WIN! Bioshock 2 Game and Prize Pack (Xbox 360)

WIN! Bioshock 2 Game and Prize Pack (Xbox 360)

Bioshock 2 is in stores. Rapture is upon us. All this week we have games and prize packs to giveaway. Xbox 360 today, PS3 tomorrow. Get creative with your Utopian vision to win!

Bioshock 2 places you back in the undersea dystopia of Rapture, 10 years after the events of the original game. Only this time you’re a Big Daddy. Actually, you’re THE Big Daddy. The first. But there’s a new regime in the house, and even tougher forces at play under the sea. Get ready to grab all the Adam you can.

Thanks to 2K Games we have five prize packs to give away, one each day this week. Each Bioshock 2 prize pack contains a copy of the game, a Bioshock 2 hoodie, a big Bioshock 2 artbook, a Little Sister figurine, a Bioshock 2 pen, a Bioshock 2 keyring, a plasmid badge, and a vinyl copy of the soundtrack. Total value runs to $274.65 per pack.

All you have to do is tell us in the comments what your version of Utopia would look like. Choose a creative way to describe your vision – haiku, limerick, sonnet… whatever you like. Make it the most entertaining and you’ll have a shot at the prize.

You must also include a valid email address or use Facebook Connect so we can contact you if you win. Entries close midnight EDT and the winner will be announced tomorrow when the new draw opens.

Wednesday’s PC prize pack draw had some of the best entries so far. But there can be only one, and the winner for the day was Mad Danny.

Good luck!

[Terms and Conditions]


  • To all my good friends
    Hidden in the Sahara
    My land Oasis

    Hot women for all
    And that’s not just a bad pun
    Get a tan real quick

    My land is perfect…
    Water: $900?
    Oh dear god I’m screwed

  • Utopia to me,
    Is a Place to be free,
    Water all around
    and only Triple A Title are found,
    The sand is white
    and the sun is bright,
    The only person is me,
    Not Big Daddy

  • A king came to power – quite insane.
    His plan for world rule was so plain,
    either they loved to rock,
    or their heads ‘On the Block!’
    Shmozzie Shmosbourne, rhymed with his name.

    His vision was a world quite impure,
    where his hardcore metal nature endured,
    There would be rock every night,
    with no thought for ear’s plight,
    and the destruction of a mosh overture!

    Now, before they could let dust settle,
    with soon-ness that would their pride nettle,
    due to blood they had shed
    all the people had fled
    that terrible old King who loved metal.

    To a great cartoon
    I owe this mad idea

  • Because I was mostly happy with my entry yesterday, I’ve decided to improve what I had and throw in a nod to yesterdays winning entry 🙂 –

    Look up to my city in space
    It was a dream I chose to chase
    There was land to claim
    So the first people came
    They vanished without a trace

    Onlookers could not comprehend
    Why up there people met their end
    When they started to learn
    My city did burn
    My world I had to defend

    I fought for all I was worth
    To Utopia I had given birth
    It possessed no dragon
    But I had built a cannon
    One shot did away with the Earth

  • My utopia:

    At home, playing bioshock 2, wearing a Bioshock 2 hoodie, on my coffee table the Bioshock 2 artbook, a Little Sister figurine sitting on my computer desk, a Bioshock 2 pen in my pen holder, an awesome Bioshock 2 keyring with keys to my new Ferrari on it, a plasmid badge that I earned shooting fire from my left hand and ice from my right, and a vinyl copy of the soundtrack – wait, scratch that last one, why do I want it in Vinyl again? 😛

  • Food is the theme of utopia
    It’s a veritable cornucopia
    There are feasts everywhere
    Eat as much as you dare
    It’s the opposite of Ethiopia (what, too soon?)

    All here can chow down with parity
    The food fights result in hilarity
    But we will become so dense
    A black hole will commence
    And we’ll end up as a singularity

    (This verse requires some, um, flexibility in pronunciation)

    To not win would be criminal
    My new turntable’s beggin’ for vinyl
    If the winner be me
    In my pants I will pee
    Cause I wonn’t make it to the urinal

    Gratuitous haiku:
    Thankyou for your time
    Kotaku comps are the best
    I am a big suck

  • 4th times the charm! This is getting harder every day 🙂

    Although this may make you start
    Utoptia begins with a fart
    The expulsion of air
    From your derriere
    Will cause everyone to depart

    Now that the room is all clear
    You can make any rules that you dare
    Optional pants!
    No stupid romance!
    And a fridge dedicated to beer!

    Alas, this state cannot last
    The room you are in is too vast
    The gas dissipates
    The room populates
    No pants, no beer, an outcast

  • Poke-ship-opia

    the utopia would be an airship, only visible to true peace holder, or those who belive in peace over war. Applications booths will be set up all over the planet for people who can see to apply to go to it.
    it is free to go there. nothing costs there and money is useless. peace prevails.
    research labs are researching secret projects on the airship to make pokemon a real part of life and not just a video game. scientists belive they’ve perfected it, and have produced many pokemon, even scaled down versions of bigger pokemon. pokemon battles are restricted to arenas, and their powers will not function outside of the arena.
    one day, someone requests a Mewtwo, it is done, but due to mewtwo having it’s own mind and voice, chaos breaks loose. he destroys the power restrictors, and the pokemon go crazy and attack the residence.

    thats my submission, enjoy and good luck to all.

  • In my utopia there would be no such thing as haikus, limricks or sonnets…. but there would be Miranda Kerr naked crab walking through my living room.

  • A place driven from man kind rejects of earth

    Home among the stars h.a.t.s Is my Utopia build
    Out of pain, love and anger my city was born
    My Home My Death awaits me
    Every day that goes by the air is getting thicker

    A Drug Name Maxinum has hit my city driving
    My people to kill their loved ones and very
    Over the violent to each other
    Never in my life have I seen so much pain
    God can only judge us now

    The only way out is the way you came in
    Haters and street thugs are everywhere
    Every day they get stronger learning new powers

    So to make it up here you need to learn
    The ways of shadow stay out of sight
    Attack in the darkness become more then yourself
    Redemption is Just Around The Bend
    So Come To My City My utopia will u love or hate

  • My utopia is being well kept,
    No work or rent, but time to reflect,
    I’d get free hot meals,
    Make shadowy deals,
    And at softball I’d become quite adept.

    I’d make friends who’re really into me,
    They’d offer me much of their company,
    We’d have lots of fun,
    And when all’s said and done,
    We’d retire for some pleasant recovery.

    And now I am living this fantasy,
    Though it isn’t as fun as I thought it’d be,
    I want to escape,
    This huge damn mistake,
    Doing 7-10 in a state penitentiary.

  • We all fall victim to a mixture of elegance
    Guilty pleasure and hope
    To a new place I’d like to call home
    Not filled with the constant pressures of life
    The little things matter not in this new world
    There are no victims of expectations
    There is no need to keep up with the jones’
    People can just be themselves
    People can just enjoy life
    This is my utopia.

  • I am Australian and I am here to ask you a question:
    Is a man not entitled to ‘Lamb’ Chops on the barbee?

    No, says the man in Washington; we prefer ‘Ronald’ Mac Donald.
    No, says the man in the Vatican; we prefer Aqua Vitae (The water of life)!
    No, says the man in Moscow; we prefer Smirnov… Vodka.

    I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something. I chose the impossible. I chose… LAMB, Sophia!

    In a country where the video games would ‘not’ fear the censor.
    Where the knifey/spooney would not be bound by the Simpsons.
    Where the mullet would not be constrained by outback folk.
    And with the sweet smell of Sophia ‘Lamb’ on the barbee,
    Australia can become your Utopia as well.
    — Sam Kekovich “Lambassador of Australia”

  • No wait David Jones’s Miranda Kerr, are you sure you want to make out with Grace Brothers’s Jennifer Hawkins and make me watch??

  • Oh man I get to write more limericks! 🙂

    “My utopia’s just me,” I would yell,
    “and a thousand beautiful women as well”
    But when their cycles all synch
    Before I can blink
    For one week of each month I’m in hell

  • My Naked World (Haiku)

    A World Without Clothes,
    So Beautiful We’d All Be,
    Naked. Happy. Free.

    Everyone Naked.
    Tall, short, fat, thin, young, old,
    embraced by world.

    Lost Sexual Desire,
    No more imagination.
    Where is the passion?

  • From the Book of (sega) Genesis

    17.And the lord said unto him, blessed are the game companies who are game enough to release original IP, rather than flooding the market with sequels. 18.And man knew that it was good. 19.And the lord said unto him, and I command that any DLC available at launch should be included with original purchase. 20.And man knew that it was good. 20.And the lord said unto him, and all depictions of females in games should be realistic, with appropriate proportions and bodyweights, and all clothing worn by these characters should be functional rather than revealing. 21.And man started to get a bit concerned.

    22.So man created his own market, of original IP’s, and sequels only to those that are critically acclaimed. 23.Man ruled that DLC should be provided freely, as encouragement to continue purchase late into the product cycle. 24.And man ruled that games should be priced reasonably, so as not to bankrupt the enthusiast, and for pirates to be dealt with to the full extent of the law, so as not to discourage the developers. 25.And man ruled that games should be classified in accordance with all ages of man, so that children are protected from the vices of man, but man can still indulge in these vices at his choosing. 26.And finally, man ruled that depictions of man and woman be highly stylised, unrealistic and borderline exploitative, but only where contextually appropriate, because who doesn’t like a bit of fun now and then?

    27.And the lord looked upon all that man had made and said, yes. 28.This truly is a Utopia of Gaming.

  • my place of wonder gameconworldly would be a 60 foot building
    filled with the brim with 360 consoles with thousands of games being played system linked
    and all the players would be all cosplayers dressed
    up in there fav character’s from video games and comics mostly hot female ones ;D there would be a waterfall of red bull in the middle of the party
    and wet t-shirt comps with the lovely lady cosplayers 😀 there also would be a giant projector screen on the 2nd floor screening all new games coming out in the new year also there would be a bioshock room up above that floor with giant big sister and big daddy statues hell I’m loving the sound of this place I’m going to try to get rich and build it who am I kidding I’ll never get there please gimme the prize so I can get over never reaching my place of wonder.

  • There once was a man in a small town
    who looked at his world with a great frown.

    Where good people suffered and idiots thrived,
    Where bad people profited while innocent died.

    He looked out at this and said he had enough
    So he packed up his bags and left with a huff.

    He kept on a driving without pause or rest
    till he found a spot to make his quiet nest.

    On a large sign he painted with glee
    “As long as you handle it, you’ll be Free.”

    Barely had he settled with his pipe and a snack
    when to his small spot came more in a pack.

    “We too tire of the world,” they explained,
    “So let us join yours!” they exclaimed.

    So the man let them come and settle in
    and for a while they all were like kin.

    Then one day like most any other
    a couple came up with a big bother.

    “Our neighbors, oh vey, are loud and annoying,
    They need to be silenced or we’ll get destroying”

    So with a heavy sigh the man went to see what was the matter
    But found that the neighbors had much more to say and chatter.

    “Those fellows? So mean! They won’t stop complaining
    Even when were just doing something entertaining.”

    So the man had a conundrum, a problem for sure,
    Should he find something democratic or something more pure?

    He fumbled and thought, he had a grumble and a moan,
    Till he said “F*ck it” and let them settle their own.

    He sat in his hut and ignored all the sound,
    Like the screams and the cries and the dogs unbound.

    In the morning he saw a terrible sight,
    Of bodies on fire, of bodies with bite.

    So with a soft smile he took a gun to his head,
    “I guess we weren’t free from our demons we most dread.”

  • Here I Just Come up With This One I Put All My Heart Into it. its got to win after all the trys hahaha :P……

    I wanted to build a city based on trust but I was

    Dumb tothink the first years everything was okthen
    Redemption Kicked in the deserted wanted to clam
    Everything back sand covered my city my utopia
    A man once said to me to build suck beauty comes
    Much cost I did not think this was true

    Of course It Was People Started getting sick
    Fight each other stealing and looting

    The city went to hell cover by sand light is
    Hard to come by down here and its so hot
    Everything is going to hell hacked bots are

    Rebelling and killing off everybody
    Eve and ammo what u need to survive
    Down here and being able to hack does too
    Everything is not asit seems for there is a hidden
    Master Code between these walls that will hold
    Power that can crush
    The world or change mankind for the better
    I Made Science My Friend in the End it turned onme
    Outof anger I have grown to call this place home i
    Named it Redemption

  • Utopia

    No country or person has succeeded
    In creating a Utopia needed.
    Not Moa, not Hitler, not Stalin
    Or even the Dark Lord Sauron.
    Have remotely come close to
    What they said they would do.
    But still with much death they preceded.

    But alas my good friends look no further,
    Not a single person shall I murder*.
    I’m not much of a long walker,
    And I’m not a great talker.
    I can’t grow a great stash
    And I’m not for equal cash.
    I have no desire
    To stop a ring from a fire.
    But I promise you all you’ll love her.

    She’ll be a great place
    Where all the girls will wear lace.
    And for all of you ladies,
    Your men shall bear babies.
    There will be steak and beer.
    But girls never fear.
    For there’s desserts for you all,
    Instead of fat, you’ll grow tall.
    For this is Utopia, a place I call Ace

    In Ace you can do
    What it is you want to
    You can be a great hero
    Or you can do nothing… zero.
    As no one will Judge
    Or hold any grudge
    To any other fellow
    White, black or yellow
    Because here we love you

    “So where is it you ask?
    Where in the sun I shall bask”
    Well my friend, the answer is final.
    And there shall be no denial.
    Just step right this way,
    Without a delay.
    Take this sweet pill,
    In this form you shall fill.
    This is your last task.

    Now that you’re asleep,
    Not making a peep.
    I shall tell you the truth
    for I have been quite uncouth.
    Utopia is not real
    but you signed the deal.
    To live it all in your head,
    as you sleep like you’re dead
    To never arise
    or open your eyes.
    Or find out I’m a money hungry creep.

    *The deaths that will occur will not be from my hands. Death will occur as a result from the pill administered by the practitioners of Utopia ®™

  • There once was a old man from Nantuckit..
    Holed up in his private oasis, thought he lucked it,
    As a harem arrived,
    And stripped down to their skin,
    His heart gave way, before he could …. .. he kicked the bucket!

  • (Background: I came up with this as a 7 year old kid. Yes, Damonia; the island where everyone, male or female, must be named Damon or be deported to Ethiopia)

    There once was a fabled utopia,
    To the East of Ethiopia,
    The only law and requirement,
    Would lead to descent and torment,
    Yes, this island was known as Damonia,

    To be a Damonian officially
    You must be named Damon, which worked initially,
    As everyone’s name
    Was exactly the same,
    There could be no tax, helping all; beneficially.

    But chaos arose when the public complained,
    It was simply insane to all have the same name,
    When the Damon collective demanded,
    To have Damonia’s one law remanded,
    This effectively ended the Damonian campaign

    (because a Damonia where everyone isn’t named Damon, simply isn’t Damonia at all…)

    RIP DAMONIA 11/02/2010

  • To sit and wait I ponder
    where my boring life heads to yonder
    A competition where the Bio leads to Shock
    I am fixated on a mental block.
    A story written for better worlds
    Inside my brain I hope it unfurls.

    Now that that helped I will continue.

    A superior unites our thoughts
    Where our brains controlled by bots
    The hunt for greater passion
    We point to technical fashion
    For now our minds are thicken plots.

    Like ants we manic through the grounds
    Less from fear but greater our sounds,
    Human calculators we’re called
    To which every finer detail can be stored
    Walking mechanics fill these towns.

    To reign terror on the human race
    There is nothing on this land to erase,
    Mental circuits, technical bug
    Out of control, to much junk
    Look what we’ve done to this shocking place.

  • Script Revision 4#

    TITLE: So, wait? ALL the girls here look like moderately popular redheaded actresses?: A documentary for new citizens of Savawesome, a 21st Century Utopia.


    [INT. Day A man- possibly a mid level movie star whose glory days are distant and visible only through a curtain of court arraigned community service and drugs , think Christian Slater or Kurt Russell -sits on a couch. As the camera approaches, this mid level movie star turns around].

    MID LEVEL STAR: Oh hey there! Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. I guess you’re here for the welcome lecture, since the hotline said the women would be black and easily angered, and I see you’re neither of those. Right? You’re not from the hotline are you? Of course you’re not!

    As a new citizen of our glorious world, I’m rather jealous of you. I can see you there, eyes full of hope and wonder, still with months of intense brainwashing to undergo. You probably have so many questions: Who is in charge? Is this really a utopia? And if it is, why the hell aren’t you the girl from the Hotline?

    Well, you’re in luck, because I have a lot of answers. Actually, that’s that not true, years of drug abuse have left me with very little cognitive reasoning ability. However, I do have a sheet containing words and the producers assure me that the contents, properly read to you by a soothing voice, will give you the answers.

    So first things first: How did this glorious utopia start? To trace that we need to go back to a simpler time. A time where cocaine was an acceptable substitute for water, water was an acceptable substitute for food, and food was something to eaten be instead of thrown at detractors of the great Ruler Savannah.

    CUT TO: A picture montage of Glorious Leader Savannah’s childhood.

    [VOICEOVER] MID LEVEL STAR: Yes, to fully understand Savawesome, we need to go back, way back to the birth of our glorious Ruler Savannah was born.

    On that morning, a glorious and blinding light would shine over the land, as if the immortal rulers of the skies themselves where acknowledging the presence of a new deity.

    Although critics claimed that this light was in fact an everyday occurrence called a ‘Sunrise’, it was quickly dismissed by experts. But that’s a dirty lie! Although don’t take my word for it! Let’s just ask weatherman- and close personal friend to Jim- Al Roker.


    Although records from this time are sketchy at best, ruler Savannah was generous enough to give us a retelling on his childhood and adolesence:

    For the first eighteen years of his life, Savannah lived quietly, using his bedroom like a cocoon. A cocoon with an internet connection and a bookmark of Google’s ‘I’m Feeling Lucky’ page on Kristen Bell. It was here that Savannah first developed his plan to take over the world that made him so sad.

    Using a complex array of simulations, Savannah calculated how exactly he would take over the world. But all those plans went out the window one fateful night.

    On his eighteenth birthday, future leader Jim snuck out of the house to attend a Asia concert where the band preformed ‘Heat of the Moment’ for two hours. It was there that he’d meet famed secret agent Jack Bauer, and the two would become fast friends. Although Bauer would continuously claim his name as Keifer Sutherland, our wise master Jim recognized that this was simply a cover to gain backstage to Asia to investigate claims that Steve Howe was selling counterfeit mufflers.

    After capturing Howe, who would continue deny the claims even on his way to the electric chair, Bauer introduced future leader Savannah to his step sister Amy Adams. There was instant attraction. After going home together, Jim succeeded at not disappointing Miss Adams at all sexually, a theme that continued throughout his life. And the leader assures me that if you heard otherwise then it’s a lie.

    It was Bauer who first gave Savannah the idea of setting up a new country. However, this seemed like too much work, and new continents were tough to come by, so instead he decided to conquer all the other countries.

    [CUT TO: A montage of war, showing various horrible scenes of atrocities.]

    The war was quickly over. The victor? Savannah. But in a more literal sense, everyone, because they got to live under the rule of Savannah.

    His first rule of business was to outlaw delusion of grandeur, something that he always said he’d do when he took over the world. He then continued instating a number of controversial policies, as his new citizens were debated whether his new policies were either ‘Awesome’ or ‘Really Awesome’.

    After five years there is no sign of this juggernaut slowing down. Savannah’s rule continues, and approval ratings soar into the 90%s, while the approval ratings of the approval ratings are even higher.

    If you’re wondering who this brilliant ruler this, then all you need to is look to your left. And your right. And above and below. And your spouse and children’s foreheads. If fact, you’ll see a picture of our glorious leader almost anywhere you look. That’s the way it should be.

    Now of course, you’re probably wondering if you can meet this glorious leader, well as much as he’d love to meet everything, this is his utopia, and as such, he spends his days curled in the fetal position listening to Bruce Springsteen and crying.

    So, what does the future hold for this land, its happy inhabitants and the excellent and rational leader who leads it from the front? Well, let’s just say that Savannah’s excellent credit rating and good relationships with Centerlink means we’ll be around for a while. And if not, then he’ll take you down with him. Because he cares.

    Now if you’ll you’ll turn around, you brainwashing is ready is commence. Have fun, I’m INSERT MID LEVEL MOVIE STAR’S NAME HERE.


  • B is for Bioshock2, the game I can’t afford,
    I is for “Itopia,” the utopia that’s mine not yours’
    O is for Obtainium, the common local resource,
    S is for Slicer, my friends who come in hoardes.
    H is for Horrendous, which this poem has become,
    S is for Start, which I wish I hadn’t done,
    O is for Objectionable, the intevitable outcome,
    C is for Chances, for a win, I guess I have none.
    K is for Kicking myself in the shins,
    2 is for Second, my second try at a win.

  • To tell tales of Abe Vidusa
    Is to talk of a crazed producer,
    Who through profitable schemes
    Built a city of dreams,
    Ideals and knowledge for you, sir.

    To the folk of city Medusa,
    Wise Abe played the role of seducer,
    Through promised success
    And hedonistic excess
    His oratory – a motive inducer

    The city was no health infuser,
    But made sociopaths profuser.
    Wise Abe was soon struck,
    That all was unstuck,
    When he was force-fed through a juicer.

  • There is an idea inside my head
    To build a place, in this worlds stead
    And with my two hands, from motor and sand
    A city of splendor would stand

    And I would fill it with the worlds finest
    Procuring people with violence
    And stolen in silence
    Now my people would work and toil
    Adding only to my fine spoil
    My Utopian city made of man

    I’d dictate the rules, with duplicative grace
    Bending the will of many a race
    I’d have Persians marrying Italians
    And the Swiss marry Swedes
    Their daughters are so beautiful
    A pickup line is so useful

    The Japanese would innovate
    And the Germans would reinvigorate,
    Their engineering projects so austere
    Simple people gasp in fear

    But now they seem to rebel me
    Choosing instead to dispel me
    Society is so complex, my decisions have no effect
    And with blood lust inside them, my city burns because of them

    All because Utopia… included man

  • Choose a creative way to describe your vision – haiku, limerick, sonnet… whatever you like – How about my own version of Australia’s national anthem?

    Kotakians, let us make a choice
    Between Australia or fantasy
    Let’s sell our oil for aluminium foil
    Lest our home be undersea
    Our land’s devoid of fashion sense
    Like thongs which we all wear
    Let’s start a trend, from start to end
    Australia, we must repair!
    Like adult games, then let us sing
    Australia, we must repair!

    When clever Rudd in Chinese said
    No copyright infringement please
    Some guy ignored, a fine he scored
    With Nintendo’s legal fees
    Now censorship has made us mad
    On what can or can’t be shown
    But some fight with courage, skill and wit
    Young men of names unknown
    Like Sydney trains, then let us sing
    Australia, we must repair!

    Pretending to be in a utopian dream
    An ideal I’ll always dismiss
    This land is fine, it needs no time
    Our utopia already exists
    Sure, some men fight and steal and kill
    But through consoles on a chair
    With nought to gain, then let us sing
    Australia, we have repaired!

    But human nature is never stable
    Our world must change in time
    What’s funny then isn’t funny now
    Political incorrectness, now a crime
    We gamers will now take up the stand
    And fight for what is fair
    In a society of mediocrity
    Australia, we will repair!

  • …an excerpt from ‘Utopia’ chapter six: The Losing Battle

    Daylight was fading fast, and the man ran faster than he’d ever run before. Sweat streamed down his neck, dampening his collared shirt as the gunshot cracks of shoes hitting cobblestones echoed down the narrow alleyway. He paused a moment to catch his breath, heart pounding in his ears. He snapped his head around, eyes peering down the rim of his glasses to the empty street behind. Empty for now, but they were surely coming. They were never far behind.

    He should have known better than to be out this late, away from the safety of his fortified home, but a fire burned within him. He NEEDED to hope that there was someone out there still like him. Surely the sickness had not taken everyone?

    As he mused, his eyes were drawn to a poster that had been taped to the alley wall, a blemish against the otherwise plain brickwork. He ripped the poster from the wall and stared at it with bitter dismay. Tears of resentment stung at his eyes as he crammed the paper into his jacket pocket. The fact that he had found one so close to his home hurt him more than he could articulate.

    He was broken from his reverie by the distinct guttural cry that so often haunted his nightmares. THEY HAD FOUND HIM. A pit of dread was made manifest in his stomach as he again broke into a sprint. He heard them now, screaming maniacally as they gave chase. His legs suddenly felt as though they were made of lead, but the new burst of adrenaline coursing through his system made short work of any fatigue.

    Moving desperately, he vaulted over the short fence into the grassy field across the road from his house. Behind him the horde moved and roared as one, gaining ground fast. The grass was slippery from rain the previous night, and the man stumbled to all fours. Then they were upon him. His heart seized as he felt the hands grasping at his jacket. Time seemed to slow for him at that moment. This was it, he thought. This is where they would take him, mere feet from his home.

    “NO” he said to himself. He had to endure. He had to HOPE.

    Delirious with fear he summoned one final push; one last-gasp attempt. Eyes clamped firmly shut as the bodies clambered over him, he urged himself to his feet and pushed forward with all his remaining will. When he opened his eyes, he was free and running up his driveway. He turned back incredulously. Somehow, he’d squirmed out of his jacket and was putting distance between himself and the horde.

    He allowed himself a wry smile as he hurled his body through the front doorway. Spinning quick he slammed it shut and ran his hand down the assortment of locks and latches. He couldn’t believe it. He was safe.

    He stared through the bulletproof glass window at the crowd assembling outside his house. They couldn’t get in. He knew it and so did they.

    One of them stepped forward from the pack. In one hand he held the man’s jacket. In the other, the crumpled poster from the alley. For a moment they stood there and stared at each other, not a metre apart, separated by the glass. Two very different men. The man outside suddenly slammed the poster against the window. Two more stepped forward from the group to tape it in place. The man outside gave a Cheshire smile before abruptly turning away. They all went with him, shouting with glee as he held the jacket aloft like a trophy. Then they were gone.

    Alone, the man finally slumped to his knees. Now that the euphoric moment of escape had passed, the weight of his situation once again settled on his shoulders. He looked up at the poster they had left for him, placed there like a bruise on his house. It was a promotional poster:

    “FALLOUT 4” it read, over images of a post apocalyptic wasteland.

    Tears now flowing freely down his cheeks, Michael Atkinson turned his eyes to the small text near the bottom:

    “RATED R18+”


    C’mon everyone you know the tune! Sing along with my utopian things!


    Tough platform runners and games for role playing
    Chests full of loot and quest that are well paying
    Taking off limbs of harpies with wings
    These are a few of my utopian things things

    Leather clad wenches covered in netting
    Completing a dungeon without need for resetting
    A little blue hedgehog on platforms with springs
    These are a few of my Utopian things

    Oversized guns complete with mean chainsaws
    That perfect headshot between the eyeballs
    Any old game as long as i don’t have to sing
    These are a few of my Utopian things

    When the orc bites
    When my pee stings
    When i’m owned by the lads
    I simply log into my Utopian things
    And then I don’t feeeeeeel sooooooo baaaaaaad

  • I’ve always loved Katamari Damacy.

    My new utopia would have to be based on rolling up random objects with balls. Just imagine how awesome it would be to infuse your ball with plasmid powers while trying to be the fastest to roll your ball into the biggest just you can roll that pesky big sister/daddy so you can get at that sweet little sister and her juicy adam.


    and that is the ultimate utopia – a giant mass of random splicers/big daddies/big sisters/useless junk in this world.

  • (Accidentally posting in the wrong thread hope it doesn’t matter)

    To describe the rise, success and fall of my utopia I’ve attempted all three:

    Words without shadows,
    speaking in full sentences.
    Vision this Eden

    Be it printed media, the tube or online
    Each spoken word to the ear so divine
    No dropping of vowels,
    or swapping s for z fouls.
    This be the utmost Shangri-La I’d design

    The teenagers you see wouldn’t utter a chime.
    Suddenly they’d have no words to remark,
    faces red with ire but no way to bark.
    Remember only full words or its a crime

    I wouldn’t imprison but dock them a dime.
    The mother tongue should be shared with full spark,
    it shouldn’t be butchered and feed to a shark.
    I fight a great battle against time,

    this fear I do have deep down in my heart.
    Impossible to keep them all silent
    I’d continue to fight with sound honor.

    No matter my resistance one day out; smart.
    It’ll crash and burn and become violent
    the moment I utter “lolz” I’m a goner.

  • My Utopia originated from a group of humanistic monks, who believed that in order for humanity to prosper and reach its true potential it must rid itself from emotions as best as possible. Without greed there is no consumerism, without hate there is no war, without love there is no jealousy and all that Yoda crap.

    Hidden from the rest of humanity, deep within the densest jungle in the world, this paradise allows humans to reach their full potential without the bounds of society, create Art which will not be judged, invent to further humanity instead of generate profit, and dedicate your time to becoming the best man or woman you can be.

    However emotions are embedded deep within the human psyche, and cannot be so easily suppressed. Instead of verbally expressing emotions, it was declared by the Monk council that instead of verbalising or acting upon emotions people must give a simple gift which symbolises the emotion they are feeling towards someone.

    For example, if you are happy with someone, present them with a colourful flower, if you are unhappy then give them a blue balloon.

    Things quickly desolve however when one man decides to give an armed nuclear bomb to another man who slept with is wife…

  • In my utopia, name Palstrandia, everyone works 3 day weeks. This is in cycles so only a portion of the populationis working at one time. This is also 24hrs a day, nothing needs to close. This will solve unemployment and means there is always something to do at any time of day.

    We would found Palstrandia in the cook islands. This is because it is pretty far from everywhere, small enough that an elite armed unit could “Secure” it, and no other country should notice for a while. By the time they do and the UN decide to do anything it will be too late. Palstrandia will have begun and everyone there will be happy. So they won’t ask for “Help”.

    I would have a giant dome built to cover us, built of solar pannels. This will protect us from global warming by having controlled temperatures inside. It will also power the ecofriendly homes inside. People can still come and go but if the other countries stuff up the world we will still be safe.

    Finally once I had established all the Laws of Palstrandia I would have a ship built to carry my body in cryostasis into space to be awoken in times of great peril so that I can return to save the citizens on Palstrandia. Either that or be found by an alien race in a solar system with a blue sun that imbues me with supernatural powers and spend the rest of my life doing heroic deeds while hiding my true identity.


    It is important this image is viewed whilst singing this song. to the tune of an unstable mind.

    I wake up in the morning.
    There’s no time for yawning.
    gotta go to unicorn LAND!!!!

    I eat lots of breakfast
    energy for the day,

    look at all the unicorns!
    they are so much fun!
    I like all the unicorns!
    I love them so much!!

    BUT! OH NO!

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