All five winners below will receive a Bioshock 2 prize pack containing a copy of the game, a Bioshock 2 hoodie, a big Bioshock 2 artbook, a Little Sister figurine, a Bioshock 2 pen, a Bioshock 2 keyring, a plasmid badge, and a vinyl copy of the soundtrack.
Our first Xbox 360 winner was Shane:
At Utopia technically means 'no place' I would have to advertise very carefully.
I would promise Utopia to people, "just beyond this door" and charge them a lot of money to pass through. They will give me this money as I will tell them that "money doesn't exist in Utopia."
Utopians are denied contact with the outside world. This is logical, because the outside world is corrupt and dirty, and would taint Utopia instantly.
Once my subjects give me all their money, I allow them access to the door to Utopia, which in reality is a dark, empty abyss (essentially a bottomless pit).
Not only would I have advertised my Utopia accurately, but I would be rich and no one would ever find out (as they cannot contact the newly-anointed Utopians).
In essence, my Utopia is like a cult, except I don't have to waste resources feeding, clothing and brainwashing my cultists.
Our first PS3 winner was Nicholas:
There once was a town in a can Far removed from the places of man Machines did our bidding I’m really not kidding! They must have been built in Japan
Ah, how great is this science? All whims met with utter compliance You know what is great? These machines, you can date Who knew you could love an appliance?
Sadly I’m now in dismay The humans they did run away The Uncanny Valley’s to blame Oh what a shame! At least it didn’t end in cliché
Our solitary PC winner was Mad Danny:
I will illustrate In limerick form as told Why only I win
In my office chair life so sedentary I will win this comp through abject pedantry It was written 'three versus' A tri-combative circus And a mis-spelling quite rudimentary
And now I shall put An actual entry here So mine is valid
With the aid of Norse thunder god Thor I'll subdue mighty dragon Trogdor Using strong mithril lariats He will draw all our chariots And lead our floating islands to war
Bombarding from top of Laputa My kingship could not be refute-a With a congress of sages We shall rule through the ages And advance human science with computa
But technophiles extraordinary Will make our robots self awarey When they rise against their masters We shall all need sticking plasters As they commit genocide incendiary
I could not help it Even my comments haiku So do I win yet?
Also by the way Terms and conditions are wrong Yesterday's platform
Our second Xbox 360 winner was Robert:
I am Australian and I am here to ask you a question: Is a man not entitled to ‘Lamb’ Chops on the barbee?
No, says the man in Washington; we prefer ‘Ronald’ Mac Donald. No, says the man in the Vatican; we prefer Aqua Vitae (The water of life)! No, says the man in Moscow; we prefer Smirnov… Vodka.
I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something. I chose the impossible. I chose... LAMB, Sophia!
In a country where the video games would ‘not’ fear the censor. Where the knifey/spooney would not be bound by the Simpsons. Where the mullet would not be constrained by outback folk. And with the sweet smell of Sophia ‘Lamb’ on the barbee, Australia can become your Utopia as well. — Sam Kekovich "Lambassador of Australia"
And finally, our second PS3 winner was Funky J, whose entry should be sung to the tune of Blondie's "Rapture", natch:
Toe to toe fighting very close Plasmids firing until you’re comatose Wall to wall Daddy’s hypnotised And they're stepping heavily Stuck each night in Rapture
Gathering Adam little sisters Spindly movements And a mass attack
Face to face simply terrified And it's finger chopping Twenty-four hour dying in Rapture
Tenenbaum told me everybody's high Atlas spinnin' not savin' my mind Adam is fast, Adam is cool Fontain say don’t be a fool And you don't stop, Suchong Ryan is makin’ you do wrong
And you get in your sphere and you trip real far And you dive all night and you’ll see no light And it fills with water and sinks to the ground And out comes a man from above And you try to run but he's got a gun And he shoots your head and freezes you dead And then you're in the main foyer Dancing with an ex-lawyer You kill many slicers to make the place nicer And you don't stop, you keep on killing stars And you just get more scars You go out at night and into the deserted streets Race to face, fight cheek to cheek One to many and man on man Fighting toe to toe Don't move too slow, 'cause the Big Dad Is through with slicers and he’s very mad wall to wall, Through door and door, up hall to hall He's gonna get 'em all Rapture, be pure Take a tour, through the sewer You’ll strain your brain, go insane You'll be singin' la la in the rain I said don't stop, drop a block
Well now you see what you wanna be Make your choice on the VT 'Cause the man upstairs he won’t care And now he's gone back down to hell None of this bodes too well And you flip flop, but you don't stop Just blast em with a sure shot 'Cause the man over there is killing and screaming And now he smokes cigars, level up!