WIN! Aliens Vs Predator Hunter Edition On PC

WIN! Aliens Vs Predator Hunter Edition On PC

How would you like your very own facehugger? Well, you can if you enter our Aliens Vs Predator giveaway starting today.

UPDATE: Monday’s draw is now closed. Look for Monday’s winner and a chance to win the PS3 version on Tuesday morning.

Thanks to Sega we have SIX copies of Aliens Vs Predator, the new first-person shooter from Rebellion launching this Thursday, to give away. From now until the weekend we’ll be giving away one copy per day across PC, PS3 and Xbox 360.

They’re not just any old copies though, they’re the Hunter Edition. That’s the very limited edition that includes: * The game * Steelbook case * Four bonus multiplayer maps * A replica mouldable facehugger * A Weyland sleeve badge * A 3D lenticular card

That’s right, I said replica mouldable facehugger.

To enter today’s draw for the PC edition you’re going to have to complete this joke: “So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…”

You’ve got until midnight tonight to leave your joke in the comments below. No multiple entries are allowed. However, you may of course enter tomorrow’s draw.

Good luck!

[Terms and Conditions]

Comments

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar all looking battered and bruised. They sit on the stools and order a drink each. Curious, the bartender ask ‘what the hell happened to you lot?’. The predator says, ‘Well i hate this skinny shit right here’. The Alien says ‘Well i hate this ugly dude right here too!’. The Marine then says, ‘I’m just caught in a love triangle’.

  • An alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…

    the Marine walks up to the bar with an alien emerging from his chest, the bartender asks “what’s gotten into you?”.

    The Alien walks up to the bar covered in slime, the bartender asks “why the long face?”.

    The predator walks up to the bar complaining that he had to give up all of his trophies at the door, the bartender laughs “you’re spineless!”.

    Got to love the cheese.

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar. Predator pauses and lets out a sigh. ‘What’s wrong, pred?’ asks Alien. Predator looks around, observing his surroundings rather joylessly. ‘Our movie ideas just keep getting worse.’

  • Oh gosh, Ive just jizzed in my pants.

    So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar and the bar tender asks the alien, “Why the long face?”

    The alien tears the bartender apart.

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar… and the bartender says “Alien, why the long head?”

  • “So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…The predators growls, the alien’s jaws snap and the marines nose runs.

  • An Alien, a Predator and a Marine walk into a bar and they all order a drink. The marine starts chatting to the barman who happens to be the terminator and asks about the awards lining the top self above the bar. The Terminator tells him that its the awards he got for his great film sequel and success of the other films. The predator gets jealous and leaves in a rush. The marine who’s franchise did pretty well with four films continues chatting and has a really good night until the alien got too drunk then killed and maimed everybody. Overall PREDATOR 2 Sucked!

    My problem with jokes is I don’t know how and when to end them.

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar and the bartender says “Drink?”

    ‘Nothing for me” says the marine “I’m pregnant”

  • So an alien, marine and predator all walk into a bar and settle down.

    Suddenly the marine starts writhing and gagging with something bulging from his chest.

    “What’s gotten into you?” notes the bartender.

    • An Alien, The Predator, Some Space Marines, An Unwitting Science Expedition, An 1980’s police force, A crew of jungle commandos and Sigourney Weaver walk into a bar. The Bartender says, “Is this a joke?”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar, the bartender offers the marine a drink, a friendly patron says that the drink was mean’t for the Alien, but continues to drink it. The drink ends up burning straight through the marine, the Predator turns to the bartender, “I may dislike humans but that drink was designed for my Xenomorph friend!”, the alien turns to the Predator and looks to the bar, then to a Pepsi machine on the other side of the bar, points and the bartender then throws him a Pepsi, the alien runs off. The Predator sits alone at the bar, “I think he’s just gone back to revist that Alien pepsi commercial”.

    Mass Effect 2 moment FTW!

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…

    … you’d think the other 2 would have stopped after the first walked into it…

    Ba-Boom-Tish…

    Don’t care for the platform, so why not use the piss-poor dodgy line! :p

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar. The predator enters first and slips on a pile of s**t. The alien enters second, and the marine third. They both slip over as well. The predator starts laughing and says “Oh man, i just did that”. The Alien and the marine look at each other and then kill the Predator.

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar. They all realise they don’t have enough money. So the predator says “I’ve got this”, puts on his camoflage and tries to sneak some drinks from behind the bar. The bartender stops him and says “I got infrared vision, get outta here”. The alien says “I got this” and uses his second mouth to try to reach over the bar and sneak some drinks from the top shelf. The bartender pulls out a crowbar, beats him back and says “get outta here”. Outside the marine says “hey why don’t we just split it”. The predator and alien think this is a great idea and tear him apart.

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar, predator find himself a corner, the alien a ceiling and the marine a face hugger he just met at the bar.

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…

    “Fantastic,” says the Fox Executive, “Give the green light for AVP3.”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar. The barman sees them and says “You two are fine but your friend has to leave”. The marine standing up for his buddies asks the barman “You’ve got a problem with one of my friends?” To which the barman replies “No your friends are fine it’s you marines that are bad for business. Get a couple of drinks into you and you’ll just spend the rest of the night huddled in the corner screaming and firing wildly everytime that motion sensor of yours beeps”.

  • So, an Alien, a Predator and a Marine walk into a bar at midday, which is a surprise to the patrons of the bar because as far as they know aliens mostly come out at night… mostly.

  • Okay, time for the worst joke ever:

    So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…

    The predator spots Chris Hansen at the bar and makes himself invisible. The marine says “I need to get something off my chest” just as an alien bursts out of him. The bartender, gesturing towards the marine, asks the alien, “what’s gotten into him?” and the Alien says “I dunno, but he’s driving me up the wall!”

  • “So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar. The marines says to the barman “give us a beer each”. The barman pours two beers and and then asks for his money.

    “Hang on” says the Marine “I asked for a beer each” He then looks to the Predator and realizes “Oh sorry mate, you probably didn’t realize that there is a Predator cause he’s invisible”

    The barman replies “I know the predator’s there” he then points to the alien “we just aren’t allowed to serve people if they are under the age of 18 years. As far as I know guy might only be a few hours old”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…

    The marine snaps at the Alien “Aren’t you supposed to be coming in through a vent or something?” to which the Alien retorts “Aren’t you supposed to be sitting in a corner crying after loading all your clips into an empty vent?”

    The predator startles the Marine as he uncloaks next to him and chuckles “Aren’t both of you supposed to be paranoid about me being cloaked everywhere you go?”

    The bartender puts three glasses on the bar and sighs “Not you guys again…” then points to a sign behind the bar that reads:

    No entering vents under any circumstances
    No entry behind the bar, cloaked or not
    No crying and shooting at the same time

    The predator and marine sigh, as the Alien jumps the bar and tears the bartender to shreds.

    The Marine looks angrily at the Alien, “That is the sixth bar tonight Alien, can’t you just go one night without getting drunk and climbing into a vent?” to which the Alien responds “You want to end up like my last sponsor?”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar, and the barman offers each one magical shot.
    The alien takes his shot and says “I wish all the aliens could leave earth, have their own planet, and be happy” With that, he disappears.

    The predator takes his shot and says “I wish all predators could have thier own world, and be happy” With that, he disappears.

    The marine stops and asks “So you mean to tell me the alien and the predator are gone? Then i guess ill have a jagerbomb”

    • but the alien and the predator both have there own planet

      and them being happy is predators hunting/ aliens breeding and invading the rest of the universe

  • ….but just before they do an Irishmen walks by the bar and doesn’t enter. The Marine turns to the other two and says “Shit, I guess theres a first time for everything.”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar. The marine asks the bartender for 11 shots of tequila. The bartender, perplexed by this order, asks “So what seems to ne the big occasion here?” The marine replies “I’m here to celebrate my first venture into galactic oral sex with these two fine xenomorphs you see behind me.” The bartender amazed at the marines intergalactic prowess says “Why don’t I give one shot on the house and make it a even dozen.” The marine replies “Thanks but no thanks. If 11 shots of tequila can’t take this shit taste out of my mouth nothing will.”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar… and proceed to get absolutely hammered,
    The marine and the alien go missing. So the predator goes looking for them. He finds them behind the bar in an alley with the alien sticking a face hugger up the marines arse.
    So the predator asks “whoah whats going on here?” and the alien turns to him and says “well, the marine drank too much so im trying to make him throw up so he’s sober enough to drive me home”
    The predator alittle confused goes “i think you’re going about it the wrong way, isn’t that ment to go down his throat?” And the alien replies “Yep, thats where its going next”

  • an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar, clearly Rebellion are yet to fix the A.I’s pathfinding.

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…The marine’s radar sensor starts beeping as it picks up the anomalies.
    The Marine squeels “WE”RE ALL GANNNA DIE MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN !!”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability….

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…

    In the corner is the most lovely lady any of them have ever seen. The Predator walks up and talks to her and gets slapped in the face! The alien then take his chance to talk to her and also gets slapped. Finally the marine walks up and asks “Excuse me, why did you slap my 2 friends?” to which she replies “The first one I could see right through and the second was too mouthy”.

    GAME OVER MAN!

  • An Alien, a Predator and a Marine walk into a bar…
    Its a good thing the alien walked into it first, because his acidic blood burned through the thing after his head was cut allowing the Marine and the Predator to walk through the space formerly occupied by a solid steel bar unharmed.
    Anwyay…
    They eventually came across a *real* bar (One that has a bartender and serves alcohol)
    And they begin to order drinks…
    Asn the night progresses, the trio end up playing a Banjo Vs Guitar bout (a’la Deliverance) with the Alien providing vocal support. The next night, a patron of the Alien, Predator and Marine’s big musical debu is telling his mate about it:
    “You shoulda seen it, Paul. There was this spacey-lookin’ Marine feller going AT that guitar… And that Predator was wailing out tune after tune on the banjo! And that Alien screeching was pretty out-of-this-world!”
    Paul quetly listens to every word his barmate has to say. He then turns to the bartender and says
    “I’ll have what he was drinking last night, thanks!”

  • Bar jokes? Really?

    Wow… why didn’t you just ask everyone to send in pictures of their shoes and give the prize out based on the best shoe, because that would have been a lot more interesting than this bland contest.

    Why didn’t you ask people to make their own facehuggers out of household items or something?

    Bar jokes are funny to drunk people and people who like to get so drunk they find bar jokes funny. I thought the Disgaea competition was stupid, but this one takes the cake.

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar i vegas, the barman asks “here on vacation?”
    The Alien says “Sure am, here for the family!”. The barman looks at the marine who is downing his drink who says grouchily “I’m soon to be family…”

    The barman ecstatically replies “Congratulations! but whats wrong? having second thoughts?”

    “I never really had a choice.” Puzzled, the barman looks to the predator “how about you sir?”

    The predator replies with a smirk whilst looking over at his two companions, “I did hear caesar was back, but it seems my escape has just turned into a hunting trip…”

  • An alien a predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar. The colonial marine says to the alien and the predator, “Can you believe that guy bragging about doing the Kessel run in twelve parsecs??”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…

    Oh, yeah, it was like lightning, everybody was frightening, and the music was soothing, and they all started grooving…

    Yeah, yeah, yeah! And the man at the back said “Everyone attack!” and it turned into a bar-room blitz!

    BAAR ROOOOM BLITZ~!

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar and each asks for a drink. The bartender nods and pours for the new customers.

    The human grabs the beer with glee and guzzles it all down. The alien sticks his proboscis like second mouth straight into the cup and has it finished in seconds. The Predator merely stares at his cup.

    “What’s up mate?” says the bartender to the Predator. He removes his helmet, revealing a face only a mother could love and liplessly replies “Straw please”.

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar. They each take a seat as the waitress walks up to the marine and tapps him on the sholder and points to a sign reading “No Pets Allowed”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar … The bar is called “The Blue Oyster”. The marine removes his body armour, fatigues and boots to reveal fishnet stockings, stilletos, and underwear purchased directly from the rocky horror picture show fansite.

    It’s Karaoke night at the Blue Oyster and the marine immediately goes for the microphone. Pumping out all the greatest hits from Priscilla in a somewhat eerie, pitch perfect voice.

    The bartender says to the alien and predator, “We get Jake Gyllenhaal in here all the time. Are you guys auditioning for his new movie? Heard he wants to turn aliens in to some kind of Brokeback Mountain exploration of modern combat stresses on marines.”

    The alien says, “Well, fuck that, I am going to be the horse.”

  • “So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar… They all walk up-to the Bartender and the Marine says ” A Beer Please “, ” Anything for your.. friends ? ” he responds.. “A Beer here too please” says The Predator, The Bartender looks at the alien and he responds ” arrrgggghh “. With confusement on the Bartenders face he leaves, the Alien let’s out a sigh and Bartender returns with Two Beers, “That’ll be $10 Thanks” both the Marine and Predator open their wallets to find no cash..and turn to look at the Alien who opens his mouth “ARRRRGGGHHHHH”.”

  • An alien, a predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar and the marine is the only one who gets served.

    Naturally this annoys the two aliens a bit and, wanting to keep the peace as he knows what heppens when his colleagues get upset, the marine walks back up to the bar to see what the problem is.

    The bartender tells him that it’s against the law to sell the alien any more booze as he’s drooling all over everything already. The marine tries to argue that that is just him naturally but the barman doesnt buy it, so the marine then questions why he wont serve the predator, the barman gives him a look and says “I have a young kid and I dont want to be the one to let a predator lose!”

    Hurrr hurrr hurr

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar. The alien and the predator are at each others throats the bartender says wth is up with these two, I’m there Divorce Lawyer good ol’ Pred heres pissed the Ally keeps making babies with everyone she meets.

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar. The barman takes a hard look at them and says, “sorry guys, I can only serve you if you’re R18+”

    • Haha should be

      So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar the bartender says

      “This joke has been Censored by the Australian Govt and can no longer be delivered ”
      Stephen Conroy

  • So an alien, a predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar. The barman glances at the alien, then glares at the marine, crossing his arms and saying, “Didn’t you read the sign outside? We don’t serve Mexicans here.” He glances to the predator and points promptly to the exit. “And we definitely don’t serve drinks to kiddy-fiddlers.”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar… I can’t think of anything funny, so i really wouldn’t mind a copy of the Alien vs Predator game out this week finding it’s way into my hot little hands.

    (I suck at making funnies.. no way of me winning this one :D)

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…

    The marine looks at the bartender and asks “who do we have to kill to get a drink around here?”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar… and the bartender says to his insurance agent, “Game over man, game over!”

  • So, a blonde alien priest, a brunette predator nun and a redheaded colonial marine rabbi walk into a bar.

    “Ah, screw this.” said the bartender, and prompty took his own life.

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…

    as the 3 patrons get through the door, the bar goes silent everyone is staring at the 3 that entered you could hear a pin drop. suddenly the bartender yells “I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO NEVER COME BACK HERE JOHN”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into the Florida bar. They are a little apprehensive at first because they are worried about getting banned like they did in Australia, but then the relax when they realise that Jack Thompson no longer works there…

  • “So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…”

    Predator says “Click,click,click,click”
    Alien says “AAArrrsraaaaa” (sounds like a peacock crossed with an elephant)
    Bartender stares at both of them and says “So what will it be”
    Marine says “I’ll have a beer,predator will have a midori and lemonade”
    Bartender looks over at the alien then looks back to the marine and says “What about him”
    Marine says “Dont worry about alien, he’s waiting for the host”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar the alien said what up there to the marine the marine replied to the predator he thinks he such a show off sitting on the roof drinking up side down the predator replies don’t worry about him that’s what nonstick stainless Ceilings is for
    Marine says Whys that the predator replies he’s only going to stick for a few mins
    He gets Drunk Easy Drinking Up Side Down and have you ever seen an alien drunk
    Before it’s like lensey lowan on crack he will be down any min now ???

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar. A metal one.

    “Damn it! How could I see it when I have no eyes!” said the Alien

    “Ouch! How could I see it when it doesn’t emit heat!” said the Predator

    The Colonial marine then starts laughing and quips, “I knew you two idiots wouldn’t take this joke too literally”

  • “So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…”

    “we don’t serve your kind here!”, barks the bartender.

    …so the marine walks out.

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…
    The marine says, “I once drank TEN pints of beer in an hour and could still hit an alien a mile off with my M41A.”
    In clicks and snarls, the predator says, “That’s nothing, I once drank TWENTY pints of human blood and I could still hit an APC from TWO miles off with my plasma caster.”
    The alien xenomorph bared its metallic teeth and retractable tongue. “You’ve got to be kidding. I’ve got acid for frickin’ blood, mate! I once drank THIRTY litres of coca cola and I still have all my chest-burster teeth!”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…because they were all depressed from playing Rogue Warrior.

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar… each wrapped in a white box plainly stating “Predator”, “Colonial Marine” and “Alien”.
    The bartender asks, whats with the boxes, why can’t I see you.
    To which the 3 reply: “Michael Atkinson”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar. Several hours later upon regaining consciousness they start arguing over who gets to destroy the bar and inevitably kill each other.

  • “So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar. The Predator says: “Boy, it’s pretty hot in here, eh?” and the marine replies: “Holy $*^#! Killer Aliens!”

    To which the alien replies by eating the others.

  • So, an Alien, the Predator and a Colonial Marine walk into a bar. The Marine grabs the menu and taps the Predator on the back

    “Hey, they’ve got a drink named after you!”

    The Predator replies “What, the Predator?”

    The Marine paused “I wasn’t expecting that answer.”

    “Neither were quite a few smart-ass readers” The Alien finished.

  • So an alien, a predator, and a colonial marine walk into a bar. It’s a human bar, so everyone gets a bit on edge about the predator and alien. They all sit down at the same table. A few people start to nervously leave, so the barman walks up to the marine and asks him about it, but the marine insists that his companions are fine and won’t cause any trouble, so the barman lets them stay.
    So after an hour or so, the bar is pretty much empty aside from this table. So the barman walks up to the marine again, kind of worried this time. He asks the marine to leave, saying it’s bad for business. The predator stands up and objects to this, while the alien hisses, but the marine calms them down and sympathises with the barman, getting them to leave. Soon enough, the bar is filled with patrons again.

    Come the next night, the same thing happens. The unlikely trio enters the bar, and people start leaving. The barman asks them to leave again, and they comply.
    This goes on again for a few days, and the barman makes the unfortunate decision that they need to be barred to save his business. He tells them this, and the marine sadly, but calmly accepts. Before they leave, the barman asks why they come to the bar when they don’t drink anything.
    To this, the marine replies:
    “Our third game was a total bomb, so now we’re stuck hanging around in lame bar jokes.”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar.

    Not even on its first drink, the Alien falls from the ceiling and holds his Focus before it can Press E to Grab its drink.

    The Predator can’t target the drink because he lost its Plasmacaster somewhere in the bar. His vision is blotto because it’s in the wrong mode.

    And after all that, no matter how many drinks the marine has, he still can’t beat the Alien or the Predator.

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar and the bartender says “Sorry guys, can’t serve you here”.
    When asked why, he says “Well you almost got banned for the violence, so they’re not allowing you any alcohol at all. Or boobs.”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar. the priest the rabi the irishman and the blonde all get up to leave slowly revealing Michael Atkinson at the end of the bar absolutely pissing his pants.

    kids this is what happens when you get into politics and f*&# with people’s entertainment. karma.

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar. The alien sits to the far west of the bar, the predator in the middle and the colonial marine at the far east. The bartender comes to the colonial marine and asks, “What can I get ya?” The colonial marine says “a cocktail for the lovely lady with the pure black skin”. As the alien and marine exchange glances the predator walks to the marine and asks, “Are you flirting with that alien?” The marine is stunned that he has been found out and replies, “Is she with you?” The predator walks off without a sound, over to the alien. Without a seconds notice the aliens head is torn off and in the hands of the predator. The marine starts firing and the predator defends himself against the futile attack. With the marine taken care of the predator walks out of the bar with the remark, “I always go home with the trophy lady of the night from this bar, and don’t you forget it!”

  • So, an Alien, a Predator and a Colonial Marine walk into a bar…They walk up to the bartender, the Colonial Marine shouts ‘one beer please!’. The alien shouts ‘acid juice please!’. The predator comes up and says ‘I’ll just take Arnold Schwarzenegger to go.’

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…

    The joke contains first-person perspective, close-up depictions of human characters being subjected to various types of violence, including explicit decapitation and dismemberment as well as locational damage such as stabbing through the chest, mouth, throat, or eyes.
    The joke exceeds the requirements for a MA15+ rating.
    No censored or cut version of the joke is planned.

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar and the bartender says
    “Which one of you is stronger?”

    The Marine says “I am. I have advanced ranged weaponry.”

    The predator says “I am. I am a stealthy killer with unmatched melee strength.

    The Alien says ” *E* *E* *E* *E* *E* *E* *E* *E*”

  • An Alien, a Predator and a Colonial Marine walk into a bar.

    Predator: Boy, we’ve got a hot date for you tonight, marine.

    Alien: Yeah, there’s just one thing you should know.

    Marine: What’s that?
    *the predator and alien motion to a bar stool where a facehugger sits*

    Alien, Predator: No Tongue kissing.

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar. After serving a few drinks, a nervous bartender says to the marine “Can you ask your alien friend at the end of the bar to stop staring at me?” The marine talks to the alien and then tells the bartender, “I have good news and bad news. The good news is that the alien has no eyes so he’s not staring at you.. The bad news is that for that past hour, he’s been sensing a predator standing right behind you.”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…

    A couple of hours and a few too many tequilas later the already rather wobbly marine mumbles to the predator, “It’s your round mate”.
    Just as the predator gets up to fetch more drinks, the alien, even woozier than the marine, pukes up acid all over the table!
    As the acid burns through the table and everything below it, the marine in his drunken stupor doesn’t think to get out of the way. He collapses comically after his lower extremities and the chair he was sitting on dissolve.
    Staring up at the predator, his vision swimming and blurry, he slurs, “don’t chu try dat invishibility trick ta get out of paying for drinksh!”
    Glaring down at what remains of the inebriated marine, the predator growls in reply, “I’m not trying to turn invisible. You’re just legless!”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar, one of them gets a little bit violent and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

  • So, an alien, a predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…
    The marine asks the bartender, “Do you serve humans here?”
    “Yes, we do!” replies the bartender.
    “Good,” interjects the predator. “Give me a beer, and I’ll have another human for my alien.”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar. The alien goes, “who are those guys?” and points to the zerg, the protoss and the terran already sitting at the bar.

  • So, an Alien, the Predator and a Colonial Marine walk into a bar…….the bartender asks “what do you want”. The Colonial Marine reply’s “I want your bar you land and this whole country”. The Bartender looking a bit shocked at these allegations reply’s. “Well what are you going to do about it”and takes one look at the Predator and the Alien and say’s with his knees wobbling “Alright Alright, Ill give you whatever you want…just leave me alone” the Colonial Marine reply’s “Nahhh Just three pints for my buddies thanks”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar… dressed as nuns.

    A gelatinous cube then entered, dressed as a pirate, followed by two space trolls wearing ghost outfits, then a gremlin in a fairy costume, followed by god dressed as a cowboy, and then three ninjas in period costume, finally Big Bird showed up wearing absolutely nothing but a feather boa.

    It was at that point I knew I’d had enough to drink, and promptly passed out.

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…

    The colonial marine and the alien just suddenly made out in front of the predator to its surprise…

    After a few weeks, they got married and colonial marine announced that hes pregnant… but the colonial marine died of cessarian birth. Despite the sad events, the babies were happily raised up into a happy and healthy monsters alongside the alien’s new partner, the predator…

    Then the bartender woke up ._.

    **Fixed XP sorry can a mod delete the other two? If possible…

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar and order a drink.

    While they are having their drinks, an inebriated and unattractive woman walks up to the marine and says, “Wanna have some fun honey?”(she also happens to be trailer trash)

    The marine replies, “I would rather kiss a woman with an alien coming out of her chest.”

    Upset the woman storms away and frumps up to the Predator, “Hey I like your dreadlocks, want to have some rastafarian fun?”

    Within a blink the woman is looking at an empty bar stool.

    Distraught the woman sits down at the bar and begins to cry, “All I wanna be is a princess.” Teary-eyed she grabs for an oddly shaped towel, only for the towel to grab her, wrapping itself round her head.

    Little did she realise beyond her wildest dreams, that she soon would be queen.

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…

    …cos they’d fallen out of a tree cos they were dead, stapled to a Koala and someone threw a fridge at them…

    ..

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…
    The Predator turns to the Alien and says “I don’t like the look of yours mate!”

  • So, an Alien, a Predator and a Colonial Marine walk into a bar, all three order drinks, and the bartender offers them some nuts, the predator and alien decline, but the marine just coughs. the bartender says “what about you mate?” the alien then says “nah, he just had eggs”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar, the Human asks the Preditor what he will have, he stays silent. He ask the alien what he will have, the alien responds…”you”.

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…as well as a krogan, a wookiee, a klingon, a vortigaunt, a Na’vi, a space pirate, a vogon, a protoss, a ballchinian and Mr. Saturn.

    The bartender spoke to the whole group “I’m sorry guys, I can’t serve you, this is just seriously non-canon”

  • So, an Alien, the Predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar….

    The bar tender steps back looking very confused as the alien opens it’s mouth, and a small head reaches the predators lips and they embrace in a long and passionate kiss.

    The bartender looks at the colonial marine and asks “Is this normal, I thought these guys hated each other?”

    The colonial marine replied looking sternly into the bartenders eyes, “bioware got the rights for the new game, and we are casting for Mass Effect 3. Apparently the lead developer doesn’t just support gay rights, but is also an animal activist!”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar.

    All have much to drink, but gets to a point where the alien and predator are so drunk that they are arguing over nothing, which escalates to a bar-fight between the two.

    The marine tries to break them up but is pulled aside by the bartender who suggests,
    “Mate, you best stay out of this one.”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar. they look around and see a lot of english, irish and scottish men sitting at the bar. the predator aproaches the bar and motions to the barman.
    “excuse me.” he says. “we were sent here for a joke.”
    the barman shakes his head. “no, no, no. this is the pub for the englishmen, irishment, scotsman jokes. what you need to do is go left once you’re out the door. past the bar of three racial stereotypes and then make a right at the bar for three men of various religious faiths and just make sure you watch out for the signpost where you’ll invariably find about 2 or 3 men that weren’t watching where they were going.”

    the alien, predator and colonial marine look at each other and say. “I’ll just have a beer thanks.”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…

    They walk in together, they all accident bump shoulders.

    Suddenly they start to intensely stare at each other.Sweat start to fall down their faces. The marine starts to clench his fist and slowly move it toward his rifle.The predator also clenches his fist and rises it to his shoulder, getting ready to strike. The alien slowly walks back and also rises and clenches its fist.

    SLAM!SLAM!SLAM! they all simultaneously move their fist up and down three times. “ROCK PAPER SCISSORS!” they all screamed. The Predator and alien put down Scissors, while the marine put down paper. “Damn that’s the third time its alien vs predator” says the marine.

  • “So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar, after a few drinks the Alien and Predator start flirting and playing hide and seek, leaving the Marine feeling quite alone and more than a bit put out, so he goes to the jukebox and puts on his favourite song as loud as he can.
    He spots Sigourney Weaver at the end of the bar and approaches her, saying “Would you like to dance?” and she replies “I really don’t like this song. And even if I did I wouldn’t dance with you.” To which the guy replies “I don’t think you heard me correctly. I said you look fat in those pants.”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar. They each get outrageously drunk.

    The marine wakes up the next day with a bulls-eye spray painted to the back of his armour.
    The alien wakes up with reflectors glued to his body.
    The predator wakes up pregnant.

    And thus the Pred-Alien is born.

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar and the marine says angrily “Hey you guys got your names in the titles, its your turn to pay for the “f**king drinks!”

  • So, and Alien, a Predator and a Marine walk into a bar. They are all celebrating whatever reason the three would have to celebrate. After a few too many drinks, they decide to go and get themselves some whores but find the brothel has only got one left. Because she doesn’t do group jobs, she will decide who takes her for the night by a kissing competition in one of the back rooms.
    So the Alien goes first, a couple of minutes go by and then its the Predator’s turn. Some time goes by and then the Marine’s turn is up. They are all high-fiveing each other and all, its a great night!
    Suddenly this huge bouncer comes out, dragging the Marine by the scruff of the neck. The Marine is yelling drunken abuse left right and centre. The Alien gets all stupid and behaves like the biggest idiot. Meanwhile the Predator who’s had too much of the blue juice, just runs out head first into the night cloaking up to escape the bouncer.

    After they are all gone and dusted, the bouncer turns to the working girl and asks her why she didn’t take any of them up.
    She shivers and tells the bouncer:
    “Well, the Predator might have been big, muscley and tough but is quite the pussy when it comes to the deed. The Marine was just an asshole who had a secret crush on the Alien and the Alien himself might have been slim and fast but being the dick that he was just wanted to screw the other two instead.”

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…

    The Marine says to the Bartender “Give me 3 double scotches, its been a rough day”, The bartender replies “what is it this time? Arnie? Weaver?”.

    The Predator then explains “ARG#%(#&!$@@$” in which the alien then adds “RSD@$@$GDSD$”. “Yeh Sega have got some noobs testing the betas recently; we haven’t got a kill all day” sighs the marine.

    After taking a shot the marine goes into a hysterical fit and a chest burster rips out of him. “FIRST BLOOD” cries the over head PM.

    The marine then respawns into a different bar “Man they need to fix those bugs”

  • Q: So an alien, predator, and a colonial marine walk into a bar. How many eggs are in the basket?

    A: None, the yoghurt has already gone to Vegas!

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar… Sitting at a table they start telling stories on the events of the day.
    “It was crazy!” said the Predator, “There I was, lining up a kill on these two lazy Marines out in the open, when suddenly one drops to the ground dead, completely ruining my shot! I need a drink…”
    “What? That was us!” said the Marine, “There we were, minding our own business when all of a sudden he drops to the ground dead! I had to go tell his family, it was horrible! I need a drink…”
    “It was crazy!” said the Alien, “There I was, inside this Marine, minding my own business…”

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