

    Think Pink.
    Think Gorgeous.
    Think clip-on Vanity Mirror Accessory.
    If the bad seeds in the wastelands don’t leave you alone simply because your shooter is pink, then at least your projectile tips contain enough homo-erotic serum to make any species self-lusting and preoccupied with their own pamper parties.

  • The “Switcharoo”
    Previously the ol’ swticharoo was a cunning deed, well now it’s a gun too.

    Firing the Switcharoo at objects of similar mass and molecular structure will cause the user and target to switch places!
    This short to medium range gun inflicts 0 direct damage to the target but can used to bewilder and/or devastate multiple enemies!
    Example uses include:
    -Taking cover behind exploding barrels is a poor choice; switch with an enemy for the safety of a rocky outcrop for an easy kill!
    -“Charge!”, running at an enemy line is a poor choice; switch with an enemy and attack them up close while they shoot their team mate!
    -Getting rushed and mellee’d in half is a poor choice; switch with an enemy* as the sword comes down and watch them slice their own!
    -Jumping off a cliff is a poor choice; but not if you’re a good shot!

    Hundreds more uses limited only by your imagination! Never be left crouching outside the bedroom window again**!

    * not the one slicing you or you’ll still get sliced! Oops!
    ** but take extreme care while aiming! Oops!

  • “The Apathy Gun”

    An energy beam weapon that causes enemies to stop attacking you, lay down their weapons, sit down and start wondering to themselves and anyone around them what’s the point of life.

    Platitudes such as “what’s my motivation, why do I need to shoot and kill these people, why am I here?”

    Guaranteed to save you bullets and energy packs as it lets you walk up to them and crack them over the head with your rifle Butt.

  • The Love Gun
    Constantly spews out love songs and feelings of warmth in the people that love and use it.
    Cuts the heart out of those that don’t.

  • It always bothered me in games like Fallout and Borderlands, worlds with a severely diminished population, that you spent so much time killing bandits and raiders, people who could be rehabilitated to help in rebuilding the infrastructure. Not to mention the hereditary damage of the reduced diversity in the gene pool.

    To combat this long term problem I propose the SOCD Pistol. Or Sense of Civic Duty Pistol. Loaded with darts containing a carefully tailored chemical agent. A hit will send the chemical straight to the targets medulla oblangata, at which point they will drop their weapon and leave the battle, walking straight to the nearest farm or water purification facility where they will volunteer as free labour.

    Like politicians fail to do, I think post apocalyptic scenario games need to think long term.

  • The Swiss Army Knife

    Who knows what situation you’ll be in out in the vast deserts of borderlands. You may need to gut a Skag, trim your toenails or try and cut anything with those tiny scissors. But with lots of tools in one small object this will become invaluble in fist fights or even healing team mates. Just be sure to clean them before healing someone, otherwise the next best weapon in the game; infection and desease might set in

  • The Secreter

    Oozes various liquids which drip onto the ground at your feet. Want to create a tunnel or burrow through to a lower level? No problem, select ‘acid’. Want to trip opponents up? Dial the knob to ‘oil’. Want to stick an opponent to the ground – choose ‘glue’. Want to keep enemies away? Yep, you guessed it, it even has a ‘poo’ setting.

    Looks like a bug with a giant larval sack, with the ‘business end’ pointing away from you!

  • The BSD Ray Gun aka “The Blue Screen of Death Ray Gun”

    One shot from this baby and your opponent will be covered in a thick impenetrable blue fog. Their entire memory will be wiped and they will be left wandering around the wilderness lost until they inevitably fall down a hole and die.

    When you terminate your opponent with the BSD you typically shout out “FATAL EXCEPTION” in a Mortal Kombat-style voice that simply wreaks of pure awesomeness.

  • The Aichmophobia Pistol

    A portable and practical weapon thats no bigger than a typical household computer mouse with a barrel the diameter of the top of a 375ml beer bottle and a knitting needle attachment on the top. A great weapon for mob control, it emits a pulse of energy that will turn anyone within a 30m radius into a Aichmophobic (they will have a fear of needles or sharp objects). When they see the needle attachment they will turn and run for the hills screaming like babies.

  • The quagmire
    A dart gun that shoots poison darts that turn your enemies into sexually aroused deviants.Who would hump anything that moves.Making them want to hit on each other with chat up lines like “that dress would look great on the floor next to my bed” and “i’m an organ donor..do you need anything?”
    Hit your opponent with more than one dart and they will run around in circles yelling “giggidy giggidy giggidy goooooo!!!”

  • The Emo Flamer

    One of the most important weapons in anyones oversized arsenal is the Emo Flamer.

    Sure your standard weapons might help you knock off an alien invasion fleet, horde of brain lusting bikini zombie girls or even popular daytime tv hosts but as we all know – bullets don’t kill Emo’s – and using blades only makes then stronger!

    The Emo flamer uses the power of flame to disintegrate emos on the spot, rendering them officially dead, while also removing any dark clouds they may have had over them.

    With the help of the Emo flamer, you too can continue on the fight for your life – care free and can-do!

  • “The 87 Bajillionth Gun”

    You found it, you got there, all 87 Bajillion. Just what does this gun do? Well, glad you asked this gun is known to exadurate at times, claiming to be the be all and end all of guns. Fully automatic and packing a noteable punch we all have to acknowledge the fact that this is a lie, and is not infact a gun… but a rifle.

  • Another good win – congrats Dominic.

    man i’m so determined to win this thing… but it’s harder coming up with original ideas damn the sheer amount of entries!
    Here’s todays!!

    —————–

    The Tattoo Gun

    No catches, it’s just a plain ordinary portable tattoo gun.
    Wastelands are a dangerous place full of all sorts of miscreants, and chances are that if you point most guns at most anyone, you’ll end up rotting on the side of the road, riddled with bullets and stab wounds.
    So why not play the neutral? With bandits and criminals everywhere and little jobs to spare, why not play to your advantages and become a post apocalyptic tattoo artist. Guaranteed you won’t have any shortage of customers and there won’t be too many other qualified tattooists out there (sure you won’t be qualified either, but no one needs to know that).
    Spend the remainder of your days traveling and making all those low life scum that little less grumpy by giving them all the flaming skulls, tribals and rainbow ponies that their black hearts desire.

    Sure, it may sound a little too passive. It may even sound like you won’t get to kill anyone, but never fear. With your complete lack of training and anything even relating to sterile tools or antiseptics, there is still a good chance that your customers may suffer from toxic shock or blood poisoning that will eventually end in death with a severe lack of post apocalyptic medical attention.

  • Gillette Boomstick Ultra 3000 Turbo

    I’m clearly out of ideas, so I’ve just taken a regular shotgun, and just keep adding extra barrels to it! I’m up to 7!

    Also available with a detachable bayonet. The bayonet feature 4 blades for the closest, most comfortable kill yet!

  • The “Illneverever”

    With this gun you’ll never ever win. It doesn’t shoot anything so you won’t be much help to anyone in the wastelands. The gun is so ugly, your team mates will shoot YOU instead. And if you try to switch weapons or drop or sell it, you can’t – its permanent.
    So start a new character and if you see this gun, run the hell away!

  • The quote gun

    Automatically records or downloads any sound byte that has the slightest humor value and then is able “to shoot it” by telepathically implanting the quote in the brains of your enemies at over 1000 times per second. This causes them to go completely insane and to rock back and forward in the fetal position babbling the quote until they starve to death. The best way to make any joke get old fast and can also be used effectively to return certain phrases back into normal speech as each quote has a quote “quota” that once reached renders the quote powerless either to incite humor, irony or disgust.

    Also in development are prototype models that fire cliches, idioms, stereotypes, slang and jargon.

  • The Gungun

    Contrary to what you might believe when you see the title, it is not a gun that shoots guns. In fact it was a spelling mistake by the maker. What it does in actuality is fire Gungans at enemies. It deals satisfactory damage with a direct hit, giving you a good feeling as you kill an enemy and a jar jar binks clone at the same time. But it really comes into its own if you miss and the Jar Jar Binks clone chases the enemy around causing general confusion and taking the agro off you.

  • “The Silent Protagonist”

    A Mars space marine has used it. Gordon Freeman has used it. Heck most FPS main characters have used it. This is the gun that does the talking for you.

  • The “Base” Model

    Sometimes you just can’t afford the best but you might be able to afford “something”. That’s where The Base Model comes in. It’s the promise that you’ll return later with more money, or salvage, to throw a longer barrel, a scope, shotgun grip or rocket launcher onto the steel pipe you just bought.

    In the meantime, you’ll just have to suffice with brandishing this shiny stick and waving it at your enemies. More effective than a feather duster, less destructive than the BFG20K that dickhead, Tom, who lives next door, just purchased and is showing off. Just because he’s a high-powered manager at a major Clan, with a trophy wench girlfriend and a tank instead of an ’85 Gemini with only one working door doesn’t mean he’s better than you. Remember, you’ve made a promise.

  • A water gun that, in Dune style, feeds into your body through small plastic tubes as well as having a cooling and purifying system that keeps the water cool and can also shoot an ice beam at fire based creatures.

    That place just made me so thirsty and since there were no drink machines (just ammo, guns, medical supplies and shields in the vending machines) I think this would be the ultimate weapon in Borderlands, survival and no dying of thirst.

  • The Feature Rifle:

    Not content with leaving Borderlands as an FPS RPG with cel shading, coop, and randomly generated weapons, the FeatuRifle adds another feature to the game *every time it is fired*!!

    Your opponent got you pinned down in a corner, ready to fire mercilessly at your head and put an end to it all? Just fire your FeatuRifle, and instantly transform Borderlands into a pen and paper tabletop game! Roll a 20 and be on your way!

    Not content with the game being all *fair* and *balanced*? Use FeatuRifle’s alternate fire to transform Borderlands into an RTS in a flash! Rush your enemy with hundreds of units, each outiftted with their OWN FeatuRifle! It couldn’t get any less fair than this!

    FeatuRifle! Available at all good cel-shaded retailers now.

  • The Bop It Extreme Hybrid Blaster.

    This hand-held hybrid blaster can be equipped for essentially any situation. The operator can fire different types of projectiles by pulling specific triggers to input the appropriate ‘fire’ command. For example, to fire a bullet, simply ‘Bop it’. To activate the flame-thrower, ‘Bop it’ then ‘twist it’. To release the close-range blade from its sheath, just ‘Bop it’, ‘Twist it’, ‘Bop it’, ‘Pull it’, ‘Shake it’…

  • “The Nutrition gun”

    This weapon takes all the nasty food products and turns it into a bullet packed with fat and artifical flavouring. People are said to have felt good while being hit with the bullets but soon afterwards regret having been hit with a general feeling of stomach ache, drowsiness and overall depression. The best thing about this gun is the variety of ammunition available. There is the whopper bullet which was created using microwave technology! The Diet cola combined with mentos bullet is explosive, and finally the kebab with its toxic ingredients. ^_^

  • The Broken Street Date Amulet

    This powerup allows you access to cool new weapons 2 days before the other members of your party.

    (-5% perception due to blocking your ears against the whining of the rest of your party)

  • The Cooler

    This gun(if you can call it a gun)does the best thing a person can hope for out in a hot, dry and barren place. Thats right, a nice cool, refreshing glass of water while being showered in tiny droplets of water.
    You may call this the most useless gun in borderlands, but just imagine all that running and shooting, what do you need after a hard days work of looting?, The Cooler.

  • A kebab. Instead of chicken pieces, however, along the aluminum bar is all four main characters. And it grows or shrinks.

    So, attacked by bandits? Launch these guys on their arses.

    *Warning: May Contravene UN Policy*

  • New on Pandora’s menu

    The Aussie:

    A fine hand crafted polymer base, finished off with the simply classic yet satisfying toppings of large calibre ammo, rifle scope and eggs.

    For those who like their carnage extra hot, why not try out our Mexican:

    A six-barrelled base with the gourmet toppings of napalm, jalapeños, atomic chillies and atomic fallout. Spicy, and crispy!!

    For those stickier situations, look no further than the Fromage:

    With Gorgonzola cheese, Buffalo Mozzarella, Buffalo snot and extra Goo, no ones walking away until you’re completely satisfied.

    Also on our in store menu, Pizzas, meatballs, cannonballs, cannon fodder and beef jerky for those extra long hauls out in the wastes!

  • The Radio.

    ‘What?’ you’re no doubt thinking, ‘a Radio isn’t a weapon!’ While in most cases you’d be 100% correct, in this case you’re wrong.
    If you ever find yourself in a spot of bother, surrounded by a gang of ‘badass raiders’ turn this baby on and turn the dial to ‘1’. The radio will now play music from bands like Blink 182 and Slipknot. Any sane enemy will immediately forget about you and the killing of you, and run away from you, fleeing the horrible noise you’ve unleashed.
    However, if you’re by yourself, without an enemy in sight, then you might want to switch the dial to ‘2’. Now the radio will play good, inspirational tunes to inspire you to victory! You’ll be surprised how much better you perform when you’ve been listening to you favourite track as opposed to not listening to anything during your long treks throughout the wasteland.
    Also comes with a complementary set of headphones to block out the horrible noise from the ‘1’ setting.

  • Staff of Deckard

    Melee weapon when you strike enemies the staff will chant “Stay a while and listen” 10% chance of causing enemies to sit down and listen to the staff waffle on about some other world 5% chance to cause enemies to get so incredibly annoyed with the staff that they go beserk attacking anything nearby in sheer mindless frustration…this second effect increases in chance by 5% with every subsequent hit

  • “The U.A.G.S”- The Ultimate Action-packed Gaming Summoner

    This action packed, light weight, customizable gun allows you to summon characters, weapons, vehicles and even objects!!!
    Summon 1000 master chiefs and destroy your foes! Make 1000 Spies from TF series and disguise them into your enemy and back stab them and take down an entire army! Use 5000 Ferraries and run down your enemies!! Summon Barbie and make her tease and flirt with the guys! Use the Atlanta Falcons and tackle your enemies to victory!! Shred Power chords on your guitar and burst your opponents ears with awesome music! Summon vehicles from the F-Zero series and speed your way through towns and caverns! Summon mech warriors and show them who’s boss! Summon tanks, planes even mario karts and use them to your advantage! Tired ? Hot? why not summon up a fully air conditioned, fully armoured building that has a extremly comfortable bed ? Out of Ammo or Health ? Summon Dispensers and regain your ammo and health! Wana actually play Borderlands in with your gaming heroes’ costume ? No problem! Use Snake’s costume with a camouflage suit! The choices are endless… and you make the choices!!

    The gun is so easy to manage a baby can handle it! Just scroll down through an endless list of game titles, choose the game, object, character, vehicle or weapon and summon it in seconds! No Ammo required!! I’m serious!!! So what are you waiting for pick it up now! Your gaming nightmares are over with this new state-of-the-art gun

  • The Social Networking SMG – Killing skags isn’t any fun unless you have somone to share it with. Thankfully, the Social Networking SMG (SNSMG) will instantly let all your 783 Facebook and MySpace friends know whenever you’ve managed to score a critical hit against someone or killed that hard-sought after man with the high bounty.

    Because it’s not a social networking site unless you’re recieving 300 application notifications a day.

  • The Botter

    Shoot yourself with this baby and watch as your body comes to life entirely on its own, engaging in all those monotonous and boring adventures for you! Rest and relax as your animated body tears down enemies for the thousandth time in search of that useless tidbit you really really want!

    Note:
    Body may become caught between obstacles such as trees and wall edges. Actual conscious effort to move may be required to correct this issue.
    Botter malfunctions may result in permanent loss of bodily controls.

  • My Laptop

    While not a gun in anyway it sure to burn through or melt any surface its placed on, cause many a burn and crash at any given time for no reason, even with the screen down and idol.

    Best used as a trap to confuse and irritate any who come across it leaving them vulnerable to a quick snipe. Secondly it could be used to send yourself into a blinding rage of frustration in which nothing and no one can stop you.

  • The Totoro Whistle

    This small instrument plays a tune that causes the large, furry creature to land on a random enemy.

    Obviously only works outside.

  • The “H.T.I” or “Handheld tweeting inducer” is the new bio-logical weapon being developed by Gearbox weapon co.

    The “H.T.I” fires a near invisible short wave laser that directly penetrates the targets brain, The target is then overwhelmed by a multitude of voices telling them seemingly pointless things they are doing or are going to do, The target then has a compulsion to share this and may pull out a cellular device or sit at a “personal computer” for hours effectively immobilizing and distracted.

    The “H.T.I” will have a limited release and come in a 20 or 40 clip model.

  • Claptrap Recycler 8000!

    Getting sick and tired of those presistently annoying robots? Can’t stand their rediculous little dance? Can’t be bothered to go find the repair kit?

    Well i have an alternative for you!

    Grab that little sucker by the antena and cram him into the barrel of the CR8K, take aim, and fire, forcing your little friend through a blender and spray your enemies with high velocity nuts and bolts!
    On the odd occasion that your robotic pal does not get grinded into 100 pieces, he will draw fire from your enemies because they too cannot stand to hear another sniveling wimper. Enjoy!

  • Stereotyper

    Shotgun

    The Stereotyper, when fired, automatically equips you in a flawless suit with sunglasses. No matter what blood and gore would stain your clothes, they stay immaculate throught your adventures. Also equipped are a pair of stylish yet rugged wrap-around sunglasses. You immediately recieve a smoking hot babe as a follower, with unresolved sexual tension that will make your life a misery, yet strangely compelling, should you choose to leave it unresolved.

    Any car you spawn becomes an impeccable black four door 1967 Chevy Impala (hey, I’m a Supernatural fan as well!). Also, your guns run out of ammo just before you finish an enemy, forcing you to do an unrealistic yet awesome melee move and take their guns.

  • Are you a lonely citizen of the post-apocalyptic world of Pandora? Are you always looking for that “special someone” you’ve been longing to find? Well wait no more because we have the gun that’s just perfect for you!

    The Perfuminator-1000x!

    This gun can brew up and store recipes for over 100 different fragrances using an inbuilt computer. Guaranteed to find that perfect soul mate you’ve been looking for! Any old junk or loot lying around can be put into the Perfuminator-1000x and mixed to create a scent that will make any nose happy to be a nose. Dials on the gun will determine the strength and volume of fragrance you wish to make. Fragrances can be stored in little vials located in the front and back of the gun.

    BUT QUICK! Buy within the next 24 hours and we’ll even throw in a set of blank cards perfect for making perfume samples.

    *May not work on Robots or Animals
    *Product not guaranteed to find you that “special someone”
    *We do not endorse the brewing of toxic combinations of chemicals as we are for love, not violence

    Meh, no point of me entering any more as I won’t stand a chance of winning but I guess it’s still fun writing an entry.

  • the LAVA launcher or PNEUMONOULTRAMICROSCOPICSILICOVOLCANOKONIOSIS Launcher for short.

    the weapon works by creating a tear in the space time continuum, thus creating an event horision inside the closest volcano. then using what we will call “majic” to save time, it violently expeels a stream of extreamly high presusre lava. it is not safe for general use due to it’s side effects for using this gun. the user catches a rather bad case of PNEUMONOULTRAMICROSCOPICSILICOVOLCANOKONIOSIS, thus implying it’s name.

  • iPwn

    Tired of hearing the repedative tunes of the iNgame music? iKnow iAm. That’s why we’ve created the iPwn. This is not just a gun, but an mp3 player. Load your favourite songs onto this machine, saving you time by not having to alt+tab(reach into your pocket for your mp3 player)as you scavenge the wastelands. For added convenience, we’ve designed the iPwn with just 1 button! tap once to change song, double tap to fire, and hold down the button for 5 seconds to reload your ammo. Prices start at $2999.95 for 1 gig* of storage, but upgrade to the 2 gig* model for and extra $1999.95.

    *storage capacity listed is the raw storage. Mandatory software may take around 500 mb.

  • October 14
    This morning I was talking to Randy out inside the chemical sheds while we shielded ourselves against the glowing, irradiated dust storm that was overwhelming the small town. He talked about a rocket launcher he saw in the wilderness, being wielded by a giant of a man, 7 feet tall, all sinewy muscle and scars that goes by the name of Mephistopheles. Made of a strange, shimmering metal he only described as “Damascus Steel”, with ammunition as long as my arm. Tomorrow I will go in search of this weapon, and put down its owner.

    October 17
    I’m in pain. Survived a bitter firefight against Mephistopheles’ gang. I took out 27 by the time I managed to drag myself down the corridor to his Throne room. A twisted room that stank of rotted flesh and stale fruit (Yes, I still remember those… I had one as a youngin’). Surprisingly, he gave the weapon up without a fight. I suppose that my reputation precedes me. He has a LOT of cleaning up to do. Left his stash of goods alone. This gun is beautiful. I have 7 rounds about 2 feet long, and the rocket launcher itself has to be 5 feet, yet weigh less than my current rifle. I shall test it on my way home.

    October 18
    It fired confetti before exploding on my shoulder. At least I know why it had the words “Bitter Irony Bazooka” scratched into the side. As I lie here dying I can hear the raiders laughi

  • ~The Big Bad Wolf Gun~

    With enough external tubing, and archaic-seeming light settings to qualify as either a toilet designed by M.C. Escher or something out of a Tesla catalogue, the B.B.W. Gun taps into a parallel Universe eerily reminiscent of the Fairy Tales collected by the Brothers Grimm.

    In this particular case, upon activation and successful hit, the target is randomly transformed either into an interminably cute little girl, or anthropomorphic pig with a germanic accent. Simultaneously conjured is a Big Bad Wolf (TM) which will proceed to chase the transformed target and messily consume it.

  • The Evangelisor.
    This bible pumping messiah of a gun shoots iron nails at a rate of 4 a second, effectively crucifying any foe you come up against with little to no effort. Secondary fire comes in the form of holy water grenades in order to get rid of all those pesky unholy monsters. Comes with megaphone and a copy of the bible to effectively spread the word of our good lord almighty!

  • The Mind’s Blink

    A helmet which focus psychic energy into one’s mind, and with a blink of an eye, whatever one wish will be granted. The helmet works like:

    1. One wears the helmet
    2. One wish to create or destroy
    3. With a blink, the energy focused in the helmet is released
    4. To create something, the helmet’s energy will cause the protons, electrons and neutrons readily available in atoms in the air to form the elements and particles needed for the creation of one’s wish
    5. To destroy something, the helmet’s energy will disintegrate the object

    results will show in a matter of seconds

  • Peace Charm

    While one has to die for another to live in Borderlands, no one has come to realise that happiness cannot be found in such a situation. So lets make peace, in one of the two ways available

    First way:
    1. Works as a message transmitter. One speaks into the Peach Charm and all radio in the world will convey your speech.
    2. The psychic mechanism in the Peach Maker will dominate everyone’s minds through your message, and everyone can live in peace

    Second way:
    1. If those minds are too strong, it will emit a radio frequency which will melt the brain to anyone who listens to it, including you.

    ‘Some say peace and war work both ways: without war, theres no peace; without peace, theres no war. So why don’t we cut the chase and eliminate those who think this way?’

  • The Fakeout.

    A huge Bazooka that when fired, folds out a little flag with the word “BANG” on it. Firing a second time will launch the giant ballistic missile that is attached to the end of said flag.

  • The Pirate:

    For those that have a need for the wind in their hair and a optic-fibre internet connection but are stuck with the wastelands scenic dirt vistas and poor 512K cable ‘speed’ this gun is for you!

    A simple pull of the trigger will send you on your way to pre-release, free goodness. All the things you ever wanted available with the squeeze of a trigger.

    *NOTE: The Pirate has been deemed unsafe for use after a governmental probe into related ban-hammering’s. After prolonged useage of the pirate the power system is now known to injure the user in the form of a high impact discharge, also known as a ban-hammer. As such the weapon has been pulled from wasteland store shelves, but on rare occurrences pirated from an existing Pirate weapon. Just remember to continually pirate the Pirate every few days. We call this the irony cycle.

  • The Inevitable Rifle.
    This gun, which thanks to being heavily modular in design allows for the incredible saving of time by already functioning as every interesting gun from other games and movies. Rather then having to try and make your own version of that particular gun in Perfect Dark or Rambo, using this rifle you can have it function as anything cool by a similar mechanic as the Laptop gun transforming from laptop, to gun, to turret. (Ironically the laptop gun is a function that this rifle is unable to fufill. But you can still get incredibly cheap kills with the BFG or Farsight modes!).

  • The Imagigun

    The wastelands of Borderlands are a terrible place. Filled with many elements design to test your sanity. Harsh chemical spills, toxic venoms and brutal heat can all lead to psychotic episodes leaving you in the cold, soulless hands of your own imagination and real guns just don’t cut the imaginary mustard in these situations.

    Using an ancient design this gun is forged by you own hands by keeping your thumb straight up, your index finger straight and folding the remaining fingers into your palm. To fire the Imagigun you are required to yell out the firing mode. This can include “bang, bang” for power, “pow, pow” for silent kills and “pew, pew, pew” for rapid fire. Don’t forget to raise your hand slightly after each shot for maximum effect.

    Note: The Imagigun will not work on any real enemies but when you’ve been sitting in the back seat of a car leaking petrol in the hot Sun, it’ll make short work of the Imp on your shoulder telling you to kill all your teammates.

  • Id hate to be a sore looser but Dominic Harman had placed 2 for the day. Does this not violate the competition terms or conditions?

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