Do you have what it takes to get a review published right here on Kotaku? Richard does, as he gets increasingly wound up by Capcom's survival horror adventure.
Yes, that’s right, we’re now publishing reader reviews here on Kotaku. This is your chance to deliver sensible game purchasing advice to the rest of the Kotaku community.
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This review was submitted by Richard Hunt. If you’ve played Resident Evil 5, or just want to ask Richard more about it, leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Resident Evil 5 (PC)
Perhaps I'm a little late to tackle this racist, steroid filled gun opera of a game, but that doesn't make me any less entitled to spout my oh-so-unnecessary opinion of what I think may be one of the most disappointing games I've played since Daikatana.
Villains who may possibly have actual disabilities: I'm looking at you Ricardo Irving. It was a brave choice to feature a villain early in the piece that resembles Leonardo Dicaprio from his What's Eating Gilbert Grape days and for the most part it pays off. When he bursts out with tentacles and guts oozing everywhere (spoiler alert; this happens to everyone in the game) and screams at the top of his lungs "I've had an extreme makeover!" I could help but express my grin.
Control switching: The PC version makes it very easy to switch between keyboard + mouse controls and the 360 controller. Occasionally I found moments where I wanted a steady aim so I switched to mouse. But for the most part I played with a controller as I found the mouse too floaty and the turning speed a pain for most of the game.
"That dumb bitch": Trust a video game to turn me into a chauvinistic misogynist dick. I found myself crying this time and time again as Sheva would refuse to do anything useful. My favourite moment was when we were going up an elevator, I would constantly call her to cover me so as to stop her firing on enemies below who we would never encounter again, so as to conserve ammo. And don't get me started on the enemy AI.
The inventory system: A step back from the previous game. Less weapons, less upgrades, poor shuffling of items and your partner unable to combine herbs. Chris must work part time as a pharmacist, that would explain his giant arms.
The controls: Capcom should talk to EA's Visceral Games about how to control their next game.
Resident Evil 5 is a gorgeous game stuck in the early '00s. Shitty AI, stupid story, terrible controls and boring gameplay make for a game saved only by its shiny engine and a decorated past.
Reviewed by: Richard Hunt
You can have your Reader Review published on Kotaku. Send your review to us at the usual address. Make sure it’s written in the same format as above and in under 300 words - yes, we’ve upped the word limit. We’ll publish the best ones we get and the best of the month will win a Madman DVD prize pack.