Chuck Norris, Master Chief, You Apply For Mass Effect 2 Job

Last week, a job ad went up on Seek calling for biotic-powered super soldier recruits to save the human race. Despite obviously being some viral marketing for Mass Effect 2, it seems plenty of people replied. Wanna see who?

The ad was pulled by Seek for being a hoax after being live for around 24 hours. We've managed to get our hands on some of the cover letters sent in by over a hundred prospective super soldiers. You'll find a few of our favourites below.

Kotaku reader Matt was one of the applicants. He even got a reply back from Cerberus. You can read their email at the bottom of the post.

Chuck Norris. Enough said.


I'd like to apply for the position of Biotic-Powered Super-Soldier. I have well over 80 confirmed kills and can work in any environment. I am extremely flexible and can work in teams, and have an ability to improvise and adapt to any situation.

My accomplishments include destroying ring worlds and saving Earth and humankind. While I haven't used the MC-77 Missile Launcher or the X-8A Avenger Assault Rifle, I am extremely proficient with the MA5C ICWS Rifle, M41 SSR MAV/AW Rocket Launcher and SRS99D-S2 AM Sniper Rifle as well as other non-human weapons.

I will provide my own MJOLNIR MARK-V armour.

Please contact my personal assistant Cortana to arrange an interview time.


Master Chief John-117

I love to shoot shit and sci-fi rules, hook a brother up

Dear sirs,

I would like to submit my interest in your recently advertised position of 'Biotic-Powered Super-Soldier', as listed on

While I am currently employed in a technical capacity within the real-estate sector, and have had no direct experience in the mercenary-for-hire field, I feel that the skills and work history I have acquired within an office environment provide me with a number of strengths that will translate well to a death & destruction oriented role.

While I have yet to work on an intergalactic-scale, I have demonstrated experience working with lawyers, sales staff and librarians - certainly the most wretched and dangerous scum found on the planet Earth. I feel this has prepared me to take the next step and work on an inter-planetary and inter-galactice level.

In a number of my previous roles, I was directly responsible for the planning and implementation of a number of small office pranks, in one case even bringing about the destruction of a whole coffee-mug. As enemy aliens and coffee-mugs are very similar in operation, I feel I could certainly be a valuable member of the team in this regard.

I have not yet saved the human race, but I have attended the course, and hope to take the exam within the next 3 months.

Key experience and skills: * 12 confirmed, 132 unconfirmed kills (and a fear of ever recieving another goldfish as a birthday present) * Extensive hands-on experience with the STN-36B Desk Drawer (and caddy attachment), PT-7 Office Chair, AND M1N3 Power Stapler. As you would be aware, these equipment certifications are directly transferrable to the MC-77 and X-8A * Well-documented hands-on approach to 'frowning slightly as if annoyed'. While certainly my weakest skill, I feel in the correct environment, and with the right guidance, I could certainly shine in the area of killing.

In summary, I am self-motivated individual with a goal-oriented approach, and would welcome the opportunity to transition into a successful role as a Biotic-Powered Super-Soldier with Cerberus. I bring a wealth and knowledge with me that would have an immense effect on the table, perhaps even on a massive scale.

I look forward to hearing from you in the near future.

Kinda regards,

To whom it may concern,

I am a hard and dedicated worker an I thrive in even the harshest of conditions. I don’t take no for an answer and I never back down. I am proficient with over 200 forms of weaponry and 5 styles of unarmed combat.

I don’t think I am perfect for the position you currently have open, I know it.

You have 3 standard days to reply with positive confirmation or I will find you and I will take my job from your cold dead hands.

Warmly yours, XXXXXX XXXXXX

And attached resume:

Objective To obtain the perfect headshot everytime


8 years of ‘customer service’

Excellent written and verbal communication skills, with an eye for detail

Extremely productive in a high volume, high stress, environment

Self starter with a can do attitude








Freestyle Knitting

Employment History

1999 – Current – Casual Hitman

For the past decade I have been in and out of contracts constantly with a kill total now ranking around the 93 area. I have never missed a mark and my employers are always pleased with my work, often providing bonuses for a “job well done”.

1997-1999 – McDonalds – Counter hand

I was charged with serving customers and allocating orders. While I enjoyed my time with the Mc Donalds corporation, my employment came to a sudden halt when I shot my Manager in the heart at point blank range… and then once again in the head “just to be sure”.


J. Chan school of martial arts – 1999 – 2001 Graduate with honors

Sgt. Slaughters house of pain – 2000 – 2002 Graduate with honors

Advanced diploma of killing 2003-2006 Graduate with honors

Monash University – Occupational Health and Safety – 2003 – 2004 Graduate with honors

And here's the reply Matt received from Commander Shepard herself:

Dear Matt,

Thank you for your interest in the role with Cerberus to save all of human kind,

We are reviewing your application and will be in contact with you if there is interest.

580 kills eh? That's rather impressive. You wanna join me on my quest to fight for the lost? A noble cause you voice. But do you really have what it takes to battle a most heathen of enemy in some of the most rugged and unforgiving terrain? uh-huh I hear you say. Yeah, we'll see. The life of a mercenary is one of loneliness and self-dependence - you cant trust anyone, even me. Trust will get you killed boy. Should you be the successful applicant for our merc job, you will be issued with all you need to defeat the scum of the galaxy, including Terminus armour.

In the meantime please head to for more detail on the mission.

To view other applicants' responses, please go to

Save Mankind - Fight For The Lost

Yours Sincerely, Commander Shepard

Yes, I know it's another publicity stunt we fell for. But kudos to EA for coming up with something creative and even more respect for everyone who applied in such good humour. Let's hope there's more to come.


    Holy crap mines up there!! w00t!! lol

    I'm second last for that starts with "to whom it may concern"

    I had a reply from Mr. Sheppard too, and mine was far more amusing.
    "Dear Troy,

    Thank you for your interest in the role with Cerberus to save all of human kind,

    We are reviewing your application and will be in contact with you if there is interest.

    Your irony is amusing - "I will take my job from your cold dead hands. Warmly yours, Troy". But being a comedian wont get keep you alive for a second in this vast and merciless galaxy. The assassin who is the successful applicant will need far more than just comedy, although there are times when it all you can do is laugh - with a hole the size of planet earth through your upper tors, blood spurting every which way. That's right boy, this universe ain't no nursery rhyme - it'll consume you in one bite if you don't have yer wits about you!

    In the meantime please head to for more detail on the mission.

    To view other applicants' responses, please go to

    Save Mankind - Fight For The Lost

    Yours Sincerely,

    Commander Shepard "

    Apparently he doubts my skills just because i have a sense of humor.

    We'll see who gets the last laugh Commander... oh we'll see...

    ....please don't shoot me....

      Yay that was my reply up there :P

      Agree with the article in that it was a very clever and was a good way to ensure support from the hardcore ME players. Kudos to EA Australia.

        Well Matt, we know 2 things for sure...

        1. We rock - hells yeah

        2. If you take that job off me, so help me i'll hunt you down and have your head on a pike..

        Apart from that, well done mate :)

      Loved the addition of Occupational Health and Safety to the list of pain and killing certifications.

    Another superb display of wit by the gaming community. Huzzah!

    Any chance of seeing some more? Good way to keep the smiles going on this wet Monday morn.

    The best was definitely the Real Estate agent, although the 'Chief came pretty close.

    Thats actually really cool marketing, very amusing :)

    What do you mean it was a hoax.

    Oh crap, shouldn't have quit my last job then.

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