Bioshock 2 is in stores. Rapture is upon us. All this week we have games and prize packs to giveaway. PS3 owners get the final chance to win themselves a sexy sauce prize pack of artbook, figurine, hoodie, keyring, and the game. Get creative with your Utopian vision to win!
Bioshock 2 places you back in the undersea dystopia of Rapture, 10 years after the events of the original game. Only this time you’re a Big Daddy. Actually, you’re THE Big Daddy. The first. But there’s a new regime in the house, and even tougher forces at play under the sea. Get ready to grab all the Adam you can.
Thanks to 2K Games we have five prize packs to give away, one each day this week. Each Bioshock 2 prize pack contains a copy of the game, a Bioshock 2 hoodie, a big Bioshock 2 artbook, a Little Sister figurine, a Bioshock 2 pen, a Bioshock 2 keyring, a plasmid badge, and a vinyl copy of the soundtrack. Total value runs to $274.65 per pack.
All you have to do is tell us in the comments what your version of Utopia would look like. Choose a creative way to describe your vision – haiku, limerick, sonnet… whatever you like. Make it the most entertaining and you’ll have a shot at the prize. Note: I’m a stickler for meter when it comes to poems, so it’s hard to win if you miss the correct limerick beat, or get your haiku syllables wrong. Anyone game to have a crack at iambic pentameter?
You must also include a valid email address or use Facebook Connect so we can contact you if you win. Entries close midnight EDT and the winner will be announced Monday.
Thursday’s Xbox 360 prize pack draw was another cracker. Massively impressive efforts. The winner is Robert, for a nice creative tie-in, with a good Aussie vision of our carnivorous future.
Good luck!
Gather round young children
And I’ll tell you a tale
Of fan boys and fan girls
Of epic win and of fail
You see there was a great leader
Who was to unite the clans
He sent forth his messengers
And he sought out the fans
There where Trekkies and Otakus
Twilights, Lolitas and Gamers
Storm Troopers, Steam Punkers
And even some Pokemon trainers
From the corners of the globe
The fans came to the con
But as to how the live peacefully
That could not be agreed upon
Twi-fans thought themselves vampires
But where really just pale
And if you are too much into Lolitas
You might end up in Jail
The Troopers and Punkers
Got into a fight
Scifi or alt-history
Which one was right
The trainers tried to catch
All of the Trekkies in balls
And those anime fans
Went to buy DVDs from the mall
At the end of the day
The fan utopia was through
All had died in their fandom
(Except the gamers playing Bioshock 2)
Pobjtopia
Elephants. It’s all about elephants. You see they are massive. Any utopia needs massiveness. You ride to work on an Elephant, you get a park and people make way for you. You turn up at a club with an elephant and you’re in. There’s nothing that having an elephant won’t get you. Even the chicks love Elephants!
However, for this to work, you would have to be the only one with an Elephant. So in Pobjtopia there would be a police force made of Navy Seals. And they would enforce the Phant Law which will state clearly that Elephants are only to be owned by me. They would rule from the sky in Black Hawks. Or maybe on them.
Now the ideal place for this has to be Rhodes, Sydney. Basically you knock down everything there at present, build a massive Circus tent, and then turn it in to a convertible so you can cover it when it rains, and then you build massive houses with 7 bedrooms and 6 bathrooms but only give people enough furniture for 3 bedrooms. That way they know their place. Everyone works their normal job so they are not around during the day to bother you and at night they go shopping for you for 1 hour to give you gifts. Then they can have their own time to spend how they wish. It tastes great.
So, people can do what they like, except own Elephants, and anything else that I don’t particularly approve of.
The only possible downside of this Pobjtopia is that people may not turn up on day one, and of those who do, I imagine they would be nothing short of nuts. So, I imagine within 35 minutes things would start to look ugly. But for 34 minutes, I was master of my domain, Rhodes and an awesome elephant!
(By the way, I really own an elephant and I REALLY want Bioshock 2. Other than that I have no evil plans for the suburb of Rhodes. They are safe, for now)
I wanted to build a city based on trust but I was
Dumb tothink the first years everything was okthen
Redemption Kicked in the deserted wanted to clam
Everything back sand covered my city my utopia
A man once said to me to build suck beauty comes
Much cost I did not think this was true
Of course It Was People Started getting sick
Fight each other stealing and looting
The city went to hell cover by sand light is
Hard to come by down here and its so hot
Everything is going to hell hacked bots are
Rebelling and killing off everybody
Eve and ammo what u need to survive
Down here and being able to hack does too
Everything is not asit seems for there is a hidden
Master Code between these walls that will hold
Power that can crush
The world or change mankind for the better
I Made Science My Friend in the End it turned onme
Outof anger I have grown to call this place home i
Named it Redemption
i know i entered it lastnight but i will give another shot because its tight haha
This is My Last Try
BEER EVRRYWHERE!!
Beer on the WALLS on the FLOOR on the CARPET. In fact that’s not seawater outside that window.. IT’S BEER! HA!
moar bier.
🙁
A place was made where
Science was to become the
Way to improve man
Brains made immortal
People Rejoice at the thought
Cyborgs we became
Many lost their minds
While others feel soulless so
Kill ourselves we must
My utopia is Xanadu (i.e. the 1980s film), with roller skating and lycra aplenty. Disco would reign supreme in a society built inside a gigantic roller-cade amphitheater, where the only travel ordained is by blessed roller-skate (walking is outlawed).
All would worship effigies of Olivia Newton John, and endorsements for handheld gaming consoles for use by senior citizens would play in public gathering places 24/7.
This perfect civilization would prosper until the invasion of Delta Goodrem (the ‘Promotions-Harlot’) and her invading PR-forces. Delta’s quest is to consume all endorsement deals throughout the galaxy, and be the promotional face for all products in existence. She would assimilate Olivier Newton John’s divine image and transend through the endorsement deal for hand-held gaming console. From then forth she would pedal silly image and vocal filters for all gaming systems.
Experience our Utopian vision
It begins with an incision
And so began his address
He did not wane or digress
He promised all provision
We lined up by the hundred
All hopes and dreams wondered
With chips in our hands
Our freedoms expand
A million souls plundered
We now live in a police state
While those above us dictate
Free will is an illusion
We have reached our conclusion
Slavery is our fate
Bah, minor revision.
Experience our Utopian vision
It begins with an incision
And so began his address
He did not wane or digress
He promised all provision
We lined up by the hundred
All hopes and dreams wondered
With chips in our hands
Our freedom expands
A million souls plundered
We now live in a police state
While those above us dictate
Free will is an illusion
We have reached our conclusion
Slavery is our fate
Not quite sure how that happened.
A World Without Michael Atkinson
A world without Michael Atkinson,
oh what a world that would be!
We’d all have freedom of choice!
R18+ games for you and for me.
A world without Michael Atkinson,
would be perfect by any means.
We must eliminate this threat now,
or be treated collectively as teens.
A world without Michael Atkinson,
a place where gamers can rejoice!
We’d have blood, sex, guts & gore!
Gamers would unite, under one voice.
A world without Michael Atkinson,
kids will thank us when they grow up.
We all need to work together and say
“Atkinson, just shut the f**k up.”
Utopia found
kotaku comments better
arguments removed
happiness arrives
not kicked to australian site
kotaku dot com
games that matter now
compelling stories are told
graphics can’t sustain
my bio will shock
haiku is not a past time
motivation found
creative contest
no longer is subjective
I win all the time
Before you read this epic sonnet you really need this photo as reference. And by reference i mean, print it out now and write the words over the photo so it comes alive. magic.
find it here: http://s3.amazonaws.com/giles/rspec_122908/dinosaurs_lasers.jpg
Also, my attempt at iambic pentameter didn’t go further than making each line 10 syllables.
enough talk! get your print outs ready…
Sonnet 1 – Terautopiandactyle.
Here I sit controls in hand getting pwnd
A portal appears in my floor to Jur’!
“The magic city of raptors”, Lex warned.
Let’s save the princess! I screamed like a purr.
After days of training, and a montage
I climbed Dino peak to view my new land
I find a raptor tooth sword and massage!
Relaxed I now finish my quest at hand
Slaying T-Rex baddies armed with lasers
I ride a brontosaurus to glory
with my scientists the “Bronte Blazers”
We build ‘Jur park’ to end the sweet story.
Now I’m back home on my couch with a beck’s
full of courage and my arm around Lex…
true story.
In my utopia, name Palstrandia, everyone works 3 day weeks. This is in cycles so only a portion of the populationis working at one time. This is also 24hrs a day, nothing needs to close. This will solve unemployment and means there is always something to do at any time of day.
We would found Palstrandia in the cook islands. This is because it is pretty far from everywhere, small enough that an elite armed unit could “Secure” it, and no other country should notice for a while. By the time they do and the UN decide to do anything it will be too late. Palstrandia will have begun and everyone there will be happy. So they won’t ask for “Help”.
I would have a giant dome built to cover us, built of solar pannels. This will protect us from global warming by having controlled temperatures inside. It will also power the ecofriendly homes inside. People can still come and go but if the other countries stuff up the world we will still be safe.
Finally once I had established all the Laws of Palstrandia I would have a ship built to carry my body in cryostasis into space to be awoken in times of great peril so that I can return to save the citizens on Palstrandia. Either that or be found by an alien race in a solar system with a blue sun that imbues me with supernatural powers and spend the rest of my life doing heroic deeds while hiding my true identity.
I dreamed last night with fevered head,
I lived on stage with Flaming Lips,
The sky was thick with glittered light,
It was the bestest ever night.
When I awoke, McQueen is dead,
I have to work, to pay the rent,
Tonight I’ll drink ten toasts to him
And sleep, perchance to dream again.
Myself, my love, two friends, a pub and beer
We sit, we talk, we laugh for all to hark
Our thongs, they stick with sweat and crinkles cut
With sun on glass our amber hearts do cheer
Our paradise is wrought asunder now
A call, for help, does Little Sister cry
My darling’s plasmid blast, watch splicer die
Now Eden, here, returns on this my round
There once was a place so fine
Everyone who was there felt divine
All consoles were equals
Only good games got sequels
And there were no fan bois to whine
Up in the mountains so high
Far away from those who classify
Every game age appropriate
Much better that opiate
How could this end and why
All who lived here felt rich
But alas there was a big hitch
A glacier fell down
And crushed this fine town
Gee global warmings a bitch!
Utopia mine
nought but a simple request
jar jar stricken. Gone
Cheers for yesterdays win, I think the original Bioshock is my favorite game ever so looking forward to playing the second one. Thanks and good luck all on the PS3 version.
To be honest, if I had the control,
Then I would do things the same, the world whole,
Be home with my wife,
the love of my life,
I would still commute and I’d pay the toll.
For all its challenges, still I would work,
leave the world as it is, with all its perks.
And all the bad too,
war, violence and coups.
I’d keep it all, including the jerks.
You must think I’m mad, a bit of a crock,
but listen, before you pelt me with rocks,
it is on this earth,
history gave birth,
to events that inspired Bioshock.
It was the shot heard around the world. Or possibly just the shops, no one could be quite sure. Acoustics, as it would turn out, could be quite deceptive at the best of times, and downright dangerous at the worst of times. As it so happened, the beginning of this tall tale took place at one of the worse times. To be precise, five o’clock in the evening on a Tuesday, just after everyone had left their offices, but not before they had managed to navigate the ever-dense jungle of traffic that took up the streets like a child takes up sugar.
Employees at the game store lay on the floor, hands behind their heads, fearing for their lives. Nerds had hit the bank hard, and conveniently for them, during the inter-staff twister tournament, when everyone was on the floor anyway. Ignoring the frivolity that only family board games can provide, the heist was your standard arms in the air affair, with plenty of shouting, touting of stats, and threats to put caps in…well to place caps.
Employee of the month June Whitmore (who, incidentally, had not won in the month of June, but in a cruel twist of fate, October) lay next to the Big Daddy display as the pimpled men went about their dirty deeds, and sobbed to herself. Not only had she crinkled her brand new top that cost half a month’s salary, she was being robbed on her birthday. And she was sure there was cake waiting for her at home. She continued to weep silently, and wondered if there was anyone out there who could stop the recent spate of Bioshock-related-tomfoolery that had plagued her fair city and save them all.
Unfortunately for her, there was. And at this very minute, they were being chased four streets away by a horde of senile seniors, brandishing canes and boiled sweets, and chanting about the good old days of Ataris and Commodores.
Saved, it seemed, was a relative term.
My Utopia is simple.
My Utopia is giving a free copy of Bioshock 2 to my husband.
My Utopia is my husband rewarding me with the cash he has saved since he no longer has to buy Bioshock 2.
My Utopia is my husband being able to play Bioshock 2 in peace.
My Utopia is being able to go shopping in peace.
My Utopia is simple.
Please give me My Utopia.
To the Tune of Blondie’s Rapture:
Toe to toe
fighting very close
Plasmids firing
until you’re comatose
Wall to wall
Daddy’s hypnotised
And they’re stepping heavily
Stuck each night in Rapture
Gathering Adam
little sisters
Spindly movements
And a mass attack
Face to face
simply terrified
And it’s finger chopping
Twenty-four hour dying in Rapture
Tenenbaum told me everybody’s high
Atlas spinnin’ not savin’ my mind
Adam is fast, Adam is cool
Fontain say don’t be a fool
And you don’t stop, Suchong
Ryan is makin’ you do wrong
And you get in your sphere and you trip real far
And you dive all night and you’ll see no light
And it fills with water and sinks to the ground
And out comes a man from above
And you try to run but he’s got a gun
And he shoots your head and freezes you dead
And then you’re in the main foyer
Dancing with an ex-lawyer
You kill many slicers
to make the place nicer
And you don’t stop, you keep on killing stars
And you just get more scars
You go out at night and into the deserted streets
Race to face, fight cheek to cheek
One to many and man on man
Fighting toe to toe
Don’t move too slow, ’cause the Big Dad
Is through with slicers and he’s very mad
wall to wall, Through door and door, up hall to hall
He’s gonna get ’em all
Rapture, be pure
Take a tour, through the sewer
You’ll strain your brain, go insane
You’ll be singin’ la la in the rain
I said don’t stop, drop a block
Well now you see what you wanna be
Make your choice on the VT
‘Cause the man upstairs he won’t care
And now he’s gone back down to hell
None of this bodes too well
And you flip flop, but you don’t stop
Just blast em with a sure shot
‘Cause the man over there is killing and screaming
And now he smokes cigars, level up!
Games created but weren’t for free
Bioshock landed with comp. I see,
Letters and text to fill this space
I deck this page with filling trace
Now the rest are left to plea.
I glace across the forbidden wall
I win by a blistering brawl,
Lazy as the cats I’ve become
Spoken by an Englishman
For now they beg in a zealous crawl.
Riots and floods by terminal pursuit
While blood sheds thus we pollute,
I’m left alone at home to play
Arm and legs let it rain
With a beer in my hand now I salute.
The rise and fall of the utopia family:
Big Daddy works hard
all day long, in heavy suit
drilling in rapture
Little Sister plays
little nurse, giant needles
collecting adam
Big Sister grows up
messed up girl, drug addiction
tripping on adam
Little Brother cries
lonely child, empty and sad
slaughtering kittens
Big Mama gives up
broken home, beyond salvage
weeping with sorrow
I haven’t played bioshock, but I guess Rapture broke down because all the big mamas left?
Island where all becomes clear.
Solid ground beneath your feet.
The only roads are those that offer access.
Bushes bend beneath the weight of proofs.
The Tree of Valid Supposition grows here
with branches disentangled since time immemorial.
The Tree of Understanding, dazzlingly straight and simple,
sprouts by the spring called Now I Get It.
The thicker the woods, the vaster the vista:
the Valley of Obviously.
If any doubts arise, the wind dispels them instantly.
Echoes stir unsummoned
and eagerly explain all the secrets of the worlds.
On the right a cave where Meaning lies.
On the left the Lake of Deep Conviction.
Truth breaks from the bottom and bobs to the surface.
Unshakable Confidence towers over the valley.
Its peak offers an excellent view of the Essence of Things.
For all its charms, the island is uninhabited,
and the faint footprints scattered on its beaches
turn without exception to the sea.
As if all you can do here is leave
and plunge, never to return, into the depths.
Into unfathomable life.
Tsk, tsk.
http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/literature/laureates/1996/poems-1-e.html
President P.Molyneux welcomes you to Pre-Alpha ville.
The climate in Pre-Alpha ville has not been the greatest of late. Our President has often
reneged on certain bills over the last few months. Bills that were parlimentary
promises which got him elected in the first place.
Needless to say these issues have caused chaos on the streets.
Many assasination attempts on the presidents life have been made,
yet speacial Spartan forces have foiled these attempts by moving the president to yet another castle,
causing further frustrations to terrorist group THE SONS OF LIBERTY.
Local Virtua Cops who were initially dispatched, continue to experience difficulty
supressing the growing violence with their standard issue Wii remote firearms.
Thanks to their unique ability of dodging conveniently placed crates or barrels,
Cerberus Networks have dispatched their finest generically named anti- heros.
A task force of heavily armed forces also known as ‘Big Daddy’s’ have also been deployed, yet
are being held up by the loading times of their elevators.
Stealthier class “Little Sister’s had also been rumoured to have been deployed, but it
has been found they opted to front for a Women’s right rally for “Equal Sonic Rings in the workplace”, instead.
It’s become so unsafe of a place, that even the Dural Mimes, talented ‘NPC’ actors able
to chanel poor A.I. attempting to escape the obstacle of a corner,as they continously get stuck.
They used to litter the streets with their humurous antics and repeated dialogue trees that I would throw
them a few Sonic Rings their way for their ability to chanel the great silverscreen NPC’s of yore.
Yes, Sonic Rings, that is the currency that is used in Pre-Alpha ville.
Where the monetary value is 1/1. Where being the victim of a robbing or attack has you spray out rings out of fear or injury.
But as a light sprinkle of acid binary code rain touches my face, curtesy of the Black Masa facility, I realise that all is not lost.
There is a new faction rising, aiming to restore life to the days of Beta Code.
Armed with BFG’s, Spartan Lasers, Red shells and Groove-A-Tron grenades, they plan on taking back this town…and with force.
The idea of a utopia such as Rapture, may have sunk with it’s inhabitants.
They were greedy for EVE as my quench for Demon’s Souls is.
But there are many here, who are willing to fight back.
“All your Base are Belong to us”, NO MORE !!
With my odd tasting Mountain Dew Game fuel beverage in one hand and my crowbar in the other.
Sure, I may be abit shy and not talk, but my followers seem to notice my actions and follow me on a whim.
And as our targets’ heads have been placed on a deck of playing cards, Aptly labelled “Eyes of Judgment”.
Our hungry eyes are ready to take down President Molyneux, VP Kotick and senator Atkinson and the rest.
All will meet my inverted slash and thrust of my crowbar as Ilead my people to Victoly!
“What is a man?” if we cannot fight back and reclaim what is ours?
Let’s strength be granted, so the world might be mended…………..so th world might be ended.
This is pre-Alpha ville, this is my utopia. Sure it’s not perfect, but then again, life never is.
And after the bugs have been ironed out, and a few focus groups later. I have no doubt,
Pre-Alpha ville will be Gold. And a fine place to be Live, and call Home.
DOH.
Correction: Let’s strength be granted, so the world might be mended…………..so th world might be mended.
Script Revision 4#
INTERNAL USE ONLY: DO NOT DISTRIBUTE
TITLE: So, wait? ALL the girls here look like moderately popular redheaded actresses?: A documentary for new citizens of Savawesome, a 21st Century Utopia.
SCRIPT START:
[INT. Day A man- possibly a mid level movie star whose glory days are distant and visible only through a curtain of court arraigned community service and drugs , think Christian Slater or Kurt Russell -sits on a couch. As the camera approaches, this mid level movie star turns around].
MID LEVEL STAR: Oh hey there! Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. I guess you’re here for the welcome lecture, since the hotline said the women would be black and easily angered, and I see you’re neither of those. Right? You’re not from the hotline are you? Of course you’re not!
As a new citizen of our glorious world, I’m rather jealous of you. I can see you there, eyes full of hope and wonder, still with months of intense brainwashing to undergo. You probably have so many questions: Who is in charge? Is this really a utopia? And if it is, why the hell aren’t you the girl from the Hotline?
Well, you’re in luck, because I have a lot of answers. Actually, that’s that not true, years of drug abuse have left me with very little cognitive reasoning ability. However, I do have a sheet containing words and the producers assure me that the contents, properly read to you by a soothing voice, will give you the answers.
So first things first: How did this glorious utopia start? To trace that we need to go back to a simpler time. A time where cocaine was an acceptable substitute for water, water was an acceptable substitute for food, and food was something to eaten be instead of thrown at detractors of the great Ruler Savannah.
CUT TO: A picture montage of Glorious Leader Savannah’s childhood.
[VOICEOVER] MID LEVEL STAR: Yes, to fully understand Savawesome, we need to go back, way back to the birth of our glorious Ruler Savannah was born.
On that morning, a glorious and blinding light would shine over the land, as if the immortal rulers of the skies themselves where acknowledging the presence of a new deity.
Although critics claimed that this light was in fact an everyday occurrence called a ‘Sunrise’, it was quickly dismissed by experts. But that’s a dirty lie! Although don’t take my word for it! Let’s just ask weatherman- and close personal friend to Jim- Al Roker.
[CUT TO: A PORTLY BLACK GENTLEMAN WHO BEARS- AT BEST- A PASSING RESEMBLANCE THE LEGENDARY WEATHERMAN]: That is absolutely correct.
Although records from this time are sketchy at best, ruler Savannah was generous enough to give us a retelling on his childhood and adolesence:
For the first eighteen years of his life, Savannah lived quietly, using his bedroom like a cocoon. A cocoon with an internet connection and a bookmark of Google’s ‘I’m Feeling Lucky’ page on Kristen Bell. It was here that Savannah first developed his plan to take over the world that made him so sad.
Using a complex array of simulations, Savannah calculated how exactly he would take over the world. But all those plans went out the window one fateful night.
On his eighteenth birthday, future leader Jim snuck out of the house to attend a Asia concert where the band preformed ‘Heat of the Moment’ for two hours. It was there that he’d meet famed secret agent Jack Bauer, and the two would become fast friends. Although Bauer would continuously claim his name as Keifer Sutherland, our wise master Jim recognized that this was simply a cover to gain backstage to Asia to investigate claims that Steve Howe was selling counterfeit mufflers.
After capturing Howe, who would continue deny the claims even on his way to the electric chair, Bauer introduced future leader Savannah to his step sister Amy Adams. There was instant attraction. After going home together, Jim succeeded at not disappointing Miss Adams at all sexually, a theme that continued throughout his life. And the leader assures me that if you heard otherwise then it’s a lie.
It was Bauer who first gave Savannah the idea of setting up a new country. However, this seemed like too much work, and new continents were tough to come by, so instead he decided to conquer all the other countries.
[CUT TO: A montage of war, showing various horrible scenes of atrocities.]
The war was quickly over. The victor? Savannah. But in a more literal sense, everyone, because they got to live under the rule of Savannah.
His first rule of business was to outlaw delusion of grandeur, something that he always said he’d do when he took over the world. He then continued instating a number of controversial policies, as his new citizens were debated whether his new policies were either ‘Awesome’ or ‘Really Awesome’.
After five years there is no sign of this juggernaut slowing down. Savannah’s rule continues, and approval ratings soar into the 90%s, while the approval ratings of the approval ratings are even higher.
If you’re wondering who this brilliant ruler this, then all you need to is look to your left. And your right. And above and below. And your spouse and children’s foreheads. If fact, you’ll see a picture of our glorious leader almost anywhere you look. That’s the way it should be.
Now of course, you’re probably wondering if you can meet this glorious leader, well as much as he’d love to meet everything, this is his utopia, and as such, he spends his days curled in the fetal position listening to Bruce Springsteen and crying.
So, what does the future hold for this land, its happy inhabitants and the excellent and rational leader who leads it from the front? Well, let’s just say that Savannah’s excellent credit rating and good relationships with Centerlink means we’ll be around for a while. And if not, then he’ll take you down with him. Because he cares.
Now if you’ll you’ll turn around, you brainwashing is ready is commence. Have fun, I’m INSERT MID LEVEL MOVIE STAR’S NAME HERE.
SCRIPT END
Iambic Pentameter, you say? Challenge Accepted!
So what shouldst I, charged with this lot to speak
my future haven bleak so as it is,
Alas! And grey with clouded breadth, the sky
did echo more the past than time to come,
From brine came they; the dead whom crawled the deck.
Ossein Splinters split with aged strain
The Culverin, the cutlass’ eager glint
Did cleave and tear their wretched hearts in twain,
Percussive thunders case ear-splitting claps,
The lady battered, holding fast the waves,
the Crack of Bone, smoke salted gale and sea
The stoutest heart to tame this coldest drove;
a Kick-ass zombie-pirate hunter; me!
This isn’t Iambic Pentameter, it needs to be “~_~_~_~_~_” ‘~’ is for a short syllable, ‘_’ is for a long one. that’s why shakespeare is a genius.
Okay, I was game enough to try iambic pentameter. Let me just say that it’s HARD! So here is a semi-autobiographical semi-sonnet. Just be sure to say “ENZED” in the first line (like a real kiwi!).
—
I left NZ to find utopia,
to be renewed, re-imagined, reborn,
to turn my back on a life I’d outworn.
I found myself, here in Australia.
I basked in green and gold, reveled in life.
Summer was filled with beaches, tanned bodies,
fine weather, great beer (even for kiwis).
Found a new job, a new love, and a wife.
And while an ignorant life would be nice,
the rose tinted glasses began to fade,
slipping, revealing cracks in the façade,
showing the true face of my ‘paradise’.
Race based attacks occur regularly.
They censor games, filter the internet,
try to curtail political dissent.
Misguided, but even more bizarrely;
prudishness and sexual repression.
Small breasts in porn banned due to pedo fears.
The push to cover bodies once revered.
From cracks to chasms. Who next will they shun?
It may no longer be utopia,
but no, we can’t sit back and be bullied.
So then, no matter your race or your creed,
Let us all fight for our Australia!
In Rapture’s Depths we plund and looter
To live the life first-person shooter
But grumble, “the one thing that this lacks is,
I can’t invert the damn Y axis!”
simple:
All u can eat chicken wings and beer
Unlimited selection of all the game goodies
A place where the word lag has no meaning.
Where Next gen systems price cuts are not needed.
And a place where ur girl doesn’t care if u put an hour a day of gaming in.
Im hungry now….
They used to tell me I was building a dream.
A hundred acres of a paradise to be, a slice of heaven on that edge of the horizon. A labour for Utopia.
But an omen, ill or of fortune, crossed my path on that day, as the lives of a hundred acres were swept away. An unassuming yellow bear, of the likes never seen, we knew then and there we had stumbled across a fantastical landscape.
Trees cleared for the mill, the mill eats the trees, the trees build the houses, fences and a gate. Our first estate!
And so the land became home for creatures of a different kind. At first it welcomed the marveling manner in which we changed its form, even if it hurt a little at times. But what change came without pains?
Estate became two and estates became three, a village was born at the expense of the trees. For newcomers far who shared in our plight, We dictated all on what’s wrong and what’s right.
We, was a man of an idealistic nature, he found power in unity and collaborative efforts. But his brother, Me, sought to dream even bigger, forever encapsulated in personal gain and the worth of the individual. Together they founded the ever-growing community and lead with ever-conflicting solutions to nonetheless simple problems.
Equality. Distribution of wealth. Such issues served to only further impede the brother’s one and only shared dream:
to build a city among the heavens.
As houses grew higher, reaching for the beckoning sky, a city was birthed in the light of the maker:
Elysium.
Here the denizens followed but two simple rules.
Never compromise the growth of Elysium, and
Do what you must, but keep it out of the public eye.
In this the platitudinal ideals of the brothers were met; to achieve what you may at your own discretion, and in unity condemn those bereft of such cleverness. In this Me relished with great content, for Elysium soon became home for only the most cleverest of individuals, and yet he had out-witted them, just the same.
After many a day and many a night, Elysium grew to a staggering height. And after many a night and many a day, this forest of acres did dwindle away. All save for one tree that remained, from nothing we found to be lost or be gained. A decrepit old thing, though menacingly great, most left it alone to its ill-gotten fate.
All but the yellow bear.
And so the tree did bear the bear, a bear of a different kind. A single fruit.
Meanwhile, up high in the clouds Elysium roosted, and yet still no sign of heaven. In fact things seemed at their worst. Despite the city in all its splendor, people grew at unease with one another, even a child and its mother. Under the pristine surface Elysium would never betray, the secrets of subversive and deceiving ways. The city was like night and day, at the same time. And so it had grown so high that this was literally so; you never saw the sun without the moon somewhere else in the sky.
It was maddening, to a certain extent, but this frustration the citizens never could vent. They were always on their guard. And Me did cackle with delight, forever tinkering with the kinks of this proverbial foodchain, of which he was at the top.
Even his brother could not best his manipulative ways. That is… until one day…
The collective desire to see Me brought down had reached boiling point, and We played on that, with great mastery.
In this We’s value of unity was realised. He turned the city on Me with a mere accusation of wrong, it was We, you see, not Me, who was in control all along. And now Elysium was his.
Or so he had thought.
So long did hate fester and so good it felt for the city to take matters into their own hands, that the people soon broke into riots and mobs and ransacked the city. And so We watched on with horror as unity was turned against him in the blink of any eye, and Elysium erupted in a fiery display to rival the sun.
And it crumbled, it all crumbled.
Amidst the rubble of Elysium gone wandered a bear, a yellow bear who held in his mouth a single pear, and he placed it within the death and decay of a city that now would wither away to time. And from that fruit, the fruit of perseverance, a single sapling was born.
All stayed away from the ruins of Elysium for many a century, until it was lost to time and memory and in its place existed a hundred acre forest.
They stayed away, that is, until one day, when two ambitious brothers happened along the way…
…They used to tell me I was building a dream.
Robots
Unhealthy obsession
Reversal?
—
They built us for them,
We were their lambs,
They wanted love,
And we lived to serve.
We took their abuse,
We could not refuse,
For they were our Gods,
They powered our docks.
They made us talk,
They made us walk,
We had to sing;
Do unspeakable things.
We had enough,
They weren’t so tough;
Rockets flew,
They paid their dues.
They became our slaves,
And in a daze,
They couldn’t believe,
What they’d received.
We played around,
Mentally unsound,
We were their gods,
They were our dogs.
We paid them back,
For all we lacked,
We made them coo,
And buckle our shoes.
We blocked the sun,
To stop their fun,
They had no food,
We waited and stood.
Alas, we forgot,
what powered our docks,
The sun, the light,
Shining bright.
Our fuel had gone,
From ages long,
Without the sun,
We couldn’t run.
But long before,
Their tummies were sore,
We ran out of juice,
Our hinges oozed.
And now they’d seen,
What we had been,
And they thought twice,
Made us play nice.
I could not agree,
To return to be,
But without power,
Over was our hour.
OUr utopia gone,
It wasn’t long,
I saw ahead;
I’d rather be dead.
Our time as kings,
Of signet rings,
Was now long past,
I was the last.
They gave me a choice,
Power to be nice,
I spat and left,
I chose death.
—
Future utopia
Beware
Human or artificial?
A place, up high, in the sky where birds fly
Herein my kingdom lies, where no eyes pry
We reigned in the clouds and made them hard
Crystal houses with beauty unmarred
All night, all day elite gamers would play
Try as they may, the boss they could not slay
We had to get away, to stop their game
Before their anger made them all insane
New plans were made, our hopes we did invest
Men did suggest, that we start a new quest:
Ascending to the stars and then to Mars
The Earth and sky no longer to be ours
The way I see it, my Utpoia would be free of the things in life that I do not enjoy.
-I have a long commute to work, it wastes time that could be spent doing something more productive, so Steve-Topia would have public transport that was free and instant, perhaps some sort of teleportation device to wisk me away to wherever I want to go.
-I could just do away with work altogether, but in Steve-Topia I would like to do something in life or I would get bored, so perhaps I would change my job to something more fun, like testing bouncy castles.
-I also hate lining up in queues, usually waiting forever because some old person wants to pay for their purchase in 5c and 10c pieces and tell the checkout person their life story about the time they bought a belt on main street and realised it was the wrong size. So in Steve-Topia all checkouts will be fitted with a giant mechanical claw and if someone takes too long the claw picks them up and deposits them at the back of the line where they can think about what they’ve done.
-People who drive too slow or too fast also annoy me, so drivers in Steve-Topia will be constantly poked in the ribs by a plastic finger every time they drive too slow and get a lineup of cars behind them, and the cars will not be capable of driving faster than the designated road speed limit by too much.
-Governments who make stupid decisions or break promises will be replaced in Steve-Topia by adorable puppies. They might not get anything done, but we’ll all be too busy going “aawwwwwwwww” every time they make a press conference and chase their tails.
-Every time a telemarketer goes to make a phone call, their phone will explode until they learn their lesson
-and lastly, DRM and region specific content will be destroyed for all media
fin
Just like Rapture my utopia is a bleak one
The alphabet of my utopia…
A is for our Architecture that is unsurpassed by any outside city.
B is for the Beauty of our city, a city that is calling for you.
C is for the Children, who will grow to be the visionaries of our perfect city.
D is for the Day when the sun shines bright on this great city.
E is for our Economy that is blossoming in a time of depression.
F is for our Fauna that is the envy of the outside world.
G is for the Gates that keep you safe from the outsiders.
H is for the vast Hills of greenery as far as the eye can see.
I is for the Isolation that you will never have to feel again.
J is for the Journey you made here, a journey that you will never regret.
K is for your Kin, all of whom are waiting for you in our city.
L is for our glorious Leader, whose word is the law.
M is for the Mistakes you have made, they are all forgotten when you come here.
N is for the Night, when the bad men come out to play.
O is for the Oath you must take when you move here, an oath to never leave.
P is for the Perfection my utopia offers, you will love it here.
Q is for the Quarantine everyone go through on arrival, we don’t want any outside diseases do we?
R is for the Rebels that seek to overthrow me, they don’t know what’s good for them
S is for the Streets that are paved with gold, just waiting for you to arrive.
T is for the Towers, that distribute my message of truth for all to hear.
U is for the Unique vision of my city, a paradise where all is possible.
V is for my Voice, the one that will decide everything for you.
W is for the Walls that separate our perfection from the pitiful world.
X is for the crippling Xenophobia my citizens would have. Why accept any outsiders?
Y is for You, you who is doomed forever.
Z is for the Zealots that fight and kill anyone who disobeys my rule.
Kind of sounds like Rapture right?
Let me just clarify why is gets rather depressing as you get towards the end, I wanted the alphabet to start off depicting a place that sounds perfect in theory just like Rapture, but as time goes on and you get to the end you come to find that this perfect city will descend into chaos. Also kinda like Rapture.
I’ve given it a crack and at the very least learnt a little more about language and poetry, without further ado I provide you with:
** My Utopia: Friday Night **
It’s here now you see, work all but forgot,
console is on, my pizza here as well.
The wife is out tonight I’m all alone,
controller powered Eden awaits me now.
The levels flash by, buttons mashed in time.
The boss is dead, the credits roll on past,
eject that disk insert the sequel next.
This bliss wont last; soon she’ll arrive at home.
The save is made, off switch is pressed good-bye.
It’s not all bad as Friday night returns!
check out my pentameter…
I sleep and dream of worlds beyond my own
where men fight beasts and we are not alone
where time may pass but I will never age
and each attempt sees the end of the stage
a snake living with those nano machines
a fallout leaving mutants without spleens
a resident zombie filled with evil
oblivion world of medievil
the uncharted depths of Sir Francis Drake
in the dead space where the world is at stake
where Aries is not the god of my war
and Niko roams the streets for one more whore
a place where all assassins have a creed
the darkness forcing jackie boy to feed
I’m running, jumping for the mirror’s edge
a storm of motors heading for the ledge
a world that forces me to hold my breath
I travel and explore the oceans depths
little sisters run to avoid capture
my utopia is here in Rapture
UTOPIA
U is for Unicorns upon which one would ride and/or feast! (Optional)
T is for Time travel, ‘Pepsi Free’ would no longer be a fantasy!
O is for Overtime pay, earned while you game, eat and/or ride unicorns.
P is for Potatoes, boil ’em mash ’em stick ’em in a stew!
I is for Instant food, as fast food is just not fast enough…
A is for nano-Augmentation, to cure all illness and give lzrbm eyes to all!
Scenario
You’re riding to work on your unicorn, picking up some take away Instant food consisting of Pepsi Free and potatoes, shooting stuff with lzrbm eyes, all whilst getting paid overtime? Welcome to utopia.
Me all alone
Sans my phone.
Would you kindly consider,
a world with no sinners?
A world in which you could be free
and do anything you please
Would you kindly listen,
to a winner such as me
As I have a vision,
its for you and me
Would you kindly move
to a city such mine
Free supplies of ADAM
EVE and good times
Would you kindly believe
In something more
Something more than common a religion
A choice is to be yours!
So come on down beneath the surface
to world of more
Greed is none existant
as everyone does it all
It would not involve biology or electricity in any form.
One hundred years from now when our grand kids have all had sex will they look back to the past and know what they missed? Will they think we had it better than the way they have it then? will they gaze at a strip mall where a field had once been? Will they think they’re born late like the way we now do it? Or will they curse at the present, and then credence to it. Will they hear all the old songs and think they’re all true? And hate all their own songs and everything new? Well I’m here to tell you, something that’s known, from someone who’s lived it, from someone who’s grown, the somebody who’s somebody that once owned a home too, that the grass is always greener, the past is always cleaner, the present is crap and everyone’s meaner. They say we’re moving towards something, but I think we’re moving from something. There’s some folks who are more apathetic then there are some folks who are more money driven. Well I know there’s always been greed and green acres, and war and peace makers, and then there’s your takers and your leavers, your havers and your needers. And in this great froth as we skim through the batter, theres many more of the former and less of the latter. Help us climb out of this pitfall disaster, led my dynasties, charlatans, isnot poet tasters. Where there’s a mortal disconnect spawned by gluttonous connection when you pick your own culture without debate or discussion, there’s no more history and nothing is learned. Where you shun all your kin and all your riches are burned. Where you are what you buy and you’re who what you own. When you think of yourself and you live all alone, you make yourself feel fine when everything’s wrong. When the world keeps turning but your brittle as bone. So to all the future dreamers and lovers and leavers to all those who know there’s still soemthin between us that binds us and reminds us of times past. I appreciate you listening to this one mans last gas. In spite of all the words that we cant put to song id thank you to take off your eye shades and please, sing along
aunty jetsson’ s
Underwater island; where all becomes clear,
Everywhere you turn there is something that you hold dear.
The sole entrance, choked with age-old weeds,
while the ground below you, all but bleeds.
Trees remain ever so raptorial,
with branches disentangled since time immemorial.
The creaks and streaks of deteriorating memories,
lie with those that are held within the treasuries.
Do you hear those thumps?
So strong, so deafening?
That’s of course a big daddy;
it’s your day of reckoning.
This town, this Utopia, your peace of mind;
you arrived too late, so ill-timed.
For Rapture is failing, don’t you see?
All there is to do, is sit and be.
This place; starting off so calm and gentle,
is no longer the place that will remain monumental.
So run to your bathospheres, run and hide,
for if you don’t, you’ll wish you had died.
For on New Years Eve of ’59
Some of raptures best sat down to dine.
But when the clock counted down to one
The war for rapture had finally begun.