WIN! Dante’s Inferno PS3/360 Game And Book

WIN! Dante’s Inferno PS3/360 Game And Book

How would you like to win yourself a copy of Dante’s Inferno on PS3 or Xbox 360? And a copy of the book of the game of the poem? Here’s how.

UPDATE: Today’s draw is now closed. Try again from 9am Wednesday.

Dante’s Inferno is the new action adventure from EA and Visceral Games, the guys responsible for Dead Space and The Godfather. It’s based on the Divine Comedy, the classic work of 14th century Italian literature written by Dante Alighieri depicting the poet’s journey into the afterlife and through the nine circles of Hell.

You can find out from producer Jonathan Knight just how Visceral reimagined Dante’s Inferno, from poetry to playability, in our interview.

We’ve got eight copies of Dante’s Inferno – four Xbox, four PS3 – and eight copies of the book to give away this week. Each day, from today until Friday, we’ll be offloading two prize packs: one with the 360 version and book, the other with the PS3 version and book.

To win, we want to know your picks for the Seven Deadly Sins of Gaming. Dante’s description of Purgatory contained his interpretation: pride, envy, wrath, sloth, avarice, gluttony and lust.

But what for you are the most objectionable vices in video gaming? Don’t just give us a list, explain your choices.

Leave your entry in the comments below along with your console preference (don’t say both). You must also include a valid email address or use Facebook Connect. Entries close at midnight EDT tonight and the two daily winners will be announced tomorrow when the new draw opens.

Good luck!

[Terms and Conditions]


  • I’ll keep my entry simple and use the original sins, but explain their true meanings. PS3 version please

    Gluttony – continuously buying new games with little or no intention of going back an finishing previous purchases.

    Lust – desiring a game so much that you would pre order from EB just to receive their one piece of exclusive downloadable armor.

    Greed – Buying up vast numbers of cheap games to use as ‘trade bait’ instead of letting those who desire affordable games for their own use.

    Sloth – Not caring about the condition you leave your games in once you take them out of your console and forget where you left the box.

    Wrath – Destruction of gaming property during a ragequit.

    Envy – Complaining that only home consoles are receiving new games while your beloved PC cannot use its own disc drive due to DRM.

    Pride – Using your achievement score/trophy level as a basis of your superiority over another.

    • Gluttony- Thou shalt not eat a gamers money for profit or gain.

      Lust- Thou shalt not be tempted to buy henti related games

      Greed- Thou shalt not use credit cards to pay for games (if you dont pay it back you will be in debt)

      sloth- Thou shalt not be 30+ years old playing World of Warcraft in there moms, basement all day with no job.

      Wrath – Thou shalt not brake someones gaming system.

      Envy- Thou shalt not copy a true gamers L337 skills and name.

      Pride- Thou Shalt not gloat or s-talk to others with no skills

  • The most objectionable vice in video gaming?


    Bad AI pathfinding, a target that both cannot defend themselves AND go and do stupid things (I’m looking at you, Little Sisters!) combine to create the most awful game-extending strategy of all time.

    I’m trying to keep you not-dead! Why are you looking at those damn flowers while guys are trying to EAT MY FACE? You have three options:
    1 – How about you RUN instead of waddling to our destination?
    2 – Hell, I’ll pick you up and run you over there…
    3 – Pick up a chainsaw and start chopping, girly.

    (PS3 please)

      • Apologies – the opportunity to vent grabbed me, and I missed the detail.

        2 – UNSKIPPABLE CUTSCENES, especially before boss fights.

        No, Mr Game Developer. I bought the game, I decide what I do with it. Making me watch that same video render over and over again, while it’s pretty, is not FUN. Remember what that was?


        Yes, I play games for plot. No, I didn’t hear what your character said because of your-crappy-voiceover-recording/next-door’s-baby-crying/girlfriend-interrupting/sudden-lapse-in-concentration. Can’t replay the cutscene and find that critical mission detail? OH GEE THANKS.


        Why do I not know what to do next in your game? (Was it lack of subtitles?) No mission log? No map objectives? Unexplained happennings? Look, I’m a guy of pretty reasonable intelligence. Let’s say half-way on the bell curve, for instance. That means at least HALF the people who bought your game will probably get stuck in the same way I have. I shouldn’t need you sitting over my shoulder to explain what I do next, Mr Game Developer.


        Now, I realise I’m in the minority here; it’s just me and those two guys over there who can’t seem to learn how to play FPS on controllers. But FFS – the PS3 supports mouse and keyboard controls – you just have to map them over lazy sons of bitches.


        Screw you, publishers. I want to play your game. It may not be cost-effective for you to sell it in my country, yeah, fair enough, that’s a business decision. But when I’m willing to pay the cost to import it over, you still say I can’t play? WTF? Do you not like money?

        Gaming industry, you’ve had a good couple of decades to sort out the delays of localisation. Sony, of all companies, has managed to get their shit together, and relase a region-free console. Yet, publishers still can’t manage to release a game in multiple languages at once? GET A NEW PROJECT MANAGER.

        And finally, I’m in the minority again – I’m one of those idiots who bought a PSPgo. PSP is region free. If I’d bought the old model, I could play any game I could get my hands on. But no. I went digital. I’m supporting Sony’s new (and more profitable) business model. And by doing so, I’m punished because I can only download games that you can be bothered putting on our half-assed PSN. I know it’s the publishers’ fault that they choose not to release games in my region, but it’s also your fault for not providing enough incentives for them to do so.

        7 – KIRBY

        God I hate that guy. Argh. What a douche.

  • Gluttony: Must have beer!
    Greed: Loot Ninja!
    Lust: If I angle the camera just right I can see up her skirt.
    Addiction: Next checkpoint… next save point… next…
    Ignorance: I have a family?
    Aggression: Woman, Get out the way of the screen!

    Xbox 360

    • now for the details 😉

      world of warcraft because it is ann addictive drug that steals you away from life and prevents you from enjoying real games and trying new things.

      hentai games because there is no replacement for the real thing.

      wii is a lie, you’re not gaming, you’re being suckered.

      pirated games – how can you love gaming yet not support them? this is a sin.

      modchips are the backbone of pirate games. if you were serious about gaming, you’d take good enough care of your disks that you dont need “back up” copies of them.

      console fanboism – they both serve their purpose so stfu.

      supporting michael attkinson – nuff said.

  • The Extravagant – from those whom own all 5 latest Gaming consoles and so many games they couldn’t have the time to play them.

    The Lustful – for those who wish they had gaming console let alone the time to play it.

    The avaricious – for those whom have too much money and can afford to waste it on some really bad games, someone must be buying them?

    The Despair – its what I have, too much to do and not enough time…

    The Slothful – that’s where I’d end up if I had no job!

    Envious – So jealous that those at Kotaku get to test, play, discover and all the latest and greatest about our favorite past time.

    The wrathful – its what Kotaku will do when the give this prize to someone else other then me for the awesomeness that is the Seven Deadly Sins…

    -follow the list and someones going to purgatory…probably me 🙂 oh and I own a PS3…

  • Seven Deadly Sins of Video Gaming:

    1) Wii – It is the first ring. It is easily knocked out as it is distracts people from the task of serious gaming! Pride comes before a fall yes?

    2) X-Box 360 – This is the second ring of Video Gaming Hell where envy leads to sufferance under the Red Ring of Death.

    3) The PC – This third ring sees those who have fallen to unleashing their wrath upon the The Blue Screen of Death! This is the most horrible of Gates to bear!

    4) The Nintendo DS – This ring encourages those who are too lazy to get a real hand held gaming machine to the sin of sloth! You could do nothing, or you could do nothing with a DS in your hand!

    5) The Nintendo DSi – Within this ring resides designers who are worse than lazy! They just gave the DS a camera, whoops two! Watch as you burn!

    6) The 20 games in 1 – No doubt the designers of this and the person who gave one to my son reside here in this ring! In an age where we care so much about the environment these poor souls are guilty of creating a gluttony of land fill.

    7) The Last Ring – Here resides all the poor souls, who having made a poor choice in gaming console, device or design, must eternally suffer in their lust of the righteous Sony PS2, PS3 and PSP! Salvation can only come through the Son … y

    PS3? 🙂

  • Rage: rage quitting, raging at losing raging at the guy who just took YOUR! bullets, controller throwing, team killing and other things named rage to sound fancy but also called temper tantrums

    Sloth: unwilling to work for anything, plays only on easy every prefering nothing but pushovers where medium difficulty is considered some sort of crazy level of complexity

    Lust: the almost sexual relationship some people have with their console manufacturer, i never knew you could love silicon chip factories so much.

    Greed: Piracy, piracy, piracy, yes you MUST own every game ever, never mind the actual price value of $20 000, its all free.

    Envy: You’re at a LAN and you can cheat so easily with that screen cheat or overhearing the commands being issues through a guys speaker or hear them sneaking up on you, YOU MUST PROVE YOU ARE BETTER THAN HIM, his skill is irrevelant before your might ability to cheat so you are the one to gloat.

    Pride: You have that perfect win streak of 100-0, suddenly you find yourself being beaten back bit by bit, and just before you lose that precious streak you hit the disconnect or power button and denying that cheater their victory.

    Gluttony: all items: yours all resources: yours, all important spots: reserved for you alone and if anyone is to command then it shall be your voice to ring through the VOIP channels

    Xbox 360, please.

  • Well I’m going to list the 7 deadly sins of game development, just to put a twist on it. I’ll even try and tie them into the originals

    (Pride) “Our game is so good you will play it how we decide” Top of the list and probably my biggest hate. Games with giant unskippable cut scenes before each boss fight(capitol crime number one), long overly verbose story dialogue and technology that belongs more in a tech demo than in the game because it adds so little and took so much dev time just to cram in (yes I am looking at you, Bloom addicts) And all too often there is so little actual game-play that you wonder what the studio spent the last 5 years doing. Often the domain of a studio that had a hugely successful first release and thinks this is a god given right to do whatever they want next.

    (Envy) “I wish I’d made that game” This is where designers see another game and wished so much that they had made it that they can’t see beyond their inspiration. The problem with this is they will forever fall in the shadow of their idle, usually producing nothing more than bland lookalikes. These litter the shelves of too many games stores. The Japanese dev community is far too prone to this. There are 10 bazillion final fantasy clones in Japan.

    (Wraith) “Not only do I own a studio, but I am also Markiaveli” The recent Kotaku article on System Shock 2 showed some of the politics that goes on in the industry, but the level of political crap that exists worldwide is truly frighting. Studios hoping that another studio on the same project fails just to make them look good beggars belief. Its no good for the customers, the publishers or the studios, but certain individuals let their own personal vendettas influence entire projects.

    (Sloth) “We can just copy their game” This is not to be mistaken with envy, although sometimes it may appear similar. Envy will try and make a good representation of their idle. Sloth will just look at the bottom line of sales and think “we can jump on that band wagon”, When money is placed higher than creativity, innovation and quality. This is more common in studios run by marketing people rather than creative people and the saddest thing is that this kind of game will NEVER make as much money as the original innovative game it is ripping off.

    (Avarice) “How much can we squeeze out of our players?” Ok so online PC gaming with a subscription, that’s ok I guess I pay to continue to get entertainment. What? wait on? now I pay to subscribe to play online with my console? but I already payed for the console, AND I payed to buy the game, AND I am paying for my net access,AND I paid for the downloadable multiplayer maps, but you want to charge me to get online access to play with someone else?? in a deathmatch game? Aren’t you making enough already? Ah to hell with that, I’ll just buy the version on the other console, you know, the one that doesn’t charge for online play!

    (Gluttony) “The precious..we must haves it” This is less about game developers and more about the system builders. Message to all of you, and yes I am looking at you, Apple, Microsoft, Nintendo, Sony. None of you will ever hold 100% of the market (sorry Mr. Jobs that means you as well) you are all making more money than god and yet it never seems to be enough. You always want more, not realizing that many gamers will own a variety of platforms. I swear if you thought you’d get away with it you’d create machine that auto detected the oppositions hardware and tried to destroy it on site. This is proof positive that you care so little for your customer and just want to fill your own greedy little money bags. I hope you all get fat!

    (Lust) “oh my god I have to have that” This one is aimed at us, the gamers. For crying out loud it’s a game (or a game console) yes I know it’s going to be fun to play, and sometimes VERY rarely their comes a game that is life changingly good (sadly very rare) but please, its really embarrassing to watch us throwing ourselves at games and game producers with some kind of sexual desire as though you have just encountered a super model. Its unnecessary and what’s more gives the developers the feeling they are rock stars and we don’t want to know where that’s going to end up. Apple fans are the worst, you guys really need to get out and date more, but its just as bad with WoW fans and Duke Nukem fans (sorry guys, he really is dead) A little more decorum and dignity and I think we can help some of the misguided developers back on track. Who knows maybe we can start a support group.

    wow that was long winded 😛

    oh yeah X360 by preference, but either is fine.

  • These are the sins of game developers, PS3 please

    Gluttony: making consumers pay for DLC that should be in the game

    Avarice: whoring out the same stuff over and over, ie; Street fighter 2, the PSP

    Wrath: biting the hand that feeds, ie; MW2’s dedicated server debacle

    Pride: Warren Spector. John Romeo. Dennis Dydack. I think you get my point.

    Lust: Female characters used only to attract dateless males

    Envy: “hey, I can be COD4 too”

    Sloth: “fuck it, lets do a quick time event”

  • I’ll take a slightly different tack and say it’s a deadly sin if you haven’t played the following…

    Civilization – The ultimate in strategy and the best part is you can choose to play it in it’s original form (can we say civ-lite) or it’s most recent incarnation Civ 4.

    Legend of Zelda – Ocarina of Time – Yes it’s dated and ugly now but it was/is a masterpiece of gaming goodness and still highly playable today.

    System Shock 2 – The first time I saw a ghost run across the screen I jumped. Real scares. Real suspense.

    Portal – Despite everyone’s love of the WCC I think it’s the devious puzzle factor mixed with a very hidden story that made this a great.

    Diablo 2 – The pinnacle of RSI enducing clickfests. I lost many of my teenage years to this and loaded it up for another run just the other day. Probably the height of addiction.

    Starcraft 2 – Balance. No other RTS has had the level of balance that this gem still has. Yes Blizzard did it again.

    Finally – Spacewar – A seriously old game. It was my first multiplayer game in 2 colours and it even had the option to add a gravity well at the centre of the screen. Yep physics even then. And for those wondering it is considered the first real PC game in 1962 and created by Steve Russell.

    Oh and I take mine green with a 360.

  • AWESOME! i was hoping there would be a comp for this game (Damn moving house means i have to be tight lol)

    Good luck as per usual to everyone!


    1. Graphics-whoring:
    Thou shalt not equate high end graphics and rendering with greatness. Thou shalt know well that true greatness comes from the enjoyment one experiences, not aesthetic qualities.

    2. Glitching
    Thou shalt not gain the upper hand in underhanded ways. Nothing in this world, nor that of the digital, is perfect. Using imperfection to overcome your opponent is cowardly and dishonorable at best.

    3. Hate mongering
    Thou shalt not hate thy developer, thy publisher or thy genre. A true gamer approaches all new things with hope in his heart and does not reduce himself/herself to inflamatory remarks or pathetic boycotts. Today’s villain is tomorrows hero – open mindedness is essential. Judge not least you be judged.

    4. Elitism
    Thou shalt treat all other gamers equally, as all gamers are equal. Thou shalt not make inflamitary racist/sexist remarks, or remarks about a peers mother. Thou shalt not proclaim “n00b”. All gamers, at one time or another, did not possess the skills they possess now. Nurture your team mates so that they too can grow and you may have a trusted ally to go to battle with in any front.

    5. Cry-baby
    Thou shalt not become hostile when fragged. Yelling, screaming and throwing a hissy fit won’t get your points back. If thou wast typing when killed, thou needs a headset. If thou was AFK when fragged, thou should have done so in between spawns. No one likes a cry baby.

    6. Team Killer
    Thou shalt not kill thy team mates. Setting a compatriot aflame, riddling his torso with bullets or turning him to giblets with explosions is never funny. Gamers play team games to experience the thrill of co-operative gameplay against a common enemy. Team killers to fun as what a wood chipper is to a fluffy bunny.

    7. Omittance
    Thou shalt not let thyself or others forget thy roots. Gaming is indeed a broad subject with new games/platforms releasing into this world at a constant rate. Always remember the old with the new. Never forget where you came from, where you started or the joy that gaming first brought to your heart and soul. Losing the memories of gaming past is the greatest sin of all – without our memories of gaming past and innocent fun we will surely eventually loose all that is great to our people.

    Xbox 360 please 🙂

  • >>> Unskippable Cutscenes
    On your second playthrough of a game, knowing the story you are forced to sit through every cut scene again. From the short few seconds, to those that just keep going and going… Usually these are combined with…

    >>> Incorrect Checkpoints
    In many games you will die, but do not put a checkpoint before an unskippable scene, or right in the very middle of a firefight, so when you return to life you don’t get instantly snapped again before you take a step.

    >>> Short Quick Time Event Windows
    Fair enough they give you a second or two, but when the developers expect you to have memorised the combination of button depresses before you even know it’s coming up or before you have played it before is not cricket.

    >>> Cheap Bosses
    Make the game hard by all means, but do not use cheap tactics that suggest the boss is cheating, combined with attack juggling. The boss gets a continuous chained attack on you that you actually can’t even attempt to get out of the way or block.

    >>> Game Retailers
    Get stuffed with your up-selling, I do not want to pay for disc protection, I look after my games and do not require it, I’ve never had to replace a game yet! In the event it was the consoles fault, then I will take it up with the console manufacture and if by chance there is an accidental breakage, I’ll track down a secondhand copy.

    >>> Split Per-Order/Collectors Editions
    Being a wannabe collector of all things great, small and generally lame. Offer the same content to all stores, in the event of multiple SKUs, they stack instead of split.
    Modern Warfare + Aliens vs Predator are 2 of the most recent examples of doing it right, the highest CE contains everything the lower ones did. Assassin’s Creed II did it wrong as the figurine should have been the same in both Black & White versions.

    >>> DLC on Disc
    There is no excuse for this bullshit, if it’s on the disc, then I will not pay to unlock it.


    Console of Choice : PS3

    Here is my problem that relates to number 6… assumption will be that these are not the Death Editions, so as a collector I would not want… but there is a book which would be a good companion to it, so therefore as a collector I need…

    I’m already in my own version of hell here!!!!


    • and for shits and giggles, my version of Lucifer is Bobby Kotick…

      (Michael Atkinson is just too much of an easy target nowdays)

  • 7 Deadly Sins of Video Game Design in no particular order.
    No jump button – No excuse
    Water = Death – Glad to see they fixed that bug in the Animus…
    No dedicated servers – On top of the PS3’s crappy wireless adaptor this makes a lot of games unplayable for me.
    Not adhering to or (even worse) not setting a release date – Will anyone even remember what half-life is when episode 3 is released? Will anyone care? It’s not even a full game!
    Paying extra to unlock content already on the disc – you cheap, cheap bastards.
    Invisible walls – Mimes suck in real-life, why would it be any different in a game?
    Creating awesome adult-themed games while not everyone has a classification scheme that caters for adults – how dare you!
    I have a PS3

  • Caffeine – Something that all gamers have resorted to in order to push themselves for those extra few hours (or more) in order to get the most out of a game. Who cares if you can play it tomorrow, when you can be playing it now!

    Sleeplessness – This comes hand in hand with caffeine, and the all-nighters you throw with mates when a new game comes out and your mission is to complete said game in multiplayer over a single night or weekend, or at least keep playing until you pass out.

    Addiction – Whether it be you spending your working hours (excluding those who work in the industry *hint* Kotaku staff) planning our your nightly WoW raid, or skipping eating dinner with the family every night because you just can’t spend more than 10 minutes away from your computer/console unless it is an absolute necessity; you suffer from gaming addiction.

    Perfection – The chase for perfection is something that will always haunt a true gamer. Whether it is getting to the highest possible level, whether it is getting the best possible win to loss ratio online, or whether it is grinding hours and hours of a terrible game just to get the 1000 gamer score from the title; we all know it is something we cannot hide from.

    Snacking – We all know that when you spend hours playing games, there is a high chance there will be some kind of snack/s involved. Whether it be Doritos with salsa, a slab of your favourite soft drink, or one of the 1kg mega bags of Allen’s Lollies; this is amazing but at the same time a sin. CELERY STICKS FTW!

    Rage – Every gamer has experienced this, it can be as simple as screaming profanities at your television when your grandma is in the next room, to throwing your cordless controller breaking something during the process, to smashing your keyboard against the desk until the keys fall out; all true gamers have experienced the sin that is gamer rage.

    Antisocialism – You can consider yourself being social if you talk with your friends on World of Warcraft a few times a day, but everybody knows you are lying to yourself. The true sin of gaming is antisocialism, and yes if you chose to go on that raid last night with your guild instead of going to your best friends birthday party, that is you.

    Console: Xbox 360

  • 1. Pixels – No matter what the game, they all contain pixels, therefore are limited in what can be shown. A life like object has to be converted in pixels. Nothing is better quality than real life.

    2. Controls – Every game must have controls, whether it be complex or simple. This takes from the experience as we are ‘telling’ ourselves what to press which in-turn tells the game what to do. This extra set of conversion takes from the experience.

    3. Medium – All games must have a form of medium, whether it be DVD, Blu-Ray or downloaded application. This extra form of memory contains many shortcomings. Mostly, how much it can hold.

    4. Code – Xbox 360 or PS3 or BOTH? code is unique to each console so the game will always run differently, sometimes better, sometimes worse.

    5. Creation – Creation as we know takes time, a lot of time, every thing in the game must be created before it is playable. This time costs money, quality, and even failure. IE. Duke Nukem Forever.

    6. Design – Every person enjoys different things, whether it be, level, character or gun designs. Design can make or break a game, some games stick to themes and some intertwine many different designs. There is no one perfect design, it is up to the users preference, which in some cases can affect them game tremendously well. And also tremendously badly. I never enjoyed fallout 3 very much, as I could never appreciate the post-apocalyptic theme. Although the gameplay was very solid.

    7. The End – All things must come to an end, but games have an even shorter life span compared to most things in life. You can never get that first play value back again.

    No idea if this is relevant but eh I gave it a go.
    Xbox 360 (preference)

  • Special Editions – Gaming companies suck you in with the offer of special goodies
    EB – don’t know why, but I can’t help but to go back
    Trade Bait – if I buy a game for the sake of trading it deprives another who actually wants to play it
    Boxing Day – The sales are just too good to resist
    Unlock codes for stuff on disc – one of the worst things a gaming company can do to a gamer
    DLC announced before release of game – reeks of greed
    Game movie tie-ins – cause they usually suck

  • Ten Circles of my gaming hell!

    First Circle (Limbo)
    I don’t know what to buy next!?! Dante’s Inferno, Mass Effect 2, Bayonetta, Bioshock 2, Splinter Cell: Conviction, God of War 3… hell hast no fury for a gamer scorned!

    Second Circle (Lust)
    I lust after a bigger hard drive to install all these new games, 20GB HDD… lower the prices already MS! A 3D LED TV too, he he!

    Third Circle (Gluttony)
    Let all Xbox, PS3 and Wii fanboys have a great big orgy of gaming together give birth to a a HD “Goldeneye” update for all consoles, including PSN!

    Fourth Circle (Avarice or Greed)
    They’re all mine, my precious! Street fighter Tournament Fight-stick, Drums, Mic and 2 Guitars… and also a DJ Deck to spin mixes! MU-HU-HU-HU-HUH!!!

    Fifth Circle (Wrath and Sullenness)
    Metal Gear Solid 4, Uncharted 2, Final Fantasy or any other exclusive not on my Xbox 360!

    Sixth Circle (Heresy)
    Tomb Raider Underworld, fix them controls Edios… do you realise you owe me 5 controllers, a goldfish and a new wall!

    Seventh Circle (Violence)
    Grand Theft Auto 4, every major gaming Vice in one cool game! Cool music, hookers, fast cars, guns, gangsters and play as Niko Bellic, Johnny or Gay ‘Not that there’s anything wrong with it!’ Tony.

    Eighth Circle (Fraud)
    Constant search for JB 3-for-1 trade bait, I am sure we are all guilty of this, ha!

    Ninth Circle (Treason)
    Welcome to the Dark Side Lord Vader, he he! Xbox Soul Calibur! What’s Star wars characters doing in a Soul Calibur game anyhow, Geroge… you’re a sell-out!

    Tenth Circle (Competitive Envy)
    How many of these things have I entered and not a dicky bird! Who ‘judges’ these things… the curse of a thousand leprechauns upon you. I am an Irish-Aussie blaggard so its ok!

    • I would LUST-fully prefer the Xbox 360 inferno, just in case pigs fly! I look forward to reading everyone’s answers, hopefully we all share the same electronic sins!

  • Crates – Ah crates. Is there anything you can’t do? You help us solve puzzles, you give us boosties up to higher ledges, you contain much needed ammo/health and we can place you on weight sensitive switches.

    Invisible Walls – Ooh, a donkey over in that field *THUD*

    Explosive Barrells – This goes hand in hand with dodgy AI. Yes, lets take cover behind explosives. Actually, lets fill our base full of these explosives to take cover behind.

    Attack its’ weak point for Massive Damage (3 times to be precise) – This doesn’t need much explaining, just like it doesn’t need much explaining on what to do when a boss falls over when tired or something, to reveal its’ weak point. And why always 3 times before it’s dead?

    Tutorials – I’m too lazy to read the manual, I need help! After playing 100 FPS games, I’ve all of a sudden forgotten how they work.

    Infinite spawning enemies – How are this many enemies hiding in such a small room? Way to rip off the clown car.

    Time Limits – If your game is boring, add a timer.

    Console: PS3

  • 1. The nag – Trying to find a save point while being reminded by your partner, regularly, that it is late and you have to go to work tomorrow.

    2. Predictability – Producing another FPS with buckets of blood because you know it will sell.

    3. Hypocrisy – Complainly loudly about the lack of originality in games that are left collecting dust on a shelf, while buying another FPS with buckets of blood.

    4. Indefensibility – Hiding behind a non-associative id to aggresively defend a brand using vitriol for no immediately apparent purpose or gain.

    5. Incomprehension – Not understanding the world you dreamed of where everyone is playing video games but they are having fun dancing and playing tennis and not playing your favourite FPS with buckets of blood.

    6. Inexorability – Convinced that the controller that was there when you first started playing video games is the only way that is possible to play video games to maximum enjoyment.

    7. Lackadaisicalness – Declaring something as absolute truth and precisely accurate without preparing to do a simple check on available informational sources; a reference book, historical magazine or even a quick check on the internet.

    Console: Xbox 360

  • 1) Pron: For spelling this word correctly shall shatter the fabric of ones kingdom.
    2) Forums: It shalt devour the users sanity, life and soul.
    3) Online Adverts: You wang will forever be short.
    4) The Sims: A life of pixels shall be your undoing.
    5) MMOs: Destroyer of harmony.
    6) Facebook: Thou shalt not Farmville.
    7) The Cake: For it is a lie!

    PS3 User 😀

  • The deadly sins of the gaming industry:

    Pride – Over-hyping up-coming games as the next big thing, only to fail to deliver on all of their boasts.

    Envy – Releasing poor clones of successful games after seeing another developer strike gold with an original or well made game.

    Wrath – Releasing games with crippling DRM that only inconveniences paying customers while doing nothing substantial to curb piracy.

    Sloth – Where are Duke Nukem Forever, Half-Life 2 Ep 3 and a sequel to Portal??

    Avarice – Wild price disparities between regions and physical versus digital versions of games. Charging excessive prices for trivial bits of DLC, or content that “should have been on the disc”. Does their greed know no bounds?

    Gluttony – Um… OK so I’m not really sure how this one applies to the game industry, but I’m sure they’re sitting there stuffing their faces while getting up to all this other junk! Yes, that should stick.

    Lust – Creating games that place more importance on jiggle physics and panty shots than any kind of substance or gameplay.

    But then on the other hand, without all these things the gaming community would have nothing to bitch about, so where’s the fun in that?

    PS3 please.

  • These are my 7 deadly sins of gaming that I (usually) manage to avoid.

    1. Gotta catch em all complex – The compulsive need to catch every Pokémon, collect every feather and unlock every achievement ultimately destroying your desire to ever touch the game again.
    2. Video game pr0n – Whether it is Tifa or Lara…. It is just not right
    3. Game Guides – Why would you want to find out Bruce Willis is the ghost before you even watch the movie?
    4. Dating somebody from a MMO – Enough said?
    5. Health Poaching – I’m burning, I’m burning…. Look a health pack…. Did you just take that health pack when you were on 90% while I burn to death in front of your eyes…? Oh yes you did…. /dead
    6. I’m busy – Your common excuse to not go out with friends, trying to get in Jack’s pants in Mass Effect 2 does not constitute as busy.
    7. Uber rage – The process of chucking a gaming peripheral (mouse, keyboard, controller or monitor) in a moment of pure game related rage.

    Preference: PS3

  • These seven things doth the pro gamer hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:

    Arrogance: for you too were once a noob and you didn’t like having it rubbed in your face.

    Wrath: the controllers, TVs, monitors and even your friends are all innocent. It is you who has lost the game. Don’t get angry, get even. Beat the bastard next time around.

    Sloth: yes, the game has an easy difficulty. You know you will blitz through it without any troubles. Why not try the hard mode and play the game as the developers want you to. Better yet, try it in the hardest difficulty and prove your devotion to gaming.

    Censorship: so you could cut heads off of people and carry them around in Aliens vs Predator. What do you expect Predators to do? Invite people around to dinner parties and bring out the fine china? If it’s tolerable to have such violence in TV and movies, it’s tolerable to have it in games.

    Distraction: there is a real world out there. However, it can wait until you’ve finished the game. So hurry up and get to the next checkpoint.

    Greed: people have bought the video game once. Don’t release a new edition of the same game with an extra level or two that’s exclusive to that edition. People don’t want to buy the game a second time, and trying to get them too but creating edition exclusive content is just money mongering. While we’re on the topic, if you’ve developed DLC for a game before the game has gone gold, then put into the freaking game. Collector’s editions are great though.

    Reading the manual: if you’re the sort of person that reads the manual, chances are you’ve got a idiots guide to reading manuals somewhere. Toughen up and just play the game, it’ll tell you what to do.

    Playstation 3

  • Gluttony – EA’s past ravenous appetite for franchises and developers (at least nowdays they’re mostly keeping the ones they gobble up)
    Lust – Any character voiced by Jennifer Hale. Mmm Halealicious
    Greed – Activision and the Hero games, same thing over and over trying to scrape money out of every person possible
    Sloth – Every licensed game relying on the name rather than the product to sell (though I might as well have just said “Every licenced game other than Batman Arkham Asylum”)
    Wrath – Bobby Kotick, seems he lives off the hatred of the internet
    Envy – Every game that ripped off GTA3 or God Of War
    Pride – 3D Realms, obviously

    Version: Xbox 360 please

  • Im gonna take this as the 7 sins that will land you in a gamers hell and the punishements for each.

    1. Releasing a Buggy Game – There is no excuse to released a half cooked game, give it 100% or dont try.
    Punishment – To be a game tester on a game that is never bug free or finished.

    2. Elitism – No gamer should think they are superior to another for no good reason, and no gamer should treat others as if they are lesser.
    Punishement – Always having slightly worse items, equipment or skill and being on Xbox Live chat without a Mic with 12 yr olds.

    3 .The “Leeroy Jenkins” – Being a jerk and ruining a game for everyone else, just because you can.
    Punishment – Always being stuck in a loading screen.

    4. Sore Loser – No need to lose your dignity when you lose a game.
    Punishment – Being spawn camped…..for eternity

    5. Limited save spots/check points – Dont punish a gamer for getting killed by a stone to the face when he just successfully killed 3 dragons, a demon and jesus.
    Punishment – A check point that is ALWAYS out of reach, like an oasis in a desert.

    6. Shameless clone – Just because Halo is awesome doesnt mean you can clone it, change the name and think you are a genius.
    Punishment – Every original idea you have has already been done.

    7. Retailers overcharging for games – “RRP” of $110 at one retailer and $89 at another, dont rip of people who arent as savvy as some.
    Punishment – Always having $1 less than you need to buy everything, forever.

    Console: PS3

  • Behold, the Seven Deadly Sins of the Online Gamer:

    1: Lag. If thou hath a crappy internet connection, or art clogging thy bandwidth using the Torrent of the Bits, you shalt be unable to frag your fellows. Thou shalt also screw up the game of all other players. Pick a new match or get better Tubes.

    2: Camping. Should you be such a player that finds the nooks and crannies of a map, take thy shot. Then leave. Be not the player who stays in one place and will not leave, lest ye draw the wrath of those who would knife you from behind to end your cheap kills.

    3: Spawn Killing. The killer of the newly spawned player is lower than the lowest slug in Hell, and all points earned as such shall be taken from you thrice times thrice when your final Game is Over.

    4: Glitching. Exploit not the code the programmers hath wrought, for whilst it may contain more holes than a n00b in the open, it pleaseth not the Gods of Gaming. To the Gods, to use the glitches is to sully their gifts from up high.

    5: Flaming. It is written that conversation elevates man from the beasts. This truth is inverted whenever one calls their opponent a fag!1, mocks the console of your enemy or fills the Chat of the Game with cruelty, stupidity or CAPS.

    6: Mic Spam. The side of thy mic has a button. This machination allows for one to temporarily stop the flow of sound to your fellows. Your recordings of minstrels, thy crying babe, even the electric telephone – all can remain thy own business, and not the business of your teammates.

    7: The most deadly of sins – Hax. This dark, insidious power is the focus of many evil covens, whom seek to use the power of ones and zeros to terrible consequences. Should a gamer be tempted by the Beast and enhance their weapons, their battlefield knowledge or their power, they should be taken afar and dismemebered. Their thumbs should be severed, their Mountain Dew be dispersed and their Gamerscore or Trophycount be smote down to Zero.

    Thus are the Seven Deadly Sins of Online Gaming, as recounted to me by the Gods of Gaming themselves. Read them and tremble, and may the Server Mods protect you from the Darkness.

    (console: PS3)

  • 1. Ramboism – I don’t care how awesome you are, you need to work together. If you run off you will die, then your team will die, then your team mate(s) will hit you over the head with their controller(s)

    2. Redundancy Collecting – You’ve got 300 bullets, your team mate has 20. They may be shiny, but they’re not for you.

    3. Glitching – Everyone in the game is there for fun, you are, they are. Everyone also watches YouTube. That doesn’t mean that performing the glitch you saw on YouTube is fun for everyone.

    4. DJism – Man, I really dig that new Lady Gaga vs George Michael remix track aswell! Hearing it played through your microphone mid-game? Not so much.

    5. Karaoke – Similar to DJism, except Lady Gaga and George Michael get paid to sing.

    6. Text-to-Speech – The use of internet terms such as ‘LOL’ are there for short hand when you don’t have a lot of time to type. That doesn’t mean you should use them in spoken sentences. I can hear you, I know you’re not Laughing Out Loud.

    7. Pot Publicity – Really? You just smoked a joint?! Man, smoking pot is great! You know what you should do? You should keep talking about pot and how awesome it is! You’re a real rebel, and people should know about it!

  • The Seven Deadly sins.

    If you are the Sheppard thou shalt not fornicate with the flock without MASSive EFFECT 2 it

    Thou shalt not heft thy nades without knowledge of their destination

    Thy Tea bag shall be dipped in porcelain and not the open maw of a downed opponent.

    Only through prayer in the name of thy ISP, the holy son, shall thou ensure the constant and stable connection with the god of the interwebs

    Thy kill cam portrays enough.

    Thou shalt accept thy game as is… Developers work in mysterious ways and DLC rewards the patient man

    Thy Gayness is dependant on thyne actions in the bedchamber and not the interwebs…


    • +1 for keeping me giggling all the way along

      +2 for rhyming

      -1 for almost painful mass effect 2 slip in

      however very entertaining overall

  • The version I would want would be a ps3 copy.

    The 1st vice in video games to me would be to would be re-enacting real life tragic events. Games such as “Super Columbine Massacre RPG” and the upcoming “Six days in Fallujah” have you re-living horrible events in the comfort and safety of your sofa. Why make a game where you control someone who murdered innocent fellow students and better yet why play them. There should be a certain level of respect for such tragedies and making a game on it just takes away the seriousness of the subject matter. And the latter game I mentioned, its not the 1st time a battle re-enactment has been in a video game but this battle happened just years ago and its too soon to put that in the game. It really takes away of the soldiers who sacrificed their lives, to be playing as them really makes you forget the seriousness of it all. There really shouldn’t be games based on such horrible moments.

    Another deadly sin would be too much sex and nudity. There’s just no need for this. There was never a game that needed sex to advance the story in anyway. Games like Dante’s Inferno and even my favorite game god of war fall victim to this silly sin. Most of the time it feels forced just to get attention and sell more copies. Some people like me go to games to get away from the stress and temptations of this world and sex is something that is everywhere. I would like to relax and play a game and not see nudity for once in my life. I have a girlfriend and don’t need to see all this sex in games ; they have porn sites and dvds that show plenty of nudity, hell they even have some pretty intense sex scenes on tv in a little show called “niptuck”. Developers need to realize that its pretty meaningless and ditch this trend.

    Excessive violence and torture is a vice that’s very common in today’s games. The problem with this is that it kind of glamorizes and makes you enjoy what would normally be considered as taboo. Games like manhunt where u suffocate your prey and then smash their head in with a bat or a game like ninja gaiden where the blood and gore is so over the top is just so damn fun that you don’t even realize that your slowly becoming a bloodthirsty button pusher. It just seems like games try to put as much violence and blood as possible and that’s where the problem lies… to always want more of something. Stabbing someone isn’t enough, theses days you gotta chop off limb by limb from your enemy to finally kill him or it.

    4th vice in the gaming underworld is online cheating or glitching. While your workin your ass off trying to get a killstreak the proper way, theres always some douche who just has to resort to unfair techniques. Not only is it disrespectful to the other gamers but its also disrespectful to the developers who made the game to be played a certain way in which everyone has a fair shot. It kind of discourages you when you finish the day on MW2 with a kill / death ratio of 5:1 the right way and then you look at the leaderboard and you see thousands of people above you with inhuman stats, like 1,000,000 kills and 100 deaths. That’s a slap in the face and they need to stop and work to be on top just ike most people.
    Motion Control is also a thing that should not be when talking about games. I’ve had enough of seeing 50 “fitness” and “Interactive” sports games coming out every week that have absolutely zero innovation. And what bothers me even more is how people are eating this whole “motion gaming” era up. Sony and Microsoft are now seemingly being forced to try to put this in their systems because of how many people are buying those types of games. True gamers don’t wanna swing our arms around like a kid swinging a fake lightsaber, we wanna sit down and enjoy a game’s story and truly connect with the protagonist. Its an experience deeper than what motion controls can give.
    6th vice is religion. It always seems to draw so much negative attention when any form of religion, no matter how small, is somehow connected with a video game and this can be good publicity but it can also backfire horribly. It’s a very personal and touchy topic that I think should be avoided all together. Religion is something that goes deeper than just good and evil so its hard to center a game around creed effectively and make it fun.
    And finally the last vice, the syndrome of trying to make a game to realistic. A game in essence is supposed to be a simple thing but lately the amount of stuff the developers add to make a game more life-like is ridiculous. Some games benefit from this but in most games its just a nuisance and useless. One of the games that fails at this is GTA 4, do I really want to go to a coffee shop just to check my email for a mission, do I have to constantly check my phone inbox to make sure I didn’t miss an important call?? No I don’t because I deal with all these things in my actual life so why do I want to do these annoying things in a game that I play to escape my stress filled life.

  • Health – Playing for hours a day on a large TV in a small room will make your eyes feel like they’ll start to bleed. Then there’s the lack of ergonomics for some controllers, or maybe my hands are too big… Not to mention being too indulged in a game to not get lunch or even water.

    Wealth – We all love games. We don’t have much money. When we DO get money, we buy a game, and we’re back to having no money.

    Hype – Every game to be released is “the best” and introduces “all new gameplay mechanics”. We play them and discover they’re just overpriced collaborations of past popular games.

    Ratings – For us Aussies, this system is making everything screwed up. Teens are playing games they shouldn’t be, adults are blocked from games they should be allowed to play, and games are being banned when worse games have been accepted.

    Hardware – New games are constantly amazing, offering ground breaking visuals or innovative gameplay. When delivered, we must buy new hardware, whether it be a new console or new video card, we gamers MUST have them.

    Success – We’ve seen it all the time. When a game is hugely successful, clones and rip-offs are usually inevitable.

    Lies – We want our cake.

    Xbox 360 (Preference)

  • I present to you, THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS OF GAMING!!! (You must read it in an evil voice)

    1- Treachery: Team killing will send you to the first hellish circle. A land of utter horror as visions of your closest companions torture your very soul.
    2- Teabag: For all the tea baggers of gaming; one only prays he does not end up in this circle. An eternity of tea bagging for your sins.
    3- Cheat: Here you will never escape the hurt your screen cheating and cheat codes have caused.
    4- Rigs: All those whom have come across the beast of gaming itself; Big Rigs. All those dammed to this circle suffer an eternity of terrible physics and grammatical errors.
    5- Theft: For those who have purchased pirated games in their lifetime. Yes, it may feel great to have all the games you ever wanted for a fraction of the cost, but that will not help you in the fifth circle of hell as you ‘burn’ (get it) til’ the end of time.
    6- Trade: The sixth circle of hell offers a cozy seat to all those whom have participated in any trade in deal at EB games. The punishment?! You have just traded in your soul to the devil…. For $20 off your next console purchase.
    7- Atkinson: The deepest and most hellish circle of them all. For all those whom have supported Michael Atkinson suffer an eternity of Wii tennis with the devil of gaming himself.

    PS3 user. Thanks

  • 7 deadly sins of gaming…

    pride – your gamerscore.
    envy – someones higher gamerscore which you MUST beat at ALL costs…
    wrath – Rage quitting then screaming at players on vent in anger.
    sloth – turning on your console and sitting down on your couch to realise that your girlfriend has been playing a different game to the one you left in your machine… but you play it anyway because you cant be stuffed getting off the couch again…
    avarice – modern warfare 2
    gluttony – mass consumption of imported candies/soft drink…
    lust – Lara Croft.

  • 1.Red ping rate in online gaming – Australia needs get out of the stone age with it’s internet speed and catch up to the rest of the world, I’m sick of having to shoot someone three times before I kill them (and thats if I’m lucky)

    2.Dodgy “special edition” game merch – For example; Street Fighter 4 – Two crappily painted figures and a supposed “mini strategy guide/art book,” 4 pages of shit that looks like it could have come out of a cereal box all for an over inflated price, (the dvd was cool though ^_^)

    3.Having to pay 800 microsoft points to change your online handle on xbox live – pretty self explanatory, used to squeeze more cash out of poor saps who quickly chose a username so they could start their online play

    4. Censorship – Thanks to our old pal Michael Atkinson, some old scare mongering douche who wants to tell us what we can and can’t play as adults, making Australia the joke of the world gaming community (Go G4C by the way!)

    5. Trade in rates at game stores – for anyone thats ever traded in a game knows that it’s fucking highway robbery

    6. No publisher for No More Heroes Paradise in Australia, I mean come on, that is blasphemy!

    7. Bad movie tie in games – Everyone knows that movie games generally suck and are usually just a marketing ploy to dupe ignorant gamers out of cash using there love of a movie against them

    Console: Xbox 360

  • 360 version please

    1. Not owning Ico or Shadow of the Colossus: two titles that any self-respecting gamer should have in their collection. Taking one or both to cuddle in bed is optional.

    2. The cut scene that won’t pause: The stress this causes is immense, as interruptions such as visitors, a phone call or just a call of nature will always happen JUST at a cool cut scene moment.

    3. Multiplayer-only achievements: No, Mr. Developer, I don’t have any friends. I don’t like playing online with 8 minutes of lag, so please ditch all those MP achievements so I can get hard over my 1000/1000 games.

    4. Nolan North: for Pete’s sake get someone else to voice characters.

    5. The industry’s pitiful fear of memory space: 20gigs? Really? Or like 13 that you can actually access. This is slowly getting better, but is a sin nonetheless.

    6. Australian voice-overs: part of the reason that I play games is to escape reality, not to hear some vowel-widening character who sounds like the Telstra computer voice lady.

    7. Massive demos: there’s nothing worse than taking nine hours to download a 2GB demo, just to find that it only lasts for three minutes. And all you got to see was the tutorial.

  • In terms of the Call of duty Franchise

    Gluttony: Thanks to Infinity Ward, we had WWII games left right and center, with BFBC,Medal of Honor, expect an over saturation of Modern Warfare games.

    Lust- Thanks to MW2,the lust for a nuke has come to the point where objective games should be called “Team Death match with flags and unlimited time”.

    Greed- Remember the ol’ care package? Well thanks to MW2, it should be called “noob bait”.

    Sloth- Remember the said “noob-bait”? Yeah, well thanks to MW2 there is more the reason to kill team mates in Hardcore Team deathmatch.

    Wrath- Thanks to Cod4,Waw and MW2, killing campers couldn’t of been any harder, as we try to end their killing-streaks, they laugh in our face as they cut off all avenues to their death with Bouncing Betties+Claymores.

    Envy- Thanks to MW2, Even 13 year olds can look like bigshots and have other 13 year olds envy them, with a title like “Chick Magnet” and an emblem of marijuana, who wouldnt?

    Pride- “It’s just a game”, we always hear this nice saying, but thanks to CoD Multiplayer, the saying is no more, watch your pride as a gamer deteriorate as you scream endlessly into the mic whether it is against a 14 year old saying how he “did ur mumma” or telling off the clueless American’s explaining that we do not ride on Kangaroo’s.

    An Xbox 360 version would be nice 🙂

  • pride – charging into battle like rambo instead of following the rest of your team’s plans

    envy – comparing e-penis… I mean gamerscores

    wrath – mercilessly spawn camping newbies

    sloth – boosting for achievements instead of earning them legitimately

    avarice – wasting $150 on collector’s editions that have content with a value of $1.50

    gluttony – buying every crappy kids game ever made just to get more achievements

    lust – sending friend requests to someone b/c their gamertag has a girly name and their gamerpic is that chick from perfect dark

  • Seven deadly sins of Video Gaming,

    WoW – This would fit into the greed category, Apart from churn out WoW expansions what has Blizzard done for us, Where is my Diablo III!.
    Duke Nukem Forever – I think this would go into every category in some way.
    Bioware – Lust, Pride and Envy, For being the masters of RPGS and sucking all the spare hours of my life away.
    Halo – Sitting nicely in Pride but also Sloth, Greed and Gluttony.
    Grand Theft Auto – As with Duke Nukem fit’s into all categories but at least it’s actually out.
    ET on the Atari 2600 – Wrath, being the worst game ever created
    Pacman – Gluttony is obvious but also mixed with Pride and Envy

  • Pride: My platform is best
    Envy: The game is being released on other platforms but not mine
    Wrath: My feeling on the game not coming to my platform of choice
    Sloth: Reason for why the game isn’t coming to my platform
    Avarice: Motive behind the blatant misuse of a classic.
    Gluttony: The reason I want this game to come to my platform
    Lust: My feeling towards the platforms that are getting this game.

    Oh, you want my platform preference? PC…

  • 7 sins of my experience of Army of Two: The 40th Day

    Lust: The desire to play another game that doesn’t only have 2 sweaty, male characters.

    Gluttony: Eating the popcorn I was throwing at the TV in disgust when I beat the game.

    Greed: Letting an evil Russian rape a young woman by taking the $40,000 bribe.

    Sloth: The slackness of the enemy A.I who can’t bother moving when I’m right in front of them.

    Envy: Seeing my friends online playing Mass Effect 2 while I’m stuck with this crud.

    Pride: Figuring out that you have to shoot the back of the chain-gun guy to kill him.

    Wrath: Killing the Shanghai civilians who sold me the faulty Playstation.

  • (Preference: 360)

    Daniel spends all night playing Modern Warfare 2 on Steam. He loves it. He totally hit that fa***t in the eye with his knife on purpose. At two am he falls asleep to the drumming of Modern Warfare 2’s menu music. But his sleep is disturbed by strange dreams. He is in a desert. He is standing at attention. He is guarding something, but he isn’t sure what. His legs do not seem to be working.
    “Hey David.” It’s the Sergeant. “We gotta talk.”
    “What is it, sir?”
    “Some of the boys say you were playing MW2 online last night.”
    “Yessir. I totally killed this fa***t motherf****r with a leet knifethrow.”
    “It says in your profile that you joined five separate “Boycott MW2 on PC!” communities on Steam. Is this true, soldier?”
    “Well all my friends were joining them and…”
    “This is totally unacceptable, soldier. Your entire Steam game library is banished to gaming hell! Also, you’re still gay, right? Don’t worry. Don’t ask don’t tell, right?”
    Dave wakes with a scream. He checks Steam. Sure enough, his library is empty. Except for one game:
    Gate of Gaming Hell.exe
    Dave double clicks and finds himself thrust into Gaming Hell, where he must traverse the seven sins of gaming, each with their own circle in gaming hell, before he can reclaim his game library and return to the land of the living where he can frag those noob f****ts. The tortured bleeps Dreamcasts and Virtua Boys, the ghostly echoes of noob in headsets and perpetual damnation, surround him as he travels through:

    1. Crate: The damned gamer is surrounded by wooden crates of all shapes and sizes. He hits them with his crowbar. Some break easily, but some take up to twenty swings. He has no way of knowing when any one crate will give in, but he breaks them all, one after the other, just in case this one has ammo, just in case that one has health. Two crates look the same. After what feels like a lifetime and bloodied, blistered hands, Daniel decides one is invincible. He continues, but it nags at his mind. What if it just needed one more hit…

    2.Black or White: Daniel is told he must go left or right. But he can see a simpler path straight ahead, down the middle. “No!” screams an ominous, infamous voice. “There is no middle ground! You can only choose completely, utterly this way, or completely, utterly that way!”

    3.Unmapped Sandbox: Daniel next finds himself in a vast, fantastical land, as large as a medieval country. He finds a map, but it is as small as a thumbnail. It doesn’t even tell him where he is.

    4.Silence, Protagonist!: Daniel eventually finds a land of cute villagers (demonic villagers in disguise, no doubt!). He tries to ask for directions, but he finds he cannot speak. They ask him who he is. When he doesn’t answer, they decide he is the strong silent type. They ask him rhetorical questions, forcing him to give unspoken answers he would never agree to. He does things that he would never admit to, things he is ashamed of. But the villagers are so cute, so witty in their rhetoric, how can he refuse? Only his pain can be heard.

    5.Cutscene, Cutscene, Cutscene: Daniel takes a step into the next level, but is forced to stop until he watches what feels like a lifetime of exposition. “A lifetime of exposition?!” he claims, re-discovering his voice. “Yes, a lifetime of exposition, he is told.” He cannot find a way around the film. It just keeps going, no matter how much he desires to progress. Eventually it is over. He takes a step, only to be hammered by a nearly identical film. “A nearly identical film?!” Yes, Daniel, damned gamer, a nearly identical film.

    6.Unbalanced Volume: In the next circle, Daniel’s ears bleed, they feel like they are shredded, as gunfire and explosions roar around him. He turns down the volume and continues, comfortable for a while. Then a man, perhaps the sergeant from his dream, appears beside him, tells him something. But he cannot hear. The volume is too low. And then the vision is gone. Was it real? Did what he say matter? Daniel will never know.

    7.Checkpoint: There! As he enters the next level, Daniel can see his game library, right in front of him. But he is impatient. He takes a step and plummets into the crevasse. He screams as he falls.

    Then he awakens, surrounded by crates, back in the first circle. He never saved his progress.
    Daniel screams, but the crates don’t have ears, only nails.

  • The 7 Sins of Multiplayer Video Games:

    1. Team Killing: Thou must not look a gift horse in the ass. Neither must thou should them in the back.

    2. Screen Cheating: Thou shalt not cheat by reading others’ screens, for thy shall be put to death for doing so.

    3. Playing Music over Microphone: Thou shalt not demean others with thy crap.

    4. Idling: Whether thou are idling for items, or just AFK, thou must not stay in game for over a minute unmoving without good reason.

    5. Porn Sprays: Thou must not spread thy fetishes. Pervert.

    6. Refusing to go through Puberty: Thou must not squeak and scream profanity for killing thyself.

    7. Hacking: Thou shalt obey the rules, not rewrite them.

  • 1. Sequels/Prequels/Sidequels/Franchises – The idea of recapturing the experience of a great game is very alluring, but the powerful franchise may suck the soul from even the best titles, and often at the expense of fresh and new experiences.
    2. Fad Technology – the allure of 3D and Motion Controlled gaming is strong for companies, but do gamers really want to fling themselves around their living room or wear a silly pair of glasses and invest in an expensive new monitor to play?
    3. Tiny Text – Sure, most people have HD TV’s and monitors now, but what about those people who dont?
    4. The minigame – a great way to simulate activities like hacking or unlocking, but too much repetition can be painful.
    5. Mediocre movie tie ins – The opportunity to create some truly rich and memorable gaming experiences to complement a good film is so often wasted due to rushed titles.
    6. Sparse save points – Unfortunately most of us don’t have an infinite amount of time to play. If a gamer needs or wants to stop playing, they should be able to do so without having to wander around for another hour or so (Lost Odyssey I’m looking at you).
    7.Day-after-release DLC – Trying to sell me something that could have been easily put in the game in the first place is bad business.

  • The seven deadly sins of gaming:

    1. Dark Sector
    2. Dark Messiah Might and Magic: Elements
    3. Perfect Dark: Zero
    4. Alone in the Dark
    5. Darkest of Days
    6. Operation Darkness
    7. Dark Void

    They may look tempting. The imagery that the word ‘dark’ conjures up in your mind may be seductive. They may be a prequel to one of your favourite games. Be warned; if you ever see them on the shelf, even at a reduced price, leave them alone for your soul will be forfeit if you succumb…

    Preference: Xbox 360 please.

  • Gluttony – Thou shall not sit in the one throne for an eon with World of Warcraft, eating chicken.

    Lust – Thou shall not fiddle thine diddle during hours of Bayonetta play.

    Greed – Thou shalt not create ISK market crashing schemes in Eve Online.

    Sloth – Thou shalt not let thine kingdom be surrounded by empty Jolt vials and Dominoes containers.

    Wrath – Thou shalt not hammer toss thine controller at thine telemachineamatron.

    Envy – Thou shalt not covert thy fellow gamer, no matter how royale his ‘Season 8 Arena gear’ appears.

    Pride – Thou shalt not dance in the Orgrimmar town square in thine ‘Season 8 Arena gear’.

  • Pride: I happen to think Chou Aniki is a pretty decent game.

    Envy: The R&D involved in making a game like Rapelay

    Wrath: Coming from Atkinson and governemnt when they see my first 2 entries.

    Sloth: Dude, I play Video Games, that’s Sloth/Frowned upon enough as it is.

    Avarice: Must carry 6,000,000 plus souls to reach final level 750 somthing is Demon’s Souls.

    Gluttony AND Lust: Playing Dead or Alive Extreme. “wanna play volley ball”?
    “Wanna jump on floaties and see some awesome Ingham Chicken Breast Fillet…I mean Physics”??
    Hells YEAH !!
    “Wanna head over to the Casino??”
    Hells NO !

  • Pride: “F**k yes, did you see me shoot that guy?! right in the NADS! Did you? Did you see it!?”

    Envy: “Man, I wish I had that ATI Radeon HD 4870 in MY pc.”



    Avarice: “I did just win a new shield… but that 2H would look SO good on me!”


    Lust: “Why does everything she wear instantly turn into a bikini?”

    Console – Xbox360

  • Gluttony – Buying a $100 Wii shovelware of Puzzle Bobble just because you have the money. As my brother did.

    Lust – Marrying a video game character. It’s sad, and only in Japan.


    Sloth – Not making a game for fifteen years *coughDukeNukemForevercough*

    Wrath – A game so addictive or competitive that you would stab somebody over it, like the two men over Age of Conan.

    Envy – Holding up a game store in a armed robbery, facing a long stretch in jail… just for some Call of Duty 4 that you don’t have.

    Pride – Spending three months of your life farming Achievements such as Gears of War 2’s Seriously 2.0… and then thinking you’re the best player on the planet for being a boosting douche.

  • Lemmings (pride) : NO! You shall all make it out alive or you shall all die!

    Lemmings (envy) : Besides that their hair is green. Green with envy at my ability to control their lives! I’m still annoyed that i can’t dig through ground with my bare hands with as much ease as them.

    Lemmings (wrath): THATS IT! NUKE. ALL.

    Lemmings (sloth) : yeah, thats it. You guys do all the work for me

    Lemmings (avarice) : Keep mining you cretins! If you don’t find me any gold within the next hour its the nuke button for the lot of you!

    Lemmings (gluttony) : Oh man, these things taste good with paprika. And theres just so many of them.

    Lemmings (lust) : Well its not like no one else has ever fantasized what they look like underneath those blue costumes…

    PS3 please!

  • The Gamer 7 deadly sins. (or Rules of the Fanboy)

    The seven sins a Gamer must not do or they become a fanboy.

    1. Controller Preference – Bag the other console controller because it

    uncomfortable or stupidly desgined and the controller on you console of

    choice is the greatest controller ever made.

    2. 1337 Sp33k – ON3 mU5T 4lW4Y2 T4lK 1n l33t To 5hOW HOw 4w35Om3 u 4Nd T3h

    koN5O13 U ROOt PHoR 12.

    3. Trash Talking – THe only way to get on top is to put others down

    4. Swearing – The real f*cking way to get you motherf*cking point across is

    to god damn motherf*cking sh*t a** b*tch swear a whole f*cking bunch.

    5. Stats – In every argument bring out fake or un confirmed stats on the

    failure rate or sales or whatever of your favourite and the opposing


    6. Exclusives – The exclusives of your console are ALWAYS better then the

    other consoles.

    7. Conversions – Persuade the non believers to your console of choice and

    boast loudly and proudly the features of your console of choice.

    Xbox360 please 🙂

  • Pride – people who HAVE to be insufferable know-it-alls playing on multiplayer games. Especially the ones on voice chat.

    Envy – people who just HAVE to flame players who are obviously far better than them.

    Wrath – people who HAVE to throw their controllers at the wall when they can’t get past something. Chill out and come back to it later.

    Sloth – people who just can’t catch on with the games quickly enough. Sure, it’s your first time playing, but seriously… that button makes you jump.

    Greed – people who pirate.

    Lust – people who HAVE to start loving characters in their games. Example: Sephiroth.

    Gluttony – everything in Australia is overpriced! But yes, overpriced games.

    PS3 version, please.

  • 1. Slow loading screens (Smackdown VS Raw)
    2. Poor gameplay (ET)
    3. Saints Row 2 (ENVY)
    4. Dante’s Inferno (ENVY)

    5. Greed (Guitar Hero, Tiger Woods PGA Tour) same thing year after year usually.

    6. Dating someone virtually

    7. Watching alien sex in mass effect 2

  • 1. World of Warcraft
    – A deep and deadly sin, whereby the gamer is convinced they are paying for a good game and proceed to waste their lives wandering around pathetically animated worlds hitting level caps stupidly early on and somehow believing that what they are playing has anything to do at all with the original Warcraft games. To those that hack their copies and play on private servers – seriously, if you couldn’t find a better game to hack and play for free, that in its own rights should be a mortal sin.

    2. “Realistic” War based FPS games
    – A horrible sin whereby Gaming Studios convince gamers using flashy cover art and catchy names that they are playing a game that is infinitely better than the last itteration of the exact same game. If they succeed in their quest, they often don’t even need to improve graphics or controls – they just need to add new maps and guns. (Which used to be something as simple as an update patch back in the good old days… *sighs*)

    3. Pokemon games beyond Yellow edition
    – A baffling sin where gamers are told that the number of species of creatures on the planet is increasing and that some species just no longer exist. Those gamers who have sinned beyond the cuteness of yellow edition and have not realised that the vast majority of the original 151 pokemon are long since extinct will one day wake up and wail in pain at their pokedexs.

    4. Dance Dance Revolution
    – A guilty pleasure of a sin whereby Gamers are convinced that they are not only fit but that they can actually dance. The true depths of this sin only become apparent when said gamers go to night clubs and request DDR songs and then proceed to use the DDR steps on the dancefloor.

    5. Games with no international release/version
    – A sin crafted in the heart of avarice, cooked in the brain of greed, and served on the thorny platter of desire. Producers develop incredible games for certain regions/countries, show off the incredible gameplay and graphics to the world and then tell us, the tempted gamers, that the game will never see the light of day in our language.

    6. Iphone games
    – Considered a small sin by some, but a grave one by all. In this sin, the gamer is convinced that they have paid good money for an entertain game, whereas in truth they have paid for something that is less entertaining that naughts and crosses. To further this sin, the gamer is somehow also convinced that their overpriced pathetic attempt at a handheld device is actually capable of playing games more complicated than anything possible with a pen and paper.

    7. Project natal
    – An amusing sin whereby a gamer flings their arms around wildly simulating a strange ritualistic dance trying to summon crazy beasts and looking to all onlookers like they are having an epileptic fit and possibly require psychiatric evaluation. It remains one of the gravest of all of the 7 deadly sins of gaming because it can be easily remedied by playing on a controller… or a keyboard… or any medium which does not require you to flail your arms about like a drunk chicken.

    PS3 please~

  • 1. Fanboyism
    Whether its in a forum, on a comment under an article or in person, fanboyism is the greatest of all gamer sins, no more obvious is your lacking intelligence and legitimate opinion than when you go around claiming ‘Halo is teh best game EVAR! PS3 sucks!’

    2. Addiction
    Every gamer goes through this in some form but true addiction is seen only in the most socially inept of gamers, people who replace reality with virtual reality, forsaking health, family, friends and even happiness for that next big score, achievement point or epic loot drop.

    3. Rage
    In games you fail, in some you fail alot and never is it more obvious you should be setting aside the controller than when you are about to throw it at your screen because of how much failing you’ve been experiencing.

    4. Griefing
    Funny for the giver, rage inducing for the receiver. Some people just love to ruin other peoples fun and their will never be a bigger sign of how much of a douche you are than when you go around killing the enemy team with just a knife because you’ve worked out an exploit to do so without ever dying.

    5. Abuse
    Most prominent on consoles, every older/more mature gamer has had to put up with the children who enjoy using the n and c words constantly.

    6. Noobery
    Some people just plain suck at games, and some even play poorly on purpose. Noobs are always around when you’re online and they will always ruin your chances of victory and destroy your ability to have fun.

    7. Elitism
    Guild leaders, clan leaders or simple addicts who play too much; people who think of themselves as superior to everyone else. They may very well be highly skilled at one or more games but when they start spamming ‘lol lrn2playnoob’ over and over you really wish you could punch them through your screen.


  • I coincidently overheard this the other day whilst at confession

    Unnamed Big Time Game Producer: Forgive me father for I have sinned.

    Priest: What is it my child?

    Game Producer: I can handle the guilt no more father I must confess. I have been involved in horrendous acts against the gaming community. Sure we provide great entertainment but the evil that surrounds it…

    Priest: My child tell me and let go of this sin.

    Game Producer: First father we make games and we complete them but in sinister move we cut certain segments with the intention of selling them at a later date as new material.

    Priest: Is that all?

    Game Producer: No not at all father. It turns my stomach thinking of the next. Testers, minimum wage, hard working testers come to us with bugs found in our games. What do we do? We turn them away. Shippable bugs we call them. Maybe fix them in a patch later.

    Priest: Go on.

    Game Producer: Sequels father. All we do is pump out sequels. Year after year we make minor alterations to a game and charge full price. Minimum effort maximum reward. Sure the consumers should know better but why does it have to be like this!

    Priest: My child you have lifted many burdens of your chest. Do you have more to confess?

    Game Producer: Father this does feel better but yes more guilt must I lay down. We produce special editions. They are full of worthless crap. We know it but the punters love it and once again we are taking advantage of their innocent souls.

    Game Producer: Also father we have pre-order deals that if you don’t take advantage of can lead to you missing out on some neat features in our game. Complete manipulation that I just can not live with.

    Priest: It is good you have recognised these heinous acts but I still sense you have more to confess.

    Game Producer: Once father we used to encourage our gaming community. Take our game, mod it we said. Have all the fun in the world on dedicated servers. No more father. We control the content and for what? A few more dollars. There father you have my confession can the great gaming God forgive me?

    Priest: Go my child you are absolved. Go and sin no more.

  • I’m going for a mix of sins on the part of the gamers, and on the part of the publishers/developers.

    Sins of the Publishers/Developers:

    Advanced Spoiler-ing: Thou shalt not post trailers containing a large number of major scenes of your game. All you need to do is give us enough to whet our appetites. (Guilty: Uncharted 2. That game was one long list of scenes I’d seen in the trailer until just before the end.)

    Lazy Porting: Thou shalt not do a half-assed job on porting a console game to a PC. Things like not changing prompts in a quick time event is just lazy and irritating. (Guilty: Devil May Cry 3. Come on, you couldn’t put a bloody option to quit the game in the main menu?)

    Lack of Originality: Thou shalt not directly rip every single part of your game from other games you liked. Have some original stuff in there. (Guilty: Darksiders – Okay, so the story was good. But the game played like a poor man’s Zelda with a somehow worse Legacy of Kain: Defiance style combat system and a couple of simple Portal style puzzles)

    Beating A Dead Horse: Thou shalt not keep releasing game after game for an IP that you have already flogged to death and beyond. (Guilty: Every single Sonic game on the current gen of consoles, with the possible exception of Sonic and the Secret Rings, which was the best of a ridiculously bad bunch)

    Insane Difficulty Curves: Thou shalt not insert random, out of place difficulty spikes. Seriously. Just don’t do it. (Guilty: Hawx. Don’t give me a time limit, not show me the location of my targets, and fill the map with giant zones I can’t go into for more than 15 seconds without automatically failing the mission.)

    Sins of the Gamers:

    Hating on DLC: Thou shalt not needlessly harp on about DLC being Satan himself. Yes, I agree, DLC that is actually on disc is a joke. But DLC can be a good thing, and constantly whining about it just makes you seem like a little bitch. (Guilty: At least half the gamers I know)

    Being a Console Fanboy: Thou shalt not make an idiot out of yourself by flaming people for their console choice. Fair enough if you have a favourite console, but it doesn’t make anyone else’s choice less legitimate. Unless that choice is a Wii, in which case they’re fair game. (Guilty: To an extent, pretty much all gamers, it’s just that some of us aren’t complete jerks about it)

    Console Preference: PS3

  • Seven Deadly Sins of Gaming:

    8-bit Tie: Showing just how ‘geeky’ you THINK you are is simply uncool. Be yourself, not a video game.

    Second Life: Gamers were so jealous of ‘real people’ being in control of their owns lives that they flocked to a virtual world to instill a false sense of living.

    Goatse: No matter how angry a gamer is, subjecting another person to this hideousness causes more harm than it is worth.

    Infomercials: Preying on the laziness of gamers… but if you order now, we’ll throw in Shamwow!

    Custom Servers: Designed and created purely for the greedy gamer who wants to unlock all of those juicy weapons at any expense.

    Online Pizza Ordering: Why doesn’t Dominos just run a subscription service? For the horny gamer that is too busy playing Ebony to remember that they clicked an ad with boobs on it.

  • 1. Girl gaming – thou shall not use thy sex to acquire more loot
    2. n00bness – thou shall read thy manual before spamming questions on others
    3. Sniping – thou shall not steal another player’s kill
    4. Ninjaing – thou shall not swipe another player’s loot
    5. Pirating – thou shall not unlawfully acquire games
    6. Spamming – thou shall keep thy crap to thyself
    7. Cheating – thou shall obey all the laws of the game at all times

  • 7 sins of the gaming industry:


    Is Microsoft a big bag of air or thine soothsayer?


    EA: we want to be Modern Warfare 2.


    Randy Pitchford, pitches his rage…again.


    We know we have your pre-order, but we’ll get back to you at Blizzcon…maybe.


    Money, Money, Money, Modern Warfare, Money, Money, Money, Guitar Hero, Money, Money, Money, Dj Hero…


    “It only does everything,” is not enough for some.


    You’re buying it because you really enjoy good quality mini-games.


  • My Gaming Seven Sins
    Single Mindedness: Don’t even try and ask me what we should have for dinner than alone if we should sell the car and buy a pineapple farm. I’m busy damn it.
    Insombia: Just one more level, race or check point. I’m sure I’ll catch up on sleep in the morning,
    Impatience: I pressed ‘x’ I was facing the platform, why didn’t I jump its the controls responseivness not the fact its 3:17 AM in the morning.
    Malnutrition: “What did you have for lunch, husband?” “Huh, yeah sure lets sell the car … of course I like Pineapple”
    Pedant: One more medal, achievement, race of this lap and I’ll get that golden trophy then I can put the game down.
    Obsession: “Just popping down the street to grab a game honey” “It’s 11:45 PM” “Yeah midnight launch”
    Stupidity: “I’m off to bed love”, “Ok night, I’m staying up to play some more”

  • Seven deadly sins of gaming:

    Trash talking: If you really knew my mother you would know what a lovely person she is.

    Wii compilation titles: Game one waggle-left, game two waggle-right, game three waggle in HELL!!!

    Host quitting: Taking your game and going home. But it is also a sin that it can happen in the first place.

    Sports games: Football, soccer and golf were around long before gaming. They do not change every year. Just make one game the best that you can then move on.

    Emo-Teen Hero: I know that they might look cool but when i was in high school I couldn’t summon demons or slice people in half with a sword.
    I had to go to uni first.

    Movie games: Making smoldering pile of a game simply for quick bucks and to promote your movie.

    Booty Cam: Yes females are attractive and sometimes even more so when they wear less clothes. But a chain mail bikini is not an effective piece of battle gear.
    Even on a female elf archer that looks like Keira Knightley

    Xbox 360 please lord Wildgoose, ruler of the inner forums of hell

  • Pride: Buying all the sonic games because you still cant admit that they suck.
    Envy: People who bought Bayonetta on the ps3 when the 360 version was better (before the patch)
    Wrath: is what happens when you tell 360 players that Live sucks because you pay for it
    Sloth: Nintendo and third party Wii Developers dumbing games for soccer mums:P
    Avarice: People who buy the Naruto and Shovelware games.
    Gluttony: Damn World of Warcraft! RUINED MY LIFE!!
    Lust: Looking up Peaches dress in Super Smash Bros Mellee trophy mode…CMON WEVE ALL TRIED IT AT LEAST ONCE!

  • Gluttony – Buying new titles to just have them stockpile up and never ever break the seal and let them sniff what the drive of my ps3/360 are like even though you have a massive backlog of games to get through and not enough time.

    Lust – Having an e-relationship with some women in everquest/wow totally upon the fact that you lust over them night elve asses or lust over her voice in vent

    Greed – ROLLING ON EPIC LOOT YOU DONT NEED JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO! or, you feel that that person is “too noob” to acquire such an item.

    Sloth – Not caring about the finer technical points of a game and skipping cut scenes because you just dont care, neglecting the awesomeness of games because you want to speed run through.

    Wrath – Me breaking a ps2 slim over my knee because of Dragonball Z was “apparantly” cheating.. or, ONYXIA WIPE! MORE DOTS DOTS MORE DOTS!!!

    Envy – Me being so poor as a child that i envied every one of my friends who had a playstation console when i was still playing a mega drive 🙁

    Pride – Confronting the angry HALO community on live and copping a verbal beating from them and their inflated chests full of pride because you aren’t as good.

  • 1. pride, Keep your gamerscore to yourself. No-one cares what your G-score is. Don’t brag. Only brag through gaming, when you can atually prove you can get every kill a knifer on MW2
    2. envy, Don’t hate on a game because it’s not on your platform!
    3. wrath, Chill out, man. Don’t lodge your 360 controller in the wall because you were THAT close to an achievement
    4. sloth, Don’t use TF2 achievement servers to get achievements – do them the PROPER way!!
    5. avarice, Don’t simply horde cash in your games. spend it on upgrades and equipment and prostitutes!
    6. gluttony, Buy a game. Play it through. 100% Coplete it. Don’t buy 8 games and get only 8 hours into each one.
    7. lust, Do not buy any game because of how hot the ladies (or men) on the front cover are!!
    Any platform is good!

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