You’ve only got two more chances left to win the limited Climax edition of Sega and Devil May Cry creator Hideki Kamiya’s hair-raising new action game. Find out how to enter and who won Wednesday’s draw after the jump.
Thanks to Sega we have five Bayonetta Climax Editions on Xbox 360 to give away this week. We’ll be giving away one per day until Friday.
Inside the Aussie exclusive limited edition you’ll find:
* A copy of Bayonetta on Xbox 360 in premium slipcase packaging * A replica Scarborough Fair, Bayonetta’s beloved pistol which she has strapped to her hands and feet * A 36-page hardcover art book * A CD of the game’s soundtrack
Scroll down for a pic of everything inside the Bayonetta Climax Edition.
So how do you win?
Given Bayonetta’s rather raunchy nature, we figured it was time to get you all writing limericks again. After all, the best limericks are always just a little bit naughty.
Your limerick must begin with some variation on the line: “There once was a girl called Bayonetta…” And it must follow standard AABBA limerick rhyming form.
Leave your limericks in the comments below. You must enter by midnight to be eligible for the day’s draw and winners will be announced at 10am the following day when the new draw opens.
You may only enter once per day. If multiple entries are received, only the first one will count. If you wish to enter the next day’s draw, you must enter a new limerick.
Good luck!
And Wednesday’s winner is… warcroft!
Here’s warcroft’s winning limerick:
uʍop ǝpısdn pןɹoʍ ʎɯ pǝuɹnʇ ǝɥs ssıʞ ɐ ǝɯ ʍǝןq uǝɥʇ sdıɥ ɹǝɥ pǝʎɐʍs ǝɥs punoɹɐ pǝʞɔıʞ ǝɥs suoɯǝp puɐ sןǝƃuɐ uʍoʇ oʇ ǝɯɐɔ ɐʇʇǝuoʎɐq pǝɯɐu ןıɹƃ ɐ
Is it a sin to admire beauty? It is when it’s for Bayonetta…
So Bayonetta came to town last week
to show me some guns strapped to her feet
“That’s impractical!” said I,
Though I cannot tell a lie
I was staring at assets I dare not repeat.
There once was a girl named Bayonetta,
and heaven was all out to get her
but through shedding her clothes
she annihilated her foes
and achieved a climax forever.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Who gave death threats to all that met her,
You’d look at her arse,
she’d break yours like glass,
and then after that you’d know who’s better
I like this one a lot. I hope it wins.
OMFG! I won!
Thank you so much Kotaku!
Congrats Mate!
Did you hand pick those characters, or is there a program that you used to turn the text upside down?
http://www.fliptext.org
There once was a girl named Bayonetta,
Who’s legs just went on forever,
She looks like she’d spank me,
Slap and disgrace me,
If she were real I would totally let her
There once was this girl named Bayonetta
I wrote her a long, long love letter
I though she would marvel
Instead she was startled
All that’s left of my heart is blood splatter
There once was a witch Bayonetta
Who’s enemies were out to get her
To sleep, she was set
A spell to make her forget
And she woke with a pair of Baretta
Great work warcroft!
Bayonetta; all the men hail her.
Complexion; couldn’t be any paler.
Guns; Scarborough Fair.
Clothes; made from hair.
Glasses; without them she’d be a failure.
Bayonetta’s a girl you can’t pass
No better witch found with more class
A gun on each limb
But still stunningly trim
Her best weapon, of course, her ass.
Bayonetta’s a girl full of sin
But there’s worse than her gun-shoes within.
There are baddies who cry,
Even wish they could die,
At her soul-searing phrase “Is it in?”
A girl called Bayonetta lost her memory,
A feisty opponent with boundless energy,
Transforming her hair,
Into whatever will scare,
Here’s hoping you’re not the enemy!
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Took herself seriously as a hairdresser
Should have known what offends
Pointed out her split ends
Now I’m writing this from the hereafter
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
whose chest was too big for her sweater
whilst casting some spells
she blew off both girls
and now she sounds just like Eddie Vedder.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Who was as hot as the Sun if not better.
She had Librarian Glasses,
Gun shoes that kicked peoples’ asses,
And a chest that made people wetter.
Bayonetta’s a witch, quite candid
Her torture moves sexy, not sordid
Easy mode’s the best
with just one button to press
Means ‘climax’ is still reached one handed
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Her hair turned into leather.
But don’t be misled,
There’s none on her head,
Turns out it’s from her nethers.
Bayonetta, a hot Umbra Witch…
This is one lady you don’t call a bitch..
Her Feet and Gun, how it Joins..
A Kick and Pow, goodbye Groins..
That one injury needs more than a stitch..
Bayonetta was a large chested girl.
Who could kill you by giving her hair a twirl.
But if you did bed her,
without getting deader,
her climax would make your toes curl!
Ever so ready my girl Bayonetta
Steaming with sweat, she is aroused as ever
Thrusting her buns
She whips out her guns
Blasting all foes as she moistens with pleasure
A witch called Bayonetta has made me happy,
Wielding her guns: Parsley, Sage, Thyme and Rosemary,
She took aim at my chest,
Told me to undressed,
I’m so grateful that she is so kinky!
So there’s this game coming out named Bayonetta
Her moves are as if she’s from the gutter,
She beats guys to a pulp
and a climax that makes you go GULP!
Yet nothing more than a rehash of arcade bomb Vendetta
Bayonetta is so tasteful with her latex seduction
As my insides experience intense chemical eruption
With the blast of her stylish gun
Goosebumps spread like midnight sex fun
Unfortunately the pleasures cause by my vacuums suction
XD
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Embroiled in a deadly vendetta
The hot Umbran Witch
Would cut a Lumen bitch
But hopefully she’d then kiss it better.
At work, I was thinking of Bayonetta
When my belt buckle broke altogether
I’m not lying, you see
This did happen to me!
I guess I should’ve known better…
Bayonetta is one of those game chicks
Who looks rather like a dominatrix
Wearing skin tight jump suits
With guns on her boots
She’d probably do well in the Matrix
There once was a girl Bayonetta,
Who’s game was released in Australia,
While it’s deserved there’s no question,
The camera angle I’ve chosen,
Shows Atkinson might really know better
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Who was violently sexy in leather
Nerds want some virtual railin’
She looks a tad like Sarah Palin
Some cosplay could bring them together!
There was a girl called Bayonetta who came to Vigrid
Don’t be fooled by the latex this girl is frigid
If you stare too long at her perfect pair
She’ll introduce you to Scarborough Fair
And that thing in your pants wont be the only thing rigid.
Bayonetta, Bayonetta, charming so
not your body or hair
that is making me stare
but your style and grace
putting me in a daze.
This girl Bayonetta is hard to beat
She carry’s a sword and has guns on her feet
Don’t get on her bad side you might feel some pain
As she climaxes on you again and again
Are we still talking about a game?
There once was this lass Bayonetta
Who went to the shops to buy feta
But while she was looking
At cheese for her cooking
She realised haloumi was better
Bayonnetta came to Sony’s machine,
And met a problem unforeseen.
For an Xbox she’d opt,
As her progress was stopped,
Damn! The PS3 loading screen.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
a wicked witch with a tight suit that is not leather
but woven with a spell
on her long locks from hell
with a flirtatious wink ensure you will never forget her
There once was a girl, Bayonetta
Vile witch, if you ever have met her
A negative review
She’ll waste you, pew pew!
Your slander may make you regret…argh!
There once was a girl Bayonetta,
The darling of all who reviewed her,
The story’s dull and inane,
The music’s bat-shit insane,
But as game play goes it’s a master
Bayonetta was her name,
Torturing boys gave her fame,
Please lift that hair…
What’s under there?
Oh where’s the mod for this game?
There once was a girl called Bayonetta.
Whom a jealous Kratos decided to one better.
So he doned a suit of skin tight leather from his era.
And made himself a wig out of the hair of hera.
You couldn’t even tell the two apart when they were together.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Whose glasses made her much sexier
Being a geek
Is so very chic
Sega’s got us hook, line and sinker
Bayonetta, a vixen so hot,
she knows how to flaunt what shes got,
with a wave of her hair,
shell unleash despair,
piling corpses sky-high left to rot,
I bought the Climax edition today at JB.
The gun is absolute rubbish, I couldn’t believe it. It looks like it was painted by a blind 5 year old.
Not worth buying at all.
Bayonetta was the girls name,
To write a limerick was the aim,
But nothing would rhyme,
I don’t have the time,
Stuff it, I’ll just buy the game.
I told my girl to cosplay Bayonetta
But do it, I still cannot get her.
She shouted “You Brute!
She’s not even cute!”
I said “Unlike you, her curves still give me pleasure.”
Hurrah for being unnecessarily mean to someone who puts up with you!
Have we all forgotten Vanessa from pn03,
She too had a mighty fine booty believe you me,
Each room she would clear with deadly grace,
Much like bayonetta, but with a slightly prettier face,
If you don’t believe me, find pn03 and you shall see.
Do you get a free Xbox with the game?
bayonetta’s a really fine lass
they wanted us to write something crass
I would never dare covet
that sweet golden crumpet
to do so would be rather rash.
That girl, Bayonetta, my heroine
causing a moment of indecision
such perky 3d
rendered so tastily
oops, i broke my tv again
There Once was a girl Bayonetta
who made Batman a little erecta
while in the Batmobile
she let out a great squeal
and said please don’t hit the ejector
In case you couldn’t tell, I’m running low on ideas.
A witch of a girl was that Bayonetta,
She could shape shift from cat to bird and feather.
With the flick of her arse
She could create such a farce
Its a shame she is mere pixels slapped together.
Bayonetta is her name
Kicking supernatural ass is her game
She moves so fast
Those monsters wont last
Has there ever been a limerick so lame?
Bayonetta’s a girl you don’t want to meet
But if you do please stare at her feet.
Because if you look above her waist.
You’ll leave with less than half a face.
Your intestines allover the street.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Her name broke rhyme structure altogether.
This lim’erick is made,
For a game to be played.
If this contest is won, all the better.