Tabloid Outrageously Claims: Wii Boxing Is "Dangerously Lifelike"

Hey, you know what makes a domestic violence arrest funny and lighthearted? Wii Boxing. At least according to one supermarket tabloid's interpretation of what went down between Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller.

This just in from the Weekly World News - a Tooth Fairy gazette that straight-faced writes about stuff like Bat Boy and alien abductions of cheerleaders, so consider the source. It's like comic books for old ladies at the hairdo place. In fact, if the Weekly World News reported "Owen Good works for Kotaku," I would call Crecente to ask why I had been fired.

Anyway, they say Sheen - who was in fact arrested - and wife Mueller sparred in Wii boxing, "the dangerously lifelike boxing simulation game." But not realistic enough for the competitive couple. "Soon enough an argument arose over the Wii not being responsive or realistic enough, and a real boxing match broke out in the living room." Mmm hm.

WWN says Sheen suffered "three broken ribs and two cracked teeth", and his victorious wife taunted him by text after he got out of the slammer. They also say Sheen's middle name is Inigo Montoya. Charlie Sheen Arrested [Weekly World News, story and faked pic. The site is parody and/or satire. I mean, really, Megan Fox is a man? Plus it has a WordPress favicon.]


Comments

    Um...what?

    Alright, now I think about it, there is actually a little dab of realism in Wii Boxing. But the most damage it could do to normal people is a couple of hundred bucks to repair a TV if they let go of the Wiimote without sticking on the wrist strap.

      "... a Tooth Fairy gazette that straight-faced writes about stuff like Bat Boy and alien abductions of cheerleaders, so consider the source. It’s like comic books for old ladies at the hairdo place. In fact, if the Weekly World News reported “Owen Good works for Kotaku,” I would call Crecente to ask why I had been fired...WWN says Sheen suffered “three broken ribs and two cracked teeth”, and his victorious wife taunted him by text after he got out of the slammer. They also say Sheen’s middle name is Inigo Montoya."

      Please don't tell me you're taking this story seriously after reading all that.

    These things are always written by a single crackpot crazy person with dreams of editing a big time publication. Granted this person seems a bit more off the rails than the rest.

    I hope this article doesn't refer to the Boxing part of Wii Sports. That's not too realistic, all the Mii's do is bob their heads back and forth as they get hit. There isn't blood or bruising, but that's understandble, as it is a G rated game and is designed and aimed towards families and young children, so ultra-realism isn't a good idea.

    I guess in the WWN's world, it's lucky they weren't playing SFIV, or someone would have caught a hadouken to the face...

    This sounds almost like something Atkinson might spout, "'Harmless' Wii fun promotes domestic violence! Think of the chiiilllddren!"

      You've got a really good point there, regarding the Atkinson stuff.

      EDIT: Given that more credible sources are now reporting that he held a knife to his wife's throat, I feel a bit bad about kidding around with this story.

      Violence against women: Flux says no...

    Also, I hope Martin Sheen hasn't been killed by a six-fingered man - best fictional president America ever had...

    Sheen's a pussy.

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