Xbox Live Unlikely To Approve Vagina Adventure Game

Xbox Live Unlikely To Approve Vagina Adventure Game

Micro-marines in condom helmets tromping through a landscape of pubic hair will not be part of your Xbox 360 experience, according to a Microsoft statement on Privates, a title being developed for the PC and Xbox Live Arcade.

Zombie Cow, the studio, uh, behind Privates says the game may be irreverent in tone, it was built to promote safe sex messages, and was written to follow sex education guidelines in the British government’s National Curriculum.

That doesn’t seem to be of much persuasion to Microsoft. A spokesman gave this rather definite comment to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer.

This game has not been submitted to our pre-publication peer review process, and it has not been approved for distribution on Xbox Live Indie Games. We have guidelines in place that closely track requirements of content ratings boards worldwide and, among other things, prohibit the publication of strong sexual content.

While we haven’t seen this game, we can confirm that if it is consistent with the description we have seen on the Internet, this game would not pass peer review and would not be permitted to be distributed on Xbox Live.

All is not lost; while Zombie Cow was hoping for approval and still intends to submit it, the game will also be free for the PC and distributed by Channel 4.

“There was always going to be a risk it won’t pass Peer Review, but obviously we’ll do whatever we can to get the Xbox version out,” Zombie Cow founder Dan Marshall told the P-I. “It’d be a shame if a huge number of teenagers missed out on some quality gaming and vital education because of some abstract, cellular-level innards and pubic hairs.”

Yeah, Microsoft. Why you gotta take the SEMEN out of AMUSEMENT?

Xbox Joysticking Unlikely for Game Set Inside Vagina


  • So the goal was to send out a safe-sex message but you have to pay to do so? Sounds pretty stupid to me.

    There are much more appropriate and more understanding ways of sending out that particular message.

    They could just admit they wanted a bit of controversy to seek attention to their product so they made it about a vagina.
    Funny? For a second yeah. Smart? No, just cheap & tacky.

    • The payment would have only been to cover xbox live costs, as the pc version is free. I believe the game was created in an attempt to reach an audience who does not often watch tv(except downloaded shows) and would rather play games than watch tv.

    • Nice to see you getting your knickers in a twist there, buddy. I see a company releasing the game for free on PC. The xbox version will be paid, but I’m pretty sure there must be a price attached for Live arcade. Aside from that, if they get enough money to pay for the production of the game, they can make more.

      The problem with sex education is that it is up until now promoted in traditiaonally “appropriate” ways, such as a lady coming to your school for a day and talking to you for half an hour about a variety of things that a lot of kids are uncomfortable about. It isn’t anywhere near as effective as health education could or should be.

      People learn better when engaged and interested. (Good) Video games are both engaging and interesting. If it also helps to educate kids on important things, then all the better. I’m hoping that this kind of thing is properly applied to all forms of education, including sex ed.

    • Immature response: cheap and tacky? Like your mum dude!

      Mature response: if we’re going to get past safe sex practises as a taboo subject in our culture we need to discuss it in any possible forum and engage people of development age ie. Teens, on a media savvy level.

      Privates looks like the exact sort of thing sexual health groups have been promoting for years. Its worth noting the rate of STI’s in teenagers in Australia, britain and the US has actually gone up in the last few years so most current methods of education are clearly failing.

      Also, your mum.

  • Yeh because not like dicks and dick jokes dont make prominent appearances in oh I dont know… EVERYTHING.
    Vaginas are just always in bad taste somehow huh?
    Funny to make a ‘cock’ joke but use the ‘c’ word equivalent and bam, your permabanned on most boards(well, not Aussie ones).
    Personally, I saw grow the hell up MS, majority of your demographic are adults, and were sick of being talked down to.
    Whats more, there is plenty of second rate crap on your live service that could be seen as offensive against females for much more blatant and apparent reasons such as them being used as obvious sex objects to lure and entice.
    Thats fine, it exists in our society, and I dont see why sex shouldnt be used, as we are all adults, but dont start pulling out your censorhammer because somethings being satirical instead of titilating.

    Damn hypocrites.

  • oh man, now I won’t be able to read the word amusement again without thinking about semen. Thanks Kotaku.

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