First Impressions Of The Kane & Lynch Movie Script

I've been slowly reading through a draft of the big screen adaptation of IO Interactive's Kane & Lynch today, the movie set to star Bruce Willis as Kane, Jamie Foxx as Lynch. Screenwriter Kyle Ward has done some... interesting things.

The version of the Kane & Lynch script we got our hands on dates back to September 13, 2007. The 112 page script follows the plot of the original Eidos-published game Kane & Lynch: Dead Men fairly closely, introducing us to the titular characters. The names have been slightly rearranged, Marcus J. Kane and Lester Lynch, respectively, and both characters are fleshed out via some flashbacks.

As in the game, Kane and Lynch are on their way to death row when a group of mercenaries, The Seven, plough through their prison transport bus and snatch up the two lowlifes. The two are informed they have just a few days to hunt down Japanese crime lord Retomoto Matsahushi retrieve an important somethingorother or Kane's wife and daughter will be killed.

Here's where things start to deviate. Kane's daughter hates his guts, a feeling made much more ambiguous in the game. That makes it just a little harder to sympathise with the character destined to be portrayed by Bruce Willis.

Also unusually different from the video game is Lynch's character. He's still a heavily medicated schizophrenic, but his manner of speech in the script is, let's just say it's unexpected. Here's some sample dialogue from Lynch, ordering a drink at a Tokyo nightclub filled with yakuza.

LYNCH Actually, I'll have a Shirley Temple if you wouldn't mind.

KANE (to Lynch) A Shirley fucking Temple?

LYNCH What? I can't have alcohol with my medication.

KANE Then order a tonic. But if those yakuza see you sippin' on faggot juice, you'll be deep throating a fist fuck faster than you can say "throw in a twisty straw". Don't do anything to call attention to yourself.

LYNCH I happen to be parched.

While every other character drops the words "fuck" and "shit" liberally, a script filled with foulmouthed bad-asses through and through, the Kyle Ward version of Lynch is wildly different from the IO Interactive original. Some of Lynch's choice dialogue includes, "I don't think I appreciate your affectionate caress." after being manhandled by Kane and "Do you have any idea the magnitude of what you're confabulating about?" in response to learning what the two death row convicts will be doing in Japan.

The script does have some action scenes that sound like potential highlights, including liberal use of construction equipment to destroy people, places and things.

Another potentially interesting set piece is the gunfight conducted in a crowded public place, both parties armed with silencers, resulting in a shoot out in which nearby bystanders are blissfully unaware of the bullets whizzing by them - and the people who are killed as a result of the quiet gunfire.

We're still going over the script, so expect a more fleshed out preview of the Kane & Lynch movie adaptation on Kotaku soon.


    Another nail in the coffin.

    This movie is going downhill faster than you can say "the kane and Lynch movie sucks balls".

      ill prolly c it i dotn dont think bruce willis has ever done a bad action movie

    The dialogue for Lynch just makes the Jamie Foxx casting decision even worse.

    Jamie Foxx as Lynch? I don't mind the guy but that seems like a retarded casting decision. Next we'll be hearing that Abe Vigoda has been cast as Captain America with Zac Efron as Red Skull.

      Oh no, that Capt. America role has apparently gone to Chris Evans. So i guess we should say hello to yet another crap Comic-book movie. But if he turns it down, they always have the guy from Step Up who apparently is their second choice!!! It just gets better!!!!

      @Old Skool Gamer
      Maybe they make crap movies cause they're choosing games that shouldn't be made into movies or crappy games or games that just aren't popular and therefore don't warrant a high budget to be made into a good film. They try to make a blockbuster film with the budget close to that of an indie-flick.

        Jamie Foxx as Lynch is almost as bad as Will Smith's son as the new Karate kid.

          Oh my god! Can I please rant about that for a little bit?

          The Karate kid is a 16/17 year old kid being beaten up by other kids in an american high school after moving. He is not some outcast black kid in japan, what is this Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift? It even has the whole romance interest.

          Nor is he meant to be 13 years old. The bullies that beat him up in this version are about 14, and then Jackie Chan jumps in and protects him. This isn't some seemingly frail old guy suddenly busting out some moves that beat up some young strapping 17 year olds, its Jackie Chan beating up some 14 year old kids. Hell, even I could have beat up those kids.

          And finally, what does the "KARATE Kid" learn to protect himself? Kung Fu! Seriously, who the hell wrote this script?

            The story (according to Wikipedia) was written by Robert Mark Kamen, who surprisingly wrote the story for the original Karate Kid along with Karate Kid 2 and 3 as well as a bunch of other movies. I for one am surprised that the writer of the original chose to take the remake in that direction.

            There are some things they just shouldn't mess with. For example the upcoming A-Team movie. You just can't have an A-Team movie without Mr. T, you just can't. It's like making an Ace Ventura, Dumb and Dumber or The Mask sequel without Jim Carrey, but they did it anyway and they all failed miserably.

            You would think that Hollywood would have learned from bad casting decisions they've made in the past, but they haven't.

    FOR THE LOVE OF GOD stop movie creators! Kane and Lynch had the perfect movie story in the game. People always said since it didnt make it as a game it would make a great movie! Now they want to change that anyway! Jaime Foxx as Lynch is ridiculous and now theyve made him an intelectual wise cracking black person.... god. What is so hard about following the original plot.... I think us gamers need to make our own studio and make FAITHFUL movie adaptions.

      Seconded. We've been getting too many crap movies based on games for too long.

      God, I really hope the Prince Of Persia movie isn't gonna suck.

        I'm sure it will. You have the problem of them taking the script of the game and deciding it won't work for the general public as a movie, so they make a few changes to take it more in line with what the average movie-goer will like. But they can't go too far or they'll end up alienating the original gamer audience, and so by trying to make a movie that will work for both audiences you end up making something that neither like.

        There was some interesting info related to the Dragonball Evolution movie on an IMDB thread where a guy actually got in contact with the original script writer. Even the writer hated the final script but they wouldn't let him keep it true to the original series.

    Maybe they'll include a character called 'Jim Hurstmann' who Kane and Lynch get fired from his job.

    Kane and Lynch turns out to be crap? I never saw that one coming!!!!

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