I'm The Asshole At Starbucks With The IPad

I might seem like a friendly sort of fellow, ready and wiling to share his newly-acquired technology with the world, but really I'm just the asshole at Starbucks with the iPad.

If you are looking to get anything productive done on your iPad today, Starbucks is not the place you want to be. Everyone who passes by stops to see what I am doing, asking if I think the iPad is worth it. And I answer every question with practiced ease, smiling a smile that makes it seem like I just enjoy helping people, instead of simply being the asshole at the Starbucks with the iPad.

A part of me is frustrated by the fact that these people keep bothering me. The other part - the asshole part - savours the attention and perhaps even a little bit of the envy I see in their eyes

"It's great for reading the paper," I tell one woman, showing her the front page of the USA Today app.

"It could certainly give the Kindle a run for the money," I tell another person, who stopped on the way out of the store to drill me on features and pricing details.

No one asks about games, my only real area of expertise, but that's okay. I went to public school. I know that public speaking has nothing to do with knowing your subject. Besides, I'm the asshole in the Starbucks with the iPad.

From behind the counter, my girlfriend laughs and shakes her head. She knows this is just a chance to get public reaction to the iPad, while role-playing being the asshole in the Starbucks with the iPad, but she'll never tell.

Now I'm curled up at at corner table. No one can see me typing this.

I've got my data. People are curious. Maybe not video games, but every where I go - Starbucks, Waffle House, other Starbucks - they all have questions.

And now I can stop pretending I have answers.

I may not be an expert on the iPad, but I'm pretty good at pretending to be the asshole at Starbucks with an iPad.

Note: This post written completely on my iPad. [Editor's note: Which required a thorough copyediting.]


    Starbucks has the worst coffee.

      Any person who complains about Starbucks coffee -- on a story having nothing to do with coffee quality -- is a nincompoop.

    Some more copy editing will be needed.

    But only if you're 'wiling' to.

    ok mike, 5 kotaku/gizmondo stories later we get it you have an ipad.

    I think the Ipad is the most useless device of 2010... They are going to be collecting dust within 2 months i reckon

    Oh and i mean "after' people have bought them. People will buy them in droves and then within 2 months of purchase they will be collecting dust, or dropped and broken

    *sigh* I'm so over crApple products. I wish people would stop trying to be trendy. Form over function... eugh

      Because it's not like how Apple products always usher in a new generation of better products. All MP3 players were giant blocks of turd before the iPod. All computers were ugly generic beige boxes before the iMac. All phones were either tiny useless uninspired pieces of crap dumb phones, over overly complicated clumsy smart phones before the iPhone.

    You're not the 'asshole' with the iPad.. your just another elitest fag who thinks the sun shines from Apples ass...

    Enough is enough.. this isn't even slightly gaming related..

    yeah, i dont get why anyone in their right mind would want 1. i bought the touch when it first came out and barely used it after a week or 2. i have 9 laptops, a few iphones, 2 touches and 5 pc's in my house and i reckon thats about enough. although i do intend to upgrade my pc to a 27" iMac in the next month or so.
    Note: This comment written completely on my Macbook.

      i dont know if you heard but MY laptop count is over 9000

      what else do you have? itemize it im really interested. itemize your house for us. please i cant wait email me. xxx

      Note: You kinda some across as a douche writing about how many of whatever you have. It really isn't bragging by any means.
      "I have enough computer gadgets in my house as it is" is much shorter and easier to type on your fancy Macbook.


    For the love of Ballmer, stop it please.

    This REEKS of arrogance.


      "A part of me is frustrated by the fact that these people keep bothering me."

      you know what the cure is? not carrying it around with you when you get a coffee.

      people are going to ask you questions about it, don't pretend like you don't love the attention.

    I laugh at people like you.... because you wasted your money on an electronic fad so that you can pretend to be cool around people you don't know, who are also laughing at you on the inside.

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